Issue 284 Reviews

[Nimras]

Vanity: Part Four
by literalluau

I’m a horrible person -- when you described the sister’s “cauliflower like” heads I wondered if their last name was Merrick.

Awww… I get the feeling Chastings will still be hanging around a lot Even if Andrea doesn’t need his help in beauty contests anymore.

Hehe, and nice way to get a happy ending, make Sarah work for it a bit.

[Nimras]

Super Chel: Part Three
by kittygirl5170

but the rest of the girls had completely forgotten her recent rendezvous with the boy.

What a hilariously dramatic way to put it.

Ohh, what a clever way to slowly bring the others over to their way of thinking. And Liza-tron is an awesome name.

[Nimras]

Illusen's Bad Hair Day: Part Two
by ummagine3284

“Jhudora is so evil! Let’s go find her and tell her how we feel!”

I am so naive and enthusiastic! Redshirt! Redshirt! …sorry, I just went Trekkie there, didn’t I…

Jhudora vs Jelly. *covers eyes with hands* Oh dear…

[kittygirl]

nimras23 said:

Super Chel: Part Three
by kittygirl5170

but the rest of the girls had completely forgotten her recent rendezvous with the boy.

What a hilariously dramatic way to put it.

Ohh, what a clever way to slowly bring the others over to their way of thinking. And Liza-tron is an awesome name.

The boy-girl thing is a big deal when you are six. XD

The mini-plots were hard, because I couldn't go into too much detail (because seriously they could be their own story), but if I put too little detail no one would get it. I was kind of worried that I hadn't walked that line right, so I'm glad you liked it. After Super Chel and Zafara Boy I sort of ran out of ideas. XD The rest of them were stretches in my mind, so I'm happy it worked.

Thanks for the review! ^_^

[retired]

nimras23 said:

The Bunker
by hubadawaha

The best part of this joke was the *Meanwhile-- in Shenkuu* segment. Probably because I use that line (well, except I use China) on my littlest sister all the time. Um… Why does the Peophin go from being naked, to in robes, to naked again? I love the swirly smoke around the house when she fixes it. Prettyfull…

Yeah, I love that part. XD

Sorry about any confusion caused by nakedness. My charries are naked in their chibi forms because I'm too lazy to draw clothes, and their forms are so amorphous anyway, I figured no one would mind. ^_^'

[Kat]

nimras23 said:

Another Hero's Journey: Part Eleven
by precious_katuch14

“And what if Rohane comes home and sees nothing but ruins? He’ll be disappointed... everything he’s done, in Father’s name and in our name, would be for naught. Even Father would be disappointed, and he’d be sad, seeing his family suffering and defenseless.”

Rueben fights dirty. ;D

But Trestin wasn’t about to let a single bandit escape. Some villagers surprised those who tried to flee, and instantly took them down.

Would now be the wrong time to start demanding blood, violence, and gore? *innocent face*

Awww… Poor Rueben, Ruben, and Andrea.

[shadow=purple,left,300]XD Thanks for the review, Nim. Unfortunately I was so neurotic about the rules on violence that I barely put any detail. ^^;

The Truth about the Talisman - ethan and gliderames

I have to say, I knew naught about the talisman till I read this article. XD It was really informative, and you presented all the info in a creative way that doesn't end up becoming too serious to the point of boring the reader. My only nitpick however is the intro; I found it too long for my taste, but since intros are meant to capture attention, I'll just shut up. XDDDD[/shadow]

[Kat]

[shadow=purple,left,300]Legend Seekers: Mysterious Magic - Yuka

Wow...very good conclusion there. It wasn't too much of a cliffhanger but left just enough for the reader to think about what could happen next. The meeting with Pemero and Jen was very bittersweet, and I can feel that indeed, sometimes the truth just hurts. *is a sucker for these things*

Catching Up - Fj0rd

There wasn't much action in this part, and most of it was just description, and Ms. Evea's impressions of her students so far. It shows how the characters have been developing throughout the story, but you could've added a few more touches of action, like more snatches of random dialog from the other faeries. Then again, actions do speak louder than words. XD

The Mirror of Memories - Sytra

I can tell that Aina's 'fessing up is one major point in the story. I find it fun that Malin and Enzie were able to piece together everything Aina has been telling them and managed to figure out for themselves that she's...well, got things to hide. It was mostly conversation, but that conversation managed to convey a lot.


I swear, I'll continue. XD[/shadow]

[Deleted]

Thanks for the review, Nim!

[Birdy]

Articles

The Truth About the Talisman

The types of each individual bead have very peculiar names that the Neopets Team had a lot of fun making up.

Good article, very informative. I enjoyed reading it!

Short Stories

Protectors: Shared Dreams

O.O Purdy picture...

She laughed to herself. Her habit of catching pets that fell from high places was getting a little too routine.

Overall, this story was a good read.


Thor's Tales: The Rainbow Pearl

Great job on the picture!
Good story, I liked it!


Glacia

Great story, and well written.
I liked it! ;D

Comics

Pointless Nonsense - Games Room

;D I liked it!
And yes, I remember what the old games room looked like


Why Some Neopians Don't Make...

I liked this!


The Bunker

*grins* I like this! Especially the Shenkuu bit.


Razzle Dazzle - Episode X

I like the artwork on this.


Never Give Up!!

Potato Meepits... That's a new one. (To me, at least.)
Good artwork as well.

Series

Vanity: Part Four

*sniffs* Awww! A great ending to a great series!
*pokes* Are Sarah and Andrea going to have more adventures out of curiosity?


Super Chel: Part Three

Awww, it's over?
Anywho, I have enjoyed reading this series!


Illusen's Bad Hair Day: Part Two

Good part; I can't wait to read the next one!

[Brains]

Tashni-

Okay, so I've been meaning to read all of the Shadowflame stories for some time now, and I have read them all! Quick note on the first two: loved 'em. There was definitely some Indiana Jones type stuff, but by no means is Shadowflame a rip-off or "Neo version" of something else.

;D Thanks so much for the vote of confidence!

First off, I think your writing has improved.

Curses, there is no Blushing emoticon!

First off, I think your writing has improved. I found it very easy to read and follow, and pleasant to the ear. Your beginning was VERY slow, I think it barely captured the reader's attention. If I'd been skimming through the NT, I probably would have read the first paragraph or two and said, "Nevermind. On to the next!" So, while I enjoyed the moment of quiet contemplation, that was only because I know Shadowflame and am looking forward to her next adventure.

I seem to have forgotten to add a hook to this story. Or maybe I simply didn't bait the hook. Either way, you're absolutely right.

The reflection about giving up the Dewdrop might have been a good place to start, because now I want to know what the Dewdrop is and why she gave it up. I also want to know about her, because she's a treasure hunter, and yet she's selfless.

Note To Self- Enlist Tashni as Proofreader next time...

Seriously though, you raise a good point. Shadow is a living dichotomy of characteristics, perhaps they can act as a better hook.

I really became absorbed when we are introduced to the fact that Shadow has a family to look after. This is a side to her I did not expect to see, and now I am rooting for her more than ever!

She definitely doesn't come across as the kind of person who would be in charge of a family, now does she? ;D It's why I like this one so much.

I really liked the character of Daedra. She added unexpected death to the villainous the Grey.

I sincerely hope you meant depth. I really do.

And seriously, you should have made this is a series! I'm surprised you got away with a cliffhanger like that. When's the next one coming out?

It actually *was* a series, but after something like four or five weeks of "Too Many Good Stories" neomails I just decided to sit right down and do things my way. I suppose the only real reason I got away with the cliffhanger was because Droplet knew that I had another one following for sure, seeing as she'd already read it or seen it five times.

And Brains, this is far and away your best Shadowflame yet.

Thank you, and I greatly appreciate the time you took to review.

[Brains]

Hunny (LadyAriel)-

First of all, I have to apologize because I didn't read the other two short stories before reading this one. ^^;

No worries, I'm told this was a good place to start in on the series. In fact, thanks for reading it at all!

Most of the minor characters were well-developed as well despite how short their parts are in the story. I could pretty much gauge their personalities and had me symphatizing with them (e.g. Niobe's character just through the letter). I especially liked Daedra's character.

Everybody plays a part in a grander scheme here, I'm very glad to know that the preplanning paid off for it.

One of the few things that confused me was the long conversation that Shadow was eavesdropping on. I have no idea if these characters have already been introduced in past stories so maybe it's just me but I couldn't quite follow what they were talking about in the beginning. ^^

The institution of The Grey itself was introduced in Snowfall, along with a few of the characters that may have been mentioned. Alonn, Herod, and Daedra are all new though.

My favorite part in the story is from Daedra's and Shadow's fight until the last line (I really liked that last line). You really had me symphatizing with both of their characters there. Especially Daedra.

All in all, a well-written story. I like your writing style, Brains.

So the last line was good? I'm not entirely clear on what you mean there.

Daedra is, like many villains, not necessarily evil- just misguided. She's living in the wrong mindset for her situation but she doesn't quite know it yet.

Thank you so very much for the review!

[Brains]

Nimras-

It opens with a bathing scene… ;D

It figures you would enjoy that ;D

The whole, “this means war” made Bugs Bunny’s voice ring in my ears.

This just in! Neopets to travel back in time to hire Mel Blanc to do the voice of Shadowflame Darkhunter in the upcoming Neopets Movie!

...A dream come true, except for the whole Mel Blanc thing.

*snickerfits* Are you saying you don’t like Spooky Foods special… spices?

It's not that I don't like them, it's just that they're a little... 'suspicious' lets say. Essence of Beak, and the like.

…It doesn’t end. That would have made an awesome opening chapter for a series, but for a short story I think a lot of people won’t read the next one -- simply because they’ll have to go read another (three) stories first. Color me jaded, but I think many are far too lazy for that.

*Gets Emotion-Painting Crayola Crayons and scribbles on Nim*

No, wait, that was ecstatic, not jaded. You probably shouldn't go outside for a few hours until it wears off.

In all seriousness however, this was original the opening chapter AND the second part of a three part series- which is why it plays out as such.
For the next one, I'm not going to suggest Prisoner and Snowfall. All they'd need to read is The Seeker and we can move on from there. I'm a little worried that people won't read it, but I won't be surprised- to be completely honest, for the first two I think the only people who read it until now were me and the editor, and the handful of reviewers who stumbled through them. At the same time, I'd like to think it's worth that initial slog through. Once you're up to date, you'll be willing to stick with it, learn more. Some of the best stories take the longest to get going.

Sorry if that sounded arrogant at all.

[PFA]

nimras23 said:

Pointless Nonsense - Games Room
by petfriendamy

Whoa, the colors… @_@ Hehehe, that’s a good question, where did they go.

birdy said:

Pointless Nonsense - Games Room

;D I liked it!
And yes, I remember what the old games room looked like

Thanks for the reviews!

[Nut]

Article

[glow=blue,2,300]The Truth About the Talisman[/glow]
This was a very interesting, well written, and informative article. I think a lot of people have been in the dark about the Lutari Talisman (me included), and this article is interesting because it sheds light on a subject that most people haven’t thought about and might not even be interested in. Yet you presented the material in a way that keeps the reader’s attention.

What about thousands of Meepits doing your every bidding? Well then, this is the article for you! Please note that Meepits are not included.

Aww, I wanted those Meepits. >>

It was really interesting to learn about the functions of the various beads. You made me so curious that I was tempted to buy a few beads for myself, just to see what would happen. I like how you talk about the ways to get beads that don’t involve the Lutari Mobile. The idea that that’s the only way to get them probably turns off a lot of potential buyers. And it’s nice to know that we non-cell users aren’t the only ones who can’t get into that island.

The FAQ section was a really nice addition. Altogether, this was an excellent, informative article. I always enjoy articles that I learn something from, and I definitely know more about those beads now. Well done. ^^

[kittygirl]

birdy said:

Super Chel: Part Three

Awww, it's over?
Anywho, I have enjoyed reading this series!

I'm glad you liked it. ^^ That means a lot. And yep it's over. This thing was planned to be a short story. But it got out of hand. XDD