249 Reviews

[Dan]

Chronicles Part Eleven by Nimras-

Great setup for the last part, however there's something I've wanted to address and I think now's a good time. This may be just me, but I think this story would be more exciting if you tried making a cliffhanger for the ending, to pull the reader in again? Some of the lines at the end of parts just drift off, and I have to say my favorite ending was the one where the Skeleton Draik came for Athless. This part especially could've used a really exciting cliffhanger, perhaps bringing Mareian out for the cliffhanger? Just a thought. ^^ Other than that, though, this was a good part. And Darcy, eh? I'm surprised you got away with the death and blood, but I'm glad you got it through, as it makes the story much better. Nice job, can't wait for the ending.

[Tyrannitar]

First reviews in a while! NOTE: I'm mean.

Fight - Interesting topic, great to see snow again. I've always liked your artwork; it's not Linny but it's still good.

Flotsam Question - I don't think a lot of people really think of it that way, but original nonethless.

Triple Negative - Interesting topic, managed to force a snort. Nice art.

Gallion Ranch - LOL @ Script, nice art.

The Locker Room - The artwork was nice, but pets spazzing out at other things are beginning to get a bit more common than usual. Nice comic anyway.

Luntaicity #5 - There's a lot of snow popping up in comics recently. -wants it to snow instead of being blistering hot- Interesting comic, cute graphics; they remind me of Haboo Hotel. (yes that's good)

No Game Here - Haha, nice comic. Kinda reminds me of my Sanity Obsolete one Mynci Volleyball. Good art.

If anyone's offended by the above, I am sorry, I'm just a bit tired right now and cranky from the heat. Kawaii at all of you!

[Draeroz]

tyrannitar said:

Luntaicity #5 - There's a lot of snow popping up in comics recently. -wants it to snow instead of being blistering hot- Interesting comic, cute graphics; they remind me of Haboo Hotel. (yes that's good)

Hey, you're talkin' 'bout someone who hasn't got snow in his region and though I don't know a thing of Haboo Hotel (once heard of it, never bothered 'bout it) but thanks for the comment.

[Pacmanite]

tashni said:

Gallion Ranch by hakuryu_86 & pacmanite - Ha! That's funny 'cuz people do that. (Me, for instance.) The art was nice and simple, too. Very clean looking.

xD Thanks! (I was thinking my outlines were a bit messy, though)

tyrannitar said:

First reviews in a while! NOTE: I'm mean.

...

Gallion Ranch - LOL @ Script, nice art.

Thanks for the comment
You call yourself mean? Buahahaha! (mean-ish crit below)


Fight! by ssjelitegirl
lol, I like it! As said before, the facial expressions are brilliant. I also like the way the faeries' hair sits on the snow. Saura's mouth isn't quite right, but it work'd good for exaggeration. Ooh, and great job with those crossed arms! Grats on the 50th, by the way.

The Flotsam Question by tamia_silverwing
Ahhh, I remember this one from the Art Gallery thread ^^ It was a good script, and I love the tree in the background. But, and this is me being nitpicky, the gelert looks a little strange with a highlight on the back of the head that continues to his lower jaw. It would have been better if it had ended just before that. But overall, it's great ^^
(although, it was better suited for the Art Gallery than for comics, IMO)

Triple Negative by sillygirl_543
Lol, you got a good point there! I quite like those sketchy outlines, and the shading was very nice. But if I was in your shoes (ahahaha... *gets brick'd*), I would have phrased it like, "Why are there so many shoes in the ocean?... How many pets have you seen that actually WEAR shoes?", but that would have changed the comic drastically ^^ Great work!

The Locker Room by keng200
Lol! I like the way you did their costumes. The fonts are a little inconsistant with each other, which I tend to avoid, but again, that's me being nitpicky

Lunaticity #5 by jerk_head
xD Simple, and I love the expression! But that ladder bugs me; it would have been good with an outline. People of the southern hemisphere pwn all (and... Singapore's close enough to the southern hemisphere, right? )

No Game Here: Zurro(Heavy)Ball by hello5346 and kamikatze24
VERY nice artwork here. Great shading, great poses, great background. As for the script... it was very funny, but it seemed to lack a definite climax of sorts. Hmm, never mind me.

[Draeroz]

[quote author=pacmanite board=issues thread=1153523163 post=1153568500Lunaticity #5 by jerk_head
xD Simple, and I love the expression! But that ladder bugs me; it would have been good with an outline. People of the southern hemisphere pwn all (and... Singapore's close enough to the southern hemisphere, right? )[/quote]
Yeah, it was pretty quick at doin' the ladder...

[Deleted]

Fight! by by ssjelitegirl
SNOW?! Boy, I wasn't expecting that in July...but it's a relief from the blistering heat outside, no? Anyways, I liked it. I think Shad's bubble was a bit too big to lead up to the tiny comments of the Faeries, but I guess I'm just being critical, since I know nothing of comics, really.

The Flotsam Question by tamia_silverwing
IMO...this wasn't the funniest comic I've seen, but the art is amazing. I can't imagine how you did that...it's really eye-appealing.

Triple Negative by sillygirl_543
Good question....the artwork was great. Nice. I looked back and I read your other Triple Negative comics and I liked them, too.

Gallion Ranch - Spinoff by pacmanite and hakuryu_86
I liked it...but when I didn't see any Gallions, I forgot to laugh...
What is Gallion Ranch anyways? I might get it better when I know...

The Locker Room by keng200
Alright, I liked it. I think I would have erased the black edges of the box where it passed through the text-bubbles, though, but that's just me.

Lunaticity #5 by jerk_head
This was funny ^_^ I took a minute to read your other Lunaticity comics and they were all pretty funny, too.

No Game Here: Zurro(Heavy)Ball by hello5346 and kamikatze24
Poor purple grundo... The art is amazing.

[Deleted]

To Work or Not to Work by caloriemuncher
Nice little story, but a few things I didn't like.

Emily put on her most professional look - well, the most professional look an eight-year-old could have - and said assertively, "I can DO it."

For this, I got the impression that it was more likely that Emily emphasized the CAN and not the DO.

Emily nodded, knowing that "I'll think about it" pretty much meant "yes." She gave her owner a quick hug and carefully crept back upstairs and into bed.

Maybe so with Shawn, but I think most people would have taken that answer as a no, not a yes. I think you could have added a short line saying something to say that when Shawn said "I'll think about it" it pretty much meant "yes." It would have made it clearer.

It got to be seven o'clock, and Emily still didn't have a job - only ridicule. "Oh, please don't try to make me feel better. These Neopians just don't understand that age doesn't matter, as long as you can do the job. And I can - but I just need to prove it to everyone."

Here, I didn't realise that it was Emily speaking. I thought it was more ridicule that she had gotten. I had to read it a couple times before I understood who was speaking. I noticed frequently that I wasn't sure who was speaking, partly because a few things that Emily said, such as the underlined part of the above quote, seemed more likely to have been said by Shawn. My advice is to mention sooner who is speaking, to show the reader who is speaking and what emotions they are speaking with. That would have made this story much better. I also advice scrutinizing what each character says to make sure it makes sense that they say it; it might be better if someone else speaks what you have in mind to say.

I hope you don't take this all too badly &mdash I really did like your story! &mdash I guess I'm just being...what does everyone call it here?...a bit nitpicky today.

Eerie Friends by mygoodguild
Cute little story. I liked it a lot. Nice author's note, too. I didn't realise you could mention the NTWF in the NT.... Good story!

[Tam]

Four critiques already? Wow, you guys are really efficient! Thank you very much for those, they'll be very helpful to learn from. ^_^ And you're right, it was the same picture that I entered into the art gallery, which got rejected and promptly shoved into the NT pile. I'm not altogether pleased with the idea of using a recycled picture, but I didn't want it to be wasted either.

I think we need some short story/series reviews to balance out the comics though. I'd do them, but I have zero time right now... I'll do the usual comic reviews when I get the chance, and after that, I'll try and read some stories.

[Tashni]

pacmanite said:

tashni said:

Gallion Ranch by hakuryu_86 & pacmanite - Ha! That's funny 'cuz people do that. (Me, for instance.) The art was nice and simple, too. Very clean looking.

xD Thanks! (I was thinking my outlines were a bit messy, though)

Really? *goes to look at comic again* Well, I suppose some of your "straight" lines are a bit wobbly and the books look a little floppy, but it has a nice, hand-drawn look.

[Tay - Sock Eater]

micrody said:

Eerie Friends by mygoodguild
Cute little story. I liked it a lot. Nce author's nte, too. I didn't realise you could mention the NTWF in the NT.... Good story!

Thank you very much. ^_^ Yeah, I always make dedications. It's not really part of the story, so I guess it's fine. Thanks again for the review.

[estantia]

Eerie Friends:

Now that's an original story, and I like the way westie really does seem to be a snotty little kid very well written.
The author's comment was funny though, I did a double take when I scroleld up to get the links and whammed back down again

[Draeroz]

micrody said:

Lunaticity #5 by jerk_head
This was funny ^_^ I took a minute to read your other Lunaticity comics and they were all pretty funny, too.

Wow, good to hear that you like it too, thanks.

[Deleted]

Comics:

Fight! by by ssjelitegirl
Very nice art. The Zafara's face is quite comical looking. ^-^ I love the faeries.

The Flotsam Question by tamia_silverwing
Adorable! Cute concept as well.

Triple Negative by sillygirl_543
All of their expressions seemed so sad, almost like they were crying! =P I thought it was funny. ^-^

Gallion Ranch - Spinoff by pacmanite and hakuryu_86
Very true! n.n Awsome art, I want to squish that scorchio into a hug.

The Locker Room by keng200
Took me a moment to understand, but very nice. The art is awsome, though the eyrie's text could have been a bit clearer (font-wise). ^-^

Lunaticity #5 by jerk_head
Is that cleavage? I love the expression and the joke actually made me laugh. Good job!

No Game Here: Zurro(Heavy)Ball by hello5346 and kamikatze24
Hehe funny and raises a good point. ^-^ Nice art!

Now I shall go read some stories!

[Draeroz]

choclated said:

Lunaticity #5 by jerk_head
Is that cleavage? I love the expression and the joke actually made me laugh. Good job!

What do you expect from a swimsuit like that? Thanks for compliment anyway...

[Deleted]

Eerie Friends by mygoodguild

A very cute story, though I thought it ended rather abruptly. I wanted to read more. I'm interested to see what other stories this brings about. =) Great job!

To Work or Not to Work by caloriemuncher
Interesting concept. Were you assuming the pets ages to be similar to the human world? Because if that is the case, 8 is pretty young to work. ^-^ I enjoyed the ending, and overall it was an enjoyable read.

The Lost World of Stnaltia: Part Three/Four by silentbutterfly

I wasn't able to get on last week to read the NT, so I missed the last part. So now you are getting two reviews in one. ^-^

The part about the energy bubbles was an interesting concept. At first I was slightly confused, but I read through it again and it made much more sense. I liked the games, reminds me of tombola. ^-^

they were surrounded by hundreds of meepits.

XDDD

I like where this story is headed and the details you throw in throughout it. Very nicely done =) Can't wait for the next part