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Post by Nut on Apr 14, 2007 13:34:40 GMT -5
Article
[glow=blue,2,300]Discovering the Denizens of the Deep[/glow]
I really enjoyed that article. ^_^ The humor is quite entertaining and the blend of “facts” only adds to that. You write with an excellent voice for your character. His obsession with squid comes across realistically. I love the explanation of his name… XD Squee indeed. And I really liked the way he addressed the audience; it made me feel like I was in a lecture room listening to him. It was interesting how he kept talking about having conversations with the squids… you can tell he loves them to the point of mania. And yet he eats them…
I also found it amusing how he kept talking about the squids curiously poking you. I keep thinking that in reality something else might happen… but then, he is the expert on squid, so maybe he’s right. I don’t think I’ll try it. Likewise with the squid foods… although I did find a Squid on a Stick on the floor recently.
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Post by Kat on Apr 15, 2007 9:23:18 GMT -5
[shadow=purple,left,300]*crawls in*
Of Holes and Headaches - Komori and TC
Poor Petpets. I knew the Symol Hole was not a good idea! XD I love the art, and the joke was simple, yet not clichéd or predictable. Poor lil' Meepit.
Slippery Slorg - Tee and Aiyakhiori
Anyone would wake up at the sound a Slorg makes when it skids way too swiftly on a slippery floor. XD Cute!
Opportunist - Huntress
I should try that sometime. XDDDDDD Now, all we need is crowd control...but seriously, the panels with the crowd were really hilarious.
A.C.A.R.A. - Nadia
I knew there was a catch. XD And once again, comics teach us crazy Neopians a valuable lesson...a lesson I still have to learn... ^^;[/shadow]
Discovering the Denizens of the Deep - Pyro
...SQUEE! XD Sorry, self-confessed fangirl. I am not feigning fangirlish tendencies. Or maybe it's just the picture I got for my short story in issue 287. Anyhow, I loved the style in which the facts were presented, and how humor was injected every now and then.
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Post by Kat on Apr 15, 2007 11:06:47 GMT -5
[shadow=purple,left,300]A Sprinkling of Trouble - CV
The narrator = pwn. XD It was so hilarious and so ironic...definitely more than just your regular sprinkling of trouble. Even though it didn't flow as I thought it would (although I would attribute this to the narrator's perception of events), I still loved the plot, and loved the ending even more.
Easter in the Gnome Underground - Tyr
I AM CYBUNNY, HEAR ME ROAR! I couldn't resist. Anyhow, I have to admit, at first I thought it would be just another plot involving two pets stuck in a rut they have to get themselves out of - in this case, working. But I liked the sudden twists of the story that made it much more than I thought it was. [/shadow]
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Post by Nut on Apr 15, 2007 11:47:39 GMT -5
Short Stories[glow=blue,2,300] A Tiny Adventure[/glow] That was a cute little piece. ^^ Congratulations on your first short story. :3 The Zomutt is really cute. :3 The image of the tiny little scientist riding around on him… aww. I agree with the others that the bold and italics were kind of disruptive, and the wording was sometimes a little awkward, but I read most of it as part of the character’s slightly offbeat personality, which was rather charming. This jump in time caught me off-guard, maybe because you started the paragraph with another mention of time (“in just one moment”). Also, I don’t think the comma’s supposed to be there. I found that “therefore” to be kind of awkward. I felt kind of indifferent to the character while he was running around in his condition. If I’d seen some more of his feelings, some strong reason why he wanted to get back to his normal size, it would’ve been more interesting. The ending was very cute, though. ^^ [glow=blue,2,300] Sand Balls[/glow] Wow, that was a really funny story. XD You did a great job with this; I was a little nervous at first when the lines were so abrupt, but it usually worked out for the best humorous effect. And you began the story with a perfect hook—if the first line makes you crack up, you’re bound to want more. XD Speaking of which, the first line made me crack up. Brilliant. I love the Kougra’s character… he’s so obsessed with his own faultless self. XD His narrative is so casual and his personality comes across really clearly. I love the story’s fast pace; athough it seemed a bit choppy at times, the overall effect was a hilarious speedy ride. The overuse of adverbs was also done quite wittily.  That made me double-take… probably because sand balls aren’t a real item (or are they just a little-known item?), and I wasn’t sure how to envision a bunch of sand balls just lying around on the beach. I love the ending. And I can definitely see this story being inspired by someone who’s had too much sugar… XD [glow=blue,2,300] A Sprinkling of Trouble[/glow] Oh wow, that was hilarious. XD The beginning pulled me right in, and from there I was hooked. Everything I read only drew me in deeper. I adore the narrative, the peeks into this character’s mind, and the pure defiance of reason that goes on there. I love how the owner is so certain that the fault always lies with the other party. “Shocking” should be “shockingly”. I would still prefer the pet’s name to be capitalized, but I admit the lowercase didn’t really bother me in this story. *snerk* I admire your ability to write humor into every single paragraph. *shakes head in amazement* And the ending was fantastic. XD [glow=blue,2,300] Easter in the Gnome Underground[/glow] That was… interesting. I am afraid I was confused for about the first half of this story (maybe because it took me that long to realize that the story was not about Wingoball—I don’t know if it was the picture or my near-obsession with Wingoball World Challenges that gave me that idea), but I became more oriented when the Easter Cybunny showed up and things were a bit more normal. The talk with the evil Easter Cybunny was enjoyable, perhaps because it flowed pretty quickly, and I liked the very last line. Don’t you just love inanimate objects that come alive while you’re not looking? I thought the bold and italics could be a little much at times, though the rainbow letters were rather fun. I don’t think I quite understood the rainbow cubes; although I really liked the idea of a Gnome Underground, I didn’t really have a clear picture of it, or rather its normal function, seeing as it seemed to be turned upside-down with all the Easter hubbub. I thought the story moved a bit slowly up until it was about half through. Still, though, a creative idea. ^^
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Post by Tyrannitar on Apr 15, 2007 13:29:02 GMT -5
Thanks for all the reviews! ^^;; Even though a lot of people found it confusing, I'm glad you still enjoyed it in the long run!
The Easter Underground, as I imagine it, is basically just a long, dark, dirt tunnel. The Gnome EchQue (if you say it it's supposed to be HQ) is as is described.
The Rainbow Cubes thing... there's just a big cube that is created which nobody can get through. That's all.
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Post by Nut on Apr 15, 2007 16:41:48 GMT -5
Comics
[glow=blue,2,300]Of Holes and Headaches[/glow]
Oh, wow. XD That was a really cute comic. The poor Meepit… he looks so small and pink and helpless. XD Reminds me of naked mole rats.
That Meridell castle in the background helps break up the plain green and blue, and it’s just so cute. x33 But the expressions are what really makes this comic; I love how the Gelert is so happy and excited, and the giddy look on his face as he stares into the hole is just perfect. XDD The Meepit’s “waugh” face is great, too. The comic moved at a nice pace—that “thud” panel is the perfect pause. It’s actually my favorite panel. x3
The last panel gives a great impression of how far the Meepit fell. You create a perfect feel of perspective in the last panel despite the plain background. The joke in itself is cute, but the art really carries it. ^^
By the way, Meepits have fuzzy white pom-pom ball tails. x3 Just for future reference.
[glow=blue,2,300]Slippery Slorg?[/glow]
Haha, that’s a cute little comic. x3 The art is nice and unique, and the joke is cute. Heh, I didn’t even know that Slippery Floor Potion existed until I read this, but I didn’t need to because the name said it all. That’s a good thing when you’re dealing with little-known items.
I like how the Slorg broke through the two panels, to give the feeling of speed. I’d have liked it if the Slorg’s expression changed between the two panels he’s in; it’s a bit confusing as it is right now, because he doesn’t look shocked or anything that would indicate that moving at that speed is unusual for him.
I thought the moving wallpaper background, while interesting, was a little bit distracting, but that might just be me. All in all, a really cute comic. ^^
[glow=blue,2,300]Opportunist[/glow]
Ahahaha. XD I relate to Saura here. The art is great, as always. I love the crowd shots; you can really feel the pets pressing in against Shad and Saura. The Halloween Blumaroo in the first panel looked kind of flat and unshaded compared to the others, though. Maybe it was the big patch of flat red on the nose. The White Usul looked really spiffy though. :3 Loved the expression. You can tell she’s getting into it.
The speech bubbles right on the border of the second and third panels were a little too close together, I thought; I wasn’t quite sure who was speaking on first glance. But the picture of Saura slamming the guitar strings was fun. And I love how Shad managed to make the disagreement go his way even after he was proved wrong. XD This was an awesome comic, with a mini-storyline typical of your work. Great job. ^^
[glow=blue,2,300]Family Meeting[/glow]
…I first typed this title as “Family Meepits”. *cough* On to the review…
Haha, that sounds like something my pets would have to worry about. XD Luckily they’re used to me totally ignoring them and fending for themselves…
The art is really nice and I like the dramatic tension you build up with the lengthy talk and nervous expressions on the pets’ faces, plus all the shadows. Shading wouldn’t have hurt, but it worked out nice enough without it. It did feel a bit big, but that kind of added to its charm for me.
Glitter looks kind of crosseyed in the second-to-last panel, though. You can set the pupils more to the middle of the eye rather than the corner when someone’s looking straight ahead. =3
Haha, the exclamation points in the last panel remind me of the ones that appear over trainers’ heads in Pokemon… *brick’d* Well, I agree with Huntress that the panel might’ve been better off without those. Still, a very nice comic. ^^
[glow=blue,2,300]Anonymous Candy and Rude Awakenings[/glow]
Heh, this was cute. ^^ The Acara’s swirly-eyed expression in the last panel is amusing. And it’s nice how you drew in all the rows and rows of seats to make it really look like she’s sitting far away from the stage.
The joke was a little confusing to me at first, and I’m not entirely sure I got the gag you were aiming for, but I did find it amusing. Am I right in thinking that the Acara got a really bad seat? That’s a neat concept, really; I’d never thought about it before, but I guess any concert hall that uses stones for chairs is going to have varying seating quality. x3 Overall, a cute comic.
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Post by Nut on Apr 15, 2007 17:03:41 GMT -5
Continued Series
Wow, not many of these this week…
[glow=blue,2,300]Catching Up: Part Nine[/glow]
Ohh, this is an interesting development. Poor Ms. Evea… how unfortunate that she would be blamed for this accident. Lovely character interaction as always. Clocia seems like an interesting character, and I wouldn’t mind seeing more of her. I hope I do.
It’s sweet how all the faeries leap to their teacher’s rescue. I’m not sure how much they can do in the courts, but I’m eager to see how it goes in the next chapter.
[glow=blue,2,300]The Mirror of Memories: Part Eleven[/glow]
Wow, that was a fabulous ending. ^_^ I love how Kin saved the day… he’s so cute. ^^ I also liked how Aina didn’t really help out in the battle at all, but she had to be there in order to change history, because without her Kin wouldn’t have been there.
The climactic battle with Cel wasn’t as important, though, as what came after it. It was enjoyable to watch the characters interact and the epilogue play out. I was left feeling satisfied, and yet longing to know more.
A couple of little issues:
I think you forgot an “of”.
This should be “at Enzie and me”.
My favorite part came at the very end, when Aina opens the diary and finds it full of entries and photos. A lovely touch. And the last lines are really sweet. I hope she does visit them again soon. ^_^ All in all, a beautiful ending to a lovely series.
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Post by Nut on Apr 15, 2007 17:14:19 GMT -5
New Series
[glow=blue,2,300]Revenge and Resistance: Part One[/glow]
The. Custom. Is. Awesome.
I love the idea that Sloth is targeting Neopian Times writers who have been making fun of him. The Sloth Clones are scary… the scenes with them attacking and the neighbors not wanting to do anything are quite nicely done.
I think the first part of this chapter started out a little slowly; the repeated use of “the human” was a little grating. There are a lot of stories with this kind of owner-pet interaction in times of trouble, which always makes me suspicious, so it might’ve been better if you hadn’t opened with that. But if you’d been purposely saving the best for last, you managed that perfectly. The latter half of the chapter was very interesting and drew me in. I’m eager to see the next chapter. =3
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Post by Sq on Apr 15, 2007 22:30:30 GMT -5
[glow=blue,2,300] The Mirror of Memories: Part Eleven[/glow] Wow, that was a fabulous ending. ^_^ I love how Kin saved the day… he’s so cute. ^^ I also liked how Aina didn’t really help out in the battle at all, but she had to be there in order to change history, because without her Kin wouldn’t have been there. The climactic battle with Cel wasn’t as important, though, as what came after it. It was enjoyable to watch the characters interact and the epilogue play out. I was left feeling satisfied, and yet longing to know more. A couple of little issues: I think you forgot an “of”. This should be “at Enzie and me”. My favorite part came at the very end, when Aina opens the diary and finds it full of entries and photos. A lovely touch. And the last lines are really sweet. I hope she does visit them again soon. ^_^ All in all, a beautiful ending to a lovely series. Aw, thanks Nut! Glad you enjoyed it. ^^ Oh man, I've never been able to get that "and I/and me" thing down... XD I always get confused with those. Anyway, thanks so much for reviewing all these weeks! 'Tis greatly appreciated!  |
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Post by Nut on Apr 15, 2007 23:41:49 GMT -5
[glow=blue,2,300] The Mirror of Memories: Part Eleven[/glow] Wow, that was a fabulous ending. ^_^ I love how Kin saved the day… he’s so cute. ^^ I also liked how Aina didn’t really help out in the battle at all, but she had to be there in order to change history, because without her Kin wouldn’t have been there. The climactic battle with Cel wasn’t as important, though, as what came after it. It was enjoyable to watch the characters interact and the epilogue play out. I was left feeling satisfied, and yet longing to know more. A couple of little issues: I think you forgot an “of”. This should be “at Enzie and me”. My favorite part came at the very end, when Aina opens the diary and finds it full of entries and photos. A lovely touch. And the last lines are really sweet. I hope she does visit them again soon. ^_^ All in all, a beautiful ending to a lovely series. Aw, thanks Nut! Glad you enjoyed it. ^^ Oh man, I've never been able to get that "and I/and me" thing down... XD I always get confused with those. Anyway, thanks so much for reviewing all these weeks! 'Tis greatly appreciated! If you're not sure whether to use "I" or "me" in a case where there's two characters involved, you can test with only one person and see which sounds right... you wouldn't say "looking at I", would you? |
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Post by Sq on Apr 15, 2007 23:52:09 GMT -5
Aw, thanks Nut! Glad you enjoyed it. ^^ Oh man, I've never been able to get that "and I/and me" thing down... XD I always get confused with those. Anyway, thanks so much for reviewing all these weeks! 'Tis greatly appreciated! If you're not sure whether to use "I" or "me" in a case where there's two characters involved, you can test with only one person and see which sounds right... you wouldn't say "looking at I", would you? Hrm... I guess not. XD It does sound rather strange... *cough* Thanks for the tip! ^_^ |
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Post by Kat on Apr 16, 2007 1:22:41 GMT -5
[shadow=purple,left,300]And to complete my issue 286 reviews... Catching Up - Fj0rd...I kinda got lost as to which faerie was which, sorry. ^^; But don't worry, that was only on the first part. But yeah...looks like a climax is coming, and even though it wasn't super-duper hanging like whoa, you left the story at a very interesting cliffhanger. The Mirror of Memories - SytraWow, it's a strange feeling when a really long series comes to an end. Anyhow, I like how this last part is fast-paced, as if it's in a hurry to wrap everything up, and the ending was just touching. I'd sure like to find out how Malin and Enzie would react if they found Aina again after all those years...hmm, interesting idea for a sequel, no? Revenge and Resistance - DanWow, an interesting start to what promises to be an interesting series! I hope Sloth painted my cell purple and blue with gold stars Anyhow, I look forward to more from this plot, and I must say, I've always wondered what happened to authors who loved poking fun at ol' Slothy. Can I bring my Lisha and Jeran plushie set?[/shadow] |
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Post by sulamar on Apr 18, 2007 8:35:19 GMT -5
Feedback on 'Attack of the Petpetpet's'? I threw it together in 5 minutes (tacking pointless stuff on to meet the word limit  ), didn't look it over, and it was aimed at the little folk (younger audience). Eh? |
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), didn't look it over, and it was aimed at the little folk (younger audience).