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Post by kaitlyn on Jul 17, 2006 18:07:38 GMT -5
Very, very nice. A very cute story. ^_^
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Post by Retired Blub on Jul 17, 2006 18:21:40 GMT -5
Captain of the Ship by extreme_fj0rdWow, this story was incredible. I deeply admire your writing, Fj0rd. You always manage to make the smallest descriptions into something that flows amazingly well in the mind. Your characters were all wonderful and the twist that you added at the ended was brilliant. The last line was peculiarly chilling. I think it'd be awesome if you made a sequel. 
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Post by Fj0rd on Jul 17, 2006 18:45:51 GMT -5
Captain of the Ship by extreme_fj0rdWow, this story was incredible. I deeply admire your writing, Fj0rd. You always manage to make the smallest descriptions into something that flows amazingly well in the mind. Your characters were all wonderful and the twist that you added at the ended was brilliant. The last line was peculiarly chilling. I think it'd be awesome if you made a sequel. Dagblast it I want concrit. XD But, um... yeah. Warm fuzzies, Blub. ^^ Danke. |
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Post by Tay - Sock Eater on Jul 17, 2006 18:56:24 GMT -5
... yanno, pretty much all of you phail at giving constructive criticism but now I feel all warm and fuzzy inside so I'm not going to rant about that very much. Heh. ^^ You're all so kind and awesome, giving me reviews when I can't give you reviews back. No, thanks for asking for us to review your story. xD I don't have time to read everything, but then after you wanted reviews I promised myself I'd get around to yours, and now I'm so glad I did. :3 That's the best thing I've read in a long time. |
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Post by Retired Blub on Jul 17, 2006 18:58:59 GMT -5
Captain of the Ship by extreme_fj0rdWow, this story was incredible. I deeply admire your writing, Fj0rd. You always manage to make the smallest descriptions into something that flows amazingly well in the mind. Your characters were all wonderful and the twist that you added at the ended was brilliant. The last line was peculiarly chilling. I think it'd be awesome if you made a sequel. Dagblast it I want concrit. XD But, um... yeah. Warm fuzzies, Blub. ^^ Danke. Honestly, the only thing I would have changed is probably making it longer. |
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Post by Yuka on Jul 17, 2006 18:59:37 GMT -5
I'm definitely doing some reviews tomorrow. Later tonight, if I finish my coursework in time.  ; This is what I get for procrastinating. In the meantime, reviews for my short story 'Reflections' would earn my eternal gratitude and a lifetime supply of hornet cakes. |
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Post by Ginz ❤ on Jul 17, 2006 19:28:34 GMT -5
Talek's Tale by dan4884 Also by imogenweasleyThis story is an amazing one. It is easily read, conveys superb emotions, and shows definate structure. I love it; I really enjoyed reading it. My only negative response is how easily Talek changed his mind towards the end. After all the effort he had put into keeping his promise, he seemed far too easily swayed. Other than that, though, this story is perfect. Than you so much for the positive review. ^_^ I'm glad you liked it. I guess it would have been hard for us to do it otherwise without making the story too long... More reviews are always appreciated.  |
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Post by Dan on Jul 17, 2006 19:30:58 GMT -5
Talek's Tale by dan4884 Also by imogenweasleyThis story is an amazing one. It is easily read, conveys superb emotions, and shows definate structure. I love it; I really enjoyed reading it. My only negative response is how easily Talek changed his mind towards the end. After all the effort he had put into keeping his promise, he seemed far too easily swayed. Other than that, though, this story is perfect. Than you so much for the positive review. ^_^ I'm glad you liked it. I guess it would have been hard for us to do it otherwise without making the story too long... More reviews are always appreciated. Everything she said and then some. Thanks. ^^ |
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Post by kaitlyn on Jul 17, 2006 19:43:51 GMT -5
More reviews are always appreciated.
-x-
Same here. =D
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Post by Cara has gone insane again on Jul 17, 2006 23:21:36 GMT -5
Oui, more reviews are appreciated.
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Post by Tashni on Jul 18, 2006 1:46:21 GMT -5
Captain of the Ship by extreme_fj0rd - Woah, CREEPY! I SO was not expecting that. Really good. I'd rant and rave about it like the rest, but you're begging for concrit so I will say this. Jall's character was a bit off to me. He was absolutely terrified of being booted off the ship, but he goes and breaks the biggest rule of them all? I know your reasoning was "when he sees who the captain is he'll have to stay forever," but I didn't think that was the best reasoning. Someone as obviously insecure as Jall would come to the conclusion that he would be FIRED, not receive job secutiry. There's my two bits Fjord, but it really is an AWESOME story and I'd love to see more.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 18, 2006 3:21:41 GMT -5
I'm looking to write a story about a more...complex and deeper character. I want to use a character that already exists, isn't written about frequently (such as Illusen), and that we don't know much about. Any ideas? You could try the Neopedia. There are a lot of obscure characters in there that are hardly ever mentioned - some of them are plot characters that haven't done anything since their plot and some are just shopkeepers or characters to add more colour to Neopia! |
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Post by Cara has gone insane again on Jul 18, 2006 7:38:40 GMT -5
You could try the Neopedia. There are a lot of obscure characters in there that are hardly ever mentioned - some of them are plot characters that haven't done anything since their plot and some are just shopkeepers or characters to add more colour to Neopia! Indeed. Although myself rarely check the Neopedia, I believe that there are always great stories and characters in the Neopia. And also, we can always search in teh TCG Card expansion. There are always characters that are never mentioned before. |
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Post by reinarita on Jul 18, 2006 9:24:09 GMT -5
Oui, more reviews are appreciated. *nods* |
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Post by nikki on Jul 18, 2006 11:02:20 GMT -5
Wheee =] Thanks everyone for your reviews  I'm going to work on everything you mentioned in future peices I write ^^ Hopefully I can continue to improve :3 Kaitlyn, I'm out of town right now, away from my regular computer and this computer is very very slow =[ So, I will most definitely read and review your work but it may not be today unless I have the time and patience today to wait for the NT to load XD I'd be happy to review it though =D Anyways, I appreciate everyone's reviews and will return the favor as soon as I get a chance =) More reviews are welcome! |
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; This is what I get for procrastinating. In the meantime, reviews for my short story 'Reflections' would earn my eternal gratitude and a lifetime supply of hornet cakes. 
neo username - dan4884 
I'm going to work on everything you mentioned in future peices I write ^^ Hopefully I can continue to improve :3