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Post by Deleted on Nov 5, 2005 16:26:47 GMT -5
da l00p comeekHeh. This comic was quite cute. I think it was less funny to me than it should have been because of my attitude towards the noobish attitude. I find that sort of behavior aggrivates me rather than amuses me. As a result, I felt almost frustrated towards the lupe. ... But that is also an effective comic method, and it's actually rather a refreshing emotional pause between comics. It's a rather effective one-panel-er. Of course, it would've been rather difficult to spread such a simple joke over multiple panels anyway. I think the joke is effective in that it reminds the seasoned player the frustrations of being a new neopian and reading the Estimated Cost on the item descriptions (TNT really needs to get rid of those...). The art is quite adorable. The sketchy simpleness of the lupe enhances his newness, and the expression is simply huggable! In fact, the style overall is quite wonderful. I like how you drew the omelette to match the style of the comic, rather than using the Neopets image. While it is often good to use the official Neopets art to ground a comic in Neopia, this comic works with a new item art because it's such a simple comic, and a cut-paste neo image would've made the comic unbalanced. *lapses into art school critique-mode* It's a very cute and wonderful comic.  Yes! And thanks to you Will for the wonderful idea! I had an excellent time collaborating with you. 8D Only the first two. I would love to see the third. |
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Post by william on Nov 5, 2005 16:37:23 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Nov 5, 2005 16:39:21 GMT -5
HAAHAHAHA. Truly. A definate LOL. xD
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Post by Czenko on Nov 5, 2005 17:00:08 GMT -5
Here's a couple. I'll do more tomorrow. I'm going to try to R&R all of the articles and short stories eventually. "I Fell off Faerieland" - and Other Wacky Excuses Mentioned in the News AND at the top of the front page?! OMG! How lucky are you? It was all well-deserved, however, as this is a very original and funny article! Good job. A note on punctuation, you don't live in the US, do you? Of Kelp and Health - Wow, top of the page! Congrats! First note: Kelp is "50,000 miles under the sea?" Wouldn't its diners' heads explode from the pressure? Anyway . . . For just a moment, I was afraid this was going to be a slow piece. Then the Scorchio sent them to table 13, and I could just hear the "Dun dun DUN!" What was with the POV switch in the middle? If it was intentional, it was confusing and without setup or pattern. It took me a VERY long time to figure out who Czenko and Abrax were. Without knowing that you call yourself Czenko, I would have thought these were two male Neopets. They are actually a female owner and male owner, right? This needed to be specified MUCH earlier. But overall, very good. The characters were written well as was the description. It was funny, too! Sorry about not telling who we really were. It would be quite confusing for the reader. It's hard for me to imagine this since we are not people, just merely greedy, sloppy, NT reporters. My name is Czenko and will always be Czenko within the wall of Neopets. Said Chenko, but spelled Czenko. I like my name, but it's really a part of my name, so don't argue. Wait...you weren't arguing. Glad you liked it |
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Post by Tiger on Nov 5, 2005 17:03:13 GMT -5
Any reviews for Part Nine of Avalon and the Emerald Noil Gem are appreciated!!! I'll do reviews tomorrow...
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Post by Patjade on Nov 5, 2005 18:41:22 GMT -5
Feed Florg!Hahah... That was another classic "Patjade groaner comic". XD You know, I hate to say it, but the joke would've been MUCH more effective with better visuals. This comic was really art-driven, and I think the images were quite unclear. The emphases really needed to be on that third panel, where the Kadoatie (?) was being exctracted from Florg's teeth. It's so unclear exactly what's going on in that panel. At first glance, it looks like Florg's trying to eat a petpet that's running past, then you see the motion lines and it looks like Florg coughed him up, but it really doesn't look like the petpet is coming from Florg's teeth, an important part of the joke. Still, I like the pacing of the comic. It has good timing, most of the dialogue is quite clear. I didn't notice Florg's dialogue in the first panel, though, because it crammed up in a corner near the title, where it gets disregarded as part of the title. And most people don't read the title area, since the title has already been established on the main NT comics page. Thankfully, the comic does just fine without that bit of dialogue. Heh. It was a cute comic though. ^__^ I am working with Tigeria on her art a bit. As with the last comic she did with me (which took 2 months to get in) I went redid the dialogue, but my art expertise (rated in the negative numbers) is not good enough to do any major reworkings of the comic itself. I didn't get more than 2 neomails (about par) about the comic. I hope people enjoyed the joke, though. |
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Post by Tashni on Nov 5, 2005 23:35:43 GMT -5
The Tale of Cutie Cucumber - Cute and funny, with lots of weirdness. An entertaining read, but it has several grammar and punctuation mistakes. I doubt a SpelChek would catch them, so next time I'd suggest getting a reliable human to look over your work. Also, I would have liked some more structure. (I'm one to talk.) Perhaps they needed her to do something within a few days, and if she doesn't get her memory back, there will be dire consequences. But it was still good!
The Warf That Could Fly - Not a good opening paragraph. How is this supposed to draw me into the story? It is only at the bottom of the 9th paragraph that I become intrigued with the line "Norp was very clever for his species; after all, not all Warfs are smart." It's a sort of foreshadowing, something you should have done at the beginning. Another note. 9 of your paragraphs in a row all started with "Norp." Might want to keep an eye on that. You description is good, involving without being cumbersome. I wish there was some motivation for Norp. This is, after all, an odd thing for a Warf to do. I do like Norp, he's a very endearing character. I would have liked some more of his experience on his way back home on the Eyrie. But I really liked the end. Do I smell a sequel? Overall, this was a very cute, easy to follow story. I liked it a lot, even though I would have liked to see more.
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Post by william on Nov 6, 2005 6:09:39 GMT -5
I got a hilarious response about my Inexperienced Neophyte comic: I read your comic and thought it was funny You spelled some of the words wrong, though... :-( |
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Post by Vyt: Down, but Not Out on Nov 6, 2005 8:33:48 GMT -5
I'm here to review comics (since I don't feel like making one for awhile  )... NOTE BEFORE READING MY REVIEWS (especially to those authors): I am very strict in reviewing comics. However, I do not tend to offend you and your work. Also, please do not compare your rating to the others. When Sloth Takes Over the Petpet Lab.... - Good comic! Nice drawing by ghostkomorichu  and good story by damien_27619. It's sense of humor kinda "fell off" though. Rating: 7.9 Feed Florg! - My comments are like that of above, but even better! Rating: 8.4 oYu giFrue tI utO - Nice drawing. Kinda lacks some sense of humor though, and that "Oh no! Another case of Avataritis!" was TOO random. Rating: 7.0 Faerie Tales - The drawing was kinda between decent and good. I didn't get quite the message in the comic, though. Rating: 6.9 Sanity Obsolete - Decent drawing, but good joke! Rating: 7.6 The Unbelieveable - Cute and good drawing! Good humor, too! Though I noticed that Midnight (the Usul)'s tail was missing... Rating: 8.0 NQ2 - The Aftermath... - LOL! Maybe that's what Rohane really got after all those hardships and pain... Good drawing. Rating: 7.8 Neopian Insanity - Decent to good drawing, though the colors looked too dark. Nice joke there, anyway! Rating: 7.7 Embarrassed Pet - Another LOL! Nice drawing AND joke! Rating: 8.4 Owners, Pets, and Olivias... - OMG CHIBI DRAWINGS! Must rate low... j/k. VERY GOOD DRAWING! But, the joke seemed familiar and old. Still funny, though. Rating: 8.1 Evil Soggy Boxes of DOOM - WARNING! OVER-USED WORD IN TITLE! Decent to good drawing and joke. Rating: 7.5 Dignity? - LOL! Nice drawing and joke! Yeah, I think dignity's overrated, too XD. Rating: 8.0 Sketchy - For a first submission, that PWNS! Good joke, nice drawing! Rating: 8.0 Live Long - Decent drawing. Didn't quite get the message, though. Rating: 6.7 Who's Speech Bubble is it Anyways? - Good drawing, but also didn't quite get the message. Rating: 7.2 always Errors - Good drawing! Decent joke... But they don't quite mix well in this comic. Rating: 7.0 ---WILL CONTINUE RATING COMICS TOMORROW. IT'S PAST MY BEDTIME ^^;--- |
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Post by Beanie Morton on Nov 6, 2005 9:45:07 GMT -5
Thanks. I kicked myself when reading it for all the errors. I would have caught most of them if I had just waited a day or two, and re-read it them.  . Most of those little mistakes really drive me nuts. But again, thanks. =) |
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Post by Tyrannitar on Nov 6, 2005 15:21:45 GMT -5
Even though I'd like more reviews for 'Of Kelp and Health', thanks for the Sanity Obsolete review.  |
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Post by Tay - Sock Eater on Nov 6, 2005 16:53:40 GMT -5
I have decided to dedicate some of my time with reviews, in hopes that people will review part ONE of my series as well. My series is Purple Pebble. Now off to my reviewing. -cough- ^_~
OF KELP AND HEALTH
This short story was a little confusing and the plot was hard to follow along with. This could use a little improvement. For your quotation marks, you use ' instead of ". I'm not used to that. xD But it was quite original. ;D
OCEAN'S EMBRACE
I like your vocabulary. This is nicely written. The emotions are strong and it makes it seem like you're actually there. =) I liked the ending, too. Nice work. ;D
And that's all for now. I have to get back to my own writing. FIRST REVIEWS I have ever made. =D
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Post by Tyrannitar on Nov 6, 2005 16:57:12 GMT -5
Yay! -feels special-
You know, the POV changes seemed good at the time. But meh; I should've put a note at the beginning or something. XD
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Post by Lau on Nov 6, 2005 18:17:30 GMT -5
Thanks for the review! |
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Post by Nut on Nov 6, 2005 19:34:25 GMT -5
Article Reviews
"I Fell Off Faerieland" - and Other Wacky Excuses
A very entertaining article! I confess that I was expecting a list article, with 50 or so excuses and little or no explanations, but I should have known better, coming from Playmobil. As it was, I found myself looking at a highly entertaining article with five very funny excuses to get out of Neoschool. I love the second excuse--a Diddler indeed! The third excuse was also hilarious, and the fourth was just plain funny. I am glad that you devoted space in the article to explain each excuse, as the excuses wouldn't be nearly as funny without your delightful narrative talking about each one. Number five was to be expected, but at the end of your article you left me longing to see what other crazy excuses you could've come up with. Great work!
The Truth About Our Refillable Friends
Okay, this is one of my personal favorite articles. The idea was simply genius. I wasn't really sure what to expect when I started reading this article, but as soon as I got past the introduction I was glued to the screen in amazement at how clever, not to mention well-written, this article is. The individual biographies on each pen are well thought-out and interesting. Many are quite amusing as well, if for no other reason than because of the terminology used in the context of the pens. I like how you described the Fancy Pen as "born with a Silver nib in its mouth" and all the other witty adaptions of common expressions scattered throughout. Not to mention the idea of the MSPP Pen's great uncle "running out of ink"! That one had me grinning. I congratulate you on your imagination; the pens' life stories were a great read!
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and good story by damien_27619. It's sense of humor kinda "fell off" though.
. Most of those little mistakes really drive me nuts. But again, thanks. =)
