263 Reviews

[Psycho]

ARTICLES

Ahnnilator's Guide to the Deserted Fairground by cyneo_masters2

SHORT STORIES

A Royal Halloween by dark_goddess_rising

Tales From Cabin Eight: The Halloween Away From Home by dan4884

The Korbat from Krawk Island by myfallenrevival4

Halloween Marathon Also by dreagoddess by schefflera

Night of Freedom by silent_snow ?

Never Too Old for Halloween by precious_katuch14

Hubrid's Halloween by mygoodguild

Hide and Seek Also by tnumfive by velveteen

The Scaredy Yurble Also by undeadfortune by phsycoticdancer

Trick-or-Scream! by blubblub317

Bitten by Darkness by nut862

COMICS

A Spooky Halloween, pt 4 by ghostkomorichu

Being Eliv Thade Art by tristess by autoc007

The Collar by ssjelitegirl

Flapdoodle: Trick Or Treat! by obviousfakename ?

Neopups Halloween by coshi_dragonite ?

Darkest Corner: Independence by dark_elfa

Life Improvised by keng200

NEW SERIES

Chronicles of the Court Rogue: Instincts - Part One by nimras23

Aubrise and the Gebmid Mystery: Part One by rookina

SERIES CONT'D

Needed Adventure: Part Ten by tdyans

What Lies Hidden in Your Closet: Part Four by puppy200010

Rising Shadow: Part Three by sarahleeadvent

At the AstroVilla: Part Four by kemppotatoe

Starlight Invasion: Keeping Secrets - Part Three by rainbow_daydreamer

Dark Fate: Part Two by yatomiyuka


Sorry if I missed you; just means I didnt' recognize your neo username. I'll be sure to add you upon my return Monday afternoon.

HERE'S THE DEAL - you don't get reviews from me unless you review my piece Fortune might review though. He's nicer (and apparently has more time) than I am (do).

(ps - Fortune and I had to take out a couple juicy tidbits from our piece because they were too violent - if you'd like to read the original version, there is a link to it on my userlookup: phsycoticdancer)

[Dan]

A Royal Halloween by Demon

Good story! Different from the normal ghost story, it’s refreshing. ^^ I liked the Skeith’s character. I caught a few errors, but they were minor things. No big deal. A small bit of criticism was that you started using the names of the characters without telling us which was which. I was a bit confused about who was Demon until I realized it was you. XD Nevertheless, the writing was nice and it was a good, rounded story.

Halloween Marathon by Schefflera and Dreagoddess

Cool idea! Another refreshing change from the normal Halloween story. It was a bit long for my taste, but it went fairly quickly, so it wasn’t too bad. It was very well-written and I liked the little vignettes of each world, especially Darigan’s. However, I was confused why Darigan had to go to Meridell and why Sandra had to help. o_0 Just a minor confusion. I really liked when Daniel called her Cass and compared her to Kass. Genius, I thought. ^^ Good job.

Never Too Old for Halloween by Kat

Aw, sweet story about Sweet. XD Good premise. I can definitely relate. It was well-written, and once again, different from the norm. I liked the Ruki who changed costumes a lot. I also think that Sweet was a very believable character. His thoughts and decisions were very plausible. Like I said, I can relate. Good job!

The Scaredy Yurble by Psycho and Fortune

Wow, that story was spooky. o_0 First off, I cannot tell you how funny the image of the Yurble emptying his cheeks out seems to me. XD I don't know why, but it seems hysterical.

As for the actual story, I believe it could have been broken up a bit with some dialogue, but I'm afraid I have no idea how you could've done that in this story. Heh, that probably wasn't very helpful.

Nevertheless, this story was absolutely amazing. The twist at the end was cool, (although I think it sort of ruined the mood of the story, which I enjoyed). I definitely got a M. Night Shyamlan vibe from it, which was nice.

Writing was impeccable. I commend you on that. Psycho told me you guys worked a lot on this and it shows a lot. Great great great job. I really really enjoyed this one.

Trick or Scream! By Blub

Wow, creepy. Nicely done, Blub. ^^ I spotted a few punctuation errors, but mainly it was just when you didn't add a period. I can't help wondering about some of the choices some of the characters make. They seem a bit silly for anyone in their right mind. XD Also, the ending was a tad cliche, but different enough that you pulled it off. I liked how the girls had very realistic voices, I could definitely imagine them saying that. XD Overall, a nice story, though I've read better from you.


EDIT: More to come. ^^

[Salah~]

I loved the suspense in your story, The Scaredy Yurble. The ending wasn't really clear though. I'm pretty sure what happened was that Fear turned out to be just a little spardel, but the way it's written, it's also possible to think that the spardel just appeared too late, after the yurble was gone.

I didn't really like the ending. It just seemed too cliched: a monster turns out to be something completely harmless. I loved the part about how Fear supposedly appeared differently to everyone who saw it. But the way you ended it really disappointed me. For one thing, how did the spardel's eyes glow? And were its eyes big enough to be described as 'large bulbous eyes'? And why didn't the yurble ever see its body? I'm sorry, I just really think the ending would have been better if you'd left out the spardel and just left questions about Fear unanswered.

I wrote a short story called Changes of Heart. Could you review that?

[Psycho]

salamander said:

I loved the suspense in your story, The Scaredy Yurble. The ending wasn't really clear though. I'm pretty sure what happened was that Fear turned out to be just a little spardel, but the way it's written, it's also possible to think that the spardel just appeared too late, after the yurble was gone.

I didn't really like the ending. It just seemed too cliched: a monster turns out to be something completely harmless. I loved the part about how Fear supposedly appeared differently to everyone who saw it. But the way you ended it really disappointed me. For one thing, how did the spardel's eyes glow? And were its eyes big enough to be described as 'large bulbous eyes'? And why didn't the yurble ever see its body? I'm sorry, I just really think the ending would have been better if you'd left out the spardel and just left questions about Fear unanswered.

I wrote a short story called Changes of Heart. Could you review that?

I will review yours if you review mine, which you have. Monday, though. Have patience.

[Ebil]

ONOES. You're missing my short story! It's titled an October Holiday. it's kind of near the bottom. I'll have to do some reviewing when i get up tomorrow...

[Tashni]

SQUEEE! CCR IS BACK!!! Anyway . . .

CCR: Instincts - First, I love that Jeran calls the young squires cubs. It suits him.

Good to see a little more of Danner than I recall seeing in some of the previous stories.

If this was just any series I started reading, I wouldn't have been crazy about this chapter because I'm really not sure what the plot's going to be about. But because of Mareian and Jeran, you know I'll be reading on.

[Nimras]

tashni said:

SQUEEE! CCR IS BACK!!! Anyway . . .

CCR: Instincts - First, I love that Jeran calls the young squires cubs. It suits him.

Good to see a little more of Danner than I recall seeing in some of the previous stories.

If this was just any series I started reading, I wouldn't have been crazy about this chapter because I'm really not sure what the plot's going to be about. But because of Mareian and Jeran, you know I'll be reading on.

*grin* Yes, it is a slower chapter -- even though I'm sure I'm infamous for slow first chapters by now. This one is basically where I have to cement down Jeran and Mareian's relationship for later on in the story...

It gets faster, I promise. Thanks for the review! *gives grog* I swear I'll review everyone this week, but I'm going down to my inlaw's tomorrow so I won't get any up tonight. I have to get up early to drive down to the other side of the state.

_{Did you notice Mareian's wearing nothing but one of Jeran's shirts at the end of the chapter?}

[Belle]

Wow. So many NTWFers in. ^_^ You go, guys. I'm gonna try and squeeze some reviews in.

[Deleted]

The Scaredy Yurble
by phsycoticdancer and undeadfortune


It wasn't The Scaredy Yurble. It wasn't desperation.
It wasn't Fear. It was the Yurble.
He wasn't determined to stay. He was afraid to leave.
He lies to himself, but he has no conviction in his lies.
He was lost the moment his family left.
No one but the doomed live in memories.

Anyway, that's what I get from it.

I know the feeling towards the end. It's an FI moment.

Enough of that depressing stuff.


The story captures the mood pretty well. Not really Halloween, but I greatly enjoy a story that can capture a (familiar) feeling.

The beginning wasn't that strong. It didn't fit with the latter half. I don't see it as that he stayed because a farmer's land is his heart or that he was determined to stay when his neighbors started leaving. He doesn't seem the strong and determined type as by his fear.


A few other things

A farmer nurtures his family and his field in much the same way - he watches them rise to meet the sun every morning, and he watches them sleep beneath the starry sky. He feeds them and he sings to them.

From what I know, I'm pretty sure farmers don't actually watch them rise to meet the sun every morning. They are up and about and headed to work, like high school teachers, much too early to see their family rise to meet the sun.

Either his memory was fading or his meager vegetable patch was producing less, but in both cases he still needed to eat. He sighed and climbed out of his cellar to look at the sky.

This style/tone of this sentence does not fit. It broke the flow of the story up to that point for me.

He looked behind him, but there was nothing but the blackness of the forest.

On a clear day the forests outside of Neopia central are dark? I can't imagine blackness mediterranean/temperate forest more than deep in the crags in the bark. The canopy just isn't that dense. The undergrowth may be; however, dense undergrowth wouldn't be able to grow under such blackness.

The Yurble realized that he had no neighbors left to be confused with a monster in the night.

The storm had settled down and the sun had set beneath the horizon.

The words, the sounds, and feelings were excellent.
(Don't I know that Spardel?)

[Tyrannitar]

If anybody would like to review my story, 'The Korbat from Krawk Island', that'd be awesome possum. /notices that Psycho has like a million more reviews than me

[Deleted]

More to come in a bit

A Spooky Halloween, pt 4 by ghostkomorichu
Tombstones looks amazingly good with a pumpkin on his head (which is probably good because it looks like it's stuck there ) I've really enjoyed this Halloween series, and Komo looks great as Jazan

Being Eliv Thade Art by tristess & autoc007
Hehehe Poor little Kacheek!

The Collar by ssjelitegirl
I love Von Roo's expression! That's really good - I didn't see the punchline coming, and it made me laugh out loud Well done!

Flapdoodle: Trick Or Treat! by obviousfakename
I think the funniest bit of this is the little pic of Bruno with his bag of candy right at the bottom! Great art and a good joke

Neopups Halloween by coshi_dragonite
Another one where I didn't see the punchline coming. I love the idea that they taste better after candy too

Darkest Corner: Independence by dark_elfa
Nice art. It's not the funniest joke, but it's very Halloween

Life Improvised by keng200
Hehe... I wondered if anyone would do a cartoon about food being dug up. Great art and good joke, and I like that you got in a bit of a story to it instead of doing just a one-panel thing.

And the Meepits Outgrabe by kittylin
This is NTWF too isn't it? I love the artwork in this. It's very simple but still funny

The Korbat from Krawk Island by myfallenrevival4
I don't know what to say about this, and the reason is that I'm afraid I really didn't enjoy it, sorry I found it quite difficult to read - there were a couple of bits where I had to read it twice to understand what was going on, and you dipped from 3rd person into 1st person at one point, which left me expecting to find another character somewhere that never appeared. That said, the storyline is good and some of the ideas you've got in there are interesting. It just didn't float my boat, sorry.

A Royal Halloween by dark_goddess_rising
I really enjoyed this - it was easy to read and I liked your characters. I noticed a couple of typos but aside from that it was a really enjoyable story

Halloween Hassles by king_kino
I liked it - I love the way you got the atmosphere in right at the start, and all your characters were very real and fleshed out, even if they were only in for a moment

[Salah~]

I will review yours if you review mine, which you have. Monday, though. Have patience.

Okay.

[velveteen]

Gonna attempt some reviews since I just love halloween. but I'm off to a party! so will read later

[kino]

My short story, Halloween Hassles? Thanks.

[Deleted]

Tales From Cabin Eight: The Halloween Away From Home by dan4884
I think I need to read your other two stories as well, because some of this I didn't quite understand to start with, but it was an interesting story. I really loved this bit:

The foursome made their way uot of the cabin (Hank taking care not to scrape the ceiling with his brains)

One thing I didn't understand though was the bit with Mrs Feign making the wierd signs and the witch with the Brain Hog - what was the connection there?

Ahnnilator's Guide to the Deserted Fairground by cyneo_masters2
This was a really fun article. I especially like your buddy system - anyone want to come to the deserted fairbround with me on Tuesday night...?

Chronicles of the Court Rogue: Instincts - Part One by nimras23
This looks like it's going to be interesting I love your descriptions and as always your writing is great. And yep, I did notice that Jeran's already got Maerian out of her clothes and into bed!

I've printed out the rest, I just haven't had a chance to read them yet - I'll do them later

I'd love any reviews on Aubrise and the Gebmid Mystery - the first part's a bit slow but it does get faster