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Post by Belle on Mar 29, 2007 2:52:45 GMT -5
Short Story ReviewShadowflame: The Seeker by brains03. First of all, I have to apologize because I didn't read the other two short stories before reading this one. ^^; That said, I think I understood the plot well despite not having read the previous stories. Shadow is a very likeable protagonist and you sure developed her personality well. I could really relate to her and had no trouble getting hooked into the story after I got a glimpse into her mind. Most of the minor characters were well-developed as well despite how short their parts are in the story. I could pretty much gauge their personalities and had me symphatizing with them (e.g. Niobe's character just through the letter). I especially liked Daedra's character. As for the plot, I was really intrigued by the storyline. Like some of the others have already mentioned, I got kind of dragged down by the descriptions in the introduction. Don't get me wrong. The imagery was actually done very well.  I guess I just didn't feel like it was the best way to plunge into this story. One of the few things that confused me was the long conversation that Shadow was eavesdropping on. I have no idea if these characters have already been introduced in past stories so maybe it's just me but I couldn't quite follow what they were talking about in the beginning. ^^; My favorite part in the story is from Daedra's and Shadow's fight until the last line (I really liked that last line). You really had me symphatizing with both of their characters there. Especially Daedra. All in all, a well-written story. I like your writing style, Brains. 
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Post by sarahleeadvent on Mar 29, 2007 2:56:23 GMT -5
Shoulder Angel: Sarah, stop staying on the computer so long. It's bad for your eyes.
Sarah: But this story looked interesting!
Glacia
I found this story to be a very interesting, original, and touching take on the Snowager, one I never saw coming but that, at the same time, was plausible and enjoyable. The Neopets' dependence on Frozenstars was heartwarming, as was his friendship with Silksilver. The whole thing was very descriptively written, and your style really drew me into the story. I felt sorry for the Neopets Frozen was trying to save, and that certainly had a hand in capturing my interest. *Is a sucker for the underdog*
The one thing I should point out (whether it should be called a problem or not is a matter of opinion) is how you tend to put a dash in words like no-one instead of writing them as two separate words. Maybe it's because I'm not used to that, but it made those spots seem slightly choppy to me.
All in all, though, it was a very creative take on the origins of Neopia, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. You really ought to write a sequel or something- the Neopets getting an opportunity to give something back, to throw out a random idea.
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Post by Belle on Mar 29, 2007 3:33:54 GMT -5
Short Story Review Protectors: Shared Dreams by nut862. This is turning into a habit but Nut, awesome custom picture! Really, I think you've outdone yourself this time. With every entry, your art looks even more like official Neopets art. Do you do requests?  *cough cough* Moving on to the real review... Another brilliant short story. What I like about your writing is that you give a lot of detailed descriptions without making your story less dynamic. I know you like the Altador plot a lot and I just knew you were going to continue writing about this. XD Nice work with characterization. I'm not really a big fan of Psellia's, if you know what I mean, so consider it a compliment when I say you made me care about her in your story. The dreams are interspersed well with the other parts of the story. And I really loved how you sustained the heavy doom-is-on-its-way mood all throughout the story. I also quite enjoyed the character of Rochesser. The use of the line "The Sleeper is awake, I presume?" in the beginning was, I thought, just perfect. I was wondering, though, if I'm right in thinking that it has two meanings. Rochesser was cleverly using the Sleeper's name in jest (suggesting complacency when it comes to the Dark Faerie) to refer to Psellia who has just awakened. Or do I have it wrong? Anyway, a nicely written story, over all. I enjoyed reading it very much. Although there was one thing that irked me... Oho! So she's part of the reason why I couldn't finish that Water Plant step in the plot!
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Post by Tashni on Mar 29, 2007 11:24:29 GMT -5
Thor's Tales: The Rainbow Pearl by Hunty - I really loved how you started this story. I got a the real feeling of a drowsy, hot day. The way you introduced Thor was great, too. I enjoyed the story very much, although I was really let down by the ending. I was hoping SOMETHING exciting would happen. I understand the point you wanted to make, but it may have been more effective if Thor spent a little time thinking like a pirate, about what he could do with the pearl, and THEN decide he didn't want it. Anyway, overall, I liked the story and LOVED Thor's character. I really hope to see more of Thor's Tales in the future!
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Post by Nimras on Mar 29, 2007 12:09:25 GMT -5
The Truth About the Talisman
by ethan_redshaw and gliderames
…Yep, that sounds like just about every day that I procrastinate on my homework by playing Neopets.
Not owning a cell phone (let alone a Cingular one), I do my best to try to pretend Lutari Island doesn’t exist (yes, I’m grumpy and don’t like admitting there’s places I can’t get to.)
The beads sound pretty cool in theory, but having to buy them all means the chances of me actually making a profit from their bonuses are pretty small. Knowing my luck, it would just induce more pant devil attacks when I’ve got a good item in my inventory.
All in all, the article’s pretty good for those who can use it… but those people probably aren’t in the majority.
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Post by Nut on Mar 29, 2007 15:16:35 GMT -5
Short Story Review Protectors: Shared Dreams by nut862. This is turning into a habit but Nut, awesome custom picture! Really, I think you've outdone yourself this time. With every entry, your art looks even more like official Neopets art. Do you do requests? I don't usually do normal art requests but I'd love a chance to practice making custom pics. *cough cough* Moving on to the real review... Another brilliant short story. What I like about your writing is that you give a lot of detailed descriptions without making your story less dynamic. I know you like the Altador plot a lot and I just knew you were going to continue writing about this. XD Ehehe, I'm just amazed it took me so long. XD I'm glad you think my descriptions work at a good pace. Nice work with characterization. I'm not really a big fan of Psellia's, if you know what I mean, so consider it a compliment when I say you made me care about her in your story. The dreams are interspersed well with the other parts of the story. And I really loved how you sustained the heavy doom-is-on-its-way mood all throughout the story. I also quite enjoyed the character of Rochesser. I'm glad I got you to feel a little sympathy for Psellia. XD It's not easy catching falling pets all the time... And I'm glad you like Rochesser. ^^ He just kind of popped into the story and seemed to fit. I'm not sure what roles he'll play in the future, but I like him too so I'll probably use him again. Besides, I like Faerie Meercas. XP The use of the line "The Sleeper is awake, I presume?" in the beginning was, I thought, just perfect. I was wondering, though, if I'm right in thinking that it has two meanings. Rochesser was cleverly using the Sleeper's name in jest (suggesting complacency when it comes to the Dark Faerie) to refer to Psellia who has just awakened. Or do I have it wrong? I'm glad you like the line. ^^ Yes, Rochesser was joking with Psellia and had no idea what she had just dreamed. Anyway, a nicely written story, over all. I enjoyed reading it very much. Although there was one thing that irked me... Oho! So she's part of the reason why I couldn't finish that Water Plant step in the plot! XD I thought of you while I was writing that, actually. |
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Post by Nimras on Mar 29, 2007 17:19:28 GMT -5
Shadowflame: The Seeker by brains03 It opens with a bathing scene… ;D The whole, “this means war” made Bugs Bunny’s voice ring in my ears. *snickerfits* Are you saying you don’t like Spooky Foods special… spices? …It doesn’t end. That would have made an awesome opening chapter for a series, but for a short story I think a lot of people won’t read the next one -- simply because they’ll have to go read another (three) stories first. Color me jaded, but I think many are far too lazy for that. |
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Post by Nimras on Mar 29, 2007 17:28:20 GMT -5
Protectors: Shared Dreams
by nut862
Psellia! My favorite Air Faerie. *grin*
*snicker*
I like how Psellia had to keep correcting herself on how many protectors there were -- like her memory was already starting to get confused before The Sleeper escaped.
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Post by Nimras on Mar 29, 2007 18:07:08 GMT -5
Thor's Tales: The Rainbow Pearl by ssjelitegirl Completely off topic, I wish they had an Uni color that looked like a Norwegian Fjord… I think of one every time I see the name Thor. Aww, you need to write more about Thor -- and not necessarily the Thor as of now, but the Thor as of then. Hehehe, you know, the young, inexperienced, prone to panicking Thor.  For some reason, this story felt a little … flatter… than usual with its characters. *frowns* It’s hard to explain, but it just wasn’t quite as alive. Though now you did make me really want some cheesecake. Mmmm… |
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Post by Nimras on Mar 29, 2007 18:19:15 GMT -5
Glacia
by rainbow_daydreamer
Awww…. That’s horrible.
I love your explanation for where the Snowager came from, and why it seems to be the only one of its kind. Though I confess that the first half of your story drove me nuts trying to figure out what Frozenstars and his kind were. I was figuring a whole colony of ice colored pets… *grin* Oh well.
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Post by Nimras on Mar 29, 2007 18:35:48 GMT -5
Pointless Nonsense - Games Room by petfriendamy Whoa, the colors… @_@ Hehehe, that’s a good question, where did they go. Why Some Neopians Don't Make... by imogenweasley and fairynotes *snicker* Very cute joke. I love how expressive Tiki’s mask is. The Bunker by hubadawaha The best part of this joke was the *Meanwhile-- in Shenkuu* segment. Probably because I use that line (well, except I use China) on my littlest sister all the time. Um… Why does the Peophin go from being naked, to in robes, to naked again? I love the swirly smoke around the house when she fixes it. Prettyfull… Razzle Dazzle - Episode X by khestrel *snickerfits at the “gloomy blue brute” tag* And I love Razz’s expression after Elle sticks her tongue out at him. Never Give Up!! by aiyakhiori Sloth… armed with potatoes. Eep, that’s a scary thought. Proof that I must cut up, season, and fry more hashbrowns! Muahahaha! *coughhackcough* |
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Post by Nimras on Mar 29, 2007 18:54:54 GMT -5
Another Hero's Journey: Part Eleven
by precious_katuch14
Rueben fights dirty. ;D
Would now be the wrong time to start demanding blood, violence, and gore? *innocent face*
Awww… Poor Rueben, Ruben, and Andrea.
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Post by Nimras on Mar 29, 2007 19:02:32 GMT -5
Legend Seekers: Mysterious Magic - Part Ten by yatomiyuka Awww… Pemero’s being emo. That made me snort tea out my nose… Just the idea of someone purposely throwing themselves into a volcano to see how far they could push Fyora patience… Aww, and happy ending for Jen… though I confess her ending has more appeal to me than Pemero’s. |
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Post by Nimras on Mar 29, 2007 19:11:01 GMT -5
Catching Up: Part Seven by extreme_fj0rd I like the parts where you’re just in Evea’s head, seeing her plot how things should go. Sometime’s it’s hard to tell if this is the story of six girls though the eyes of their teacher, or the story of the teacher, through the eyes of six girls. Aww, poor Patricia. I hope she that all worked though… |
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Post by Nimras on Mar 29, 2007 19:20:52 GMT -5
The Mirror of Memories: Part Nine
by sytra
“Sepra’s” just getting herself in to deeper and deeper trouble isn’t she. *headdesk* At least she finally came clean about her name… Though she’s really not managing to explain where Kin came from and why he’s stuck with her.
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I guess I just didn't feel like it was the best way to plunge into this story. 
