I think everyone here knows that I am an obsessive-compulsive-grammar-nazi, even if I'm not a terrific writer or artist
Forgive me if I seem too harsh. I truly enjoyed reading every piece!
A DIARY FILLED WITH COLOR - Undeadfortune
I remember seeing this in the Works and whatever boards - I also remember giving an opinion but I'll gladly review it again because I really enjoyed the story.
I think
it's really unique that a Grey pet would be colorblind. There's really nothing new I have to say - again, you've taken an abstract and ORIGINAL idea and turned it into a piece of intrigue and thought - a piece that conveys these ideas well without seeming over-the-top and without insulting the concept.
This is one of those pieces I won't easily forget. Well done!
THE COST OF BEING GREY - Peri
Heh. I loved the subtle expressions. Not too much movement, but it gets the point across. I wouldn't be able to draw a straight line if you gave me a straight edge and a pen, so I can't say much about the art, except that I ever so admire those who can draw a straight line xD
BALTHAZAR'S BEGINNING - Dan and A Friend (sorry, can't recognize Neonames yet
)
Hmmm. I, personally, am fond of historical stories - stories that explain Neopia. This was interesting, and quite appropriate for Grey Day. Throughout the story there were lines that I liked ("The rock was little refuge and even he knew the penalty for ignoring the cold"), but then there were lines that I had difficulty feeling comfortable with ("After all, his mom and him were inseparable."). There were grammar errors here and there (there's one in the preceding quote), but they weren't bad enough to stop me cold while I read. I also thought the pace was inconsistent (it seemed to have sped up near the end), and I wish you would have developed the faeries further as characters. That doesn't bother me much, however, as the focus of the story is consistently on Balthazar. Overall, I think the story was good, and I did enjoy seeing the development of Balthazar's emotions. Good job!
THE VEGETABLE SCENE - Bag
*Ahem* I, for one, Love cauliflower. Excellent voice throughout the article. It's not quite the objective-review-type article I expected - Your bias is VERY evident
. I was entertained by this article - light and brief (though maybe you could have thrown in a few extra veggies
), and about a subject I knew little about (when you have an Everlasting Apple, who needs food?). Some of these foods I didn't know even existed. Well done!
THE SLEEPER - Nut
Ok, I already had an opinion before I started reading this. It was "*groan*,
another plot-based story?!". Don't kill me. What I have to say next is good, promise! Quite obviously, all I'm doing here on this thread is critiquing experienced writers
This was kinda sorta what I expected, but I enjoyed it! I did expect the Glowing Techo to light up the doors, but I did not expect the story about Faeries-not-dying-Sleeper-imprisoned-inside... The story unfolded well, and the introduction was a great start. I did have chills when the Glowing Techo "saw" or felt she was being "seen", and I especially liked this line: "The radiance of her body heated her skin, but the air was colder than the glow was warm. " It was a good choice, choosing a Glowing Techo to be the main character - I could definitely imagine seeing the shadows his glow would have cast, and how frightening that would have been. The ending was unique. It ends the story with a question that is left to be asked by the reader... not like a cliffhanger or a "to be continued" but subtler and really gets the mind thinking.
Great job!
10 Ways to Celebrate Gloominess - Nikki
Hm, have you written anything before? This was well-written, I thought. I normally avoid articles with numbers in their titles (or lists, or how-to's...), but this article did capture my attention. This was brief and to-the-point without any blind stabs at creating humor. It progressed smoothly, in spite of the numbering. Well, how depressing. I think I'm going to go read some depressing Grey books to my not-so-depressing Sketch Kacheek (ok, OK! I was just looking for an excuse to put that out there
). Overall, well written! *applauds*