The Ridiculous Homework and Excuse Generator

[Deleted]

AAA kept running from me, so I made out with Hanso instead. Is that okay?

Your homework is to fall in love, then, when that person turns into a cat, go on a heroic quest to restore your true love to human form. Oh, and you have to succeed.

[DJ-Vinyl]

My love is really smart, so he returneed himself before I even walked out the door.

Your homework is to find your least favorite Neopets character and kiss him/her.

[Sheik]

I wanted to, teacher, I really did. But after a little thinking, I realized that people could be spying through my window and think I'm a psycho for snogging my computer screen and ship me off to a mental institute and I'd be put in a straitjacket and it'd be hard to type in a straitjacket.
Now, we wouldn't want that, would we?

Your homework is to cover yourself in honey and then waltz in to bear country. As in, actually waltz. Bears like dancing, too.

[DJ-Vinyl]

I tried to, but I couldn't find bear country on my map.

Ur homework is to help Abigail prank her bro by sneaking into his room while he is asleep and put a dress on him. Have Fun!

[Naga]

I would, but I find it quite distasteful to do something that I've already done previously.

And no, I am not joking. You can stop looking at me weird now.

Fine, fine. You know what? Since you aren't looking at me weird, you're assignment is to bring Pokemon to life. Good luck.

[Deleted]

I'm afraid I have no knowledge since I have never played Pokemon and thus have no Pokemon games.

Your homework is to sing to a bunny who's had a nightmare so that the bunny falls asleep. Oh, and here's some birdsong nectar. Drink it and I guarantee you you will be able to sing well. Even if you can't talk right now.

[DJ-Vinyl]

I couldn't find a real bunny, so I used a stuffed one. I think it worked...

Your Homework is to listen to "The Device Has Been Modified"

[Naga]

//SUBJECT CONDITION: ERROR
//ATTEMPTING REBOOT
//ATTEMPTING REBOOT.
//ATTEMPTING REBOOT..
//ATTEMPTING REBOOT...
//REBOOT SUCCESS
//ATTEMPTING MEMORY RECOVERY
//ATTEMPTING MEMORY RECOVERY.
//ATTEMPTING MEMORY RECOVERY..
//ATTEMPTING MEMORY RECOVERY...
//MEMORY RECOVERY FAILED


//FILE RETRIEVED: HOMEWORK.EXE
//OPENING 'HOMEWORK.EXE'
//OPENING 'HOMEWORK.EXE'.
//OPENING 'HOMEWORK.EXE'..
//OPENING 'HOMEWORK.EXE'...
//'HOMEWORK.EXE' OPENED: DO PIROUETTE OFF OF THE HANDLE. PROCEED TO WIN OLYMPIC MEDAL.

[Deleted]

Sorry, but I couldn't understand you. I don't speak computer.

Your homework this week is meow mew mewl purry purr purr meow meow.

[DJ-Vinyl]

meow mewl mew-mewl purr-mew (Translation: I don't own a llama, so I can't)

Ur homework: DON'T kidnap AAA and DON'T bring him to me.

[Naga]

I'm sorry, but I politely refuse to not do the reverse of this assignments negative unpolarity on opposite day.

Would you kindly find something to defend yourself with?
^{^- Your homewurkz}

[Deleted]

Teacher, I'm a fire elemental so anything I pick up will burn.

Your homework is to draw a cat somewhere on the school walls.

[Naga]

At Dog-Leg High!? You must be crazy!

You are to acquire guns, knives and spies.

[Deleted]

Sorry, but due to my religion and my personal morals, I will not touch a gun for any reason. (Pretty much true)

Your homework is to get sorted into Slytherin, even if you have to bribe the Sorting Hat.

[icon]

Not a wizard. Ergo, can't go to Hogwarts. Ergo, can't be sorted. QED.

Your job is to drink a gallon of tea in two sittings.