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Post by Kat on Jan 8, 2006 7:46:17 GMT -5
A heros journey by Precious_Katuch14: Very good, a superb beginning to what looks like a brilliant story! The characters came across really well, and I LOVE THE NAMES! Rohane is really clever! I really liked the character Reuben, the name suits him, it sounds like some rivalry between the two brothers! "Some" is an understatement. XD *SPOILER* Heh, but I do hope Mr. Insane doesn't brick me for giving Rohane's name a little background. ^^; Anyhoo, thanks for the review. A Hero's Journey: Part OneAww... *can't help it at reading the first part, before the stars* I wouldn't say this is a typical Kat story, though it begins with the typical birth event. (Sorry, have been slogging through Jane Eyrie where they discuss all kinds of typical plots >_<) On the other hand, it has the characteristics of a typical Kat story. Anyway, I really like the beginning, inspires one to read more. Especially that ending, not a cliffie but yet leading the reader to wonder and yearning for more. The way Reuben acts is a bit typical (then again, he IS a little brat), and I think it's kind of cute the way they came up with Rohane's name. Speaking of Reuben, it felt as if the latter part of the first part was centered around him, though I suspect that this story is most about Rohane... Quite a nice first chapter, and I'll be looking forward to read more ^^ (Is this the ten-parter you were talking about or was that some other series?) THANKEE. You and Gav have been spouting about "typical Kat stories" but I don't know what makes them such. XD Well, Rohane doesn't do much in the first part, so it's mostly Reuben doing the...whatever has to be done in the plot. j;) And yes, this IS the ten-parter. Like I said before, I hope Mr. Insane doesn't maul me. XD ... KAT DOES REVIEWS. YAY FWEEEE. An Unexpected Friend by lobstermagnetctyIt ended quite earlier than I expected, but that doesn't mean that the story was no good. I liked the descriptions, the colorful narration of Kizzy's character and her surroundings, and the flow of the ending was cute. ^_^ Overall, you could have added more to the story, but it stands pretty well on its own. The Tale of the Darkest Faerie by shadowcristalAt first, I got the two dark faeries mixed up. It was slightly confusing, the way you described Delia and Desdemona (sp?). But the series started off very well, especially the very beginning, which was quite mysterious. I find the ending to be a semi-cliffie - leaves you hanging somehow, but not too suspenseful. (Off-topic comment - I seem to be seeing a lot of Darkest Faerie-themed stories these days...) ...That's all for now, folks. j:D I do hope Kat can review more.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 8, 2006 9:15:53 GMT -5
A few reviews =) Triple Negative: I love this comic The art is nice and the joke is instantly clear, and it's something that almost everyone can identify with, hehe. I also like that kind of 'sketchy' style you've used, it looks awesome ^_^ If I had to suggest one thing, maybe use slightly brighter colours for the bottom frame? Just my opinion. *is really bad at reviewing comics* hehe. Retired? Nah, Just Differemt: I really like this one, I found it very funny I love the different poses and expressions of the pets in the second frame, and the joke is great too =) I particularly like the meercas tail, though I'm not exactly sure why hehe. Life at Yurble Manor: Aww, this was such a sweet story =) There were one or two places were the grammar was maybe a touch clumsy, in my opinion, but your dialogue particularly seemed to flow nicely. The continuing theme of the butterfly tied it together for me in a way, and I think you managed to paint the characters and their personalities really well. The ending is good because although I was kind of expecting the yurble to become the childminder, it was gratifying when Vykroth came to that conclusion for himself. Nice job ^_^ More reviews later, as and when I get time I would really appreciate a review of my first article, 12 Suggestions for the Perfect New Years Resolution: www.neopets.com/ntimes/index.phtml?section=167135&issue=222 , if anyone were so inclined
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Post by Deleted on Jan 8, 2006 11:09:43 GMT -5
An Unexpected Friend by lobstermagnetcty
It ended quite earlier than I expected, but that doesn't mean that the story was no good. I liked the descriptions, the colorful narration of Kizzy's character and her surroundings, and the flow of the ending was cute. ^_^ Overall, you could have added more to the story, but it stands pretty well on its own.
Thank you! ^^ *nodnod* That's my biggest beef with my story. ^^
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Post by Deleted on Jan 8, 2006 11:19:58 GMT -5
The Tale of the Darkest Faerie by shadowcristal: VERY good. I thought the whole thing with a dark faerie writing was brilliant. The characters were amazing, and the descriptions gave me a clear image of them in my head - super-di-duper! I like the names, each one showing the personality and style. Sia - A super duper start and im following it! Thanks for the review, Madz! ^^ I'm glad you could envision the character by their names, I tried to use special names... I'm glad it worked well =) A heros journey by Precious_Katuch14: Very good, a superb beginning to what looks like a brilliant story! The characters came across really well, and I LOVE THE NAMES! Rohane is really clever! I really liked the character Reuben, the name suits him, it sounds like some rivalry between the two brothers! "Some" is an understatement. XD *SPOILER* Heh, but I do hope Mr. Insane doesn't brick me for giving Rohane's name a little background. ^^; Anyhoo, thanks for the review. A Hero's Journey: Part OneAww... *can't help it at reading the first part, before the stars* I wouldn't say this is a typical Kat story, though it begins with the typical birth event. (Sorry, have been slogging through Jane Eyrie where they discuss all kinds of typical plots >_<) On the other hand, it has the characteristics of a typical Kat story. Anyway, I really like the beginning, inspires one to read more. Especially that ending, not a cliffie but yet leading the reader to wonder and yearning for more. The way Reuben acts is a bit typical (then again, he IS a little brat), and I think it's kind of cute the way they came up with Rohane's name. Speaking of Reuben, it felt as if the latter part of the first part was centered around him, though I suspect that this story is most about Rohane... Quite a nice first chapter, and I'll be looking forward to read more ^^ (Is this the ten-parter you were talking about or was that some other series?) THANKEE. You and Gav have been spouting about "typical Kat stories" but I don't know what makes them such. XD Well, Rohane doesn't do much in the first part, so it's mostly Reuben doing the...whatever has to be done in the plot. And yes, this IS the ten-parter. Like I said before, I hope Mr. Insane doesn't maul me. XD ... KAT DOES REVIEWS. YAY FWEEEE. An Unexpected Friend by lobstermagnetctyIt ended quite earlier than I expected, but that doesn't mean that the story was no good. I liked the descriptions, the colorful narration of Kizzy's character and her surroundings, and the flow of the ending was cute. ^_^ Overall, you could have added more to the story, but it stands pretty well on its own. The Tale of the Darkest Faerie by shadowcristalAt first, I got the two dark faeries mixed up. It was slightly confusing, the way you described Delia and Desdemona (sp?). But the series started off very well, especially the very beginning, which was quite mysterious. I find the ending to be a semi-cliffie - leaves you hanging somehow, but not too suspenseful. (Off-topic comment - I seem to be seeing a lot of Darkest Faerie-themed stories these days...) ...That's all for now, folks. I do hope Kat can review more. Thanks for the review, Kat ^^ There are tons of Dark Faeries, so I guess it's easy to mix them up. Hrm... Any tips on how to make it clearer? (The narration is by Delia, btw. She doesn't do a lot herself, though... Mostly observes. If you follow it I'm sure you'll be a bit surprised by the beginning of Part Three *smug grin*) Typical Kat = Typical Kat descriptions, wording, simply the way you write. As for the huge number of Dark faerie stories, I think that's because of the TDF game on PS2... *sighs* I wrote mine more than a year ago, though...
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Post by eehad on Jan 8, 2006 13:06:54 GMT -5
Life at Yurble Manor: Aww, this was such a sweet story =) There were one or two places were the grammar was maybe a touch clumsy, in my opinion, but your dialogue particularly seemed to flow nicely. The continuing theme of the butterfly tied it together for me in a way, and I think you managed to paint the characters and their personalities really well. The ending is good because although I was kind of expecting the yurble to become the childminder, it was gratifying when Vykroth came to that conclusion for himself. Nice job ^_^ Thanks a million I know - the grammar! Thanks for pointing it out, I will make sure to check the next story even more before sending it in But after reading it again in the NT I could have nearly sworn there were typo's in there that I didn't had in my submission. I'm trying to trace that but we had a big PC upgrade lately and all my files and their altered and edited versions are scattered over 3 different hard drives so I'm not even sure which one's the one I sent in..
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Post by Bubbles- Masta Pirate Thespian on Jan 8, 2006 13:31:15 GMT -5
*points sadly at my article, 'A Slimy Point of View'* *wink wink*
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Post by Nut on Jan 8, 2006 13:39:03 GMT -5
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Post by Huntress on Jan 8, 2006 14:42:53 GMT -5
Eh, aren't I late with a review request this time. That's what happens when you leave for Sweden for three days. One way or another, my comic, "One Way Out" got in and I'd love to get feedback ^^ It's my longest comic yet, hence the bad quality... and never ever try to set a comic in Eliv Thade's living room, drawing the background is a real pain >__<
I'll start reviewing as soon as I have the time. Meaning about tomorrow... hopefully. Whoot.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 8, 2006 14:58:25 GMT -5
One Way out: Haha, nice one! The art is really great, and it's awesome that you take the time to draw enough panels to explain the situation. I can see how the backgrounds would be a pain to draw, but they came out great. ^_^ Triple Negative: XD I can totally relate. Great joke, very pretty art as well! And I like the speech bubbles. LePhante: Aww, poor Elephante. x3 Cute comic, and good job not using C+P even though there were a lot of panels. Notions and Nonsense: I remember reading this one on the collab boards, but it's still funny. xD Great art too, Meganium! I like the expressions. TPPR: Awesome. xD And the animation is great, of course. I love the rollercoaster. Retired?: Aww, cute art! x3 I had to read it twice to get the joke, but that's because I'm slow. And then the joke was funny after. ^_^
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Post by ncwidt5895 on Jan 8, 2006 15:05:22 GMT -5
I feel kind bad requesting coz I won't be able to review in return, but if you'd review the final part of mine and Dan's series, The Inn, I'd be grateful.
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Post by ♥ Lulu on Jan 8, 2006 15:09:50 GMT -5
Comic Reviews:Ghost Story by lauren_nina613Really funny. I loved the animations and the cute little voices. I like Hydra the most: He was kind of laid back-annoyed-not bothered. Petpetpet Problems by btcomsa12The drawings were really cartoony and sweet. I like the joke aswell: Really well set out too. Petpetz by cherv1 - Also by tambourine_chimp
It was quirky and all, but the background and surroundings was a bit plain. Sorry, but I'm a person who like details. XD! Awww I don't have 25 np! by amillieHeh. Loved the drawing and the joke. Liked the way the panels were formatted. Liked the eyes too.
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Post by Lau on Jan 8, 2006 16:24:35 GMT -5
Short Story Reviews
An Unexpected Friend[/b]
The introduction of this story was promising, with an efficient and thorough character description that managed to refrain from rambling or overdoing it. Once in a while a sentence didn't make logical sense, such as:
If she has no friends to call her that nickname, then who gave her that nickname?
The story's progression was well-developed. After a nice introduction, and a good use of description as Kizzy walked through the gardens and found the "plushie", however, the end cut off much too abruptly. The sort of character development needed for a satisfactory end (the true changing of perception from the spoiled, friendless Princess to someone more understanding and kind) required more of a complex plot than simply finding a petpet and ending the story. This might very well be the beginning of her transformation, but to end the story there doesn't convince me that there was a true change in her. Would someone completely friendless even know how to kindly treat a petpet? Also, does it make sense that a pampered, spoiled princess had never been offered a petpet of her own before?
The idea was a good one, and the writing style was pretty good as well -- the story would have flourished more, though, as a series with more development than what it had.
Life at Yurble Manor[/b]
The use of voice is strong in this story, with the narration written in such a way that it is easy to "see" into Vykroth's thoughts and empathize with him as he struggles to mind the manor and the troublesome baby Yurble.
The organization was a little strange around the part where Vykroth is putting the baby Yurble down for a nap and remembers the Tyrannian Babaa outside -- a somewhat detailed background was given to the Babaa, who wasn't a very significant character. The important information in that entire section could have been summarized more efficiently without the unnecessary details.
Also, the plot just seemed to fit too cleanly and nicely together. Out of all of the applicants, two just happened to be perfect, exactly what he was needing. There was no serious rivalry between them, there were no surprises, and no plot twists. I was thinking that perhaps one of the applicants might turn out to be a thief, or that the Ixis had some alterior plan, with one staying behind and all.
The end mentioned the possibility of more similar stories to come -- perhaps some sort of depth or intricacies will be revealed in those.
New Series Reviews
A Hero's Journey: Part One[/b]
I think I may have read this already -- it seems familiar, anyway. Did you ever post it in Work Reviews?
Anyway, the introduction is very well-paced. I didn't get a sense of it being rushed at all, and the idea of how Rohane's name came to be was clever. The end was done well also, with a hint of jealousy to be intriguing without losing the sense of reality (it wasn't overdone).
My complaint is that the dream that Reuben had confused me -- it took me two readings to figure out for sure that it was a dream. I think that mentioning that he thought he'd dozed off was what made it unclear; if he'd simply awoken to the strange situation it would have been more obvious it was a dream. Having him "realize" he was awake sort of solidified that he was, and made it harder to understand that he really was dreaming.
All in all, though, it was a good first part. I'm curious to see whether any time will have passed between the first and second parts. The development of this sibling rivalry, and where it will end up, leaves a pretty broad spectrum of plot possibilities.
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Post by Komori on Jan 9, 2006 0:18:01 GMT -5
Retired? Nah, Just Different! Really cute comic! Let's see, where to start... Oh, I guess my first complaint is the title. :/ It really doesn't make much sense, and it'd a bit too long. Just "Retired?" would've been fine. The 'Nah, just different!' part could've been in the comment box. But I notice it's a collab, and that Hello-person was the one who submitted it, so I guess that's not your fault. :3 Hehe. The comic's got a nice sense of timing. I like the second panel especially, it has plenty of wonderful details to look at. It's also the largest panel of the comic, which helps draw the eye. It's a good setup to show all the various characters of the various retired games. The body language of the grundo is great, the 'looking over the shoulder' adds a nice bit of interest to the scene. The last panel is also well layed out, with that solitary surprised meerca sitting there. If you had redrawn every character, it would've been less effective (not to mention far more time consuming, heh.). One thing I would've changed is the first panel. I think that tombstone should've been showing the full title of the grundo's game, just to help the reader remember what game he's from, and also explain to the newer people who may have been unaware of the game's existence. The key part of the comic is the snow (or mud) throwing, so the word 'throw' should've been part of the comic too. I love all the shading and detail you put into the tombstones and background. You went through the trouble of shading AND highlighting all aspects of the comic, and it really shows all the time and care you put into your comics. And I really love the texture in the tombstones. Very nice and rocky. It's great that you even included those little images of the characters on the stones. So cute! Oh, but that one brown tomb in the upper left of the second panel is a tad bit distracting, if only because it's brown while the rest of the stones are grey. Altogether, a super nice comic! One Way OutBwee, this one is one of my fave comics of the week. ;D It's got great art, it's very humorous, plus it has Thade and Thade is teh awesome. The first thing I noticed is the detail in the background. That must've taken a lot of work! Yeesh, I know I certainly don't have the patience for that sort of thing. And the angles of the shots are really great, especially in that third panel. You include the boarded up window as a bit of setup for the action that was to follow. So many props to you! The comic would've made much less sense without it! Also, I love the repetition of Thade's face of laughter in panels 3 and 4. Which brings me to my next point. This comic is so excellent because it's full of punchlines, both visual and verbal. Let's see if I can name them all... There's the humor of the duality of some of that game's anagrams. I know that I got stuck on that particular 'raters' question as well. Then there's the pets' casual responses to their failure and Thade's proclamation of their doom. ... And then the unceasing laughter of crazy old Eliv while the pets discuss. ... Then there's Shad's cynic response to Saura's inquiry of the other lost pets. And of course there is the greatly humorous panel of Saura chucking the Grimoire through a window... And finally there is the last panel, which has about three verbal jokes in rapid succession. Glee! The more I discuss this comic, the more I love it! <3 Gya! And I just noticed the SR! Heehee, woootness! Let's see, if I had to make complaints about this comic, I suppose it would be the dialogue bubbles. Using that sort of airbrush effect on them is unique, but it makes the comic look a little bit less finished. I think I'd prefer a nice clean bubble to the fuzzy-edged bubbles. Oh, and also, you shaded every character and prop except for Shad. He remains strangely unshaded. Even if it was done purposefully because he's shadow, it still seems like an error. But really, these are quite nitpicky complaints. I really liked this comic. ^__^
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Post by Huntress on Jan 9, 2006 13:04:51 GMT -5
Kehehe, thanks NSQ and Komori :3 Lessee if I have some feedback to give... There's the humor of the duality of some of that game's anagrams. I know that I got stuck on that particular 'raters' question as well. I know I haven't o.o; Didn't even know it existed. I created the double-edged anagram pretty much out of the blue. I've run into many dual anagrams in that game but when I started with the comic, I couldn't remember any of them so I had to use my own brain. Typical. Yay, it's good to know that the little thingamabob wasn't a complete waste of the Paintshop brush tool ^__^ I'm not even sure if the others actually use the SR in their stories/comics. But then again, I'm not much of an active reader either. Hm, actually I use the eraser... *pouts* and I like my fuzzy bubbles @.@ Guess I could try and use a different technique but generally I'm as lazy as a dead meepit and like to stick to my traditions. Shad's plainness is also a little odd tradition thing I've been keeping ever since my first comics... which were actually kinda crappy. About time to change that, ne? Point noted ^^ Thanks again. Ookay, reviews =3 Series go first.... Christmas Warmth: Part Three: aw, this is so heartwarming ^__^ You managed to avoid all sorts of possible brainless plotlines you could've run into. The idea of the self-drawn book thingy was really good. I also liked the fact that all the Grundos chose their own path. All in all, maybe it would've made more sense if the first part had been published two weeks before Christmas so that this part would've showed up in the Xmas issue - but then again, it was a nice reminder of the holidays now that ebil school has started for me again x__x One way or another, great work =3 Shattering Point: Part Three: whoa, ten points for the originality. The idea of the whole story is truly amazing, and the third part, even if kinda dramatic at times, sums everything up very nicely. Many things remained unsaid and the line between reality and illusions was very blurry but that was the point, wasn't it? Generally not the type of story I usually like to read but yours really captured me. I'd call that an accomplisment o0; Well done ^^ I think I'll get to comic reviews about... tomorrow. Yus.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 9, 2006 19:48:47 GMT -5
Christmas Warmth: Part Three: aw, this is so heartwarming ^__^ You managed to avoid all sorts of possible brainless plotlines you could've run into. The idea of the self-drawn book thingy was really good. I also liked the fact that all the Grundos chose their own path. All in all, maybe it would've made more sense if the first part had been published two weeks before Christmas so that this part would've showed up in the Xmas issue - but then again, it was a nice reminder of the holidays now that ebil school has started for me again x__x One way or another, great work =3 Thanks for reviewing the series, Huntress! ^___^ Haha, I thought the idea of the book was sort of lame, so I'm glad someone liked it. xD I intented this to be a short story at first but it got way too long, and yeah. That's why I didn't manage to fit it all in before Christmas was over. xD Thanks again!
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