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Post by aakfish on Sept 12, 2004 13:44:25 GMT -5
Can you please review my short story, Second to None? Thank you! My short story, 'They Don't Call it Freaky Factory for Nothing!', please? I will get these both reviewed very shortly. The NT seems to be down right now.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 12, 2004 14:13:31 GMT -5
I will get these both reviewed very shortly. The NT seems to be down right now. The whole site is down.
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Post by char on Sept 12, 2004 14:26:53 GMT -5
The whole site is down.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 12, 2004 15:24:39 GMT -5
I have a review for A Sister's Embrace.. I love this story! I love unhappy stories in the Times. I guess it was unhappy, it made me very sad, but the end was kind of a cheer up.. was the story originally that way, or did you originally have Sunjat actually drown and you couldn't put that into the Times? I'm very curious.. Anyway, I actually went back and read your story Under the Poplar Tree. This amazed me, too. You are such a good writer, I am going to keep an eye out for your stories.. keep it up! Thank you very, very much! Yeah, originally Sunjat drowned, but there's kind of a "no death" policy, so I re-phrased it. The same thing kind of happened with "Eternal Spirit"...Druba was supposed to die, but I figured he really couldn't. And I'm happy to hear you liked "Under the Poplar Tree" I like sad stories as well, and the happy thing just doesn't work for me. Don't worry...I'm writing more sad stories!
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Post by marysue on Sept 12, 2004 16:54:33 GMT -5
Oooh, that is what I thought! Do you have the original still saved, or did you just sort of edit it and get rid of the original? if you still have the one where Sunjat dies, I would really like to read it.
Like I said, I enjoy reading unhappy stories in the NT.. they're just a change of pace from the usual insanity. I'm actually worried now because the story I am working on is too happy :/ but I guess I will submit it anyway.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 12, 2004 16:56:03 GMT -5
Oooh, that is what I thought! Do you have the original still saved, or did you just sort of edit it and get rid of the original? if you still have the one where Sunjat dies, I would really like to read it. As a matter of fact, I think I still have it saved somewhere or other...I'll have to dig around, but I'll PM it to you.
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Post by tennisblondie16 on Sept 12, 2004 17:05:11 GMT -5
A review of Tima and Again, my short story, would be immensely appreciated! Sure thing!
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Post by tennisblondie16 on Sept 12, 2004 17:05:48 GMT -5
Can you please review my short story, Second to None? Thank you! I'll review yours, also!
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Post by costaricangirl on Sept 12, 2004 18:46:06 GMT -5
New Series Reviews: A Mind in the Moonlight WARNING: Don't read this review if you don't want to be spoiled about something that happens near the end of this part. Most of my review has to be tempered by the fact that we discover at the end of this part that everything up utnil then has been a dream. The choice to write in present tense struck me as an unusual one, but by the end of the part it made sense, since the part in present tense turned out to be a dream. You pulled it off better than most-- only slipping into past tense a couple of times. I was also going to comment on the fact that we don't really get a lot of development of the friendship between the kougra and aisha and their personalities and thoughts and feelings, and that the story, though easy to follow, seemed rather straightforward and bare of much description. How much time had elapsed between the first section and the next was also unclear. But again, it seems these things could perhaps be chalked up to the effort to give the feeling of a dream, so it will remain to be seen how the rest of the series is written. The one thing that I would say didn't quite make sense given that this was a dream was that it contained scenes where the aisha was not present and thoughts and feelings from characters other than herself, so she could not have had the memories to make up those parts of the dream. Of course, it's possible that her mind filled those parts of the dream in. I rather disliked Clark. He reminded me of a "friend" I had in elementary school who also decided one day that he had to drop me in order to hang out with "the guys" and be cool. Of course, you give us a chance to sympathize with him a bit as well and see how he's being manipulated, though I would say his thoughts and feeling seem to flip-flop a bit too easily and quickly to be convincing. What happens to the aisha and the life that she goes on to lead because of it were quite interesting. I wonder how the other thieves react to her state during the day, and it will be interesting in future parts to see how she decides to get revenge on Clark and whether or not she really goes through with it and succeeds. And I hope we'll ger more insight into all the characters as that is revealed as well. Finally: Wow, 11 and a half hours of sleep! I wanna be a thief! Thanks Tdyans!! Yeah, I wrote that series like a month and a half or more ago and my writing's improved a LOT since then... This one's not really that good lol! I slipped to past tense a few times? Dang it I thought I edited closely enough! Oh well. Thanks for such a detailed review!!!
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Post by costaricangirl on Sept 12, 2004 18:58:13 GMT -5
A Mind in the Moonlight: Part OneOooh, scary! I think it's a very nice first part. It seems a little fast-paced, but the awesome storyline makes up for it. I love the poem about the shadows! Can't wait to see what happens to Lael. Thanks so much!! I really appreciate it.
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Post by costaricangirl on Sept 12, 2004 18:59:23 GMT -5
Warning: All my reveiws may be spoilers.... Mind in the Moonlight: Part One I really liked how it was haunting. You had a couple of typo's here and there, and maybe instead of writing 10 12, you could write them out. Ten and twelve Thankies for the review! Wait... when did I write 10 12? I am forgetful... XD
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Post by issue100 on Sept 12, 2004 18:59:53 GMT -5
Elementa's Top Three Comics
Don’t blame me #1—This is by far one of the funniest comics I have ever read in the Neopian Times !
Usuki trouble #2—This was EXTREMELY well drawn and the plot was funny—just not hilarious enough for the number one spot!
Rock pool rascals #3—lol ! very funny !
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Post by Deleted on Sept 12, 2004 19:14:54 GMT -5
SQUAD MISSION: Part 2 I really liked this, I found the chef funny and entertaining. I love how you give the lupe an aura of mystery, the only thing was how can a water faerie stand up if she can't walk? Well, when I said that, I meant that Fenris stood up with Misty on his back... =/ Yeah, it was sort of confusing. Sorry.
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Post by redpen on Sept 12, 2004 19:31:03 GMT -5
No worries. ^.^
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Post by Deleted on Sept 12, 2004 21:25:34 GMT -5
Elementa's Top Three ComicsDon’t blame me #1—This is by far one of the funniest comics I have ever read in the Neopian Times ! Usuki trouble #2—This was EXTREMELY well drawn and the plot was funny—just not hilarious enough for the number one spot! Rock pool rascals #3—lol ! very funny ! Wow Thanks! ^_^ That's quite a review. Thanks to everyone else who did a comic review! I'm just too lazy yo go back and quote all of them
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