248 Reviews

[Dan]

Captain of the Ship- The SS Eithne's Flame, eh? Nevertheless, cool story. Simple, yet elegant. The only minor thing I had a problem with was what Tashni mentioned. His sudden change of character. Besides that, though, you've got these things down pat. Great job. I'm definitely expecting more from you. XP

[Yuka]

Review time! Short stories to begin with. I'll try to offer concrit, but keep in mind that I don't want to offend anyone.

The Nobody

Aww. This was kind of a sad story, but I knew it would work out in the end. It makes you wonder about the people you see every day but never think twice about. Some of the sentences were slightly awkward, but I found no spelling or grammar mistakes in it. Good work!

The Health Food Crime

Hehehe. xD I love the way you extended Quinton's character in this story. He definitely got what he deserved, anyway. Nice job! One thing I noticed was that the phrasing was a bit off in places, but I'm nitpicking. Very enjoyable story.

NOTE: As I finish reviews, I will edit them into this post. If anyone wants a review for their work, just ask.

[Nimras]

The Completely Brief Comprehensive History of Neopia
by simsman24000

Wow, lots of ! in the first paragraph. The bit about the Neggery loosing its funds was genius.

“SCIENTISTS HAVE DISCOVERED A HORRIBLE NEW SPECIES OF NEOPET, DEVOID OF ANY SORT OF ATTRACTIVE FEATURE OR TRAIT. THE DISFIGURED, MUTATED SPECIES IS SO NUMEROUS THAT THEY ARE BEING ADOPTED LEFT AND RIGHT.
AND IT SHALL BE KNOWN AS THE UNI. “

*snicker*

It took me a little bit to figure out exactly what you were doing, but once I got the hang if it, it was a quick and fun read. My only advice is to not put the issue number in the article... since this isn't issue 143 ...

[Nimras]

Faerieland's Clipped Wings
by rookina

I have to admit, I had a hard time keeping interested in this article. It had nothing to do with the article itself, just my complete and utter lack of interest in Yooyuball. I do like how you kept it in sports article format, with the bracketed positions and the rest of the name every time someone was mentioned. And the story of how the first time she ran into a Fire Yooyu was in the middle of a match made me smile.

[Nimras]

Illustrious Ixis
by lassie_nikki

“After her difficult, freezing travel up Terror Mountain, to her displeasure, she found out that there had been a staircase on the Mountain clear of snow all year around that she could have easily walked up to reach her destination.”

Ouch. That would not be fun. Even though it's not a custom, I love the picture you got. It's hypnotic, I stared at it and got lost... and had to re-read the article. Oops. About the only thing I'd change, and it's really a personal choice thing, is mentioning where you can read about the lesser known Ixi... Illusen's Ixi for example. Usually I guess the Neopedia, but there's enough random books that you can pull stuff from too that it can get confusing.

[Tay - Sock Eater]

yuka said:

The Health Food Crime

Hehehe. xD I love the way you extended Quinton's character in this story. He definitely got what he deserved, anyway. Nice job! One thing I noticed was that the phrasing was a bit off in places, but I'm nitpicking. Very enjoyable story.

Ooh, thanks for the review. :3 =)

[reinarita]

yuka said:

The Health Food Crime

Hehehe. xD I love the way you extended Quinton's character in this story. He definitely got what he deserved, anyway. Nice job! One thing I noticed was that the phrasing was a bit off in places, but I'm nitpicking. Very enjoyable story.

Thanks, we picked him because there was so much wiggle room in creating his character.

[kaitlyn]

I'll try both the Neopedia and TCG sets. Thanks!

[Huntress]

Thanks for all the reviews, guys ^^ (Yus, Hunty's back. Whoot. Or infact, Hunty's currently on a ship sailing to Finland but as we went home before coming, I could grab my laptop.) I'll see if I manage to get home and start reviewing before the next issue comes out...

[reinarita]

ssjelitegirl said:

Thanks for all the reviews, guys ^^ (Yus, Hunty's back. Whoot. Or infact, Hunty's currently on a ship sailing to Finland but as we went home before coming, I could grab my laptop.) I'll see if I manage to get home and start reviewing before the next issue comes out...

I loved you comic Huntress, keep make'n them! ^^

[Deleted]

The Lost Knight by rebornluthia
This story is a good one. It's ending is haunting, as well. I would have rephrased a few things, but since this is written in the first-person, I know that the choice of words and their phrasing helps to build character. And this character is well-built. Good job. If I ever find time, I hope to read its prequel, "The Fallen Faerie."

Reflections by yatomiyuka
I got goosebumps at the end of this one. Your writing was amazing. You seemed to have said the right things at the right time. Hardly taking away from the story, I did notice a few errors in grammar and spelling. These could have easily been avoided, though, with a more thoroughly done editing job.

Stars by digital_microwave
This is an *thinks of really good word that I haven't used yet* story. I really enjoyed reading it. I love how you take the story of the Space faerie and expand it into something amazing. I loved this story very much. Your metaphors and similes were all so elegant and amazing, really good for helping out the imagination.

Not directly to you, but I've noticed that many people have hyphens instead of dashes. I'm not sure if Neopets recognizes the dashes from Microsoft Word as hyphens or if it's a typo, but the proper thing for a dash is two hyphens, not one. This -- instead of -.

The Nobody by _g_i_n_n_y_w_
This is a really cool story, truly makes you think about how amazing boring-looking people might actually be, the people seen but not heard. I enjoyed reading this - it was short, but I like shorter stories, and this one had a lot of story in a small package.

My one objection is that the way Atticus spoke seemed a bit out of character. In my opinion, you switched his style of speaking from time to time, and that broke up the solid image of him that you had going. With Lily, it seemed she sometimes said what people wanted to hear...not exactly what she wanted to say. I think you could have built her character up a bit, even if just by the use of more precise descriptive words or phrases.

[Yuka]

Reflections by yatomiyuka
I got goosebumps at the end of this one. Your writing was amazing. You seemed to have said the right things at the right time. Hardly taking away from the story, I did notice a few errors in grammar and spelling. These could have easily been avoided, though, with a more thoroughly done editing job.

Thanks for the review! *glomps* I'll try to remember that. *shakes fist at spelling and grammar mistakes* You won't slip through so easily next time!

[reinarita]

yuka said:

Reflections by yatomiyuka
I got goosebumps at the end of this one. Your writing was amazing. You seemed to have said the right things at the right time. Hardly taking away from the story, I did notice a few errors in grammar and spelling. These could have easily been avoided, though, with a more thoroughly done editing job.

Thanks for the review! *glomps* I'll try to remember that. *shakes fist at spelling and grammar mistakes* You won't slip through so easily next time!

lol! I should read that... I'll get around to it. ^^

[Cara has gone insane again]

micrody said:

The Lost Knight by rebornluthia
This story is a good one. It's ending is haunting, as well. I would have rephrased a few things, but since this is written in the first-person, I know that the choice of words and their phrasing helps to build character. And this character is well-built. Good job. If I ever find time, I hope to read its prequel, "The Fallen Faerie.

Thanks for the reviews. Once I get Haunted Warrior into the NT, this series/short stories will be completed.

[kaitlyn]

I REALLY enjoyed Reflections.