A question...

[♥ Jey ♥]

Why are some people homophobic? And they hate homosexuals? It just confuses me...

Do they not face the reality that people can love whoever they want? Or are they just narrow-minded?

I'm asking for opinions here..

[♥ Jey ♥]

I've also just wanted you all to know that I've been dying to ask this question for more than a month already.. Both in school, in my family, and here.

[Buddy]

Well, people have their own opinons, both on homosexuality, why it exists, and why others are afraid of it. I think different people hate it for different reasons.

People who hate it because of their religon think that homosexuality is a sin. So, they would naturally be unhappy with the person and the sin they believe that person to have commited.

But if you ask some people, people who don't hate it for religous reasons, they'll tell you "Because it's weird!". And I think this is the main reason people hate it: because it's different. And people always hate things that are different.

The concept of homosexuality has only been out in the open for about 40 years, maybe a little less. And the concept of homosexuals actually getting married is something that people have only considered possible, or even something worth not laughing at, for about ten. So really, it's all very new to many people. And many people just aren't comfortable with it - it's different and new and people don't always like different and new.

However, I've seen statistics showing that more young people are for gay marriage than older people - by quite a substantial margine, too! Meaning that, as time goes on, more and more people will grow comfortable with it. And more and more people will be for it.

[thegreenmooseofdoom]

Buddy hit the nail on the head there.
It's different. People are afraid of new things, different viewpoints included.
Some have religion to try and back up their arguments against homosexuality, others just say that it's weird and wrong, and can't see past the 'weirdness' of it long enough to see the other side of the coin.
I think it's really sad that people are judged and discriminated against because of their sexual orientation... I mean, how is that kind of discrimination any different from racial or gender discrimination?
How can we claim to be a 'land of the free' when we try and prohibit its people of their happiness?
America is a melting pot. We are supposed to pride ourselves on our own individuality. Since when was being yourself frowned upon?
Just some food for thought.

[teghan62]

Buddy and Moose brought up some awesome points.

Really, if only people could learn that different is not bad, it's just different...

I believe that the people who use religion for their excuse are just talking plain bs. God created all people, therefore he created them because he wanted homosexuals to be, well, homosexuals. It obviously can't be a mistake since God is "perfect" (I'm obviously not very religious at all - oh, and if Christians don't believe that He is, my apologies. I'm a bit unfamiliar with the religion, but I think that they do think He is perfect xD; ) and it's said God loves all his children... anyone here know the story of the angels as Pharoh was drowning. The angels were all rejoicing but God was all like, "No, don't rejoice, for those are my children." so He still obviously cared about them - so He most likely cares for Homosexuals. So if you were religious and followed your faith in God, you wouldn't reject them but attempt to accept them - I think. I honestly have no clue, I've just been typing stuff that probably only makes sense to me. XD

[sollunaestrella]

Lior said:

I believe that the people who use religion for their excuse are just talking plain bs. God created all people, therefore he created them because he wanted homosexuals to be, well, homosexuals.

The problem with that argument... well, then, did God create a murderer to be a murderer? Did God create a rapist to be a rapist?

Obviously, those aren't really fair comparisons in this case. I think a fairer comparison in the case of people against it is that of a drug addict; they believe that homosexuality can indirectly hurt those who know the person, but it mostly affects the person him/herself and is a personal issue or struggle. But many do believe that homosexuality is a sin that can be given up. I have read about people who have given up the lifestyle because they found it dysfunctional and stressful (and because it did not fit their personal beliefs). People have struggled against it and succeeded.

One thing I've read about it before, however, is that homosexuality doesn't really have to do with whom you love; it has to do with what gender you're physically attracted to or prefer having sex with. And I've heard (although I'm not sure how much truth there is to it) that it has to do with a person's biology, that it's something slightly wrong with the balance of the amounts of testocerone or estrogen in the body, which means it's biological.

I think another reason people are against it is because many couples want to adopt children. People are afraid that these children will not have proper care because they will have no father figure or mother figure within their family, depending on the adoptive parents. The child would have two mothers or two fathers, which doesn't give them the proper balance in their bringing up. Which, I suppose, is kind of like a child raised with a single parent in some ways.

As for my stand... I don't know. I agree with the reasons that everybody has has given. I'm really undecided on the issue myself. I just thought I'd throw what I know out there.

[Crystal]

I'm unfortunately quite undecided on the issue myself. So I don't bother saying anything usually. I don't and have never hated homosexuals, but it's the act itself that I dislike. However, I usually choose a live-and-let-live kind of thing on this issue.

Of course, I HAVE been prejudiced rather on this - simply and extremely selfishly because it confuses my idea of what 'friendship' should be and what 'courting' should be. To take an example, right now, there is no way on earth I'm going to go out walking with just one of my friends, a guy, alone in the shopping mall, just the two of us or something. Even though I KNOW he's not intrested in me or anything... I just wouldn't, if you understand what I mean. But I WOULD go out alone with one of my girl friends. What would happen to this once you don't know who is a homo and who is hetero? I wouldn't hug anyone anymore, for fear of being teased. Nor would I dare to touch them, I'd behave towards them like the way most hetero people behave toward the opposite sex - aloof. I know this is all selfish and foolish and self-centered... but I can't help it. If I dig down far enough, this is why. It's not because it's different or anything, it's not because the Bible said so, even though that DOES play a major part. It's because it confuses my idea of what is appropriate.

We're told to avoid certain kinds of contact with the opposite sex, especially for me because of the enviroment in which I was brought up. You know, avoid intimate hugs towards the opposite sex, avoid holding hands, except on really special occasions and stuff. What if I have to behave that way to everybody? Hold myself aloof the way I do now to the guys? I mean, guys and girls go out in groups, we laugh and talk together, we're friends. But it's just the way here. You don't touch each other. Even holding hands is too far unless you're going out. I don't want to lose being able to hug and glomp my female friends, too. And this is the way everybody I know behaves.

Maybe things are different in the US. Please don't laugh or sneer or spurn me because of what I said. Maybe just don't reply to this post at all. I know I'm selfish and self-centered in this, you don't have to tell me that. I'm sorry. But I AM telling you the truth. And I can't change the truth.

Maybe I shouldn't post this at all...

Maybe...

[thegreenmooseofdoom]

SLE said:

Obviously, those aren't really fair comparisons in this case. I think a fairer comparison in the case of people against it is that of a drug addict; they believe that homosexuality can indirectly hurt those who know the person, but it mostly affects the person him/herself and is a personal issue or struggle. But many do believe that homosexuality is a sin that can be given up. I have read about people who have given up the lifestyle because they found it dysfunctional and stressful (and because it did not fit their personal beliefs). People have struggled against it and succeeded.

You can't 'give up' homosexuality. It's an unchangable aspect of yourself, just like heterosexuality. You can't just 'give up' your heterosexuality, can you? Why do you think homosexuality is any different?
Those people you were talking about, the ones that 'changed their lifestyles'... they were either not homosexual to begin with, or they are just lying to themselves and denying that aspect of themselves.
It is NOT something you can change, ever.
Trust me on this.

[Princess Ember Mononoke]

Crystal said:

I'm unfortunately quite undecided on the issue myself. So I don't bother saying anything usually. I don't and have never hated homosexuals, but it's the act itself that I dislike. However, I usually choose a live-and-let-live kind of thing on this issue.

Of course, I HAVE been prejudiced rather on this - simply and extremely selfishly because it confuses my idea of what 'friendship' should be and what 'courting' should be. To take an example, right now, there is no way on earth I'm going to go out walking with just one of my friends, a guy, alone in the shopping mall, just the two of us or something. Even though I KNOW he's not intrested in me or anything... I just wouldn't, if you understand what I mean. But I WOULD go out alone with one of my girl friends. What would happen to this once you don't know who is a homo and who is hetero? I wouldn't hug anyone anymore, for fear of being teased. Nor would I dare to touch them, I'd behave towards them like the way most hetero people behave toward the opposite sex - aloof. I know this is all selfish and foolish and self-centered... but I can't help it. If I dig down far enough, this is why. It's not because it's different or anything, it's not because the Bible said so, even though that DOES play a major part. It's because it confuses my idea of what is appropriate.

We're told to avoid certain kinds of contact with the opposite sex, especially for me because of the enviroment in which I was brought up. You know, avoid intimate hugs towards the opposite sex, avoid holding hands, except on really special occasions and stuff. What if I have to behave that way to everybody? Hold myself aloof the way I do now to the guys? I mean, guys and girls go out in groups, we laugh and talk together, we're friends. But it's just the way here. You don't touch each other. Even holding hands is too far unless you're going out. I don't want to lose being able to hug and glomp my female friends, too. And this is the way everybody I know behaves.

Maybe things are different in the US. Please don't laugh or sneer or spurn me because of what I said. Maybe just don't reply to this post at all. I know I'm selfish and self-centered in this, you don't have to tell me that. I'm sorry. But I AM telling you the truth. And I can't change the truth.

Maybe I shouldn't post this at all...

Maybe...

Actually, I thought of that too.

I have absolutely NOTHING against homosexuals. I think there's nothing wrong with it. But somehow, it still weirds me out a little. One of my good online friends is a lesbian, and another is bisexual, and I feel completely comfortable with that. But it would be different if I found out that one of my real life friends was a lesbian - I'd have the same issues you do, about whether or not I could hug them as a friend anymore. And I don't think I could date a bisexual guy. It would just be kind of weird, going out with someone I could talk about how hot Orli is with.
And you know what? I feel bad that I feel that way, but I can't help it. I'm trying to though. I've gotten better at accepting things I find different. I had to, sincce both of my uncles are gay. I still get weirded out seeing them together with their boyfriends, but I try my best to be accepting. I know I'm not one to judge people for being different.

[sollunaestrella]

thegreenmooseofdoom said:

You can't 'give up' homosexuality. It's an unchangable aspect of yourself, just like heterosexuality. You can't just 'give up' your heterosexuality, can you? Why do you think homosexuality is any different?
Those people you were talking about, the ones that 'changed their lifestyles'... they were either not homosexual to begin with, or they are just lying to themselves and denying that aspect of themselves.
It is NOT something you can change, ever.
Trust me on this.

You might not be able to change the biological aspect, but you can decide not to act upon it, can't you? I could "give up" heterosexuality that way if I really wanted to - it wouldn't change my heterosexuality, it would just change my sexual practice.

Not that I have any sexual practice right now. YOu know what I mean.

[Crystal]

Ember said:

Actually, I thought of that too.

I have absolutely NOTHING against homosexuals. I think there's nothing wrong with it. But somehow, it still weirds me out a little. One of my good online friends is a lesbian, and another is bisexual, and I feel completely comfortable with that. But it would be different if I found out that one of my real life friends was a lesbian - I'd have the same issues you do, about whether or not I could hug them as a friend anymore. And I don't think I could date a bisexual guy. It would just be kind of weird, going out with someone I could talk about how hot Orli is with.
And you know what? I feel bad that I feel that way, but I can't help it. I'm trying to though. I've gotten better at accepting things I find different. I had to, sincce both of my uncles are gay. I still get weirded out seeing them together with their boyfriends, but I try my best to be accepting. I know I'm not one to judge people for being different.

Yep. That's it. Almost exactly the way I feel, except that my uncle's not gay... I don't know many gay/lesbians online, but I do know Greeney, and as far as I know she's still one of the people I admire. It's just that in real life I'll be very confused about this sorta thing.

[Buddy]

Crystal said:

I'm unfortunately quite undecided on the issue myself. So I don't bother saying anything usually. I don't and have never hated homosexuals, but it's the act itself that I dislike. However, I usually choose a live-and-let-live kind of thing on this issue.

Of course, I HAVE been prejudiced rather on this - simply and extremely selfishly because it confuses my idea of what 'friendship' should be and what 'courting' should be. To take an example, right now, there is no way on earth I'm going to go out walking with just one of my friends, a guy, alone in the shopping mall, just the two of us or something. Even though I KNOW he's not intrested in me or anything... I just wouldn't, if you understand what I mean. But I WOULD go out alone with one of my girl friends. What would happen to this once you don't know who is a homo and who is hetero? I wouldn't hug anyone anymore, for fear of being teased. Nor would I dare to touch them, I'd behave towards them like the way most hetero people behave toward the opposite sex - aloof. I know this is all selfish and foolish and self-centered... but I can't help it. If I dig down far enough, this is why. It's not because it's different or anything, it's not because the Bible said so, even though that DOES play a major part. It's because it confuses my idea of what is appropriate.

We're told to avoid certain kinds of contact with the opposite sex, especially for me because of the enviroment in which I was brought up. You know, avoid intimate hugs towards the opposite sex, avoid holding hands, except on really special occasions and stuff. What if I have to behave that way to everybody? Hold myself aloof the way I do now to the guys? I mean, guys and girls go out in groups, we laugh and talk together, we're friends. But it's just the way here. You don't touch each other. Even holding hands is too far unless you're going out. I don't want to lose being able to hug and glomp my female friends, too. And this is the way everybody I know behaves.

Maybe things are different in the US. Please don't laugh or sneer or spurn me because of what I said. Maybe just don't reply to this post at all. I know I'm selfish and self-centered in this, you don't have to tell me that. I'm sorry. But I AM telling you the truth. And I can't change the truth.

Maybe I shouldn't post this at all...

Maybe...

Crystal, I can really understand where you're coming from. And it's kind of an interesting sociological observation (big words! Woo!). In America, it's widely considered a lot more accepted for a boy and a girl to hug or hold hands who aren't going out. It just is.

So, I guess how well you accept homosexuality really depends on how well you accept sexuality in general. If you're very open with it (such as in America), you're more likely to be okay with homosexuality, as are you with almost any other type of sexuality. If you live in a culture which fiercely discourages any type of sexuality (such as Malaysia (no offense intended, of course)), then you're more likely to find the whole concept as weird/foreign/wrong. Interesting, I think...

As for me, well, I don't know how I'd react if one of my friend were gay. I'd like to say I'd be okay with it, and knowing me, I might. But then, there's no way to really know untill you get there.

I do, however, know of a person at my school who are gay, or at least, probably are. And I really have no problem with it. I talk and chat and make jokes with them just as I do with all of my other friends.

SLE said:

You might not be able to change the biological aspect, but you can decide not to act upon it, can't you? I could "give up" heterosexuality that way if I really wanted to - it wouldn't change my heterosexuality, it would just change my sexual practice.

What, are you saying it's okay to be gay, as long as you don't act on it? What, it's alright, as long as the world doesn't have to see it, hear it, acknowledge it, or even know of it's existance?

And if you can change you sexuality, go ahead - do it! I'm serious! You claim to be able to do so, so go ahead! Give it a test! See if it's true.

[sollunaestrella]

Buddy said:

What, are you saying it's okay to be gay, as long as you don't act on it? What, it's alright, as long as the world doesn't have to see it, hear it, acknowledge it, or even know of it's existance?

And if you can change you sexuality, go ahead - do it! I'm serious! You claim to be able to do so, so go ahead! Give it a test! See if it's true.

No, no, no! That's not what I'm saying. I've already said that I'm undecided on this issue.

And I never said you could change your sexuality - or that it's okay to be gay as long as you don't practice it. I don't know what I believe yet. All I said is that a person could change his or her actions toward his/her sexuality. Heck, a gay person still has a gender and could easily have heterosexual sex, and a straight person could have homosexual sex. The sexuality part of it, I believe, is which you prefer - whether you're physically attracted to males, females, or both.

But still, I don't know yet. Really, I don't.

[Buddy]

SLE said:

No, no, no! That's not what I'm saying. I've already said that I'm undecided on this issue.

And I never said you could change your sexuality - or that it's okay to be gay as long as you don't practice it. I don't know what I believe yet. All I said is that a person could change his or her actions toward his/her sexuality. Heck, a gay person still has a gender and could easily have heterosexual sex, and a straight person could have homosexual sex. The sexuality part of it, I believe, is which you prefer - whether you're physically attracted to males, females, or both.

But still, I don't know yet. Really, I don't.

Heh, I was just wondering...

[Princess Ember Mononoke]

To Sol:

Sure, homosexuals could "be with" people of the opposite sex, but is that really fair to them? Is it really fair that they have to "get with" people they don't love?

And I don't get your point about homosexuality being PURELY a a physical attraction. Are you saying that homosexuals actually fall in love with members of the opposite sex, but don't want to have sex with them (doesn't make any sense to me) or are you saying that they aren't capable of love at all?