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Post by Deleted on Jun 13, 2006 16:27:18 GMT -5
Of Truffles and Such
by shadowcristalI feel so bad for that family D= I loved the way that you subtlely dropped hints of the bad things to come, and whilst the story was sad, I was kind of glad that it wasn't a happily-ever-after-ending. From my view, that's what the vast majority of people use, and that wouldn't have been right here. The detail in which you described his emotions, feelings and so on, and the amount of different ways you described the truffles was excellent. You had me gettting pretty hungry, I think I might have to go off and eat some truflles of my own now ^^; The Face Behind the Dancer
by rebornluthiaI really enjoyed this  There were some grammar issues, but not so large that is was impossible to understand, and the plot itself was great ^_^ I liked the way that you put a new spin on things, using your own names for characters and things like that. This is the first story I've read about the court dancer, so I'm not sure how much is from neopets and how much made up, but it was still a very original plot in my opinion. My only complaint is that I got a bit confused at times about who was doing what and it wasn't too clear, but you did have a lot packed in there so it was understandable that it moved quickly, and a second read clarified many things
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Post by Tashni on Jun 13, 2006 21:57:45 GMT -5
Yeah, I kind of struggled with what to use there. What I was trying to imply wasn't like... a Hissi hiss, more of that sound one makes when you exhale though your teeth or tightened lips; like the "whoo, that must have hurt" sound you make when you see some kid on a skateboard bite the dust. Anyone know a better name/sound/thing for it? *Bambi eyes* Ooh, erm, uh . . . "Said through his teeth?" "Growled through his teeth?" |
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Post by peri on Jun 14, 2006 15:10:37 GMT -5
I just wanted to share that I got my NT star av today  *dances* My 10th comic (a collab with Lady Jade) will be in this week's issue *dances away* |
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Post by nikki on Jun 14, 2006 23:45:04 GMT -5
Wheeeeee, congrats! Nice job =) |
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Post by peri on Jun 15, 2006 1:20:58 GMT -5
Thank you It made my day! |
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Post by Loki'sRose on Jun 15, 2006 6:14:38 GMT -5
Share Your Toys...Art: Great art! I really like it. And it's hand-drawn too! ^_^ Great job on the expressions and the coloring. Drawing a shoyru meatball on the firt panel with just the title was a really nice touch. XD Joke: Nice punchline, the last panel made me laugh. XD Overall, awesome comic. Thank you so much for the review! I'm so glad it made you laugh! And you noticed the meatball, yay! I wasn't sure anyone would spot that. Thank you very much indeed! ^_^ |
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Post by estantia on Jun 15, 2006 13:48:57 GMT -5
thankyou for the review! Yes, Illusen's still in shock and so got to be the slow one in this part Yes it all gets clear... and people get extra points if you spot me being sneaky before the next part... |
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Post by Huntress on Jun 15, 2006 14:33:17 GMT -5
Yeah, I kind of struggled with what to use there. What I was trying to imply wasn't like... a Hissi hiss, more of that sound one makes when you exhale though your teeth or tightened lips; like the "whoo, that must have hurt" sound you make when you see some kid on a skateboard bite the dust. Anyone know a better name/sound/thing for it? *Bambi eyes* Ooh, erm, uh . . ."Said through his teeth?" "Growled through his teeth?" Gotta agree with Nimras... hissing would be the closest word to that expression >.> I can see exactly what she means but it does get a little confusing. Being a writer can be a pain.... and thanks loads for teh review, Nim ^^ Boy, the reviews threads are getting dead again. I blame the last weeks of school people are getting everywhere. Those are always hasty. 'Cept for me, I just have a free week before next Thursday and the graduation ^^ Ohkay. Reviews. I shall start with comics... and then carry on as long as the virus scan lasts and I can't do anything else :3 The Cudgel Karma: I didn't really find it funny but it was pretty nice nevertheless. The art is really good, with many details, especially in the first panel. The foreman really looks psychotic x3 And so does Adam in the first panel. If he had blue eyes in the next two panels, you could've started with that too. Things I can complain about... the third panel. The placement of the speech bubbles. One word: eep. Huge comic no-no. Speech bubbles go from left to right, otherwise it's impossible to read. You could easily have flipped the panel so that the foreman stands to the right and then added the bubbles. Adam in the first panel and the blue Yurble also look a bit stiff, but that's nothing some practising won't cure ^^ Personally the speech bubbles in the second and last panels also bothered me a little, they were pointing who-knows-where. It was easy to understand who was saying it as there was only one character but it still felt a bit off. Still, like I said, just takes some practising. Overall, a nice comic. Meepit War Tactics: ehehe, great art and a great joke xD I especially like the glass doors. Getting a good glass effect is pretty hard. The Furniture warehouse sign above the door felt weird though. I haven't seen many stores that put the sign inside and there was a pink writing on the shopping cart anyway so you could've just let that be. Besides, it's pretty obvious that it's a store. And... the meepits are shaded but they don't have shadows? o.o Share Your Toys...: whoot, a handdrawn comic ^^ Very well drawn too, with shading n stuff. *is obsessed with shading* The plushie looks a bit... sceptical x3 As if it knew what was about to happen. And the Skeith looks so very cute in panel three (or four, if you count the title). The only thing that bothered me was the royal Shoyru's gasp, the mouth didn't really look like a mouth as it was so close to the nose. (It is a mouth, right? o.o) And as the panel didn't have any writing whatsoever, it looked a bit off. Even a short "Oh no!" would've worked fine. Yeah, I'm nitpicky today xD But it was still a good comic and I'd love to see more from you ^^ |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 16, 2006 1:45:48 GMT -5
... How many times am I allowed to post in a row? ^^;;; There isn't any limit... Is this only in the reviews section? I do believe I got scolded when I posted three posts in a row once, and was told to edit, not post again.  Just want to be clear on it, so I follow the rules like a good girl. If all goes well and I get my stuff done..  ..I hope to get in some reviews tonight. ;D Ame... |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 16, 2006 5:21:13 GMT -5
Comic Review By Moi! Just TWO comics? o.O Really?  Meepit War Tactics by cytherea007 This is SO cute. I thought there was a lot of... excess space with the detail spread out.. (not necessarily a bad thing though, lol), but the colors were even and nice, and the joke, very very funny. I liked it very much. The Cudgel Karma by ethan_redshaw teehee, Ethan, very cute. I must agree with the bacwards bubbles of frame three being a problem area, but the coloring and expressions were very cute. I think I 'get' the joke a little better than most, but since I knew the background story before seeing the comic, that might have had something to do with it. And who doesn't love Xprop's ideas? ;D Very Good Job. lol. Sooo sorry I waited so long to do these. If I would have known there were only two I'd have done them way sooner. (I've been trying to learn plushi tycoon and that game is WAY more complex than it ought to be, lol). Goal for next week.. to do Comics AND stories.  Ame... |
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Post by Nimras on Jun 16, 2006 7:06:10 GMT -5
Is this only in the reviews section? I do believe I got scolded when I posted three posts in a row once, and was told to edit, not post again. Just want to be clear on it, so I follow the rules like a good girl. If all goes well and I get my stuff done.. ..I hope to get in some reviews tonight. ;D Ame... Well, You'd get scolded for doing a review of the same story three times down... But a review of each story doesn't seem to be a problem. Often if they're really short, like comic reviews, people will put them together. |
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Post by Pacmanite on Jun 16, 2006 8:00:31 GMT -5
Cool, for a while I didn't know these thread existed Thank you so much all those who posted a review of my past comics, they're all very welcome and you've got great criticisms too! Tashni - actually, plushie pets are wonderful to draw; 'cause I don't have to worry about their leg and arm joints so much ^_^ And well... if you want to do a long review of the ssidney comic go right ahead The Cudgel Karma: ethan_redshaw Great work, I especially like the office-y feel to the first frame. Hah, I would have been way too lazy to draw all those little items (the books, the picture frame...)  I was a little confused though... is that blue yurble in the second-last panel meant to represent the foreman, one of his friends or a flashback, or something else? And this has probably been said before, but it's hard to work out the order of dialogue in the third frame - probably be best if they were in separate bubbles. But this is a great comic, I look forward to your next piece! Meepit War Tactics: Peri0neo; cytherea007 Lol! Very original! Although, the tiles on the floor don't seem to have much perspective to them, and the feepit should probably be casting a shadow on the floor... hmm, why am I talking about the floor so much? ...Oh yeah, the mesmerising pattern on the floor is a little distracting from the more plain textured petpets. But overall, greaat job, and very cute petpets! |
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Post by ilovecats164 on Jun 16, 2006 21:32:13 GMT -5
Ooo! My first comic was in that issue!
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Caraoffline recently
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Post by Caraoffline recently on Jun 16, 2006 21:34:52 GMT -5
Oh, I just notice this thread.
Thanks people, I think I'll try to deal with that more.
And as for the Dariganians, i'd rather leave that as a truth. Just when I started the story in "The Fallen Faerie", I have tried to make all Dariganians born to be painted in Darigan. I like that style more. XD
Oh is it? Kari is the second Aisha has eyes opened? I'm so exciting! ^_^
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Post by peri on Jun 17, 2006 0:56:34 GMT -5
Thank you for the reviews, Huntress, gliderames and pacmanite! I really appreciate all the comments and shall make sure my collaborator sees them as well. |
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There were some grammar issues, but not so large that is was impossible to understand, and the plot itself was great ^_^ I liked the way that you put a new spin on things, using your own names for characters and things like that. This is the first story I've read about the court dancer, so I'm not sure how much is from neopets and how much made up, but it was still a very original plot in my opinion.
*dances* My 10th comic (a collab with Lady Jade) will be in this week's issue 
Just want to be clear on it, so I follow the rules like a good girl. 
..I hope to get in some reviews tonight. ;D Ame...
I was a little confused though... is that blue yurble in the second-last panel meant to represent the foreman, one of his friends or a flashback, or something else? And this has probably been said before, but it's hard to work out the order of dialogue in the third frame - probably be best if they were in separate bubbles. But this is a great comic, I look forward to your next piece!