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Post by Tashni on Apr 20, 2007 19:42:15 GMT -5
Mareian can’t read? 0_0 I thought Jeran taught her. Ack, must go refresh my memory of past stories! You're right. This is a prequel.  |
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Post by Kat on Apr 20, 2007 20:22:12 GMT -5
[glow=blue,2,300] In, Through, and By Brotherhood[/glow] Aww, that was a sweet story. It was really interesting to see Rohane and Reuben’s letters, especially since I already knew the characters. Nice to see the brothers in a more friendly, casual situation. Their teasing was amusing to read, as well. ^^ The ending was very sweet. Victory at last! But somehow I think this is just the start. XD I suppose this story would be difficult to understand if you hadn’t read your previous stories, but for someone who had read them, this is a lovely look into the characters’ personalities, as well as an important close to a chapter in the journey. :3 I can’t wait to see the next part of this ever-continuing series. [shadow=purple,left,300]Thanks for the review, Nut. ^^ And they wouldn't be brothers if they weren't teasing each other. XD[/shadow] |
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Post by Nut on Apr 21, 2007 5:23:17 GMT -5
Continued Series
[glow=blue,2,300]Revenge and Resistance: Part Two[/glow]
Ooh, things are really picking up here. ^^ I really like how you described the Lab Scientist; it really lent character to him, and your telling of his actions only strengthened that. I liked how he regarded Sloth with caution rather than jumping to his aid immediately. It’s nice to see him given an actual character for a change.
I love how Sloth omes off here: very evil, and watching an evil master plan play out is always great. This feels like it’s going to be a really exciting adventure—in fact, it already is. I was thoroughly interested throughout this whole chapter. I’m glad the focus has shifted away from you and your pets; it’s gotten much more interesting now that we’re reading about Sloth’s plan.
I am rather surprised that Sloth sent a single Buzz off to capture the Space Faerie… but I guess Sophix works best alone. I liked how she got the Space Faerie to come with her by threatening to blast someone other than the faerie herself.
Ooh, and now the custom pic’s star is coming into the story. It’s so exciting; I can’t wait to see the next chapter. ^^
[glow=blue,2,300]Catching Up: Part Ten[/glow]
I like how the action in this story flows so naturally that you don’t really notice what’s happening and just enjoy the story, then find you’ve progressed. Very daring of them to get Lillian out of the hospital that way…
This chapter feels a bit like buildup, but it was still fun to watch them escape. I can’t wait to see how things work out at the courthouse. ^^
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Post by Nut on Apr 21, 2007 5:24:08 GMT -5
Mareian can’t read? 0_0 I thought Jeran taught her. Ack, must go refresh my memory of past stories! You're right. This is a prequel. I read back through the other reviews after writing mine and realized that. ^^; That makes more sense. |
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Post by Nut on Apr 21, 2007 5:29:58 GMT -5
New Series
[glow=blue,2,300]Outsider Within: Web of Deceit – Part One[/glow]
Ohh, it’s the Zafara Double Agent. Will she be referred to as D.A. throughout the story?
This first chapter moved at a good pace, opening up right at the scene of the information leak. It wasn’t overly action-packed, but flowed at a nice clip and introduced characters that I’m really interested in seeing more of. Chief Henka is an interesting addition. I liked the bushy eyebrows description, too. XD
This feels like it’s going to be a really interesting story. You’ve planted the seeds of a great adventure of intrigue and betrayal. Love the title, too. I can’t wait to see the next part. ^^
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Post by Renna on Apr 21, 2007 12:42:24 GMT -5
Thanks for the feedback, Nut!  |
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Post by Tashni on Apr 21, 2007 13:12:08 GMT -5
Thanks! [shadow=red,left,300] Outside Within: Web of Deceit - Part One[/shadow] Oh, man. This is an absolutely awesome beginning. Not much plot or action, but the characters are fantastic, and while you gave little hint of what the plot is going to be when it thickens, this chapter certainly gave a sense of crap waiting to hit the fan. Chief Henka is really cool as a good guy with the air of a villain (or would it be the other way around?), and I love how D.A. is calm, cool, strong, and totally on top of her game no matter who she's dealing with. Even when she's offering deference to someone whom she no doubt knows doesn't like her, she loses none of her strength and calm dignity, and I find that really cool. I also like how she knows how to zing Henka without giving him anything on her. I really look forward to Part Two! *squeeee* I'm glad you like it. ^_^ I worked really hard on my characters, and I"m glad it's paying off. I was a little worried Chief Henka wouldn't come off right, but it seems like he is. Thanks for the review, Nut! Yes, she will be refered to as D.A. for the series. (I mean really, if you're a double agent, are you going to go around telling everyone?) I'm glad the speed of the chapter went nicely. I'm also sooo happy you like the title. I AGONIZED over it for weeks. |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2007 19:11:17 GMT -5
Petpet Problems Be Gone! by alexiacatlover_2727 (Saffy)
This was a nice article on obtaining a Petpet, very thorough and informative. Good job. ^_^
Some of the paragraphs seemed a bit choppy, so try to mix up the way you structure your sentences occasionally. Other than that, though, this was a well-written article.
Congratulations on your first publication.
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*happydance*