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Post by downrightdude on Jun 22, 2022 23:22:34 GMT -5
It always helps to keep some meat with you in times like that. Vultures can be easily distracted.
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Somebody splashed me with a water balloon! What's the best way to exact revenge?
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Post by Gelquie on Apr 6, 2023 18:33:43 GMT -5
Once more, I believe in tit for tat. But there's no reason to not vary it. Create your own water balloon, stick it in the freezer till it becomes an ice balloon, then throw it at that someone!
I've been arrested for water-balloon assault. How do I convince the cops that I didn't do it?
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Post by downrightdude on Apr 10, 2023 17:26:34 GMT -5
If your ice water balloons can't cause amnesia, you can always pin the blame on a dog with shifting eyes. Then the police will suspect the dog!
I'm craving cheesy bread, but I don't have any.
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Post by Stephanie (swordlilly) on Apr 10, 2023 17:36:31 GMT -5
Take a piece of bread - any will do. If you don't have one, then take a piece of paper, write "bread" on it, and ta-da! It's a piece of bread. Now draw little circles on it and cut out the holes so it looks like cheese, and there you have it, a cheesy piece of bread.
Someone is doing some kind of woodworking project next door and it's making a lot of noise, but I don't want to confront them. How do I... quietly make them shut up?
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Post by downrightdude on Apr 10, 2023 23:44:55 GMT -5
Throw a hammer at them. If they stay, throw more tools until they leave.
I can't decide whether or not I should ever get a Heart Cure Watch.
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Post by Gelquie on Jun 21, 2023 19:11:29 GMT -5
Of course you should get one. When in doubt, always buy it! Same for everything else you like. New pairs of pants, new mugs, a 5th package of toilet paper (or 6 if you're in doubt about that amount!), any new clothes, basically anything that catches your eye. We have been taught to limit our spending, but it just limits ourselves. Buy everything including that watch; be limitless.
My room is cluttered but I don't know how best to clear it up. Any tips?
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Post by downrightdude on Jun 21, 2023 23:52:24 GMT -5
If there's a task that must be done, Don't turn your tail and run. Don't pout, Don't sob, Just do a half-assed job.
If you cut every corner, It is really not so bad. Everybody does it. Even Mom and Dad. If nobody sees it, Then nobody gets mad. It's the American way.
If you cut every corner, You'll have more time for play. It's the American way!!
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That song made me thirsty. What flavour of milkshake should I have?
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Post by Gelquie on Jul 21, 2023 19:26:55 GMT -5
I mean, whatever flavors you have around that go in a milkshake. But really, making a milkshake is a huge undertaking. Just take all the ingredients you would put in a milkshake and just. Eat/drink them as they are. And if you don't have milk, use water! Now you can have all the flavors and don't have to wash (or even buy!) a blender. Live to the edict of cutting every corner!
I did not cut every corner. I made a smoothie but now I have to wash a blender. Iontwanna. What should I do?
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Post by Twillie on Jul 21, 2023 21:33:27 GMT -5
You can clean the blender as nature intended! Just stick it outside, let the animals eat off the leftover food, and soon enough your blender will be nice and clean again!
I can't seem to find my blender after leaving it outside last night. Any suggestions on how to buy a new one?
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Post by downrightdude on Jul 21, 2023 23:58:03 GMT -5
Why buy a blender when you can borrow a neighbour's and then conveniently move away the next day?
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I don't know which hat to pair with my sun dress.
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Post by Gelquie on Jul 22, 2023 0:22:36 GMT -5
Here. I have the perfect hat for you. I am wearing one too and it is a good hat. *Moves forward with a brain slug in hand.*
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No one wants to wear my brain slug hat. How can I get more people to accept the dominion of the brain slugs?
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Post by downrightdude on Jul 22, 2023 16:27:31 GMT -5
Find the most desperate social media influencer and convince them to wear your hat. Then they'll get all the impressionable fashion wannabes to wear it!
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How should I narrow down my Christmas list?
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Post by Gelquie on Jul 22, 2023 17:14:09 GMT -5
The holiday season is not about getting, it's about giving! Therefore to be the most morally pure, you should never want for anything. Throw your Christmas list away. Give away all your possessions too. Yes, even the ones for your needs. By anything I mean anything.
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I'm not used to warm sunny days. How can I best acclimate to them?
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Post by downrightdude on Jul 23, 2023 0:19:00 GMT -5
Set your oven to preheat and sit inside for at least fifteen minutes or until you're golden brown.
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Lady SnawSnaw needs a new hairstyle! Any suggestions?
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Post by Gelquie on Aug 1, 2023 2:56:49 GMT -5
Buzz the hair; not all of it, just a wide line of skin right down the middle to the forehead. Leave everything else untouched and hanging down.
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My haircutting client gave me a negative review on the internet. How can I rectify the situation?
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