Issue 286 Reviews

[Dan]

micrody said:

Revenge and Resistance: Part One by Dan
This served as a nice opening for a series, I feel.

The hook seemed a little weak and a bit wordy, and your constant using of "the figure," "the human," and "the Gelert" added to this; using names more often would have made the characters seem realer, I think. As well, you referred to his "pets," yet if any mention of any pet aside from the Gelert was made, it was swept aside by what was happening and I missed it.

The neighbors still stood rooted to the spot. It was too captivating to watch. But as the capsule left, and then the clones, the assorted Neopets and humans turned to return to their beds. They weren’t going to worry themselves about it. Stranger things had happened in Neopia, and honestly, they didn’t really care that a family had just been abducted and imprisoned. But most of all, they returned to their beds because tomorrow was a weekday. They had work or school tomorrow. There were more pressing matters than a sudden kidnapping.

That was a harrowing image, I feel, very well done.

Things truly began picking up for me after Dan and his pets had been shipped away. Then, it seemed, a true hook was given. That played out well, though it would have been nicer to have the hook appear sooner.

The final scene with Sloth and his minions definitely set up intrigue for me to keep reading, so I certainly await the next part.

XD The problem with using names is...well, my pets have lame names. XDD And yeah, there were 4 pets but I figured the real focus wasn't on who they were, it was on the kidnapping. But sorry for the confusion. ^^;;

I'm glad you like that quote. That was an important part for me to write and I wanted it just right, and I think it came out that way.

Thank you both for reading this! ^_^

[Deleted]

dan4848 said:

XD The problem with using names is...well, my pets have lame names. XDD And yeah, there were 4 pets but I figured the real focus wasn't on who they were, it was on the kidnapping. But sorry for the confusion. ^^;;

There wasn't much confusion about four pets, it just seemed rather unfair that only one was focused on. -_-

And I can understand about the names. Why not give them nicknames then?

[Dan]

I've got time for a few reviews. ^_^

Of Holes and Headaches: I really like the art and the last panel is funny. TC's script was good. XD And it's nice seeing a different scene from you, Komori. ^_^ Don't get me wrong, I love Spooky, but it's a nice change to see a brighter colored scene for once. XD

Slippery Slorg: I like the art. It's very vibrantly colored and appealing, and I really like the slorg breaking through the panel. Cute. ^_^ But I think it might've been better if you used something different than a "slippery floor potion." I'm sure there are a ton of things that could make a floor slippery if spilled.

Opportunist: Love the "GYAAAAH" in the first panel. XDD Awesome comic. Love your attention to backgrounds and details, and the art is very nice as always.

Family Meeting: Art's very well done, and I totally see this happening in Kat's house. XD Good job guys!

A.C.A.R.A. : Very nice art, though I think the ones lacking a background could have been made better with one, as it's sort of bland without them. But I like the joke! I never thought about it like that. XD

Sand Balls: This story was awesome. XD I was definitely getting a Lemony Snicket vibe while reading it. Although I did find a few grammatical errors, they didn't detract from the story or confuse me very much. Good job you two. Great story. ^_^

A Sprinkling of Trouble: Wonderful wonderful story. Loved the comedy, which was spot-on. This and Sand Balls kept the laughs coming, something very rare in the Times these days. In fact, I laughed more here than in all the comics this week combined, I think. XD I really enjoyed this story. Keep the stories coming!

[Tashni]

Revenge and Resistance: Part One by Dan - I am really excited about this series! The beginning started with a bang, and it slipped seamlessly into a comedy/action series. There is already a lot going on, and I can't wait to see what's next. Oh, and AWESOMELY AWESOME CUSTOM PIC!!

[Dan]

tashni said:

Revenge and Resistance: Part One by Dan - I am really excited about this series! The beginning started with a bang, and it slipped seamlessly into a comedy/action series. There is already a lot going on, and I can't wait to see what's next. Oh, and AWESOMELY AWESOME CUSTOM PIC!!

Thanks! ^_^ I <3 the custom pic too.

[Sq]

micrody said:

The Mirror of Memories: Part Eleven by Sytra
That was a wonderful ending to a most-wonderful series, Sytra, and I quite enjoyed reading it every week. It's hard to imagine that nearly three months have passed since I started reading it, yet it's true, they have. Thank you, for making these past eleven weeks so much more enjoyable.

I really don't know what to say beyond that. You perfectly and satisfactorily wrapped up the entire series in this part, and there's no better ending than one that does just that. I was very pleased watching the events unfold, and I have so much hope for Aina to go see Malin and Enzie now that's she's home again - I'm sure they will all be so excited by meeting once again after twenty years (or two days, lol).

That's one thing I've noticed in reading your stories: where you end them, it's perfect, but there's that feeling that so much more will happen, could happen. That's a great way to end a story, I feel, that the story's over but you know there's so much more to come, even if it'll never make another story. It just makes it seem so much more real to me.

This was an awesome series, Sytra, and you truly wrote it amazingly well.

Eeeee! Zank ye, Wolfy! *glomp* I'm really glad you liked it...!

I tried something different this time, going to a happy ending. I'm glad I did. I originally had a sad ending planned, but I realized that with such a sarcastic and slightly-comical series, it wouldn't have fit. At all. *doesn't know what she was thinking*

But yeah. Faerie-tale ending was good, then? I'm kind of afraid of perfect endings, and I almost never write them, so... it was a big change for me! XD

I really appreciate the reviews you've been doing the past weeks, even though I've been absent from the forum and neo (did anyone happen to notice? XD).

Oh, and... you're welcome. Heeh.

But most of all... THANK YOU! ;D To you and all of my other reviewers! I luff ye.

[Kat]

dan4848 said:

Family Meeting: Art's very well done, and I totally see this happening in Kat's house. XD Good job guys!

[shadow=purple,left,300]It's happening right now. XDDD Thanks for the review.

Kat shall review! But yeah...also have to finish my reviews for April Fool's. ^^;

A Tiny Adventure - Dimitris
*snicker* The title was extremely appropriate.

Anyhow, I liked how the plot was simple and yet so well-written, but the parts in bold leapt out at me...it would have been better if they'd been italicized, but then again, Kat abuses the italics so she's probably just used to them. XD I look forward to more of your stories.

Sand Balls - Fj0rd and Goosher
The first line really got me. XD

Anyway, this was an extremely interesting read. Some parts seemed rather abrupt, but then again, this can be attributed to the fact that everything was being told in the Kougra's perspective. And it ended so perfectly. XD

More reviews from yours truly soon![/shadow]

[Dimi]

amateurwriter said:

A Tiny Adventure - Dimitris
*snicker* The title was extremely appropriate.

Anyhow, I liked how the plot was simple and yet so well-written, but the parts in bold leapt out at me...it would have been better if they'd been italicized, but then again, Kat abuses the italics so she's probably just used to them. XD I look forward to more of your stories.

Thanks for the review. No bolds next time... *notes down*

[Tashni]

Discovering the Denizens of the Deep by Pyro - I REALLY liked this article, and I don't often say that about articles. You had a great voice going for the Professor, and you maintained it throughout. With that voice, you managed to keep the entire article interesting despite the fact that the article is describing something that does not technically exist! (That's a really big difficulty with writing Neo articles, it's hard to make them interesting.) ANWAY. Great job, I just wanted to point out a couple small problems:

They . . . enjoyed my screaming like a girl, which I did solely for their benefit.

The object here is wrong. When you say "like a girl," it sounds like that is refering to the squid, not the Prof.

Of course you can eat any of the five basic squid; of course, eating a Titanic Giant Squid (much less catching one) could cause some...

I'm not sure if you did this on purpose, but I don't like the use of "of course" twice in one sentence.

[Birdy]

~Comics~

Of Holes and Headaches by Komori and tambourine_chimp

Awww, poor Meepit.
Anywho, Good job you two! I liked it. (Meridell Castle in the background is a nice touch.


Slippery Slorg by Tee and Aiyakhiori

;D Good one! I liked it.


Opportunist by Hunty

XD Good one! I liked it.


Family Meeting by Kat and Manda

*giggles* I liked this!


A.C.A.R.A. by Nadia

Cute. It looks like you coloured it with coloured pencils. (Which I like.)

[Birdy]

Discovering the Denizens of the Deep by Pyro

XD Love the first two paragraphs. X3

Please direct your attention to the projection screen,

O.O Ooooo... Shiny... *pokes and gets her hand thwap'd*

If you do not stop that uncouth snickering, sir, I will fry you, paperwork or not.

XD

...or poke them repeatedly,

Again: XD

I myself can’t say why—squid has a distinct flavor and is very tasty, though a little slimy.

Ew.


Overall, a great article! I liked it muchly! ;D

[Birdy]

~Short Stories~

A Tiny Adventure by Dimi

*smiles* Cute story, I liked it.


Sand Balls by fj0rd and yours truly

I softly wiped the sand off my handsome face and turned to face my malicious attacker.

I've had sand thrown in my face before. Not fun.

Not my opponent, but a sunbathing Blumaroo's prized pink Weewoo plushie.

D8 Nooooo! Not the Weewoo!

flew through the air as sweetly as any Weewoo,

Weewoo!

The End

But, but, what about his owner? Did he just leave him there?


Anywho, overall, a good story! I liked it!


A Sprinkling of Trouble by CV

It was time to commence SOCKS (Search Operation Concerning Kidnapped Sprinkle).

Cool acronym.

If were a word,

You mean it's not?!

Overall, a good read! I liked it!


Easter in the Gnome Underground by Tyrannitar


Cute story - I liked it.

[Birdy]

Revenge and Resistance: Part One by Dan

Oooh... Good first part! I can't wait to read the next.

And reading this has given me an idea of how to make one of my story ideas work! ;D Thankies! *hands you a cucumber and dashes off*

[Dan]

birdy said:

Revenge and Resistance: Part One by Dan

Oooh... Good first part! I can't wait to read the next.

And reading this has given me an idea of how to make one of my story ideas work! ;D Thankies! *hands you a cucumber and dashes off*

^_^ You're welcome.

[Dimi]

birdy said:

~Short Stories~

A Tiny Adventure by Dimi

*smiles* Cute story, I liked it.

Thankies! ^^