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Post by Tyrannitar Again on Aug 31, 2007 21:37:18 GMT -5
Oh, and on a side note, this was my 10th entry on my new account, plus I got a pretty nice custom pic. ^^;;
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Post by Tk ∆ on Aug 31, 2007 22:04:57 GMT -5
Without Friends------- It's so sweet ^^ I loved reading this so much. It was ssooo /kidding/. It really kept me thinking, I wondering which one was real, and which was not. Captain Cappuccino and Miss Mocha -------- XD Brilliant! I had fun reading this. It's nutty and awesome^^ (Not Just Any) Day At The Park ------ It started a bit slow in my opinion. But it had a pretty nice story line. I liked all the mischief that was pulled XD. I Faaaaaaaaaaaillll at writing reviews, well, I've never actually WRITTEN any before so ![:-/](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/undecided.png) ... I'll get better once I've been in school for a bit and can actually analyze... (I've seen the word analyze so much this weekXD)... writing
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Post by shamboo5 on Sept 1, 2007 0:13:09 GMT -5
I'm in too - Petey and the Word Search Puzzle (article)
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Post by Tashni on Sept 1, 2007 0:38:55 GMT -5
Wow, there are lots of new NTWFers this week! Welcome!
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Post by Dimi on Sept 1, 2007 1:42:36 GMT -5
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Post by Tashni on Sept 1, 2007 1:58:02 GMT -5
Good grief I missed a lot of people!
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Tyrannitar is Internetless
Guest
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Post by Tyrannitar is Internetless on Sept 1, 2007 3:47:02 GMT -5
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Post by Patjade on Sept 1, 2007 4:50:10 GMT -5
fuzzy_wuzzy210 has two articles in the times but doesn't shop up if you search on Neopets (in the NT it says those two articles, namely "A Wonderful Guide to a Wonderful Petpet" and "The What Not to Do List", ar his/her only ones), it says the name doesn't exist. Just wanted to point that out. I wonder what happened. I was checking out the newly published and found the account was disabled (Frozen).
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Post by liger on Sept 1, 2007 5:33:55 GMT -5
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Post by bag on Sept 1, 2007 6:57:14 GMT -5
A Wonderful Guide to a Wonderful Petpet by fuzzy_wuzzy210:
You should've titled the article appropriately: It was more about harris colors than harrises themselves. The opening paragraph should also be changed because it seems more like, again, you're going to be talking about actual harrises than harris colors. As for the rest of the article though, it was cute and fuzzy and I liked that. X3
Petey and the Word Search Puzzle by shamboo5:
I'm confused. Is this an article or a short story? :S I can't really give it a proper review until someone sets me straight on this.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 1, 2007 7:03:33 GMT -5
(I'll edit this post as I do more reviews, not a lot of time today) Short StoriesCaptain Cappuccino and Miss Mochaby playmobil_is_my_life Mr. Lynch held up his Styrofoam cup to toast us. I nodded in agreement and faced forward.Ohh, poor playmobil! ![:(](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/sad.png) I know that must be incredibly frustrating, finding these mistakes, but let me assure you that they in no way detract from the charm of this incredible story! ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/smiley.png) I loved it! I thought that the charcters were all very well described, despite the fact that many of them were introduced very quickly -- great job! I fell in love with our main character immediately, and the story captivated me the whole way through. The way the story moved along was flawless, and you really created the atmosphere of the shop perfectly. There were parts that actually made me chuckle out loud (very rare while reading!) and it was overall a very endearing short story. I wish I could read things like this more often. ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/smiley.png) Thanks so very much, Craig. I really appreciate your review! ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/smiley.png) I'm still thwapping myself over the "I" though. Aaaagh, how in the world can a person and her proofreader miss something like that? D: lol.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 1, 2007 7:41:11 GMT -5
Thank you so much! Well, my pets do have a kind of warped sense of humor, but still, we all love each other. It's like one big dysfunctional family! Ehm, thanks again, especially for the sense of humor part, but I still can't win the caption competition...*wonders why*
I agree with the slow part totally; I don't know why, but my starts are ALL slow these days. Either way, thanks for the mischief comment. I kind of drew on my experience as a camp counselor on that one, and all the mischief my three-year-old kids would pull in the situation. Which would probably have been worse than my pets. Thank you so much for the review!
{Reviews to come in next post}
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Post by Deleted on Sept 1, 2007 8:33:16 GMT -5
{Reviews} Take note that I have never done this before. Not much anyway.
Short Stories
Without Friends by undeadfortune
Great story, I must say! My favorite part was definitely when Idris has the talk with the Grundo Chef. It's kind of creepy, but it's very cool at the same time. The characters were developed very well, and I love how everything comes into play near the end. I love the description of the Space Station, and how Idris passes people two or three times. The only thing that bugged me was that the end was a bit confusing. Other than that, it was superb!
Captain Cappuccion and Miss Mocha by playmobil_is_my_life
Another great story! Just like others said before, the story actually made me laugh out loud in some parts! It was really funny, but I was amazed at how you were able to keep your style while writing humorously. When I write for laughs, my writing isn't as flowing as yours was. It's like you combined good writing with humor, a feat which is quite difficult to achieve. I'd have to say that my favorite part was with the coffee stirrer. Such a disaster! I'm very glad that CC was able to avert it. As the Mynci says, "He's one straaaaaaange dude." Great job!
New Series
The Partnership: Part One by pandabearb
It's really good. At first, I avoided it because I thought it was going to be another one of those stuck-up secret agents doing a dangerous mission, but when I got to reading it, I really liked it, and I can't wait for the next part. The personalities of the characters are so spot-on, I'm amazed. Kataok's dislike of Scout is totally right, or thinking she's a burden. I know it's kind of cliche, but the way you did it made it seem real. Scout wasn't dettered easily either, a persistence that holds true in most children! This is definitely going to be character-driven, I can tell, and I really like it so far! Awesome!
Continued Series
Flight: Part Two
*eyes become stars* I love this series! You caught me from the first part, and I couldn't wait to read the second. And now it's here! Woohoo! One thing I would say is great about this series is poor Lo. I mean, I was ready to break down and cry when Lo was yelled at by her mother. So unfair! I'm really glad that she moved to Altador. Your writing style is great as well, because it really enfuses Lo's tone. It's much easier to write as if you are standing by, rather than to enfuse a particular style into it. But you pulled it off, and the results are nothing short of brilliant! My favorite part is Lo's conversation with Khai, but that's just me. Overall it's amazing, and I can't wait for the next part!
{more will be added when I read others and want to review them}
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Post by Huntress on Sept 1, 2007 15:46:06 GMT -5
Grargh, how come I made so many stupid spelling mistakes in this S&S series part? x.x Boo.
Reggie, thanks for the review ^^ Yeah, I think the story gets interesting at around part 5 or so. Most of the stuff before that is introductive. And I agree about the kinda-rushed part, though with Artus it was almost intentional - there's more to him than meets the eye, so I had to describe him shallowly here.
...it gets better, I promise x'D Rereading the first parts has been pretty much a pain.
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Post by puffydude on Sept 1, 2007 16:59:31 GMT -5
I'm sorry to say this, but I don't think psychopsam is in the NTWF. Psycho is psychotic_dancer. Unless she's someone else. In which case, please carry on and I'm sorry for interrupting ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/smiley.png)
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