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Post by Deleted on Jul 31, 2006 9:17:06 GMT -5
[/u] The Cheesy Villains Awards by dan4884 and blubblub317Tell you what, the title made me a little apprehensive at first because I wondered if it would seem a bit cliche (I think it was Sloth's picture that made me apprehensive, actually.  *shudders*). One paragraph later, I had totally forgotten why I was skeptical in the first place. You two really pumped out some really cool (and outrageous) awards. Blub, Dan, this was awesome! I really enjoyed it. The "Roffle" factor increased as the article progressed. My personal favourite award was the Hottest Villain Award (*swoons over Razul*) not just because of Razul but because of Taelia's cheesiness. She rules.  Running a close second is the Most Tastiest Villain Award. My slow brain totally figured out that the *beep* Chia was actually the Jelly Chia five minutes too late. I also loved the Sloth and the Slothettes. Blub, did you write that cheesy song? 'Cause I have a feeling you did. If Dan wrote it, though, my hat's off to you, cheesy grandfather. Honestly, I wish the song could have been a little longer because I was enjoying it. But the audience had to throw tomatoes. Boo. The only thing I didn't quite like was Sloth winning the Worst Costume Award but only because I totally expected it. I would have liked it more if someone else won and Sloth tried to steal the award for himself. Hehe... Anyway, overall, a Roffle read with lines worthy of being MQs. Great job, Dad and Gramps.  [/quote] o___o YOUR slow brain? I read this yesterday or the day before, and I STILL hadn't figured out who *beep* Chia was! *faints* Well, um, I'm off to read something so I can do a review. ^^[/quote] Seems I have a quick brain... I knew what it was instantly -_- |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 31, 2006 9:31:11 GMT -5
Battledome-ify Your Neopian Times ItemsGood article, you two. I appreciated that you found different uses for these items than "throw it," "hit your opponent with it," etc. But then, I expected that from both of you. Although I agree with whoever else said it that some of these descriptions were funnier to me than others, you did a good job finding a plausible use for each item. And it seemed that their uses became more serious as the list went on. It was good for Neopian Times Issue 3 you put "Hurl those entertaining pages at your opponent, and while they are distracted by the illustrious comics and stories, pull out a more damaging weapon… " to show that you don't think it will actually do a lot of damage. I thought I was going to do more reviews, but I really don't feel too well at the moment. Maybe a little later. This one will probably see some editing, then, too. Thanks for the review, Luau, hope you feel better soon ^_^ Some reviews... Hopefully will get through everything eventually, but this'll have to do for a start xD ArticlesThe Cheesy Villains Awards by dan4884 & blubblub317 Haha, this was pretty funny ^^ I haven't read an article written in this style in quite some time, but it worked really well. I have to admit, I'm not a great fan of the writers talking / interview / that kind of stuff in an article, and when I saw that the whole article was written in that style, I didn't really want to read on  But I'm glad I did, it was really funny ^_^ I loved the whole *beep* chia thing, you carried on the joke long enough to keep it funny, but didn't overdo it. Interesting choices for presenters of the awards, and also interesting choices for the winners of each award, except, as has already been said, I felt that sloth was a little cliche, and he also had plenty of other mentions in the article from the whole secuirty guard aspect. I think my favourite part was either the song (so cool, Sloth and the Slothettes, that made me laugh so hard xD) or when Masila was presenting the asplosion award. All in all, I really enjoyed it, awesome job ^_^ Attack of the Slorgs: This is NOT a Game Guide by squire_genevieve This was really nice  You made a lot of original points and it made total sense to me, something which I was quite pleased about as I have only played the game maybe twice, and assumed a lot of it would be over my head xD As has already been mentioned, some of the sentences seemed to drift on a bit, but it wasn't a huge problem. I liked the rhetorical questions in there and all of the little jokes you brought in, they made the article very entertaining. I look forward to reading more of your work in the Times ^^ Making Its Mark by o_apollo_oI really enjoyed this article, it had an original slant on the whole special-issue-of-the-NT thing, and it threw in a lot of information that I hadn't really considered before ^_^ Affinities for dung and the snoogy? Never knew that before xD It flowed nicely also, and I particularly liked that the article was the thought process, rather than being a polished and unexplained article, if that makes any sense whatsoever. Starting out with the use of all of the NT items also was nice, introducing the reader to the mindset of you/the fictional writer. I can't really think of much else to say about it, I know I should be giving some concrit, but yeah ^^; Just a really nice, thoughtful piece Why the Haunted Woods Beat the Darigan Citadel by lassie_nikki"surprised as the next gelert" - you're writing as a gelert?  Nothing wrong with that, but if confused me a bit... The rest of the article was very enjoyable, however, with several reasons I wouldn't even have considered. The little jokes were nice and lightened the mood and feel to the article, especially when you talked about the meepit that heard from another meepit that... Yeah ^_^ My one issue with this was that you shifted tenses when referring to the game. For example, at one point you said- "is their lack of practice ", should have been was I think, because later you refer to the game in the past tense, which makes more sense- "was undeniably weaker ". Those are probably bad examples, but hopefully you understand what I mean It's not really that noticeable, except as I'm reviewing, I was specifically looking for something I could criticise to make this reivew a tiny bit constructive xD A Gnawing Curiosity by literalluauThis has to be one of my favourite articles. I couldn't explain exactly why, but I just loved the character you portrayed in Leona, and the way in which she 'discovered' everything. To be honest, it felt almost more like a short story than an article, but I can see why you classified it as an article. You made many good points through Leona, and it was a thoroughly interesting read. If I'm going to pick ossmething to criticise, it's that the custom pic doesn't really fit Leona, something out of your control I know  Neopets complaint department? Pfft xD The Art of Fishing by mygoodguildVery nice The article was lively and original, no easy thing with such a popular topic as fishing. The description of the fishing related gnomes was really cute, as was the way that you tied in the art concept in the second to last paragraph. Personally, I found that there were perhaps a few too many exclamation marks and that some seemed unnecessary or fake, but this is very easy to do in an article- it's a problem I seem to have with my articles quite often. Overall this was a nice read, good job ^_^ Influential Ideas by tdyansI had no idea where most of these ideas had originally come from =o Heck, I didn't even know the Dr_Death's co-worker had a name, let alone that it was created via a comic in the NT. IT felt as though there should perhaps be more ideas than just the three- once you started pointing them out, I got interested in how many others there must have been, and it seemed to end quite abruptly. Still, I can understand why you would not want it to drag on for too long. This either represents dedication to the NT or an awful lot of research to track down the people who initiated the ideas. I'm guessing it's a combination of both, but even so, I can't think of many people who could attempt an article like this and make such a nice job of it. Whew. Articles done.. Short stories and comics to come for sure, and maybe series if I have enough time ^_^ |
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Post by Deleted on Jul 31, 2006 13:06:10 GMT -5
Thanks you, Doughnut!  *feels all warm and fuzzy* Oh, and check back this evening, because I plan to finish that review. I began feeling sick right in the middle of it, that's why it kinda cuts off halfway through. I tend to write narrative articles. It just feels good that way. I guess in real life they'd be called narrative essays, but meh. I agree with you about my picture; it's not my favorite either.  |
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Post by Retired Blub on Jul 31, 2006 15:42:50 GMT -5
[/u] The Cheesy Villains Awards by dan4884 and blubblub317Tell you what, the title made me a little apprehensive at first because I wondered if it would seem a bit cliche (I think it was Sloth's picture that made me apprehensive, actually. *shudders*). One paragraph later, I had totally forgotten why I was skeptical in the first place. You two really pumped out some really cool (and outrageous) awards. Blub, Dan, this was awesome! I really enjoyed it. The "Roffle" factor increased as the article progressed. My personal favourite award was the Hottest Villain Award (*swoons over Razul*) not just because of Razul but because of Taelia's cheesiness. She rules. Running a close second is the Most Tastiest Villain Award. My slow brain totally figured out that the *beep* Chia was actually the Jelly Chia five minutes too late. I also loved the Sloth and the Slothettes. Blub, did you write that cheesy song? 'Cause I have a feeling you did. If Dan wrote it, though, my hat's off to you, cheesy grandfather. Honestly, I wish the song could have been a little longer because I was enjoying it. But the audience had to throw tomatoes. Boo. The only thing I didn't quite like was Sloth winning the Worst Costume Award but only because I totally expected it. I would have liked it more if someone else won and Sloth tried to steal the award for himself. Hehe... Anyway, overall, a Roffle read with lines worthy of being MQs. Great job, Dad and Gramps. [/quote] Thanks Belle! We were brain-dead by the time we had to choose a title, so we chose the most cliched one possible. XD And surprise, surprise, Dan actually wrote the Sloth and the Slothettes part. But all those awards you mentioned (minus Worst Costume)...moi. >_> *steals Dan's thunder* |
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Post by Retired Blub on Jul 31, 2006 15:44:25 GMT -5
Battledome-ify Your Neopian Times ItemsGood article, you two. I appreciated that you found different uses for these items than "throw it," "hit your opponent with it," etc. But then, I expected that from both of you. Although I agree with whoever else said it that some of these descriptions were funnier to me than others, you did a good job finding a plausible use for each item. And it seemed that their uses became more serious as the list went on. It was good for Neopian Times Issue 3 you put "Hurl those entertaining pages at your opponent, and while they are distracted by the illustrious comics and stories, pull out a more damaging weapon… " to show that you don't think it will actually do a lot of damage. I thought I was going to do more reviews, but I really don't feel too well at the moment. Maybe a little later. This one will probably see some editing, then, too. Thanks for the review, Luau, hope you feel better soon ^_^ Some reviews... Hopefully will get through everything eventually, but this'll have to do for a start xD ArticlesThe Cheesy Villains Awards by dan4884 & blubblub317 Haha, this was pretty funny ^^ I haven't read an article written in this style in quite some time, but it worked really well. I have to admit, I'm not a great fan of the writers talking / interview / that kind of stuff in an article, and when I saw that the whole article was written in that style, I didn't really want to read on But I'm glad I did, it was really funny ^_^ I loved the whole *beep* chia thing, you carried on the joke long enough to keep it funny, but didn't overdo it. Interesting choices for presenters of the awards, and also interesting choices for the winners of each award, except, as has already been said, I felt that sloth was a little cliche, and he also had plenty of other mentions in the article from the whole secuirty guard aspect. I think my favourite part was either the song (so cool, Sloth and the Slothettes, that made me laugh so hard xD) or when Masila was presenting the asplosion award. All in all, I really enjoyed it, awesome job ^_^ Attack of the Slorgs: This is NOT a Game Guide by squire_genevieve This was really nice You made a lot of original points and it made total sense to me, something which I was quite pleased about as I have only played the game maybe twice, and assumed a lot of it would be over my head xD As has already been mentioned, some of the sentences seemed to drift on a bit, but it wasn't a huge problem. I liked the rhetorical questions in there and all of the little jokes you brought in, they made the article very entertaining. I look forward to reading more of your work in the Times ^^ Making Its Mark by o_apollo_oI really enjoyed this article, it had an original slant on the whole special-issue-of-the-NT thing, and it threw in a lot of information that I hadn't really considered before ^_^ Affinities for dung and the snoogy? Never knew that before xD It flowed nicely also, and I particularly liked that the article was the thought process, rather than being a polished and unexplained article, if that makes any sense whatsoever. Starting out with the use of all of the NT items also was nice, introducing the reader to the mindset of you/the fictional writer. I can't really think of much else to say about it, I know I should be giving some concrit, but yeah ^^; Just a really nice, thoughtful piece Why the Haunted Woods Beat the Darigan Citadel by lassie_nikki"surprised as the next gelert" - you're writing as a gelert? Nothing wrong with that, but if confused me a bit... The rest of the article was very enjoyable, however, with several reasons I wouldn't even have considered. The little jokes were nice and lightened the mood and feel to the article, especially when you talked about the meepit that heard from another meepit that... Yeah ^_^ My one issue with this was that you shifted tenses when referring to the game. For example, at one point you said- "is their lack of practice ", should have been was I think, because later you refer to the game in the past tense, which makes more sense- "was undeniably weaker ". Those are probably bad examples, but hopefully you understand what I mean It's not really that noticeable, except as I'm reviewing, I was specifically looking for something I could criticise to make this reivew a tiny bit constructive xD A Gnawing Curiosity by literalluauThis has to be one of my favourite articles. I couldn't explain exactly why, but I just loved the character you portrayed in Leona, and the way in which she 'discovered' everything. To be honest, it felt almost more like a short story than an article, but I can see why you classified it as an article. You made many good points through Leona, and it was a thoroughly interesting read. If I'm going to pick ossmething to criticise, it's that the custom pic doesn't really fit Leona, something out of your control I know Neopets complaint department? Pfft xD The Art of Fishing by mygoodguildVery nice The article was lively and original, no easy thing with such a popular topic as fishing. The description of the fishing related gnomes was really cute, as was the way that you tied in the art concept in the second to last paragraph. Personally, I found that there were perhaps a few too many exclamation marks and that some seemed unnecessary or fake, but this is very easy to do in an article- it's a problem I seem to have with my articles quite often. Overall this was a nice read, good job ^_^ Influential Ideas by tdyansI had no idea where most of these ideas had originally come from =o Heck, I didn't even know the Dr_Death's co-worker had a name, let alone that it was created via a comic in the NT. IT felt as though there should perhaps be more ideas than just the three- once you started pointing them out, I got interested in how many others there must have been, and it seemed to end quite abruptly. Still, I can understand why you would not want it to drag on for too long. This either represents dedication to the NT or an awful lot of research to track down the people who initiated the ideas. I'm guessing it's a combination of both, but even so, I can't think of many people who could attempt an article like this and make such a nice job of it. Whew. Articles done.. Short stories and comics to come for sure, and maybe series if I have enough time ^_^ *hugs* Again, thank you for the review.  I wasn't expecting so many reviews for it. ^^ Tay - Oh dear, I was a bit worried some people wouldn't get the *BEEP* Chia reference. I didn't realize it would be this serious. |
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Post by nikki on Jul 31, 2006 18:18:57 GMT -5
Eh That gelert thing was just to mean that I was as surprised as the next guy. I just randomly said gelert because it started with g? =/ haha, I know, I'm dumb I see what you mean about the tenses changing ^^ thanks for the review! |
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Post by Tashni on Jul 31, 2006 18:45:13 GMT -5
A couple more reviews for my comic "Little Orby" would be really appreciated!
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Post by hmlanden on Jul 31, 2006 22:40:12 GMT -5
Can I get some reviews for "So Many Times"? How do you get the avvie if you were in the issue? EDIT: Never mind. That was a stupid question, lol. |
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Post by Tay - Sock Eater on Jul 31, 2006 23:57:15 GMT -5
Hehe, Blub, no worries about BEEP! Chia. I'm a little slow Thanks for the wonderful review. I get that a lot, about the exclamation marks. It's one of my worst problems... Next time I'm writing and editing, I'll look out for that especially <3 |
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Post by troublems03 on Aug 1, 2006 1:35:14 GMT -5
Attack of the Slorgs: This is NOT a Game Guide by squire_genevieve This was really nice You made a lot of original points and it made total sense to me, something which I was quite pleased about as I have only played the game maybe twice, and assumed a lot of it would be over my head xD As has already been mentioned, some of the sentences seemed to drift on a bit, but it wasn't a huge problem. I liked the rhetorical questions in there and all of the little jokes you brought in, they made the article very entertaining. I look forward to reading more of your work in the Times ^^ Thanks so much for the review. |
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Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2006 10:58:00 GMT -5
Can I get some reviews for "So Many Times"? How do you get the avvie if you were in the issue? EDIT: Never mind. That was a stupid question, lol. Landen, this story was great! One of the best stories, in my opinion, that I've ever read in the Neopian Times. The voice of Listeria is well-defined, and the emotions she speaks of are indescribable and so very true. They are not muddied by misconceptions of how things feel; they are honest and meaningful. That raw, unadulterated emotion is an awesome thing in writing, and I've seen it perfected so well as this in few things that I've read in the Neopian Times. I'd love to give some concrit, but I don't think you need it. I saw no errors in anything: your grammar was flawless and your spelling, impenetrable. The story wasn't too long, nor was it too short. It was the perfect size. Everything that needed to be said, was said, and said in a perfect, moving, and flawless way. Thank you for asking for reviews; if you had not, I would not have read such an amazing story.
Reviews for my short story, "Patience," would still be appreciated. |
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Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2006 12:47:10 GMT -5
Reviews still coming up... n:D
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Post by hmlanden on Aug 1, 2006 13:40:33 GMT -5
Can I get some reviews for "So Many Times"? How do you get the avvie if you were in the issue? EDIT: Never mind. That was a stupid question, lol. Landen, this story was great! One of the best stories, in my opinion, that I've ever read in the Neopian Times. The voice of Listeria is well-defined, and the emotions she speaks of are indescribable and so very true. They are not muddied by misconceptions of how things feel; they are honest and meaningful. That raw, unadulterated emotion is an awesome thing in writing, and I've seen it perfected so well as this in few things that I've read in the Neopian Times. I'd love to give some concrit, but I don't think you need it. I saw no errors in anything: your grammar was flawless and your spelling, impenetrable. The story wasn't too long, nor was it too short. It was the perfect size. Everything that needed to be said, was said, and said in a perfect, moving, and flawless way. Thank you for asking for reviews; if you had not, I would not have read such an amazing story.
Reviews for my short story, "Patience," would still be appreciated. Wow. That's the best review I've ever gotten. Thanks! *glomp* For that, I'll review your story. You have made a very happy Landen. M'kay, it seems a little underdeveloped. I don't exactly what gave me that impression, and I wish I could tell you, but...heh. The grasshopper joke was funny at first, but you overdid it a bit. It seems that you jump back and forth between emotions without any transition whatsoever. Very moody blumaroo, he is. Your writing style is...different. It seems choppy and flow-y (That doesn't make sense, does it?). I have a feeling that, with time, you can become an impressive writer. But you need to work on developing a character, a story, and a setting. Things you may know in your head are unknown to the reader. You gotta let us know. Hope I helped somewhat. |
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Post by Star on Aug 1, 2006 14:08:25 GMT -5
Here I am to finish this week's reviews! If I missed your -whatever-, because it's not on Tashni's list, tell me and I'll try to review it. The Issue 250 Delivery by shadowcristal & precious_katuch14This was a nice story. I liked it. It was well-written and things were described nicely. Good job! One Bar of Chocolate by star_29791I loved this story! It was incredibly easy-to-read, not too long, and had incredible flow. The characters were nicely laid out and worked well with one another. Everything fit in place, too. The ending was priceless, but I must ask, were any Weewoos harmed in the making of this story? *hehehe* Like I said, I loved this one. Thank you! I was wondering if it was too short but I guess not! And of course, no Weewoos were harmed! They were all asleep with earplugs in so couldn't hear the scream. |
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Post by Star on Aug 1, 2006 14:15:24 GMT -5
Patience by micrody
I liked the beginning when his Sensei kept calling him grasshopper- I found that very funny. The middle bit was easier to read than I would've thought and the ending was just perfect. It was just the right length and the tone was perfect as well. I really liked this. A great story.
Any reviews for One Bar of Chocolate is appreciated!
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But I'm glad I did, it was really funny ^_^ I loved the whole *beep* chia thing, you carried on the joke long enough to keep it funny, but didn't overdo it. Interesting choices for presenters of the awards, and also interesting choices for the winners of each award, except, as has already been said, I felt that sloth was a little cliche, and he also had plenty of other mentions in the article from the whole secuirty guard aspect. I think my favourite part was either the song (so cool, Sloth and the Slothettes, that made me laugh so hard xD) or when Masila was presenting the asplosion award. All in all, I really enjoyed it, awesome job ^_^
You made a lot of original points and it made total sense to me, something which I was quite pleased about as I have only played the game maybe twice, and assumed a lot of it would be over my head xD As has already been mentioned, some of the sentences seemed to drift on a bit, but it wasn't a huge problem. I liked the rhetorical questions in there and all of the little jokes you brought in, they made the article very entertaining. I look forward to reading more of your work in the Times ^^
Nothing wrong with that, but if confused me a bit... The rest of the article was very enjoyable, however, with several reasons I wouldn't even have considered. The little jokes were nice and lightened the mood and feel to the article, especially when you talked about the meepit that heard from another meepit that... Yeah ^_^ My one issue with this was that you shifted tenses when referring to the game. For example, at one point you said- "is their lack of practice ", should have been was I think, because later you refer to the game in the past tense, which makes more sense- "was undeniably weaker ". Those are probably bad examples, but hopefully you understand what I mean 
Neopets complaint department? Pfft xD
I wasn't expecting so many reviews for it. ^^
