Guild Wars II: The Summary (Rated T - the finale)

[Strife at work]

ssjelitegirl said:

And someone needs to map the entire country x___x I sortof figured that the pirate ship would approach the castle from the west, where the sea is, but I've no idea just how exactly Kestrel is positioned, or where its wings would be. Um, the gem's not only causing time malfunctions, but also geographical?

When all else fails, blame the gem for everything. ^_^ GW2 is immune to plot holes, I say!

But I like the idea of mapping out the Guild Wars mainland. I'm already in the process of making a world map of NTWF, so perhaps I could take a stab at it. =3

Anyway, this latest summary update was awesome. xD There were a few cases where I had to try extra-hard to supress my laughter.

[Bacon]

micrody said:

S: Bacon swears as he realizes Marzia’s already in the dropship.

seduphe said:

"Oh great." He removed his goggles. This was not good.

"I think he's already in the dropship." Bacon whispered to those nearby him.

"Oh great" is a swear term? o_O

[Kat]

[shadow=purple,left,300]I guess this can mean only one thing: Kat has high replay-value. xD

Gotta make up for the fact that me fainting is becoming the next cliché. XD[/shadow]

[Deleted]

@pfa:

Thanks, PFA. ^_^ 'Tis linked.

@hunty:

I've never underestimated sheep, for the same reason I never strike a Cuckoo with a sword.

Quite simply, there's power in numbers. *rushes to the numerologist and puts a down payment on nine*

If you caught the non-English reference in that (>.>), you rock!

Celestial:

The history of the gem is coming up as son as I catch up.

Just, you know, so long as you find nothing in space that could change the creation theory I've been able to work out with the amalgamation of all the facts thus far written into the roleplay.

Or even then, who knows? >.>

@zari:

Gotcha.

Strife:

Why'd you have to "suppress" your laughter? Just where are you reading this...?

And a map would be cool, but there are so many self-made lands and locales and so many varying ideas of placement shared among everyone here that I doubt there could ever be a universal map. Like, for example, in the Knights roleplay, there are fields south of the capital, but in this roleplay, it seems to butt up against a thick forest. Obviously, both cannot be true, UNLESS (as I bargain for) there are some miles of fields between the capital and South Gate, which happens to border upon the Southern Forest.

Granted, geographic compromises like this will probably be able to be worked out in all scenarios, but to go through this a hundred times over would allow so much time progression to pass that a simple comprehensive map could conceivably never be conceived.

@bacon:

It's dramatic effect, Bacon. I can't flesh out a summary, or else it wouldn't be a summary, so what else could I do? xD

kat:

True, true, but if you offer Hunty your help again, you might break a Guinness world record for making the most things cliché. Then again, after you did that, you could keep breaking the record, until that, too, becomes cliché, at which point, the very fabric of space-time would crumble and the world as we know it would come to an end.

For our sakes, Kat, I beg of you--do not offer Hunty your help again!

[Deleted]

(I)nvisible - (K)nights - (Ma)ges - (Me)rcs - (N)injas - (Ne)utral - (P)irates - (S)pacefleet


Guild Wars II: The Summary
Chapter Fourteen

Page SEVENTY-THREE

Me: Cyborg sums it up for Jernath.

S: Cyclops crawls atop Ethan’s head and gets excited; in the castle, Fraze draws his weapon and remains invisible.

Ma: Without intending to, Overlord links the afterlife with demonics as he explains the revival process to Bluisa (i.e., both the place of death and the home of demons have been called “the abyss”).

Ne: Asthielle tries to con the ‘Fleeters,

P: Huntress ignores Cyborg and tells Kat she needs a scout to scout the area before telling Surf the ship’s intelligent design.

Ma: Bluisa crash-lands next to Celestial and guards the dragon; Surf swings onto the ship and asks what happened to the castle.

P: Rider summons a Meepit army to do Hunty’s scouting and delivers the White Weewoo address aboard the Black Beekadoodle.

Me: Jernath, looking into the barrels of the Beekadoodle’s cannons, asks if there’s any way to reason with the Pirates.

P: Speck and the Blarf arrive at the ship and the former asks the Captain what to do.

Ma: Omni talks about midnight snacks and pours herself a cup of milk. Don’t forget to have your three a day.

PMaK: Kat says she’s glad she and Ikkin weren’t blown up. Yeah, that’d destroy an entire allegiance.

Ma: Rikku eats fruit and spills the beans on Spacefleet’s illegal experimentation on her head; Drakhé keeps eating and says she should ask around, since, well, he doesn’t know what to do. Hmm, that seems to be a trend….


Page SEVENTY-FOUR

Ma: Sev informs everyone that there are intruders in the castle.

PMaK: Ikkin flies off and calls for backup. Oh, no—don’t back up!

P: Hunty welcomes Speck aboard and sends Bloody Mary into the kraken’s ear to lead it into battle after Ikkin. If Kat wants to join them, Hunty says, that’s good, too.

N: Vyt hops into his daughter’s dream. You pervert. >.<

Ma: Overlord weewoos in Celestial’s ears and tells Bluisa to ask about the revival when she wakes up.

N: PFA dreams a little dream of Vyt.

Ma: Surf says she’s a Pirate by association with Ikkin. Hmm, does that also make her a Knight?

N: Vyt tells PFA to wake up, she’s dreaming, and Cat Assassin sees the Beekadoodle rising on the horizon. He must be dreaming, too.

S: Zari puts her hand on the doorhandle and says they have no time to waste to find Leoness. So all these hours they’ve been standing outside have been put to good use…?

PMaK: Kat takes the Cap’n’s suggestion and follows Ikkin as backup.

Ne: Asthielle asks if they know of anyone named Kalianne Triss.

S: Amneiger spies on Zari and Ethan with a minitank. I call this Big Brother: NTWF Edition.

P: Rider complains about her White Weewoo address going to waste and decides to ask if Speck’s alright instead.

N: PFA asks Vyt what he’s talking about (which is good, since for the sake of brevity, I’ve kept most of that out ^_^).

P: Hunty accepts Surf’s proposal on the ship and sends her off to do as she pleases while she takes a nap; meanwhile, the Blarf blarfs (is that the same as a Smurf smurfing?) and makes it into the castle.

K(?): Delinda the maid is shaken in more ways than one by the bombing and heads towards the kitchen for some cake. Along the way, however, she runs into the Blarf, who eats her who sends her away in fright.

PMaK: Ikkin follows the Blarf inside (which is rather ironic, as the Blarf left after she did) and heads to the throne room, where she stops negotiations between Spacefleet and the Peacekeepers just as the Blarf stumbles in, eats a marine, and burps. Loudly. I do hope they plan on sanitizing the room when they’re finished—I really don’t want to be playing king in that horrid atmosphere.

Ma: Celestial dreams of the silvery HQ on the moon before she wakes up and slyly alludes to the Darkest Faerie.


Page SEVENTY-FIVE

I: Tigereye slips out of Strife’s hold as Ikkin fires her shot; Marzia takes flight and takes off.

S: Strife scans Ikkin and the marines fire vengeful lasers at the Blarf.

N: Vyt tells PFA to look inside her heart. In a dream, is that supposed to be taken literally?

Ma: Bluisa tells Celestial that Cat Assassin’s on his way to the ship.

S: Ethan knocks on the door and asks if they should just open them. I mean, it doesn't say “don't open till xmas,” so why not?

Ma: Omni hears knocking and, after asking Rikku if she wants her to heal her head, asks someone to go get that.

P: The Blarf rolls into a ball and gets set on fire. Splat.

S: Bacon chases after Marzia and asks what he’s doing; the marines outside run towards the Pirate ship, where Keng hits a deer in the headlights and calls out for Cyborg. In the castle, Fraze jumps into his Universal Box, grabs some weapons, and joins the brawl.

Me: Cyborg answers his lover’s call and tells her the Weewoo’s alive. Silly cyborg, it’s called the Beekadoodle. Anyways, Rose arrives and asks Cyborg what’s going on; Cyborg answers her with a two-minute recap, and I promise you, mine is on the way!

PMaK: Ikkin throws air darts at The Commander’s Leech and jumps into the air to land behind him.

P: Speck gives Rider a two-minute recap of a different kind and goes to talk to Huntress; along the way, she catches sight of Leraye and The Possessor takes over to assault him…verbally, for now. Apparently, TP is a guilder who escaped from the gem, but how…? Maybe, just maybe, it’s possible that, when the gem was broken, a few of those trapped inside had fallen out….

N: PFA follows her heart and finds a rainbow. She follows the rainbow and finds a pot of gold. She takes the pot of gold to the bank and deposits it for cash. With the cash, she buys a purple glove and a yellow glove, thus unlocking the power she’s always had inside her that will change the fate of the NTWF forever, and then she wakes up.

Me: Jernath overhears Cyborg and decides reasoning is out of the question, so he prepares to fight if needed.

S: Zari watches Ethan knock on the doors and doesn’t do much else.

K: Zari’s head explodes.

GAME OVER

CONTINUE? |YES| |NO|

K: Zari rushes to the throne room and asks Fraze (whom, although still cloaked, she can see) if he happens to know her Other.


Page SEVENTY-SIX

PMaK: Kat arrives with a vengeance and hurls purple fireballs at Spacefleet.

Ne: Asthielle says knocking is probably useless, but it might be worth a try.

P: Hunty takes a nap on Leraye’s shoulder before Speck wakes her up, so she commands the ship to break it up, so the Beekadoodle levitates Speck while Hunty interrogates the both of ‘em…erm, that is, The Possessor and Leraye.

P₂: The Blarf extinguishes itself and sprawls out to take a nap; Bloody Mary smells a smelly smell and wonders off in search of it.

Me: Cyborg starts attacking Kat and Ikkin…although, to the best of my knowledge, he’s still outside. fO_o

PMaK: Kat retaliates to Cyborg’s impossible attack.

P: Rider freaks out and Shiva asks if it’s time for breakfast yet. He wants fox.

P₂: Leraye defends himself, saying Speckles speaks nonsense.

Ma: Celestial comforts Bluisa and prepares to call the dragons a second time to take her to the moon and back again; Bluisa asks her to explain everything.

N: Cat Assassin changes direction and runs into Castle Kestrel—wait, wait! That was only the punchline.

P: Goosh wakes up and imitates Huntress; Speck states her case and tries to fight Leraye; Rider keeps freaking out.

S: Surly sees his men run over by the Blarf and is overcome by vengeance; he takes some Spacefleet space food and uses it to disguise a frag grenade, which he then attempts to feed to the monster.

S₂: While the burning marines scurry to strip themselves of the fire-infested clothing, The Commander dodges Ikkin’s air darts (although they hit his shoulder and he later scans them) before being blasted back by Kat’s attack, into Ikkin and then against the wall. Well, I guess she’s stuck between a rock and a hard place now.

Ma: Celestial explains things to Bluisa and then goes into a trance.

S: Fraze notices Bloody Mary and says that he doesn’t want a repeat of when he threatened to bite his nose off, and that he had thought the Pirates and the Knights weren’t on good terms… He then rushes off, decloaks, and dresses himself in some burning clothes to recharge his skinsuit before chatting up Kallianne Triss, aka, Kat.

Ma: Surf flies off the ship and joins the time- and space-skewing brawl between the Kougras and Kat. I actually played this stage in SSBB yesterday—it's called Spear Pillar—and let me tell you, it was cool! But for the sake of continuity, this battle simply cannot exist.


Page SEVENTY-SEVEN

P: Hunty decides that, although The Possessor’s claims are plausible, the best way to find the truth is through exorcism; ergo, she asks Rider to hand her the amulet that Speck dropped when she went possessed.

P₂: Bloody Mary bounces onto Fraze’s shoulder and tells him that biting off his nose might not be such a bad idea after all; across the room, the Blarf licks the Spacefleet-grade meatball and decides it’s “nooooooooot fooooooood” (newt food, for those less intelligent). Go figure, he’s a vegetarian.

Me: Cyborg continues attacking in a non-existent battle while, in exercising common sense, Rose has a bad feeling about this.

Me₂: Jernath climbs into a tree whilst keeping an eye on the ship (for factual purposes, is it his right eye or his left?) and then fires an arrow at Goosh.

K: Zari fells nonplussed. Does that mean she feels negative?

PMaK: Ikkin falls to the floor and escapes in leaps and bounds, throwing more air darts at The Commander.

S: Keng says they’re not Mercenaries or ‘Fleeters, they’re Ducks. Sitting Ducks, to be precise. So she leads the marines towards the ship and starts to board it.

Ma: Rikku gladly goes to get the doors…and they fall down, once again. She eyes the intruders, who haven’t really intruded at all yet, and asks who they are. Because, if they’re Spacefleet….

PMaK: Kat asks the obvious of Fraze and continues off-handing an off-handed battle with the cyborg Merc, also known as the Merc Cyborg.

Ma: Bluisa agrees to join Celestial and leaves Cat Assassin on his own for a while.

N: Cat Assassin arrives in the throne room (again) and starts firing at the Blarf. Is it me, or does he always aim for the Pirate menagerie first? Earlier with Shiva, now with the Blarf. f-_-

Me: Cyborg warns Keng that boarding the ship is a bad idea while Shado prepares to bite off Kat’s head.

Ma: Surf strikes Shado to the side and slips under a swinging sword, sustaining a shirt-staining slash on her shoulder.

S: Cyclops crawls up to Rikku and tries to speak to her telepathically to tell her his plight of a lost slug searching tirelessly for its lost owner. ;_;

S₂: Surly smiles as the Blarf licks the meat-coated frag grenade, but frowns as it blows up in his face; Strife dodges an air dart, then uses his rocket boots to leap over Ikkin and shower her with the same.

PMaK: Ikkin forces the swarm of darts back at Strife and leaps into the air to circle him like a hawk.

Ma: Celestial awakens from her trance and transforms into a massive dragon with which she will jump to the moon (luckily, she isn’t a cow, or else she might miss her mark). She prepares herself for flight, missing only her passenger, Bluisa, before she can rightfully take off.


Page SEVENTY-EIGHT

P: The Beekadoodle rejects Jernath’s arrow, but doesn’t seem to realize that Keng’s trying to climb her. Well, well, if she did, what a godmoder she would be! Anyways, anyways, in the castle, the Blarf is angry, so he bites Surly clean in half and eats him. At least, he ate the top half of him….

Me: Shado falls to the ground with a cracked skull and Midknight rushes at Surf, splicing and dicing her abdomen and throat, respectively. Meanwhile, Rose rushes up to Shado and starts to heal him.

S: The marines begin shooting at the Blarf with another vengeance as Strife pulls a slab of the ceiling in front of him to shield the air darts; when he pushes it aside, he pulls down the entire ceiling over Ikkin.

Come on, guys, must the castle collapse in every Guild Wars? I know it’s not sentient like the Manor or the Ship, but it stands as a symbol of the Knights like the aforesaid stand for the Mages and the Pirates, respectively. No one would blatantly destroy either of those, or even the Ninja’s Dojo or the ‘Fleeters HQ, so why must the castle be so ill-treated?

S: Fraze decides to try distracting the Blarf, so he blasts music from his skinsuit and dances in front of it. Once he’s grabbed its attention, he begins slowly leading it away from the other ‘Fleeters.

Ma: Surf somehow dodges Midknight’s blows and strikes back at his solar plexus, asking Kat if she can take out Cyborg for her. I guess this is a bad time to remind everyone that Kat and co. are inside the castle while the rest of them are outside the castle, right? Right, just as I thought. Right. -_-

Me: Midknight is knocked to the ground and tries to recover with a genuine spin attack; Cyborg starts attacking Kat, but worries about his PP consumption. I wonder if he has any Elixirs on hand….

PMaK: Ikkin slides to the side, just past the falling stones, and flies through the hole in the ceiling, from where she launches a needle wind at Strife below her.

S: Strife gets angry, very angry, and starts sending stones into orbit around Ikkin. He wants to level the playing field, right? Yeah, I know exactly what he needs—his Final Smash. They’re a guaranteed KO 90% of the time, trust me. ~_^

N: PFA hits the deck and asks the Captain what her plans for their alliance is…are?

Me: Jernath wonders how he can break the Beekadoodle’s defenses—it’s more a tank than a ship by now—and fires and branches, yes, a tree branches in its general direction.

S: Zari tries to act more convincing before Rikku’s discerning eyes.

PMaK: Ikkin blasts her way out of the stone sphere and then fills it with furniture which she sets ablaze before blowing it all into Strife’s face. Huzzah!

Ma: Bluisa climbs aboard Celestial and feels tickled.

N: Cat Assassin, after being ruthlessly ignored by everyone present, jumps atop the Blarf. Boo-yah!

I: Marzia flies over the Black Beekadoodle and fires on it before blasting off again; Tigereye escapes the fray unscathed and finds the others in a small side room off one of the main halls, and to their displeasure, he says that they shall wait until the dust settles, and then, and only then, shall they strike.

PMaK: Kat continues battling, albeit with much skill, in a battle that’s still nonexistent.

Ne: And as this epic chapter comes to an epic close, Asthielle introduces herself to Rikku and asks her if she knows a Kalianne Triss, by chance. It’s rather ironic, you know, that now both of them are searching for the same person, unless, of course, Rikku forgot about finding the archmages in favor of fantasizing about Drakhé’s pears, which is so totally and wholly possible at this point.

But regardless, my incessant ramblings do little, and since, although still abnormally late, the NT came out on time this week, I’ve got no extra bonus pages to disclose, so I must regrettably (or rejoicefully, depending) bring this chapter to an official close already. Ergo, fin.

(( EDIT :: to add uber-linkage ))

[Amneiger]

I'm a Big Brother.

[PFA]

>_> You missed our posts about the nonexistent battle in the OOC thread. Keng's attempt at fixing the hole in the space/time continuum. No one ever edited the RP posts though.

There was also a very heated discussion on the WeewooBeekadoodle's godmodishness a few pages after that one. XDDD;; ...All these RP-important things mentioned in the OOC chat that never go mentioned in the RP.

Yay for the branch firing. :3

EDIT: Bacon's attempt at fixing the space/time continuum. And the Beekadoodle stuff starts on that same page.

[Deleted]

micrody said:

It’s rather ironic, you know, that now both of them are searching for the same person, unless, of course, Rikku forgot about finding the archmages in favor of fantasizing about Drakhé’s pears, which is so totally and wholly possible at this point.

Oh. Ye. Gods. This. Amuses. Me. So. Much.

*tentacle spear'd*

Why does everyone like to torment me OOC?! D:

[Celestial]

Ma: Celestial dreams of the silvery HQ on the moon before she wakes up and slyly alludes to the Darkest Faerie.

If you are talking about "The sleeper has awakened", that was a Dune reference but it is so obscure I'm not surprised that nobody got it. ^_^

[Deleted]

@pfa—

Thank you so much!

Seriously, the OoC thread is too big (and way to distracting >.>) for me to read in conjunciton with this, so I highly appreciate your bringing those threads of conversation to my attention.

If it'd be possible for someone to link me to all the genuinely important conversations in the OoC thread (including all those concerning my character or my posts, important or otherwise >.>), that'd be great and I'd be eternally grateful. :)

@kwoiffei—

Hmm, I thought Rikku'd be the one mroe amused.... XD

Celestial—

Oh, I see. f-_-

Well, the Darkest Faerie's also called the Sleeper, and since the NTWF is to Neopets as white is to rice, I'd just thought.... ._.`

[Rikku]

micrody said:

@pfa—

Thank you so much!

Seriously, the OoC thread is too big (and way to distracting >.>) for me to read in conjunciton with this, so I highly appreciate your bringing those threads of conversation to my attention.

If it'd be possible for someone to link me to all the genuinely important conversations in the OoC thread (including all those concerning my character or my posts, important or otherwise >.>), that'd be great and I'd be eternally grateful. :)

@kwoiffei—

Hmm, I thought Rikku'd be the one mroe amused.... XD

Celestial—

Oh, I see. f-_-

Well, the Darkest Faerie's also called the Sleeper, and since the NTWF is to Neopets as white is to rice, I'd just thought.... ._.`

Oh, believe me, I was amused. xD This summary keeps me giggling throughout.

[Rider]

Come on, guys, must the castle collapse in every Guild Wars? I know it’s not sentient like the Manor or the Ship, but it stands as a symbol of the Knights like the aforesaid stand for the Mages and the Pirates, respectively. No one would blatantly destroy either of those, or even the Ninja’s Dojo or the ‘Fleeters HQ, so why must the castle be so ill-treated?

[glow=red,2,300]You make it sound like we've had more than two wars. XD C'mon, your HQ isn't the only thing that gets trashed. XDDD

Though it was a very polite fire. >.>[/glow]

[Cyborg]

I know, Rider that's like people destroying the merc' HQ that is if they could find it without being assassinated by a merc. Though I wouldn't mind destroying the dojo just cause I no likey ninjas. Don't worry Vyt and PFA you two are fine with me.^_^

[Bacon]

Oh, I know! We should mutilate the Invisible Guild's HQ!![/jk]

[The Summarist]

seduphe said:

Oh, I know! We should mutilate the Invisible Guild's HQ!![/jk]

The problem with that is, well, it's invisible. -_-