215 Reviews

[Tashni]

Here's a couple. I'll do more tomorrow. I'm going to try to R&R all of the articles and short stories eventually.

"I Fell off Faerieland" - and Other Wacky Excuses Mentioned in the News AND at the top of the front page?! OMG! How lucky are you? It was all well-deserved, however, as this is a very original and funny article! Good job. A note on punctuation, you don't live in the US, do you?

Of Kelp and Health - Wow, top of the page! Congrats! First note: Kelp is "50,000 miles under the sea?" Wouldn't its diners' heads explode from the pressure? Anyway . . . For just a moment, I was afraid this was going to be a slow piece. Then the Scorchio sent them to table 13, and I could just hear the "Dun dun DUN!" What was with the POV switch in the middle? If it was intentional, it was confusing and without setup or pattern. It took me a VERY long time to figure out who Czenko and Abrax were. Without knowing that you call yourself Czenko, I would have thought these were two male Neopets. They are actually a female owner and male owner, right? This needed to be specified MUCH earlier. But overall, very good. The characters were written well as was the description. It was funny, too!

[Tyrannitar]

Meh, it's Neopia. Anyways, thanks for the review, the Point of View change was intentional as that was the way Czenko and I decided to write it... sorry if it took a while... but as long as you liked it. Stories that make you think like that are better than stories that just go 'This happened, this happened, this happened, the end' IMHO.

[Tdyans]

Any reviewd for All Ears would be much appreciated.

[Tyrannitar]

It was funny.

[william]

I'd like some reviews for Da l00p comeek please,

[Dream]

L00p comeek: I laughed. I think everyone can remember identifying with that, at some point in their newbie days.

All Ears: When you said they'd be up in arms, I didn't realise you'd literally see arms as well as ears. *gasp* No, seriously, very good.

At least three other comics from this issue I didn't understand/get at all. Anybody else feel the same?

[william]

rainbowdaydreamer said:

L00p comeek: I laughed. I think everyone can remember identifying with that, at some point in their newbie days.

All Ears: When you said they'd be up in arms, I didn't realise you'd literally see arms as well as ears. *gasp* No, seriously, very good.

At least three other comics from this issue I didn't understand/get at all. Anybody else feel the same?

I must admit, nowadays, I only read the comics by people who's names I recognise.

[Patjade]

Well, if some of those folks come here, then they become recognized, right?

BTW, how many people groaned over mine this week?

[william]

I didn't quite get yours, Pat...I couldn't really tell what was going on in the middle panel.

[Patjade]

Florg was picking his teeth.

Yeah, I'm lame. XD

[Komori]

Awright! Comic reviews, because I always review stuff when I have a truckload of homework looming over my head! Hooray for procrastination!

Anyway, since I'm doing long reviews, I'll only review what's requested... But request away!


Sanity Obsolete

The first thing that jumped to my mind about this comic was the dialogue in the last panel. I think it could've been more humorous if the pet owner didn't say "42". It's almost a distractant to the joke. The point of the joke was that the owner isn't mentioning the elephante morphing potion to the shoyru, the obvious target of the potion. But that particular dialogue is making a sidejoke about the owner herself, how she is bad at lying. Now, those jokes seem like shades of the same thing, but in actuality, they're conflicting each other. The joke really isn't about the nature of the owner. It's about the book and the potion. The 'sillyness' of her answer is actually rather distracting.... Does that make sense? It feels like I'm making a mountain out of a molehill, but it's something that really did bother me.

Otherwise, it's a good joke. It's something that hasn't been done before, and even though it has a predictable ending, it's still quite humorous. The art is simple and straightforward, though I think Elephante Morphing Potions can be quite hard to recognize. Of course, that aspect is unavoidable, since you have no other option but to use the image provided by Neo. ... I wonder, are there other books regarding pet care where the pet's morphing potion is more recognizable? You might have looked into that.

Still, I'm being overly picky. It's a good comic. Bravo. ;D


All Ears

Heh, that's a nice reference to your previous comics. It's a nice tie-in, it reinforces to the reader that you had a theme for your past comics, in case they hadn't noticed before. It's perhaps something that'll encourage them to go back through the archives to reread your others. Props to you.

The first panel bothers me a little, because it's so busy. There are so many things to read and the viewer gets a little bogged down. I didn't even notice the speech bubble for a while. And the word 'Intruder' doesn't look like it's written on the board, it looks like it was written on the comic, like one of those Screenshot petpages people have. Also, as I continued to read the comic, it didn't seem like the first panel had anything to do with the others. I assume it is like the intro panel on some of the Sunday comics, with a short pre-joke before the actual comic. If that was the case, I think it would've been clearer of you had put a bold black separating line between the intro panel and the actual comic.

The joke is a humorous one. Not hilarious, but quite amusing. An important part of the dialogue is the sentences "And suddenly they're up in arms. Literally!" It would work better if those two speech bubbles had more connection. Not a literal connection, like the bubbles had to touch. But they seem disjointed because they actually should be one sentence. "... Suddenly they're up in arms.... Literally!" To break one sentence into two bubbles, you should have those three-period separaters, rather than a single period. The first panel would end like "up in arms... " And the second panel would look like: " ... Literally!" But then, I think I'm being picky.

I remembered that you were asking about ears in motion on the art boards. I wonder if that is the reason I readily accepted those ears as running. The running motion would've been more enhanced if the whole comic reversed direction, so the characters are running left to right, in the direcion of the viewer's natural reading motions. Movement from left to right enhances the movement. Movement from right to left is more jarring, and flows less naturally.

Anyway, that's being uber picky. I liked the comic, it was really fun to read. :3


da l00p comeek

Heh. This comic was quite cute. I think it was less funny to me than it should have been because of my attitude towards the noobish attitude. I find that sort of behavior aggrivates me rather than amuses me. As a result, I felt almost frustrated towards the lupe. ... But that is also an effective comic method, and it's actually rather a refreshing emotional pause between comics.

It's a rather effective one-panel-er. Of course, it would've been rather difficult to spread such a simple joke over multiple panels anyway. I think the joke is effective in that it reminds the seasoned player the frustrations of being a new neopian and reading the Estimated Cost on the item descriptions (TNT really needs to get rid of those...).

The art is quite adorable. The sketchy simpleness of the lupe enhances his newness, and the expression is simply huggable! In fact, the style overall is quite wonderful. I like how you drew the omelette to match the style of the comic, rather than using the Neopets image. While it is often good to use the official Neopets art to ground a comic in Neopia, this comic works with a new item art because it's such a simple comic, and a cut-paste neo image would've made the comic unbalanced. *lapses into art school critique-mode*

It's a very cute and wonderful comic.


Feed Florg!

Hahah... That was another classic "Patjade groaner comic". XD

You know, I hate to say it, but the joke would've been MUCH more effective with better visuals. This comic was really art-driven, and I think the images were quite unclear. The emphases really needed to be on that third panel, where the Kadoatie (?) was being exctracted from Florg's teeth. It's so unclear exactly what's going on in that panel. At first glance, it looks like Florg's trying to eat a petpet that's running past, then you see the motion lines and it looks like Florg coughed him up, but it really doesn't look like the petpet is coming from Florg's teeth, an important part of the joke.

Still, I like the pacing of the comic. It has good timing, most of the dialogue is quite clear. I didn't notice Florg's dialogue in the first panel, though, because it crammed up in a corner near the title, where it gets disregarded as part of the title. And most people don't read the title area, since the title has already been established on the main NT comics page. Thankfully, the comic does just fine without that bit of dialogue.

Heh. It was a cute comic though. ^__^

------

... Am I being too overly critical of comics? I guess I just feel that comics really deserve more indepth reviews than just "lol, funny comic!" I mean, the short stories get them, why not comics? :3

[Tyrannitar]

ghostkomori said:

Awright! Comic reviews, because I always review stuff when I have a truckload of homework looming over my head! Hooray for procrastination!

Anyway, since I'm doing long reviews, I'll only review what's requested... But request away!


Sanity Obsolete

The first thing that jumped to my mind about this comic was the dialogue in the last panel. I think it could've been more humorous if the pet owner didn't say "42". It's almost a distractant to the joke. The point of the joke was that the owner isn't mentioning the elephante morphing potion to the shoyru, the obvious target of the potion. But that particular dialogue is making a sidejoke about the owner herself, how she is bad at lying. Now, those jokes seem like shades of the same thing, but in actuality, they're conflicting each other. The joke really isn't about the nature of the owner. It's about the book and the potion. The 'sillyness' of her answer is actually rather distracting.... Does that make sense? It feels like I'm making a mountain out of a molehill, but it's something that really did bother me.

Otherwise, it's a good joke. It's something that hasn't been done before, and even though it has a predictable ending, it's still quite humorous. The art is simple and straightforward, though I think Elephante Morphing Potions can be quite hard to recognize. Of course, that aspect is unavoidable, since you have no other option but to use the image provided by Neo. ... I wonder, are there other books regarding pet care where the pet's morphing potion is more recognizable? You might have looked into that.

Still, I'm being overly picky. It's a good comic. Bravo. ;D

Picky, aren't you? Well, thanks. I got bomboarded with 'OMG YOU USED A HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY JOKE LOLLLL YOU'RE FUNNY' fanmail, so who cares if it was unoriginal, the NT accepted it. (okay, so maybe that didn't come out THAT well...)

And is my short story collab being first on the page good or something?

[Deleted]

ghostkomori said:

da l00p comeek

Heh. This comic was quite cute. I think it was less funny to me than it should have been because of my attitude towards the noobish attitude. I find that sort of behavior aggrivates me rather than amuses me. As a result, I felt almost frustrated towards the lupe. ... But that is also an effective comic method, and it's actually rather a refreshing emotional pause between comics.

It's a rather effective one-panel-er. Of course, it would've been rather difficult to spread such a simple joke over multiple panels anyway. I think the joke is effective in that it reminds the seasoned player the frustrations of being a new neopian and reading the Estimated Cost on the item descriptions (TNT really needs to get rid of those...).

The art is quite adorable. The sketchy simpleness of the lupe enhances his newness, and the expression is simply huggable! In fact, the style overall is quite wonderful. I like how you drew the omelette to match the style of the comic, rather than using the Neopets image. While it is often good to use the official Neopets art to ground a comic in Neopia, this comic works with a new item art because it's such a simple comic, and a cut-paste neo image would've made the comic unbalanced. *lapses into art school critique-mode*

It's a very cute and wonderful comic.

Yes! And thanks to you Will for the wonderful idea! I had an excellent time collaborating with you. 8D

[william]

lin said:

ghostkomori said:

da l00p comeek

Heh. This comic was quite cute. I think it was less funny to me than it should have been because of my attitude towards the noobish attitude. I find that sort of behavior aggrivates me rather than amuses me. As a result, I felt almost frustrated towards the lupe. ... But that is also an effective comic method, and it's actually rather a refreshing emotional pause between comics.

It's a rather effective one-panel-er. Of course, it would've been rather difficult to spread such a simple joke over multiple panels anyway. I think the joke is effective in that it reminds the seasoned player the frustrations of being a new neopian and reading the Estimated Cost on the item descriptions (TNT really needs to get rid of those...).

The art is quite adorable. The sketchy simpleness of the lupe enhances his newness, and the expression is simply huggable! In fact, the style overall is quite wonderful. I like how you drew the omelette to match the style of the comic, rather than using the Neopets image. While it is often good to use the official Neopets art to ground a comic in Neopia, this comic works with a new item art because it's such a simple comic, and a cut-paste neo image would've made the comic unbalanced. *lapses into art school critique-mode*

It's a very cute and wonderful comic.

Yes! And thanks to you Will for the wonderful idea! I had an excellent time collaborating with you. 8D

Glad you enjoyed it! I've had some very positive neomail feedback, especially about the artwork. Did I show you all three comics, or just the first two which I did?

[Tdyans]

ghostkomori said:

Awright! All Ears

Heh, that's a nice reference to your previous comics. It's a nice tie-in, it reinforces to the reader that you had a theme for your past comics, in case they hadn't noticed before. It's perhaps something that'll encourage them to go back through the archives to reread your others. Props to you.

The first panel bothers me a little, because it's so busy. There are so many things to read and the viewer gets a little bogged down. I didn't even notice the speech bubble for a while. And the word 'Intruder' doesn't look like it's written on the board, it looks like it was written on the comic, like one of those Screenshot petpages people have. Also, as I continued to read the comic, it didn't seem like the first panel had anything to do with the others. I assume it is like the intro panel on some of the Sunday comics, with a short pre-joke before the actual comic. If that was the case, I think it would've been clearer of you had put a bold black separating line between the intro panel and the actual comic.

The joke is a humorous one. Not hilarious, but quite amusing. An important part of the dialogue is the sentences "And suddenly they're up in arms. Literally!" It would work better if those two speech bubbles had more connection. Not a literal connection, like the bubbles had to touch. But they seem disjointed because they actually should be one sentence. "... Suddenly they're up in arms.... Literally!" To break one sentence into two bubbles, you should have those three-period separaters, rather than a single period. The first panel would end like "up in arms... " And the second panel would look like: " ... Literally!" But then, I think I'm being picky.

I remembered that you were asking about ears in motion on the art boards. I wonder if that is the reason I readily accepted those ears as running. The running motion would've been more enhanced if the whole comic reversed direction, so the characters are running left to right, in the direcion of the viewer's natural reading motions. Movement from left to right enhances the movement. Movement from right to left is more jarring, and flows less naturally.

Anyway, that's being uber picky. I liked the comic, it was really fun to read. :3

Thanks, Komori! The indepth reviews are wonderful, and I for one should be able to appreciate a little nitpicking. I can't argue with the first panel being rather busy and the speech bubble being hard to find. But I wanted to play around with the intro panel from the first comic. Interesting point about making it more separate from the other panels. I hadn't done it with any of the other intro panels for this series, but then they were usually more directly related to the rest of the comic than this one was (though I think it is still *slightly* related since it shows that the natives aren't feeling too kindly toward the tourists any more).

I played around a lot with the wording and how to divide it up, punctuate it, etc., and I still wasn't sure about what I finally settled on, so I definitely appreciate the comments on that aspect. I'll keep that in mind for the future.

I hadn't thought much about the direction that they were running in having any effect on how it was perceived-- that's a really interesting point! I can see what you mean about it being less natural-looking and more jarring. I think I just naturally decided to have them going left because in the first comic when they're arriving, they're headed to the right, so it seemed like when they're leaving they should be going in the opposite direction. Not that I really thought all of that out, but just that that's probably what was subconsciously going on in my choice of directions. Another thing I'll have to keep in mind in the future.

Thanks again!