Issue 214 Reviews

[Deleted]

Last Article Reviews

Vexed by Vex: a Cellblock Interview - by: guy_sebastian_crazy

Wow, a non-Halloween article. Whew, I could use a break. Plus, I <3 Cellblock. I like how the beginning was written more like a story, I always tend to find those articles interesting since it's makes you want to read on. The first two paragraphs were great, BTW, even had some humor.

The title is very catchy/witty. I loved the interview! I think you did a great job portraying Master Vex's personality, it is just as I imagined him to be. Plus, I like how this article was intentionally funny, but had some parts where you're thinking, "Ah, that's clever". There one tiny thing I caught was that this article was written in first person and once you said "her" referring to yourself. Just a little slip, nothing major. Loved the interview!


Neopia's Most Craziest, Spiffest, Finest Halloween Costumes - by: shadowcristal

Congratulations on hitting the big 1-0-0, Sia. With articles like this, you totally deserve it! I just thought this was going to be a list article with costumes, but no, you had to incorporate everything you said in the title in the article. That was surprising and fun to see.

I liked how you mentioned all of the finest costumes in the finest category. Well, yeah, but what I'm trying to say is: you chose some good selections for finest costumes, spiffiest costume, etc. There was one thing that I noticed in this piece: there were definitely a lot of commas! It was almost a little distracting and I caught quite a few that I wouldn't've put in... but hey, if that's how you like to write then I won't complain. Another cool article by Sia the Great. ;D


Tricking For Your Treats - by velveteen and tnumfive

All right guys, front page! That's neat, especially since you're relatively new to the Times. ^^ I think it took me like 9 months, but, this is about the article, so let's get to it! Haha, this article was really funny. It wasn't one of those where it's just teeming with joke and goofiness, but had some more simple humor.

Take this line, for example "If you have no hair, don’t worry, merely borrow your friend’s well-trained walking carpet petpet and train him to sit still on your head for the evening." I found that very comical without the writer's pushing it on me. The skeleton one is funny too, where the person will give you more candy to fatten you up. XD Overall, can't say the piece was entirely original, but cute and funny nevertheless. It was a nice article for Halloween.


Next... short stories of uber DOOOOOM. ..nah, I'm kidding. I'll get around to these today and tomorrow. Or maybe just today and maybe just tomorrow. Depends what I feel like doing.

[Deleted]

orangetiger said:

Watch For Cracks This October- XD Very good! I love all the super-persice(sp?)
measurments, like the raindrops and the sun's angle. The Borovan was also a clever touch,
and so was the number 13 one. Great article!

Thanks for the review!

[velveteen]

playmobil said:

Tricking For Your Treats - by velveteen and tnumfive

All right guys, front page! That's neat, especially since you're relatively new to the Times. ^^ I think it took me like 9 months, but, this is about the article, so let's get to it! Haha, this article was really funny. It wasn't one of those where it's just teeming with joke and goofiness, but had some more simple humor.

Take this line, for example "If you have no hair, don’t worry, merely borrow your friend’s well-trained walking carpet petpet and train him to sit still on your head for the evening." I found that very comical without the writer's pushing it on me. The skeleton one is funny too, where the person will give you more candy to fatten you up. XD Overall, can't say the piece was entirely original, but cute and funny nevertheless. It was a nice article for Halloween.

Thanks heaps for the review! Being pretty new to all this any feedback is wonderful because I'm still figuring out the best style to write in for me. My usual style isn't very "Neopian Times-y" to say the least. Have a pot of lipbalm for your time - thanks!

[Tashni]

SOS: MSPP-Ooo, creepy! We always knew those MSPP were up to no good...maybe that's why 'malevolent' is the first part of the name *Shrugs* Anyways, the article was really
well written, and I like the Whoot at the end. Nice job!

Thank you!

[Deleted]

Thanks Playmobil for the review! Yes, candy does rock. *munches on candy*

I'll do article and short story reviews after school. I'll see how many I can get done.

[Deleted]

eri said:

Once Upon a Halloween Night by really_awesome_d00d

Wow! What a great read! Jason, you did an awesome job on this story - I was hooked the entire way through!

I absolutely loved your opening paragraphs - the description in there was great! Your writing really makes me think of Stephen Crane's - saying the colors isn't good enough, you need to go on and describe them - "sprout-green" and "jet-black"

One thing that I will point out just as on observation is that you use breaks (~*~) quite a few times through out the story. While sometimes it was good for a scene change, a few times it almost made it seem jerky. Maybe you could try using some transitional paragraphs to slip into another scene rather than breaks?

Again, this story really was really great! I love the ending - very sad, you didn't try to back track to make things a little happier. Bravo!

Wow, thanks for that awesome review, Eri! (And muchos gracias to everyone else who reviewed my short story. ;D) I'm glad you guys all liked it; I really enjoyed writing it. I think this whole "Once Upon A..." theme will become a sort of tradition for me; Jhudora Day and Christmas are still on the horizon.

Anyways, about your review, Eri: thanks for pointing out that comment about the breaks. I was a little concerned that I was using breaks too often and I'm glad you pointed it out that you noticed that. Heck, there's no way I can learn to transition better if no one tells me, right?

Anyways, I'm very thankful that you guys all enjoyed it as much as you did.

Happy Halloween!

[Nut]

In fact, I think you ought to make your NTWF avvy into that really happy pumpkin.

Suggestion taken. *points to avvie* Oh, I am so susceptible to suggestions...

Article Reviews

Watch for Cracks This October
I like how you've turned commonly known superstitions into Neopian versions. The little rhyme you came up with for the cracks is funny. The superstitions that you came up with yourselves were even more amusing! My personal favorites were 8, 14, and 19. ^^ Any excuse for purple pets having orange spots is good in my eyes. (Yes, I do like the orange spots on purple pets. *cough*) All of the extremely precise numbers were funny, proving just how wild superstitions are. The only mistake I can find in this article was on number 12, where the sentences seem to be in the wrong order. It confused me at first, but I got the idea after rereading it. Overall, an amusing and creative list of Neopian superstitions!

What to Do and Not Do in Eliv Thade's Castle
Extremely funny article! ^^ Not only are your explanations for why you Do Not do the five things listed hilarious ("It’ll be fun, a mad Kacheek for company and Vernax webs for food, what’s not to like about living in Thade’s Castle?"), but the fact that the Do's are identical is even better! Plus, you have good reasons for both the Do's and Do Not's. Very amusing idea! (It's oddly similar to one that I had for an article intro, but not a whole article... hmm. o_0) Starting with Thade's story was a clever idea that isn't used very often. I was wondering where you were going a bit with it, but of course background info is always useful. I do agree that the way it was broken up into tiny paragraphs made it read a bit stiffly, but I realize that you didn't make it that way. (I kind of wonder why Droplet changed it, though; to my knowledge, she doesn't usually alter writing that much...) And, I like the ending anagram. ^^ The only mistake I could find in this article was that under the "DO NOT" header you said, "Here are the top 10 things you should not do". I think that should have been either "Here are the top 5 things you should not do" or "Here are the top 10 things you should or should not do". But that's a small matter compared to the rest of the article. Overall, this was a highly entertaining read! Great job!

Bird Calls: an Interview with the Pteris of Neopia
This is an amazingly funny interview article! Poor Soup Faerie... XD Every turn of this interview is just hilarious and perfectly staged. Every amusing quote led to something else even funnier. I love the part about the Golden Pteri not wanting to do the interview unless you're a reporter from the Times. ^^ And the Black Pteri grabbing the money, and then giving himself as a BD challenger... hilarious! The Maintenance Pteri was even better... in fact, they all are. There are so many good quotes in this article that I can't list them all here! Oh, and the Hula Pteri! I'd love to see an interview with him someday. ^^ Terrific article!

Vexed by Vex: a Cellblock Interview
A nice interview with a practically forgotten character of Neopia. The way Vex kept mentioning Barallus were funny, and I love how Vex jumps at the start ("PERSONAL questions?"). And the idea of Vex releasing any prisoner who beats him at Cellblock is interesting, when a lot of people have gotten his gold trophy. Vex's description of the prisoners was humorous, and your pointing out the end that the prison is falling apart was a funny way to close the article. Nice job!

6 Ways to Fool the Pant Devil
Very funny article! The way everything ends with "Haha, Pant Devil has been fooled!" is funny. I like Way 4, dressing up as the Pant Devil, and the "example" that went with it. ^^ I was glad that there was a 6th way after all; when I first saw the "There is no 6th way" I was worried that you might leave it out like so many other list articles, but you didn't. In the beginning of the article I wasn't quite sure of your purpose for the article, because I thought at first that it would be a humorous article, but since Way 1 was a real suggestion I was confused for a moment, and the examples changed the format of the article a bit. Overall, a funny article all through!

[Deleted]

nut said:

Watch for Cracks This October
I like how you've turned commonly known superstitions into Neopian versions. The little rhyme you came up with for the cracks is funny. The superstitions that you came up with yourselves were even more amusing! My personal favorites were 8, 14, and 19. ^^ Any excuse for purple pets having orange spots is good in my eyes. (Yes, I do like the orange spots on purple pets. *cough*) All of the extremely precise numbers were funny, proving just how wild superstitions are. The only mistake I can find in this article was on number 12, where the sentences seem to be in the wrong order. It confused me at first, but I got the idea after rereading it. Overall, an amusing and creative list of Neopian superstitions!

Thanks for the review! Looking back on that, I probably SHOULD have put those sentences in a different order...

[Tay - Sock Eater]

Did I get a review yet for Halloween: Treats and Tricks? I really need one since it's my first writing. x_o If I did get one I definitely overlooked it. Sorry. Pretty new to all of this - still. I asked on page 4 at the very top I do believe. Thanks for taking your time to read this pointless note. And sorry. For bothering everyone. x_o

[Nut]

I'm going to be getting around to more reviews in a day or two. Treats and Tricks will be a part of it.

[Deleted]

playmobil said:

Neopia's Most Craziest, Spiffest, Finest Halloween Costumes - by: shadowcristal

Congratulations on hitting the big 1-0-0, Sia. With articles like this, you totally deserve it! I just thought this was going to be a list article with costumes, but no, you had to incorporate everything you said in the title in the article. That was surprising and fun to see.

I liked how you mentioned all of the finest costumes in the finest category. Well, yeah, but what I'm trying to say is: you chose some good selections for finest costumes, spiffiest costume, etc. There was one thing that I noticed in this piece: there were definitely a lot of commas! It was almost a little distracting and I caught quite a few that I wouldn't've put in... but hey, if that's how you like to write then I won't complain. Another cool article by Sia the Great. ;D

Thanks for the review, Playmobil ^^
I wrote it a while ago and thought it'd be too late to send for Halloween but it wasn't ^^
Sorry about the commas, I guess I just went overboard (from that nice title). As for the article, I did not intend to make it a list one so rest assured Glad you liked the article, it was a bit dry on humor though...

[Yuka]

Last request for Legend Seekers reviews...pweeeeeze? I'll give you a hornet egg! *puppy eyes*

[Deleted]

Me liked Oreos Halloween. Twas very good and funny and sweet.

And the comic Bad costumes. That really made me grin ;D

The Jackals of Sakhmet - Kasha's Plot This is a pretty dark plot. it even gives me chills at some parts. Is very good.

[Nut]

I finally got around to reading the continued series today. (I read the Times in sections.) The Lost Desert Dagger finished this week, and so did Sand Daughter... *sob* They were both great stories. Anyway, here are some short story reviews.

Short Story Reviews

Empty Candy
Excellent story! The episode with Breanne's ghost costume at the beginning was amusing. I didn't understand why you set the story in Year 12 when I first started reading, and thought that it was going to turn out to be a usual "spooky" story where the resident of the old house turns out to be a maniac or a ghost or something. It was a surprise to me when the Lupe turned out to be friendly, though I still thought he might end up being a ghost. When it was revealed that the Lupe was Jeran, I was astonished! I had not expected it at all. A very original idea, and a touching story; it never occurred to me that Jeran would ever be forgotten. Very good job!

Shadow Bars
An interesting story with a chilling idea behind it. The whole idea of Shadows and Shadow Bars is interesting to me. The story starts with a friendly atmosphere that is interesting just from watching the characters interact, but then becomes a real adventure. I could picture the whole event. It seemed a rather amazing coincidence that Valli's costume prop would hold such detailed information on defeating the Shadow, but that's part of the magic of the evening, I suppose. I do wonder where she got the spell book, though. The traditional ending leaves the reader with a sense of chilled relief, and Valli ends the story with wise words of reassurance. Nice job!

Halloween: Treats and Tricks
Very nice story! I like your characters, particularly Ollie; she is very amusing to read about. It was funny when she was getting so panicked over her costume, when it really wasn't a big deal. The idea of a lipstick-wearing MSPP was funny, and I liked the fact that Carla is portrayed as a normal Neopet instead of as an evil plushie bent on terrorizing Neopia. The idea of tiny Cotton Candy Trees was interesting, and the yellow toothbrush was amusing. I don't know if it was quite necessary to list all of the pets' candy after they'd finished trick-or-treating, but that's all right. Oh, and the trick at the end was funny! Peanut butter spiders, indeed! I can just imagine what I would do if that happened to me. ^^ Oh, and the custom pic for this story was really nice. *huggles image*

SOS: MSPP!
Ooh, funny title. I like the pun on the acronyms. ^^ This was an interesting story, and an original view on the MSPP terror front. I like how it is told from the owner's point of view. The idea of a MSPP leading a Meepit army is creepy and original; the way you portray Mehocho (interesting name!) is certainly frightening. The story is comparably short, but could not really have been stretched into a longer tale without it becoming boring. I love the twist at the end, where the owner sends out a message by Whoot. It was quite original, especially when you wrote the little note in italics at the end. A good story!

Once Upon a Halloween Night
Ooh, wonderful story! It was a fresh look at how Edna became a witch; very original and interesting to read! At first I was confused with why Edna was being treated as a child, but I soon figured out that she was a child. The ending was sad, but of course that was how it had to be. The descriptions were good and the characters stood out well. Excellent job! ^^

Oreo's Halloween
This was a very funny story. I love Landen's character, and Oreo's costume was funny. The ending was sweet as well. Nice story! ^^

Erk, sorry the last one was so short. Anyway, there are my reviews. I'm hoping to write one about Legend Seekers at some point, too.

[Tiger]

nut said:

Shadow Bars
An interesting story with a chilling idea behind it. The whole idea of Shadows and Shadow Bars is interesting to me. The story starts with a friendly atmosphere that is interesting just from watching the characters interact, but then becomes a real adventure. I could picture the whole event. It seemed a rather amazing coincidence that Valli's costume prop would hold such detailed information on defeating the Shadow, but that's part of the magic of the evening, I suppose. I do wonder where she got the spell book, though. The traditional ending leaves the reader with a sense of chilled relief, and Valli ends the story with wise words of reassurance. Nice job!

Thanks! Actually, while I was writing the story, I considered mentioning that the book was an old family heirloom she'd found. I was thinking a week ahead, though, so I didn't think I had time to add it.