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Post by Coaster on Nov 30, 2013 21:13:28 GMT -5
It was a bulk deal from a Black Friday sale. She wasn't sure where she was going to put them all, anyways. (them rotten greedy black friday subscribers)
*spontaneously explodes*
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Post by Lizica on Dec 5, 2013 22:23:47 GMT -5
*...figuratively, with glee!*
*runs out of oxygen while in a submersible in the deep sea*
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Post by Coaster on Feb 3, 2014 1:04:19 GMT -5
Global warming catches up to you and it turns out you're not underwater anymore. The door pops open and you can breathe again (even though the air is a bit thin with all the greenhouse gases and whatnot).
*violently and colorfully insults the Harry Potter series, Twilight series, Hunger Games series, and pretty much everything else that's ever been popular, onstage at an awards ceremony dedicated to the positive virtues of such series... then attempts a stage dive onto an audience of crazed fans of said series*
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Post by Twillie on Feb 3, 2014 19:56:59 GMT -5
Ironically, a helicopter similar to those in the Hunger Games swiftly picks you up as security mind wipes the audience.
*lands in the cooking pot of a malevolent, cannibalistic society*
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Post by Lizica on Feb 7, 2014 0:24:56 GMT -5
The members of the society become extremely excited by your arrival, listing all the delicious soups they can make. Except, they realize while recounting the recipes, they're out of salt! And also bouillon. And leafy greens, and noodles, and carrots, and marinade, and spices, and just about anything that would make this dish even halfway decent. You manage to climb out of the cooking pot and escape while everyone rushes off to the grocery store.
*falls into a literally bottomless pit*
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Post by Yoyti on Feb 7, 2014 6:03:51 GMT -5
It's okay. You soon enough reach terminal velocity, and then you're okay, so long as you don't experience the sudden deceleration associated with hitting the bottom.
*Falls into a fifty-meter deep pit.*
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Post by Gelquie on Feb 11, 2014 2:20:19 GMT -5
It's full of water. The water is there 5 meters down. You're fine (assuming you know how to swim). Just gotta climb out now.
*Jumps off a train while the vehicle is crossing a bridge over a very deep ravine.*
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Post by Coaster on Feb 11, 2014 2:36:32 GMT -5
Having finally reached the caboose, you make your grand leap off the back of the train... and fall on the tracks behind it and roll over a few times and get some nasty road rash (track rash?) but manage to pick yourself up and get to safety in time.
*evangelizes in a closed country*
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Post by Gelquie on Feb 11, 2014 2:52:40 GMT -5
Well, you've managed to get into the closed country somehow... Which means you're probably in hiding. Which probably means that no one is around you to listen to your evangelizing. You don't really accomplish anything, but you don't get caught either.
*Goes to a well-defended military base surrounded by armed guards and shouts "I HAVE A BOMB AND I'LL TAKE YOU ALL WITH ME!".*
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Post by Lizica on Feb 23, 2015 0:01:36 GMT -5
Due to a miscommunication, they pleasantly assume you finally came to deliver that crate of lip balm they ordered last week. You offer them one from your purse, and they usher you away in disappointment.
*discovers a hidden group of Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons*
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Post by Twillie on Feb 23, 2015 19:46:49 GMT -5
Well, thankfully you discovered them from a distance, allowing ample time to walk away. By the time they notice that a human was in the vicinity and storm to your house, you've already closed the front door that always hinders them.
*sticks hand into a plugged in toaster*
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Post by Coaster on Feb 23, 2015 22:41:10 GMT -5
Just because it's plugged in doesn't mean that it's running. Nobody has had toast this morning, so it's just ordinary cold metal.
*takes ten times the maximum recommended dose of some painkillers*
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Post by Gelquie on Feb 24, 2015 3:05:57 GMT -5
Seems like someone replaced them all with sugar pills, probably someone who caught on to what you're doing. So you end up fine. Totally hyper, but fine.
*Runs up to a politically powerful and deadly person and punches them in the face.*
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Post by Coaster on Feb 24, 2015 4:48:26 GMT -5
Thankfully for you, that's exactly the whole point of Super Politics Punchers for the newest game console of your choice. You just beat the final boss and the game is over. Wooooooo. I'm sure Elin is quite proud
*takes away the ice cream and soap operas from someone who has been dumped by their significant other*
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Post by Gelquie on Feb 24, 2015 4:59:51 GMT -5
They scream at you at first... And then they realize that they got their initial anger out, and they proceed to cry on your shoulder instead until they get tired and go to bed.
*Straps a raw steak to my leg and swims in shark-infested waters that have otherwise been evacuated.*
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