Issue 284 Reviews

[PFA]

kittygirl said:

Pointless Nonsense - Games Room by PFA
This was good. XD My only complaint is that the door in the last panel doesn't look like it extends all the way. It looks they could just walk around it.

imogenweasley said:

Pointless Nonsense - Games Room by PFA
Nice comic! I miss the old Games Room. Poor trapped pets. XD The art is cute too. Your lineart looks so smooth! You did a good job on the expressions too.

ethan said:

Pointless Nonsense - Games Room
by petfriendamy
Lovely art and very funny. I really like the artwork you used for the title banner, and AAA is drawn really well in the last frame. Great job!

amateurwriter said:

[shadow=purple,left,300]Pointless Nonsense - PFA

Nailing the Blumaroo anatomy = brownie points from me. ^___^

Of course, you could've done better with the anatomies of the pets in general, but hey, they're already good as it is. And AAA just has a lousy' huge head. XD

Now that you think of it...AAA is mean. XDDDDD I like the coloring, btw.[/shadow]

Thanks for the reviews! And... *kills that door* >_>

[Goosh]

The Bunker by Hub

I love your comics, Hub! The animation style and cute expressions are so well drawn. And the "Bonus!" is very funny, and perfectly random. Keep up the good work!


Oh, and one more thing: Who's that Chia in the background? Foreshadowing, or space filler?

[Brains]

Brains' Extreme Reviews

The Truth About the Talisman- Ethan/Gliderames
First off, thank you for writing this article both of you. I had pretty much accepted that the Lutari Talisman was completely useless, because I wasn't about to go download this game onto my cellphone any time soon. This article was very informative and generally well-written. It's more of a personal beef than a complaint about the article, but there were moments where I felt a little lost; the informal tone of the article confused me a few times and I had to scroll back up and read over a paragraph very carefully to make sure I understood what you were saying. I'm not sure what you can really do about that, and maybe it was just me. Either way, good article, and very informative.

Protectors: Shared Dreams- Nut
Let's not beat around the bush- I honestly would've believed that your custom was TNT's work, if it wasn't for the note. I felt the same way about your Lucky Cake pic- your art feels very well-drawn and professional.
I had no idea that this was actually a sequel until I read your post regarding the subject. While this shows that your work stands well on its own, I would perhaps suggest appending a note at the beginning. Just to clarify it, and all.
I enjoyed this story very thoroughly, you set up the story very well and the transition between dreams was very, very smooth. I may have to go back and relearn some of my Altadorian lore and reread it just to make sure I completely understood it, but it would be well worth the time. Top notch work.
Also, when she wakes up from the second dream during the council meeting, I don't know who actually says "The Dreamer sleeps!" but I loved that line so much; it felt like a very honest thing to say. IT's as though King Altador is very amused that she would fall asleep, and he's having some fun with it, or something like that.

Thor's Tales: The Rainbow Pearl- Huntress
I'll say to you the same thing I said to Nut- your custom art would fool any but the most discerning eye if it wasn't for the recent addition of art credit tags. You have a great talent for drawing, and it's always a sort of special treat to see what you've whipped up next. Except, less calories.
I wasn't sure I was buying into the story at the beginning, but once it got rolling this story was excellent. The transition almost threw me off for a moment, but the use of the three dots (I can never remember the official word for that) helped immeasurably. That first line after the transition really caught my attention, the “It’s been three days now!”. It really hooked me in.
At first, the finding of the pearl felt anticlimactic, but I thought about it for a few minutes and it made perfect sense. Not all treasures are epic adventures, for one. Just find it, view it, and put it back. It felt so perfect. The ending is, naturally, cheesy, but I'm not one to talk because I've done the same thing a few times. Plus, Cheesecake rules.
It's funny how stories where nothing really happens can still prove to be some of the most interesting ones to read. Absolutely fantastic, I eagerly await your next project.

Glacia- Dream
What's to say? I loved it, that twist at the end was amazing. The whole thing felt... I don't know but there was a quality to this story that made it very hard to stop reading. You built the suspense and ran with it, and it definitely paid off. I don't have a whole lot to really say, this was some real experimental literature and there's not a lot to criticize. It just... worked, and for that you are to be commended.

The Bunker- Huba
I love the Shenkuu joke. That doodle was also a good idea, it ended the comic on a much higher note than it probably would've otherwise. Your text in the first panel was waaaay too small, but your artwork is clean and the text is better further on. Good job.

Razzle Dazzle Episode X- Khestrel
The joke seemed a little unclear, so it just elicited a chuckle rather than a laugh, but that may have a lot more to do with the fact that I'm not familiar with the other nine episodes of Razzle Dazzle. If I go back and reread, and anything changes, I shall inform you posthaste.
And finally, your artwork is very well done. Good job.

Never Give Up!!- Aiya/Tee
Great joke, good art. There were so many ways you could've gone with this joke, but you picked a good one. I was expecting anything from French Fries to some oblique reference to starchy foods. Good work.

[retired]

And now, replies! :

ssjelitegirl said:

The Bunker
Gotta admit that the only part in this comic that actually made me chuckle (which happens rarely these days, so kudos to you x3) was the bonus doodle. But it was a nice comic, with pretty nice art, especially the Peophin summoning the magic and the mist around the house. Gotta point out Hoban's feet though. If he were to stretch that left leg out, it'd be longer than the right one. I've drawn a pose like that, it's extremely tricky >< And while we're at Hoban, the 'on vacation' note felt redundant. But still, a good comic ^^

Yay! I made you chuckle! *shweetness* I love making the bonus section. :3
Thanks, the magic was fun to do. And the mist.
You’re totally right, though, I messed up on the feet. X[ Woopsie.

imogenweasley said:

The Bunker by Huba
It was kind of confusing at first because it's the first comic I read from the series, but then I got what was going on. It looks interesting and promising, and I like the art (especially the magic effects. XD) Doing a bonus was creative and funny. XD

Yeah, that's how it is for me too whenever I miss an episode of a TV show or something. I freak out and go "What?! How'd they get there?!" Then I realize I missed one. -_-' Yay! Liking of my art/magic effects! *hugs a pillow and goes "squee!"* Thanks. ^_^ It took me a while to get it right. I wuv my bonuses. :3 They're my favorite (shh. don't tell the rest of the comic!)

ethan said:

The Bunker
by hubadawaha
Really cute art. I like the frame with hobban in it, hehe. The speech from your characters is well put and extremely funny and I like the expression on the eyrie in the last frame. (I love how you drew the wings). Congrats!

*gladness abounds * More art compliments! :3 I'm so glad that I'm not aweful. XP
*nods* Yeah, I ponder thoroughly on the speech bubbles so they'll sound juuuuuuuust right. Vrilyo's a jerk, but he's fun to draw in his various cranky poses. :3 (Those are his swirly, chibi wings. *___* I adore them.)

amateurwriter said:

The Bunker - Hubadawaha

Shiny magical effects = more brownie points from me. *gets shot by the rest of the artists*

Although it was quite hard to understand the comic without reading the previous one, I got the idea after a while. And the bonus was a nice touch. XDDDD

ooooh soooooooo shiiiiiiny. *__*

*stares at your icon* ‘_’ ………. XD AAAHHH! Haru-chan!!! I love that show!

goosher said:

The Bunker by Hub

I love your comics, Hub! The animation style and cute expressions are so well drawn. And the "Bonus!" is very funny, and perfectly random. Keep up the good work!


Oh, and one more thing: Who's that Chia in the background? Foreshadowing, or space filler?

...........Well.........drawn?............ * squeels and hugs * Thankyouthankyouthankyou! :')

*stops crushing you with Norwegian bear hug, and stares* Oh! You spotted him! Kudos! You're the only one who seems to have noticed him!
He's actually a little of both, since he's in the next comic. ^_^ You'll just have to wait and see, though. ^_'

brains03 said:

[
The Bunker- Huba
I love the Shenkuu joke. That doodle was also a good idea, it ended the comic on a much higher note than it probably would've otherwise. Your text in the first panel was waaaay too small, but your artwork is clean and the text is better further on. Good job.

Thanks! It's much funnier to me when I read it aloud. ^_^ Admittedly, the beginning was a bit small. >_<' (I ran out of room and Kilobytes) Thankfully, I managed to keep everything from pixelating too much.

... wow. This must be my longest post ever!

[Kat]

[shadow=purple,left,300]Shadowflame: The Seeker - Brains

Wow. Your style of writing astounds me to no end. Even though I was rather confused at some parts (which is to be expected, as I didn't read any of the previous installments, being the lazy bum that I am) and sometimes lost track of the flow (again, same reason), you were able to weave a breathtaking tale in around 4000 words or less. And your protagonist was very well-developed and human, and the supporting characters did their part.

Protectors: Shared Dreams - Nut

First off, love the artwork. ^_^ The Dreamer looks pretty.

The transition from dreams to...erm, regularly scheduled programming (what the heck? XD) is pretty good. I like how some parts aren't too elaborately explained, because a little vagueness can add to the color of the story.

Thor's Tales: The Rainbow Pearl - Huntress

Lots of nice artwork in this issue, I see. Anyhow, the transition from the present to the past could be improved - maybe a break could have done the trick. Or maybe I'm just not used to your kind of transition. ^^; I found Thor's plot to be quite simple, but it was still told with the kind of flourish I'd expect from more complex stories.

Glacia - Dream

Wow...I'm amazed at how much your imagination has cooked up for this story. Even though some parts came at me too quickly for my taste, everything fell into place in the end. And I really enjoyed reading about Frozen and Silky's relationship, which you pulled off pretty well.[/shadow]

[Nut]

Short Stories

[glow=blue,2,300]Thor’s Tales: The Rainbow Pearl[/glow]
First off, I love your custom pics. o.o Your art is always great, of course, but I admire you for making the picture stand out and have depth even at that size. And the colors are so nice and bright. *makes mental note to use a brighter palette next time I try making a custom*

This was a really lovely, calming story. It didn’t start out particularly gripping, but as soon as the flashback started I was completely interested. The sailor’s exclamation about their captain drew me in, and from there it was fun just to see Thor’s thoughts as he scoffed at the others on the boat.

“Let’s aim for these stars,” the captain’s voice replied. “They may lead us to some new undiscovered land.”
“Dreamer,” Thor grunted before getting back to sleep.

Heh, when I read this I thought of the Dreamer constellation. Blame my story. XP

I enjoyed watching him find the hollowed-out book. There’s something really soothing about him finding the treasure and leaving it behind. It’s true, not every rare magical artifact has to be an epic adventure.

Thor’s tale itself, I thought, was very well done and enjoyable. However, the parts leading up to and out of it weren’t quite as interesting. I know it’s tough to write those kinds of scenes in a way that makes them fun to read, and if it’d been me I probably would have taken the easy way out and just left them off. >> But nevertheless, a really nice story. Will we see more of Thor’s Tales? :3

[glow=blue,2,300]Shadowflame: The Seeker[/glow]
New Shadowflame! :3 Ohh, interesting development here. This story really feels like the beginning of a bigger adventure, and I can’t wait to see what you have planned for it. (Was this, by any chance, the series that you had to split up?) I was a little nervous at first when Shadow agreed to help the Grey, but I was relieved when she turned around and made her own plans to get her way, as fits her character.

I actually wasn’t aware of Shadow’s connection with this family of pets—I suppose I missed something, as usual—but the letter was quite lovely and I enjoyed watching Shadow’s emotions as she stared around the wrecked house. Your heroine feels real. It’s a shame she doesn’t have her trademark sword anymore, and I do hope the Grey don’t try to use it to their own advantage. Then again, they’re not Shoyrus, so going by official Battledome rules, they couldn’t. And judging by Daedra’s comments, they don’t like Shoyrus…?

I will agree with Wolf that the note at the beginning didn’t seem necessary. Quite a bit of the story here was new to me as well, and what wasn’t was explained as it went on.

The battle scene at the end was gorgeously done. I don’t feel that the story has really ended here, and have this lingering feeling that there has to be more. In short, I want more. ^^ Well done.

[glow=blue,2,300]Glacia[/glow]
Wow… what a beautiful story. It was so creative, and the emotions and relationships you portray here feel so real and natural. Silky and Frozen were so well portrayed, making that last moment all the more bittersweet. I especially liked the helpless little creatures’ dependency on Frozen. That was sweet, and the way he treated them… aww. I’m just not sure what the creatures actually were. At first I thought they were Scamanders (don’t ask me why), then Snowickles, but now I begin to think they were Neopets.

I’m afraid I can’t comment on the twist at the end. *rueful* I wish I hadn’t seen the previous image for this when I was previewing my own story last week. It was a very creative way to show his origins, though, and I do wonder where that safe place is where all the rest of his kind are living. The idea of a sort of ice age on Neopia was quite interesting. All in all, a beautiful story, full of very real feelings.

[Nut]

brains03 said:

Protectors: Shared Dreams- Nut
Let's not beat around the bush- I honestly would've believed that your custom was TNT's work, if it wasn't for the note. I felt the same way about your Lucky Cake pic- your art feels very well-drawn and professional.
I had no idea that this was actually a sequel until I read your post regarding the subject. While this shows that your work stands well on its own, I would perhaps suggest appending a note at the beginning. Just to clarify it, and all.
I enjoyed this story very thoroughly, you set up the story very well and the transition between dreams was very, very smooth. I may have to go back and relearn some of my Altadorian lore and reread it just to make sure I completely understood it, but it would be well worth the time. Top notch work.
Also, when she wakes up from the second dream during the council meeting, I don't know who actually says "The Dreamer sleeps!" but I loved that line so much; it felt like a very honest thing to say. IT's as though King Altador is very amused that she would fall asleep, and he's having some fun with it, or something like that.

Thanks so much for the long review, Brains! ^^ I'm very flattered that you think my art could be TNT's work. :3 I did use TNT's art for reference on it, though. The clouds in particular are heavily based on the actual clouds in the Dreamer clue in the plot.

I'm really glad you liked it. And I'm glad you enjoyed that line, too. ^^ To be honest I didn't think much of it when I wrote it; it just seemed natural. Maybe that's why it came across that way.

Hrm, author's note. Might this be a stylistic preference? I have always made an effort not to put author's notes in my stories, because I think it distracts from either the opening or the ending depending on where the note is placed--which is a no-win situation because it sure can't go in the middle. Since I don't think it's necessary to have read The Sleeper to understand this story or even get much more insight into it, I don't want to turn off readers by telling them to go dig up some old story and read it first. :/ I'll keep the suggestion in mind, but no promises on carrying it out. ^^;

And as for Altador lore, I deviate from it a bit in that my Sleeper has been holed up in a tomb for some thousand years, while the official one was stuck as a statue at the bottom of the sea. So, my version of the story isn't quite perfect. ^^;

amateurwriter said:

Protectors: Shared Dreams - Nut

First off, love the artwork. ^_^ The Dreamer looks pretty.

The transition from dreams to...erm, regularly scheduled programming (what the heck? XD) is pretty good. I like how some parts aren't too elaborately explained, because a little vagueness can add to the color of the story.

I'm glad so many people seem to like my art. ^_^ Thanks.

Regularly scheduled programming... XD I'm glad the vagueness worked for you. ^^ Thanks for the review!

[Huntress]

Eeee, thanks for all the reviews, guys ^___^ I'll try and get around to do some more reviews of my own this week. Promise.

micrody said:

On a mechanical note, though, when you make a quote inside another quote, you're supposed to use single quotation marks, like this: "So she told me, 'blah blah blah,' and expected me to care." See? lol. Anyways, I still really enjoyed your story..

*grim nod* I wrote this story a year ago and we studied the correct use of quotation marks hrm, some two weeks ago. Gotta love being a foreigner. But thanks for pointing that out, I'll keep that in mind ^^

amateurwriter said:

[shadow=purple,left,300]Lots of nice artwork in this issue, I see. Anyhow, the transition from the present to the past could be improved - maybe a break could have done the trick. Or maybe I'm just not used to your kind of transition. ^^; I found Thor's plot to be quite simple, but it was still told with the kind of flourish I'd expect from more complex stories.[/shadow]

nut said:

Thor’s tale itself, I thought, was very well done and enjoyable. However, the parts leading up to and out of it weren’t quite as interesting. I know it’s tough to write those kinds of scenes in a way that makes them fun to read, and if it’d been me I probably would have taken the easy way out and just left them off. >> But nevertheless, a really nice story. Will we see more of Thor’s Tales? :3

Yah, I slacked off with the intro and outro >< They never felt quite right and I didn't want to stretch them too much and didn't have many ideas and so it went. Boo me. But yesh, I'm planning to turn this into a series of short stories and another one is infact already done, just waiting for me to draw a custom for it =3

[Brains]

You guys are the greatest reviewers a nerd could ever have!

No let's see some replies!

micrody said:

In my opinion, the introduction was not needed. I have read Prisoner and Snowfall, and I feel neither was necessary to be able to understand this; in fact, I think this was a perfect time for new readers to come in, as things were adequately explained as the story went on and, thus, prior knowledge of Shadow seemed unnecessary to me.

nut said:

I will agree with Wolf that the note at the beginning didn’t seem necessary. Quite a bit of the story here was new to me as well, and what wasn’t was explained as it went on.

Fair enough, fair enough. Perhaps I will not be as quick to put an author's letter next time. We shall see how events play out for the next one, depending on whether or not I can squeeze an accurate amount of plot recap into the story from my tight-as-it-is word count.

micrody said:

I think your opening could have been better, though, for although you gave a great scene to enter the story with, there wasn't much of a hook to really grab the reader

I can definitely see where you're coming from on this one. For this one, which is actually very dark in theme, I felt it would be prudent to open with something a bit more peaceful than the last two Shadowflames have. But you're right perhaps a hook... Well the next one certainly has one of those, I think.

micrody said:

and some of the earlier descriptions seemed unnecessary as well

How so? And also, which ones? I was trying very hard to paint a picture for the reader, I'm interested to know what worked and what didn't.

nut said:

Was this, by any chance, the series that you had to split up?

It sure was! You actually got what would've been two weeks of material, compressed into a delicious single story. The next part is almost long as these two combined. Almost.

nut said:

I actually wasn’t aware of Shadow’s connection with this family of pets—I suppose I missed something, as usual

You missed nothing. I foreshadowed it lightly in the first two, perhaps not as heavy as I should've, but the family was meant to be the first plot twist in a string of several. I was hoping it would come off stronger, but more than anything these people are the reason Shadow hunts for treasure.

nut said:

It’s a shame she doesn’t have her trademark sword anymore, and I do hope the Grey don’t try to use it to their own advantage.

I'm smiling now.

nut said:

And judging by Daedra’s comments, they don’t like Shoyrus…?

Her comment regarding Shoyrus is actually central to her. It has a lot to do with her crusade for equality, and a certain person who won't acquiesce to her requests..

nut said:

The battle scene at the end was gorgeously done. I don’t feel that the story has really ended here, and have this lingering feeling that there has to be more. In short, I want more. ^^ Well done.

micrody said:

(as the the letter itself, too; I liked that). The dialogue seemed real, though it did get confusing (but that confusion felt real, too, as if I truly were listening in on a conversation) and the battle scene towards the end was just awesomely executed.

This one "part" seemed almost to introduce the mission, so I definitely look forward to more.

amateurwriter said:

Wow. Your style of writing astounds me to no end. Even though I was rather confused at some parts (which is to be expected, as I didn't read any of the previous installments, being the lazy bum that I am) and sometimes lost track of the flow (again, same reason), you were able to weave a breathtaking tale in around 4000 words or less. And your protagonist was very well-developed and human, and the supporting characters did their part.

I am unbelievably glad you enjoyed it. You have no idea how glad.

To the major concerns:

-The Letter: You all responded favourably to the letter. I'm a bit surprised, I wasn't sure it was going to fly that well in context.

-Confusion and Loss of Flow: Most, if not all of you, mentioned getting confused. Even if you felt it was okay, I'm a little concerned. Is the writing too hard to follow? Because that is easily fixed with 20 minutes and some copy editting. I hope.

-The Final Battle: I tried so hard to end a story I felt was mostly exposition with some excitement. I felt it was too short, but given my space I'm ecstatic you enjoyed it.

-The First Part: You're all absolutely right. This ain't some sissy self-contained story, we have us a real honest-to-goodness story arc going here! Comprised of episodic content, of course. Of course, that isn't to say self-contained stories are sissy, it's just a joke- really.

THANKS FOR ALL YOUR REVIEWS! Give all of yourselves pats on the back, you've made my day.

[Deleted]

I'm glad I made your day, Brains. ^_^

What I had meant about the unnecessary description earlier on may be considered merely my preferences only, I'm not sure. See, you painted a wonderful picture, but to me it seemed you did it too much, and it almost began feeling like I was reading still life. It was a great image, but that image was just an image to me, thus I felt some of the description was unnecessary and could have been shortened to help move the picture.

As well, what was I confused about? The conversation Shadow was listening in on, because the descriptions of who was speaking were vague, and it wasn't always made clear who was saying what and when, and sometimes I misunderstood that. But, like I said, as she was eavesdropping, it felt real because if I were eavesdropping, things would, naturally, be somewhat confusing as well.

I hope this has helped.

[sarahleeadvent]

Shadowflame: The Seeker by Brains

Having a bit more time than usual lately, a weakness for kick-butt girl characters, and a persistent sense of curiosity, I finally raised the white flag and obeyed a nagging impulse to read the three more recent Shadowflame stories.

Shadow is definitely one of the better characters I've read; dark, bold, enigmatic, wild, and displaying a very nice mix of strength and hidden vulnerability... actually, she reminds me a bit of Tenultra. I really liked the latest development with the kids and Shadow's reason for treasure hunting, and I greatly look forward to the next story. The other two stories, while entertaining and well written, lacked some of the substance and emotional depth that this previously hidden side of Shadow brought into the saga; but the new high stakes and the revelation of Shadow's guardianship and responsibility toward someone other than herself added whole new dimensions to the tale, and transformed a casually glanced at, I-guess-I-might-as-well-read-it saga into one I can very genuinely get into. All in all, wonderfully done.

[Brains]

More replies for the ever-appreciated reviewers!

sarahleeadvent said:

Shadow is definitely one of the better characters I've read; dark, bold, enigmatic, wild, and displaying a very nice mix of strength and hidden vulnerability... actually, she reminds me a bit of Tenultra.

Ah, well plugged. Now I have to go read your story to understand the comparison ;D No worries, I've been a victim of that so-called 'nagging' feeling myself regarding your story, so this may just be the prompting I needed.

Thanks much for the compliments though- Just don't tell Shadow she's got any hidden vulnerability or you may find yourself on the wrong end of a pointy weapon.

sarahleeadvent said:

I really liked the latest development with the kids and Shadow's reason for treasure hunting, and I greatly look forward to the next story. The other two stories, while entertaining and well written, lacked some of the substance and emotional depth that this previously hidden side of Shadow brought into the saga; but the new high stakes and the revelation of Shadow's guardianship and responsibility toward someone other than herself added whole new dimensions to the tale, and transformed a casually glanced at, I-guess-I-might-as-well-read-it saga into one I can very genuinely get into.

/blush

I'm so very glad you enjoyed the plot twist, I labored very hard to keep that a secret leading up to the publication when I really wanted to just shout it out. Shadow's character is much less shallow in the new 'reboot' of the franchise, and I'm glad it's coming across so well.

Although, if you think the stakes are high here... well, I guess I'll just end by implying there's a lot of questions left unanswered right now that might go raising some flags when you think about it for a bit.

I sincerely appreciate your review!

micrody said:

See, you painted a wonderful picture, but to me it seemed you did it too much, and it almost began feeling like I was reading still life. It was a great image, but that image was just an image to me, thus I felt some of the description was unnecessary and could have been shortened to help move the picture.

I have to agree with you, I think I overdid the description and it bogged down the flow to some degree. I'll keep that in mind as I continue working on these stories.

micrody said:

As well, what was I confused about? The conversation Shadow was listening in on, because the descriptions of who was speaking were vague, and it wasn't always made clear who was saying what and when, and sometimes I misunderstood that. But, like I said, as she was eavesdropping, it felt real because if I were eavesdropping, things would, naturally, be somewhat confusing as well.

That was a very lucky accident on my part indeed. Perhaps I will be more careful on the next one, because while you got it doesn't mean others did.

Thanks Wolf, for your timely and honest responses. They helped a great deal.

[Belle]

Just dropped by to do some quick reviews.

Article Review

The Truth About the Talisman by ethan_redshaw & gliderames

I read this earlier this week but only got around to writing a review now. First of all, even without your being NTWFers, your article had already caught my eye. Maybe it was because of your topic. I did think I knew some things about the Lutari beads but I also knew there was a lot I didn't know. So immediately thought, hey, this article could be helpful. ^_^

And it was. What a lovely writing style. You guys were informative and entertaining. You had me grinning at some points. I like the way you organized and developed your article and the little Q&A portion was just a brilliant addition.

Your article also pushed me into looking up Lutari beads in the Trading Post, which I was never tempted to do before. XD I don't think there's anything else I want to say. I loved your article.

[Tashni]

Shadowflame by Brains - Okay, so I've been meaning to read all of the Shadowflame stories for some time now, and I have read them all! Quick note on the first two: loved 'em. There was definitely some Indiana Jones type stuff, but by no means is Shadowflame a rip-off or "Neo version" of something else. Now, onto Shadowflame: The Seeker.

First off, I think your writing has improved. I found it very easy to read and follow, and pleasant to the ear. Your beginning was VERY slow, I think it barely captured the reader's attention. If I'd been skimming through the NT, I probably would have read the first paragraph or two and said, "Nevermind. On to the next!" So, while I enjoyed the moment of quiet contemplation, that was only because I know Shadowflame and am looking forward to her next adventure. So next time, try to speed up the beginning. I don't mean the first sentence has to be, "her life hung in the balance!" Just something to get me interested. The reflection about giving up the Dewdrop might have been a good place to start, because now I want to know what the Dewdrop is and why she gave it up. I also want to know about her, because she's a treasure hunter, and yet she's selfless.

I really became absorbed when we are introduced to the fact that Shadow has a family to look after. This is a side to her I did not expect to see, and now I am rooting for her more than ever!

I really liked the character of Daedra. She added unexpected death to the villainous the Grey.

And seriously, you should have made this is a series! I'm surprised you got away with a cliffhanger like that. When's the next one coming out?

And Brains, this is far and away your best Shadowflame yet.

[ethan]

ladyariel32 said:

Article Review

The Truth About the Talisman by ethan_redshaw & gliderames

I read this earlier this week but only got around to writing a review now. First of all, even without your being NTWFers, your article had already caught my eye. Maybe it was because of your topic. I did think I knew some things about the Lutari beads but I also knew there was a lot I didn't know. So immediately thought, hey, this article could be helpful. ^_^

And it was. What a lovely writing style. You guys were informative and entertaining. You had me grinning at some points. I like the way you organized and developed your article and the little Q&A portion was just a brilliant addition.

Your article also pushed me into looking up Lutari beads in the Trading Post, which I was never tempted to do before. XD I don't think there's anything else I want to say. I loved your article.

Wow!

Thanks so much. Thank you to everyone else who reviewed our article also. I haven't been on much lately to reply because the last few weeks of school have been tied down with assignments and exams, but thanks all the same! If I get time before the end of this week, I'll certainly try to review as many of the short stories and continued series as I can.

*scuttles off*