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Post by Komori on Jan 6, 2006 23:45:48 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Jan 7, 2006 0:09:37 GMT -5
I'd love reviews for the 3rd (and last!) part of Christmas Warmth! Even though no one's in the Christmas mood anymore. xD And I won't be doing many reviews myself this time... =(
Spooky: Very cute art, as always! I like the joke too. xD The way the Uni isn't even holding the knife is great. x3 And awesome expressions!
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Post by Ginz ❤ on Jan 7, 2006 0:38:51 GMT -5
Spooky
Funny. It got a chuckle out of me, which is good because normally I just laugh silently to myself (if that makes sense). The art is awesome, and you're especially good depicting the character's emotions. ^_^
I hadn't written a review in a long time. It feels good to be back. =D
NSQ, I'll read your series and post a review when I'm done. Or edit this post if no one else has posted.
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Post by ohmandoh on Jan 7, 2006 1:18:42 GMT -5
I wouldn't mind reviews for LePhante! www.neopets.com/ntimes/index.phtml?section=164110&issue=222Good and bad, I don't mind! Spooky is HILARIOUS, especially after the last one you did, heehee. And the thought bubbles being arratic in the second frame is a nice touch. If I just HAD to ask for improvement on anything, I think the floating knife in the third frame could have been continuing to cut the carrot or something (it looks like it is but the height of the knife makes it look kinda' behind the carrot and not over it)... and that's just pulling at straws.  |
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Post by Gav on Jan 7, 2006 1:28:14 GMT -5
Spooky
Awesome art, great joke. Your art rocks, Komori.
The Pet Patrol Revolution
Haha. This was great. Smooth animation, nice details, and a good finisher.
And because Kat deserves it after trying so many times...
A Hero's Journey: Part One
...Wow. I aboolutely loved it. And well, there's not much to say- I've read so many Kat stories that I've gotten used to their basis, and this one definitely scores. Keep it up, Kat. Can't wait for the next part.
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Post by Kat on Jan 7, 2006 1:38:47 GMT -5
And because Kat deserves it after trying so many times... A Hero's Journey: Part One...Wow. I aboolutely loved it. And well, there's not much to say- I've read so many Kat stories that I've gotten used to their basis, and this one definitely scores. Keep it up, Kat. Can't wait for the next part. Hmmm...I've tried it so many times since Snowflake was still editor, and then Droplet held it over for a really long while. It was more of waiting than resubmitting, actually. ^_~ Thanks for the review. I hope you have the patience to read the entire series, since this one's the longest one I've written so far. Note to self: Must...review...*opens NT* I'm taking three short story requests, then it'll be random reviews till then. j;) |
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Post by Deleted on Jan 7, 2006 6:10:56 GMT -5
Hi guys. ^^ Um, I haven't posted in the NTWF for a looong time, but then, I haven't been in the NT for a looong time either. XD
Anyways, this week I got my first short story in, An Unexpected Friend. It's about my new Royal Cybunny. Anyways.... yeah. ^^ Reviews, please! ^^ And I see bunches wrong with it anyways.... So I wanna see if you find the same problems I do. XD
I wrote it WAY before Christmas, it was held over for AGES. -_-
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Post by Kushbi on Jan 7, 2006 7:07:30 GMT -5
An Unexpected Friend
Such a sweet story! I loved the detailed description of Kismint and feel that she was really brought to live. Character-driven stories are always risky because if the reader doesn't identify with your character, it's hard to lock him/her in. But Kissy is written in a way that isn't your stereotypical perfect princess - a young royal with a bit of an attitude problem whom others can't stand - yet her need for friends rouses sympathy (for me, at least). IMO, the choice of showing only Kissy (before she finds the petpet) is a very good device for emphasising her loneliness.
The story flows very well. I am not going to nitpick on narration/word usage etc because you said that you have already spotted bunches wrong with the story. Nah, actually my eyes are a bit too tired. XD
My main grouse is that Kissy and the plot is a tad cliche. But since this is about your royal Cybunny, I fully respect the fact that you can own a young royal who is lonely and spoilt and manipulative. And then give her a cute plushie friend. ^_^ Your story has the potential of growing into a series. When it ended, I thought that it was a pity, because Kissy can grow so much more by unusual trials/events and her relationship with her petpet can be further explored. If you ever think of writing a series, do consider continuing this story.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 7, 2006 8:27:44 GMT -5
An Unexpected FriendSuch a sweet story! I loved the detailed description of Kismint and feel that she was really brought to live. Character-driven stories are always risky because if the reader doesn't identify with your character, it's hard to lock him/her in. But Kissy is written in a way that isn't your stereotypical perfect princess - a young royal with a bit of an attitude problem whom others can't stand - yet her need for friends rouses sympathy (for me, at least). IMO, the choice of showing only Kissy (before she finds the petpet) is a very good device for emphasising her loneliness. The story flows very well. I am not going to nitpick on narration/word usage etc because you said that you have already spotted bunches wrong with the story. Nah, actually my eyes are a bit too tired. XD My main grouse is that Kissy and the plot is a tad cliche. But since this is about your royal Cybunny, I fully respect the fact that you can own a young royal who is lonely and spoilt and manipulative. And then give her a cute plushie friend. ^_^ Your story has the potential of growing into a series. When it ended, I thought that it was a pity, because Kissy can grow so much more by unusual trials/events and her relationship with her petpet can be further explored. If you ever think of writing a series, do consider continuing this story. *poke* Kizzy. XD Kissy is just... odd. XD And probably not allowed on Neo. XD I adopted her, so it might have originally been Kiss-mint, but I call her Kizz-mint. ^^ Character-driven? aren't all stories character-driven?  but I'm glad you identified with her. ^^ And spiff- I used a device without even realising it! ^^ Thanks! ^^ Yeah, my friend and dad (non-Neo playing both) both told me exactly what was wrong with it, not that I couldn't see it myself. XD Grrr, I know it's a cliche and I hate it! -_- But I dunno.... She is very typical in her own way, but she's also quite different, which hasn't come through yet. (Mostly because I put her entire personality on my computer and then it broke and now I can't get it. Gah! And I can't remember it all.) Your suggestion to turn her into a series is very interesting. ^^ I just might do that, but I dunno when. I hadn't even considered it, but now you've put the idea in my head, I just can't let it go. XD Heehee! ^^ Fun! |
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Post by Random Cameo Neotomi on Jan 7, 2006 10:09:05 GMT -5
I'd appreciate reviews for The Pet Patrol REvoltuion. And thanksGav!
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Post by Deleted on Jan 7, 2006 10:56:48 GMT -5
*twinge of guilt* Sia should review, have not done it due to being lazy and being on break and doing as little things as possible... In any case, I shall review! I'll review according to those who has posted here, only I am too lazy to do long series. (Sorry!) I'm not taking requests though, school's starting soon and I should be preparing and finishing the last of my math homework. *more twinges of guilt* [glow=lime,2,300]Sia's Reviews![/glow] SpookyLol. Very cute art, really typical you, Komori. I like how the ghost pets look ghastly but are solid-looking too. The knife looks a bit weird, hanging in midair... Overall, quite an amusing piece of work. The Pet Patrol Revolution - TrendsIt looks rather funny, but I don't totally get the joke. The sound effects are spiff, though, and I like how the comic conveys a lot without any 'talk'. Sorry, I'm such a bad comics reviewer.... *hangs head* And I haven't reviewed in such a long time... An Unexpected FriendQuite a cute and quaint story. It's rather unexpected and the plot twists differently. To be honest, I thought it'd be some poor passerby, but I was wrong. *grins* I'd better not spoil it... The story is short and sweet, with many flowery descriptions. Those are lovely (I can't write that beautifully), but sometimes it feels as if you laid it on a bit thick and that made it hard to get into the story, really connect with the character. Also, the way the narrator adds and tells sticks out a bit, but overall the story flows well. The whole story is a bit stereotypical, with all those medieval characters and such. Still, Kizzy is a strong character and I'm glad you didn't make her into a picture-perfect princess but told the reader some of the flaws. However, I would've liked to see more showing than just telling, though as I've said before, your descriptions are really vivid and touching. Overall, I enjoyed reading the story. =) A Hero's Journey: Part OneAww... *can't help it at reading the first part, before the stars* I wouldn't say this is a typical Kat story, though it begins with the typical birth event. (Sorry, have been slogging through Jane Eyrie where they discuss all kinds of typical plots >_<) On the other hand, it has the characteristics of a typical Kat story. Anyway, I really like the beginning, inspires one to read more. Especially that ending, not a cliffie but yet leading the reader to wonder and yearning for more. The way Reuben acts is a bit typical (then again, he IS a little brat), and I think it's kind of cute the way they came up with Rohane's name. Speaking of Reuben, it felt as if the latter part of the first part was centered around him, though I suspect that this story is most about Rohane... Quite a nice first chapter, and I'll be looking forward to read more ^^ (Is this the ten-parter you were talking about or was that some other series?) |
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Post by Random Cameo Neotomi on Jan 7, 2006 11:05:40 GMT -5
Thanks for the review, Sia! you actually reviewed very well.
The joke was basically a visual joke. first yellow goes on a rollercoaster, then her onride photo is used in amagazine as a new trendset, so everybody adopts the eyes-open-wide, teeth-exposed frizzy-hair look
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Post by Snorkles on Jan 7, 2006 11:15:20 GMT -5
The end of my series, Shattering Point, is in the NT, so if anyone wants to reveiw you could make me happy. But don't feel obligated. ^^
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Post by eehad on Jan 7, 2006 12:10:39 GMT -5
Hi there, I would really appreachiate a review of my story 'Life at Yurblemanor' especially as it's my first publication. neopets.com/ntimes/index.phtml?section=161457&issue=222Gimme all you got.  I'll also post some opinions about your entries - but at the moment I'm a bit too hyper about my first publication *does a jig* to really concentrate - sorry! Did I mention it's my first... ? Ok ok, I'll be waiting ;D |
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Post by Bubbles- Masta Pirate Thespian on Jan 7, 2006 13:14:07 GMT -5
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Furgo 
Michael. 
but I'm glad you identified with her. ^^ And spiff- I used a device without even realising it! ^^
