Bandit Leader Medium humanoid (wood elf, tallest bandit at 5’10”) Armor Class 15 (hide armour) Hit Points 18 Speed 35 ft. STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA 11 (+0) 14 (+3) 14 (+2) 10 (+0) 10 (+0) 10 (+0) Senses passive Perception 10, darkvision 60 ft. Languages: Common, Elvish. Only he and Niles can read. Other: can’t be put to sleep by magic, adv on saving throws vs. charm
Actions Scimitar. Melee Weapon Attack: +5 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 1d6 + 3 slashing damage.
Light Crossbow. Ranged Weapon Attack: +5 to hit, range 80 ft./320 ft., one target. Hit: 1d8 + 3 piercing damage.
Thorn whip- needs to take a sample of thorned plant from his desk (or a pouch at his belt), make a melee spell attack (+2 to hit, 1d6 piercing damage.) One action. If creature is Large or smaller, he pulls it up to ten feet closer to him.
Reactions Parry. Volan adds 2 to his AC against one melee attack that would hit him. To do so, he must see the attacker and be wielding a melee weapon.
Reading over my notes: I often mention in passing that the armour the bandits wear (insomuch as they actually do wear it) is a mixture of Ur and Cai armours. These are both made of leather, but there are some differences. Standard (Anzi's is a bit different) Ur armour consists of somewhat bark-like overlapping pieces (at a quick google this was the closest to what I pictured in my mind, at least from the torso up, if slightly too elaborate), whereas Cai armour is smoother (idek what it would actually look like, theater of the mind yay!)
The main point being: these Do Not Mesh Well. They are also different colours- brown leather with dark blue details represents Ur, and black leather with deep green details indicates service to Cai.
So in short: your average (Crezonis-connected) bandit has something like one Cai bracer and a severely damaged Ur chest piece- which they've probably scratched random designs into out of boredom- and maybe one greave which doesn't fit properly, no matter how much they adjust it; so they eventually give up and use it as an improvised weapon.
tl;dr they're a mess, okay, but they're doing their best with what they have!
Last Edit: Mar 6, 2019 14:48:40 GMT -5 by Thorn: GREAVE. Greave was the word I was looking for.
((Note: These notes are incomplete, and there's 30 minutes more of RP for me to write down. But given how session is tomorrow, I felt I should put up what I have. I plan to finish tomorrow; please check back at that time for the rest of it! Since me stopping where I am cuts off some important conversations and also just some good times.))
It's 7:15, the rain is abating. They're at Deyn still. Basil tells the others they're taking a walk, then takes off with Juniper. Amani: “What are they up to?” Meallan raises an eyebrow and flicks an ear, but says nothing.
Tally is surprised Basil and Juniper are going so fast but is so happy that they're seeing to their needs and supports them. She tells them to have fun and be safe. Anthony: “WOO HOOOOO!” Khamet thinks Basil and Juniper will be good influences on each other and will not get up to any trouble whatsoever! Amani: “I don't want to know.”
Crezonis' left little finger is missing; he keeps running his fingers over the stump. His clothes are torn. Dark grey necrotic scar across his torso thanks to Meallan. It still hurts. The elves and centaurs regrouped over the slightly charred house. Tyzol moves to the elves and centaurs. Her hand doesn't leave her axe and she still has her eye on her Crezonis.
Meallan: “This town; how badly burned is it?” One elf: “Well, there's not an awful lot left, I mean... It wasn't razed to the ground exactly, but... there's not a lot left.” “Is the apothecary still up?” “I don't know--” Anthony: “Was the tavern spared?” “I don't think you're asking the right questions here...” Meallan: “Did you manage to evacuate them?” “No.”
Tyzol: “Well, the apothecary was not spared. If it's ingredients you're after, you may be able to find something.” Meallan wants to find healing herbs and incense. She indicates that they might have incense, but says she doesn't know much about magic. (While handling her axe.) She points Meallan towards the apothecary, and Meallan heads there.
Anthony: “And which way was the tavern?” “We didn't actually have a tavern. It was a small-- I can see this troubles you greatly. (Some IRL thing happened with Thundy.) … I mean, I probably have some sort of alcoholic beverage back where I'm staying. You did do us a great justice. ...I mean, you didn't kill that one, but-” Anthony: “I'll drink to that!” They go off to drink together.
Amani wants to make sure that Crezonis is tied up. Crezonis insists that Tally or Khamet tie him back up. Amani: “So long as someone does it, I don't care.” And so long as it's done well. Khamet: “I suppose I'll restrain him if all of you are alright with that.” They let him. (OOC: “Khamet is just like extremely competent at tying people up; don't question him.”) Amani watches because the other ones somehow became loose. Amani legit doesn't know. Khamet doesn't know how that happened, it was so weirrrd. =o Amani helps Khamet tie Crezonis up. Khamet... does poorly! The knot... is tied. Kha0met looks happy with the knot he's tied. He brush-claps his hands together. “This is perfect, Crezonis cannot escape at all! Okay buddy, it's you and me!” Amani examines the knot (Crezonis is edgy when Amani approaches; Amani doesn't care) and notices that the knot around his legs isn't tied well at all. Crezonis could just wriggle that off. Amani turns to Khamet and just... points at the rope and stares. “What exactly is wrong? The rope is tied...” “The rope isn't tied very well.” “(something about Crezonis) seems leery.” “I want to talk about the rope. Specifically how it might fall off him.” Khamet investigates the rope and notices that it's not as good as he first thought it was. “Oh. I guess I never really trained in my knot-tying skills... Well, if you want to take a crack at it...” “Uh... If you want me to? I, uh... um, okay! Um, okay!” They try to tie the rope! Amani... Also does poorly! (Crezonis: “If I knew how to properly tie myself up, I'd help you. It seems you're having trouble.”) Amani: “Um. There!” The rope is slightly better, but... not by much.
Meallan picks up some charcoal. (Amani grabs some too.) Then he looks around for anything undamaged; herbs and incense. And he manages to find some. He drops his disguise (because no one can see him anyway) and starts a ritual; it takes an hour. And since he needs a short rest afterwards, it takes about 2 hours.
Anthony: “What's up with the healthcare system in this place man?” Ty: “I don't think we have one.” “Well, you're right, you're right. In the future, we got hospitals, you just go there when you're injured. None of this healing stuff...” Ty: “It's been 10 minutes, why are we acting like this already?” There's OOC joking about chugging the alcohol, and Anthony using some of his own stuff. “What is this, dwarven stuff?” “There's just this wine bottle that's-! Uh oh...” ((OOC, we all lose it. Thorn: “You're gonna kill my favorite NPC!”)) They fail their saves and are poisoned. “Hey, you okay? Hey, that tall cat guy was gonna search for some healing stuff, let's go find him.” “That might be a good idea. I feel like my throat is closing up a bit.” “Ugh, what's in this stuff?” “I don't know, you gave it to us! I- gah!” They go try to find Meallan for help. (Anthony: “At least we know it works!”)
Amani and Khamet... talk. About finding a topic of conversation to talk about. They talk about rope-tying first, then spider webs, then spiders and whether they're actually good at spinning webs. Then the weather, which Amani vetoes, then philosophy, to which Amani wonders whether it's stale academic philosophy or actually finding peace and meaning in your life, then Khamet arguing that the two intersect, Amani disagreeing, and them arguing briefly about that. Crezonis is very bored. He stands there not looking at the village.
Tally moves further away from Amani and Khamet's senseless conversation and goes to check out one of the houses with the elves. She asks if she needs any help. The elf (same one who spoke to Meallan) replies: Yes. Her brother went missing when the bandits attacked. He chased off an injured bandit during the raid and he went off into the woods. It's been a few days and he hasn't been seen since. She appeals to Tally to help find her brother. If Tally finds him, she'll give Tally her magic spice pouch. (Tally: “Well, that would be useful to bribe somebody else I know...” (Regarding getting the others to help. She mentions that she might have some difficulty there.) Tally agrees. The elf says that he went towards the treeline. (About the same direction Juniper went.) Tally mentions how it'd be difficult to find him after a few days, but “The least we can do is try.” Elf: “I mean, he wouldn't just leave. But I just don't want to not try.” The elf says that her name is Venali.
Khamet: “Well Amani, it seems like you are an independent young, uh, person. Do you want to, y'know, party it up in the nearby burned settlement with the others? Or do you want to watch Crezonis?” Am: “I mean, I think at least one of us should keep an eye on Crezonis. Even if he is telling the truth, we can't say the same for Arcaito.” So Amani still wants to watch Crezonis. Khamet feels bad that Crezonis is just in one place. “Hello Crezonis! Do you want to pick things from the forest with me, or are you content just staying here, with our dear friend... friend... Amani?” (Am: “It's okay, you don't have to flatter me.”) Crezonis says they would much rather stay with Khamet. K: “Okay. In that case, I will keep Crezonis company, and I will try to find leaves for a very special project of mine. And Amani, if you wish to look for leaves with me, you can. If you wish to stare at the clouds, you can also do that. And also, I think academic philosophy and the philosophy about finding peace do intersect, and in fact, the reason anyone goes into academic philosophy is because they need to--” he rambles on and on. Amani eventually interrupts. “No, I guess I don't have anything better to do than watch Crezonis, so, I can follow you to help you pick... leaves... or... whatever it is... you... do... out... in the woods.” “I need really big nice leaves.” Crez: “Okay, I'm gonna ask a serious question, Khamet. ...Do you want me, to slip out of these, very very skilled knots? Or should I just hobble along and pretend they're working?” Am: “We have time.” Khamet says he trusts them enough to not slip out of these very skilled knots, and they can always try again. Am: “Even if you trust Crezonis, you can't trust Arcaito.” “Well, either way, he might still get away from our very, very, well done knots. I don't think it matters either way. He's more comfortable free than hobbled, I think.” C: “Thank you.” Am: “...I still did a better job than you did.” K: “You aren't wrong, Amani. You aren't wrong. But I still think he should... We can try again.” “I'm not worried about trying again, I'm worried about in-between.” “But it won't make a difference.” Amani tries to keep Crezonis' legs tied, and won't let Crez take them off. “I don't really have advice on how to make this stay on better, but why don't you go find Meallan? He's good at this.” K: “Mmmnaaah” C: “I promise I won't run off. I can't even move very well in a forest. If you keep that in mind, it should be fine.” K: “If Arcaito does show up, the bindings aren't going to do anything.” A: “...I suppose if something happens, I'll just mind-spike him.” C: “Don't do that. ._. Was that what that was? That was, not great.” K: “Well, I guess sometimes drastic problems sometimes require drastic solutions. I trust Amani will be more judicious about mind spike.” They take Crez into the woods with the poorly tied knots.
Tally sees them go off, and Crez having trouble moving. “...Okay?” Tally has other things to deal with. She asks the elves: “Before we- before I head off, are you planning to try to rebuild this town? Is there anything that can be done specifically?” “We don't know, we have to hear back from Ur about what they want us to do, and we're just not sure at this stage.” “You've already managed to contact them?” “Yes, it's been a few days. We actually managed to contact one of the guards, and they came back, we got centaurs, they've been helpful. But we just don't know, we still need to hear what Ur wants us to do with this place. We can wait for Ur, it's fine.” “When we go back to Zaihar, we can tell them the news and remind them.” “Thank you.” They exchange names. Venali: “Thank you. And I hope you can find my brother.”
Anthony and Tyzol stumble out into the street. In the bar, Anthony: “No one's been poisoned, no one's been poisoned!” Goes out. “There's plenty more poison where that came from!” Tyzol: “Anthony!” Anthony: “Yeah, okay. MEALLAN! MEALLAN!” Ty: “WHERE WAS HE GOING AGAIN, I FORGET” An: “HE WAS GOING TO THE APOTHECARY, WHERE'S THE APOTHECARY” Ty: “I DON'T KNOW I CAN'T EVEN SEE PROPERLY” An: “OH! MY EYES ARE BURNING SO MUCH” Ty: “MY FACE IS ON FIRE” An: “MEALLAN!” Ty: “IT'S LIKE WHEN YOU CAN'T FEEL YOUR TOES WHEN YOU'RE WEARING TIGHT BOOTS” An: “UGH I FEEL COLD AND HOT AT THE SAME TIME” Ty: “MEALLAN!”
Tally and Meallan both hear this. Meallan pays no attention. (Amani hears screaming of Meallan and something about shoes being too tight. Amani: “Oh, Meallan's complaining about something petty. It's nothing.” Khamet fake-solemnly puts his hand over his heart. “Poor Meallan.” Am: “May we remember him and his untied shoelaces.” Kh: “Yes.”)
Anthony and Tyzol go to Tally, and Tally excuses herself from the elves to head to the two poisoned idiots. Tally asks what's going on. Tyzol: “WE CAN'T SEE, ELF LADY!” Tal: “Ah, but you can see I'm an elf.” Tyzol stammers unintelligibly. “I can see shapes!” Anthony: “Tally help, we drank the wasp poison!” Ty: “It was wasp poison?!” Tal: “Why did you drink the wasp poison?” Ty: “ANTHONY!” An: “I was trying to impress her!” Ty: “I'M GOING TO BITE YOUR FACE OFF! SO HARD!” An: “Aw man, that's not what I wanted! I mean, kind of similar, but not exactly!” Tal: “I've had bad dates before, but not exactly.” Ty: “NOT A DATE!” An: “Wait, really?? Aww!” Ty: “A DATE WOULD NOT FEED ME WASP POISON!” An: “Agh!!” ((Thundy: “Oh please don't let this be how my character dies.”))
We talk for a bit about how to treat this poisoning without magical intervention. Tally suggests they drink water, and shortly after just tries to fetch Meallan. Anthony and Tyzol follow.
Meallan has drawn a circle, lain things out. He's sitting at the edge of the circle, reading, starting to light incense. Tally bursts in. “Hi.” Mea: “...Yes?” Tal: “I know, I know, you're very disturbed, and-” Meallan is quickly putting away all his stuff. Tal: “What are you smoking?” (Anthony and Tyzol argue in the background for a bit.) Mea: “I'm not smoking anything. I was trying to summon something.” Tal: “Yes, I am sure I disturbed you in something extremely important, and that is absolutely awful-” (Mea: “Yes it was.”) “and, uh, I would only have done this if an absolutely idiot had ingested, drunk, poison, and that is exactly what happened, and if you heard any screaming, that is probably what it was all about, and we have a wonderful opportunity to save peoples' lives right there, and maybe have them indebted to you, and maybe owe you a favor later if that's your thing, so, basically, DO SOMETHING PLEASE!” Mea: “...What do you expect me to do? I don't know much about curing poison.” Tal: “Probably a bit, better than me!” Mea: “I suppose I can try.” (Anthony: “Oh god, it feels like a percussion orchestra in my stomach!” Tyzol: “I HATE YOU!” Tally: “Does it have a good beat?”) Meallan looks around for anything in the apothecary that could help. ...Nat 20!
Apparently, giant wasps are just a problem in the area, so there's a convenient potion in the corner labeled: “Wasp poison antidote.” Meallan: “...This should do it.” Anthony: “...Give it to her first! It's my fault!” Tyzol: “...I still hate you.” Meallan's a firbolg, which is new to Tyzol. Her reaction: “You look taller!” (He's 7'7”. A bit taller than Tyzol.) Tyzol drinks the antidote. Disgusted sounds. “What was that sorcery?!” Mea: “It's antidote.” Ty: “...You got fluffy ears!” Mea: “Yes, this is, a... disguise. I was preparing.” Ty: “It's nice. This is not very good.” An: “This stuff tastes like Satan's butt!” Ty: “I don't know who Satan is!” Meallan pulls back Anthony's hair and forces him to drink the rest of the potion, and casts Spare the Dying on them both just to be sure.
Then he sighs deeply. “Please do not disturb me again. I'm trying to complete something.” Tyzol's already storming off. Anthony: “I'll call you!!” Tyzol: “...I'll still bite your face off!” Meallan: “...I do not know what you're doing. I don't care what you're doing. Please don't disturb me again.” And he goes back into the house. Tally wants to apologize, but trails off.
Khamet, Amani, and Crezonis are off in the woods to find herbs and leaves! (Moni: “But most importantly, leaves.”) Am: “So, what kind of plants are you looking for?” “I'm looking for leaves.” “What kind of leaves?” “Leaves. Pretty ones. Pretty, nice, solid leaves.” “...Why? Wh-what are they for?” “I'm going to make an umbrella for Talsindra, because she needs protection from the sun.” “Oh! Um, okay.”
Crezonis is bit more relaxed after stepping away from Deyn, but he's confused by Khamet's motives. “One will make due with what one has.” “How do you plan to make an umbrella out of...?” “Okay. Leaves + Twigs = You get a very good umbrella” Am: “Or a very bad one.” Crez: “I have questions.” Kh: “Or a very bad one! Well, it's not like I have anything better to do.” Am: “...Me neither.”
So they look for leaves! Amani also looks for herbs, components, and anything edible, while occasionally picking up whatever leaves they fine. They get moss, mushrooms, and sorrel.
Crezonis wants to help, but he's still pretending to be tied up. Khamet wants to give him a bit more freedom. Khamet asks Amani if they mind if Crezonis helps. Am: “Sure. If he tries to give us anything poisonous, I'll do something about it.” Kh: “...I mean. They're leaves. Crez: “I just assumed they were all poisonous.” Kh: “You know, that's not a terrible way of looking at plants, Crezonis.” Am: “It isn't until you're hungry, or starving.” Crez: “I don't eat leaves!”
Meallan tells Tally: “If you want to watch, you can, I don't mind.” “...Um, I really appreciate that. This set-up isn't really my thing...” “I'm not asking for help.” “Um...” Meallan says she can watch so as to see he's not up to anything suspicious. Tally agrees for a little while.
Anthony goes out for a walk all depressed. Cue sad music.
Amani realizes: How is this umbrella going to be kept from rotting; preserved? Kh: “Hm, I guess we could look for a hive, cover everything in beeswax. First we create the leaf sheet, then we'll cover it with this substance sometime in the future.” They walk back to Deyn, and Crezonis goes quiet again. They argue a bit about whether it's a good idea to melt down a beehive for this. Khamet argues against killing any bees. Am: “Well, you're destroying their home.” Khamet talks about creating a new home for them out of wood. Am: “Okay, I don't know how to do that?” They argue for a bit. Amani's new suggestion: Take the honey while Khamet deals with the bees. They talk about this for a bit, and Khamet feels guilty about one other time with bees. </3 Finally, they decide to look around and see if they can find... well, anything. Amani's not picky. They decide to try to find something in the ruined houses for anything. Amani's starting to think this won't work.
They go out searching, and they go into a random house to find preservatives (like honey or beeswax) for the umbrella! It's a normal house. There's a jar of jam. Um. Well, turns out... there's an elf within, as they chose the house near the elves? Venali (who they haven't met) goes: “Um... What are you doing?” “We're looking for something to preserve the leaves in the forest.” “So you're like a leaf collector? Well, have you tried magic spells to preserve leaves, or something like that...?” Am: “Well... Oh. ...Um...” They look embarrassed. Kh: “I... regrettably have a very small amount of money.” Venali: “Oh. Well, um. Well, I mean, I'll help you if I can. But. It so happens that this is my house, and I just feel a little bit... if random strangers are in it, it's not... I'm sorry.” Am: “...Um, no, no, I'm sorry. Um...” Kh: “We're sorry. We shouldn't have assumed this house was uninhabited.” Ven: “It's perfectly fine. Um. Seeing as most of the houses aren't inhabited right now. But um, I would recommend maybe asking the proprietor of the premises next time, before just going into their house.” Am: “...I understand, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.” Kh: “I apologize. That is good advice. I will take your advice in the future.” ((It's very, very awkward.)) Amani walks out of the house embarrassed and sits down next to the house. And eventually realizes “oh crap, Crezonis!”, and sits down near him.
Khamet asks Venali, properly, if she has any preservative material. Venali: “What are you hoping to use these leaves for? Because I really think magic is the best course here.” “I'm going to use these leaves to make an umbrella for our drow friend.” Venali recognizes her. “I think that's a wonderful idea! It's ambitious to make an umbrella out of leaves. Um, I have some jam...? It's sticky, I think it works as a preservative, um, do you want jam...?” Khamet agrees and asks how much for the jam. Venali doesn't make him pay for the jam. She also directs him towards the apothecary for possibly something there. Khamet goes to look for the apothecary. The two introduce themselves to each other.
Khamet goes to grab Amani to go to the apothecary. Amani... is not standing up. Amani's not even listening. Kh: “...Hello Amani! There's an apothecary somewhere in this village! Do you want to go with me?” Amani's quiet for a long while. Then: “Yeah, I guess...? ….I'm trying to find a spell? I... kind of forgot I had them...?” ((Incredulous laughing OOC comments. Someone OOC: “You have one job!!” Am: “I know that sounds silly...”)) Amani eventually stands up and quietly follows Khamet while whispering lists of spells they could possibly use. Amani decides to stay behind with Crezonis while Khamet goes ahead. Amani calls out: “Let me know if you need prestidigitation!! Or ray of frost!!” Kh: “Got it.”
Tally eventually leaves Meallan to his ritual, who's chanting in Sylvan. Tally goes out and sees Khamet. Khamet hears the chanting and whispers loudly: Kh: “Hey! Talsindra! What is our resident firbolg doing??” Tally forehead-slaps and whispers into Khamet's ear. “He's very busy and must not be disturbed until he finishes.” “Okay Tally! How important is it? Is it so important that it would be rude to interrupt him! Very rudely? Or is it not so important that I can interrupt him very rudely?” Tally says no, it would be very rude, and he should not interrupt unless someone is about to die, or if the house is about to burn down, or if a flood is coming, but he would never forgive Khamet if he interrupts. “You must have done something very interesting while we were watching Crezonis. Um, anyway Talsindra! I'm looking for something to help me preserve the leaves of a plant! Can you help me?” “...No.” … “I mean, I wish I could, but I mean, I'd rather be honest with you.” “...Okay. ...Um. When do you think Meallan will be done with his bathroom break?” Tally tries to clarify that no, the chanting firbolg warlock who is burning incense and let Tally watch is not taking a bathroom break.
Tally asks Khamet: “So you say you were watching Crezonis?” “Um, n-no, I just came here.” “...Okay, shall we go watch Crezonis now?” “Oh, Amani is watching Crezonis now!” “Okay, let's go watch Amani watch Crezonis.” “Can we come back when Meallan is done?” “Yes we can.”
They reunite with Amani and Crezonis. Amani is keeping an eye on Crezonis, but otherwise not doing much besides looking glum. Tally: “...Do you like what you see?” Amani is startled. “Um! Um, no! Um, I... I'm just watching him, that's all. Um.” Kh: “And Amani is very good at watching people!” He touches Amani's shoulder with his elbow. “They are very good at watching things!” Crezonis: “I'm not a thing!” Amani: “...Don't patronize me.” Kh: “I'm sorry. You looked very upset.” Am: “Ah. It... It's nothing. Um, did you still want a spell for what you're doing? I can, try...?” Kh: “Um, sure! Let's try a spell.” Except Amani doesn't know a spell. None of their spells really work. And they need to put the umbrella together first anyway. They decide to wait for Meallan to finish. Amani is suddenly interested. “Finish what? What's he doing?” Kh: “You know, Talsindra wouldn't tell me, but it seems like he needs some private time to himself.” Am: “I see.” They stand up. “Can you watch Crezonis for a bit? Um, I just want to go out for a bit, I don't want to disturb Meallan. Can you tell me where he is?” Khamet gives them directions to the apothecary. Amani thanks them, goes off in some direction away, and then circles around to the apothecary where Meallan is.
Tally examines Crezonis. He's very anxious, he's not looking at Deyn. When Amani leaves, he seems a little less tense, but he's still anxious about something. Tally asks Crezonis if anything happened while she was gone. “...We looked for leaves? Got some mushrooms or something? It was weird, but not anything particularly bad.” “O-kay?” “I don't get it either.”
Anthony returns from his walk. He's on his phone, yelling, near Tally and Crezonis. “I don't know! I guess it turns out I should not try and serve poison to women I'm interested in! I know right? I said I'm sorry! I know... Yeah, I guess you're right. Um, I'll call you back! I gotta go!” (??): “...What the hell?” An: “Um, telemarketer.” Tally confirms that poison is not a good step for a healthy relationship. An: “I seem to have gathered that!” Tally: “I really should not offer you any dating tips, but...” An: “Maybe if I offer her flowers? Non-poisonous ones!” Tal: “Flowers... Well, unless she's allergic to them?” “Do you know which flowers are not poisonous?” “...Only one way to find out?” “I'm not eating the flowers!” “How about some kind of candy?” Some kind commonly eaten. “Sure! See any lying around here?” “No... Maybe next time you cook a meal?” Khamet: “Anthony! I have a great idea! Okay? You should just become very very strong and prove yourself in one-on-one combat! Tyzol is clearly a warrior, she will appreciate it!” “Ah, right right right, I got an idea, Khamet! We'll have a fight! You take a dive, right? Don't worry, I know Cure Wounds, I should be able to undo anything if I punch you in the face too much!”
Crezonis: “Is he trying to date the dragonborn, Talsindra?” Tal: “I mean, good taste, right?” Crez: “I don't know!” “It might sound like a very far-fetched method in the first place. But actually, something quite similar, after many many different adventures, turned out to work for me, so...” “I don't think you know what a healthy relationship is.” “No really, really, it--” An: “Neither do I! I don't even have access to Tinder out here!” (??): “Tinder? Everything burned here!” Crezonis thinks they all have messed up relationships. Tally: “I promise it works out better than it sounds.” Crez: “I hope so...” “But it took about 40 years of being messed up before it got better.” An: “Aw man, I'll be old by then!” An: “I'll just make her a peace offering. If that doesn't work, uh. I guess we're off to the next town!” Kh: “I guess that's a strategy?” (??): “Do you have any strategy in mind?” An: “Music!” People seem okay with this idea. (Crezonis to Khamet: “Humans are just weird...” Khamet: “Humans, well, I wouldn't say we are weird, but I'm a human, so perhaps we are very strange to you.”)
Amani goes to apothecary, but not to interfere. They try to sneakily peer in. Meallan is still chanting in Sylvan. The words they pick up with their limited Sylvan language knowledge: “bound, linked, fey of Varentar, come here, master”. There's a ball of light in the circle that's getting bigger, now the size of a cat.
The ritual ends at the end of the hour. And the little battle of light turns into... a little furry sable! <33 Amani can barely hold back their squeeing! Meallan is just delighted at the arrival of his little sable. <33 It climbs onto his shoulders and Meallan pets him and they bond~ Amani leaves and lets them have their moment.
Amani returns to the group to this conversation (but doesn't hear Crezonis): An: “Okay, so I'm gonna play the music, but I'm also gonna challenge her to single combat. Thanks Khamet!” Crez: “I don't see how fighting is very romantic...” Tal: “Just one thing, if she doesn't, give her the option to refuse combat.” An: “Well, yeah, I'm not a barbarian, jeez!” Am: “Why are you fighting Tyzol?? ...Also, I'm back.” Tal: “Because he's desperate!” Kh: “Anthony will fight Tyzol.” Am: “...Why??” Kh: “ because she's a warrior and appreciates fighting.” Am: “ So like, a friendly duel? At a time like this?” Kh: “Something like that.”
Am: “I guess that's a way to... take out her anger... on the bandits... for what happened?” They're very confused?? They didn't hear the part that this was about romance.
Meallan dashes through Deyn so no one sees him as a firbolg. He returns to this conversation: Khamet: “Combat is the best way to make peace!” Am: “Not necessarily...” Meallan's ears flick a moment. “Hello. I'm not sure what you're talking about, but it sounds very interesting.” Tal: “We're talking about Anthony's love life.” Mea: “Oh, then I don't want to know anymore.” Amani goes “wait, Anthony's love life?? This is for love? Is this how people flirt?” Tal: “Well, they're not very good at it, but it's a work in progress, and it takes a very long time to improve.” Amani: “Well, I didn't think this was how people flirt, but if this is how dragonborn flirt...” Meallan is so not interested. Amani is just confused.
Meallan introduces the others to his new little sable, saying his name is Aytal. Amani finally squees aloud. Anthony takes a picture.
(One convo snippet: Anthony: “At some point we drank a lot of wasp poison.” Amani: “Whyyy?”)
Meallan just happily pets his sable. Amani offers to pet. The sable allows it, and petting happens. The sable is so soft. Amani is happy. Aytal climbs onto Amani's shoulders and curls up like a scarf. “Oh, uh-um, okay! Um, what do I do?” M: “You just let him be. He is happy.” Am: “Um, o-okay!” Tal: “You're not allowed to move.” Amani stays very still and does not move!
Crezonis asks after Khamet's leaves and branches. Khamet explains that he's put them together into a curved sheet. Khamet's thinking about the preservatives in the apothecary.
First, Tally asks the group about the sidequest given to her by Venali, and how she offered to help track her brother down. She asks how many want to go along. (Anthony mentions how saving someone could help win over Tyzol!) All the others agree to go. Amani: “I want to help, but someone should keep an eye on Crezonis too.”
They discuss having an NPC in town watch over Crezonis. Amani's uncertain of their abilities. Meallan suggests tying him up somewhere. Khamet: “Crezonis, do you think you can watch yourself for a little while?” Meallan points out that that won't work if Arcaito comes back.
Khamet goes to town to ask someone to watch Crezonis. He runs into Tyzol, who's stomping around grumpily while mumbling about losing some copper and a comb. It takes some persuading to convince her to not murder Crezonis while they're gone. He says that murdering him would be rude (“I think burning down my village is a little rude.” “...I can see your point!”), and then that they can get information from Crezonis, like their creepy warlock friend wants. She sighs and says: “I suppose...” But she doesn't know anyone else who can help babysit him. Tyzol: “But, after! You will find my comb!” Which, that comb wasn't even hers, she was holding it for a friend. She tasks Khamet to find it. (After finding the missing person; that's obviously priority.)
Khamet returns. (Aytal has since returned to Meallan's shoulders. Meallan babytalks them in sweet Sylvan. Amani also tries their hand at babytalk Sylvan, but mixed up the word “soft fur” with “pancake”. Meallan corrects them, and they note that in a little book. Celes and I improv the linguistics of a fictional language.)
Khamet brings up the plan to leave Crezonis with Tyzol. The others are all “uhhhhh”. Crezonis grabs Khamet's arm and says “no, she's going to kill me!” “I convinced her otherwise!” “She would want you to think that!” “You believe her?” “You know what? I'll ask her really nicely again!” Amani: “Wait, wait, why don't we just take Crezonis with us?” Crezonis agrees to come along. They all agree to this. Khamet: “Fine, we will take Crezonis with us. You will be safe. I trust Crezonis!” Meallan: “I don't.” Amani: “I don't, but we'll keep him on a close leash.” Meallan: “If you misbehave, we'll have to bring you back to Tyzol!” Amani: “I still have mind spike!” Crez: “You don't have to threaten me, I'm not going to misbehave.” Mea: “If Arcaito comes back, we'll simply knock you out again.” Crez: “Thank you, I appreciate it.” Khamet: “The worst that will happen is we'll bring him back to Tyzol! Who will be very nice to him because I told her to be very nice!” “Khamet, you are an overly optimistic person, has anyone ever told you that?” Mea: “For once, I actually agree with you.” Amani: “Yeah...” Kh: “Yes, many people have told me that I am optimistic. But you have to be optimistic. Otherwise, you would just be upset all the time.” Mea: “Optimistic isn't the word I would use.” Amani: “...There's other ways. There's other ways to find peace.”
They go into the woods, and Crezonis is... still poorly tied. They all make survival checks. Aytal is sent ahead to help, and is relying on their vision and hearing (which overtakes their own), so they rely on someone else to assist Meallan during this. They follow some footprints, a broken twig, a scrap of fabric; stuff like that indicating quick fleeing. At some point, 3 giant (horse-sized) greenish lizards shuffle out of the trees. Meallan speaks and tries to assure them that they mean no harm. The lizards look, then keep ambling on by. Anthony: “Have you lizards seen this guy we're looking for?” The lizards do not respond, shockingly. Amani suggests Meallan ask, and he does. The lizards look back, move side to side, then just walk off. They wonder if that's a no and they should backtrack. Tal thinks that this doesn't confirm or deny anything. Amani agrees and suggest they keep following the trail. They all do.
Eventually, the traces stop. Tal and Amani look up. There are two elves hiding up in the trees (though only Tally sees the second). One of them hisses at them. ((OOC: “Is this normal elf behavior?” It's not.)) Amani speaks to them in Elvish. “We don't mean any harm; we're looking for someone.” One of the elves comes down to a lower branch in the tree. “Who are you looking for?” They mention they're looking for an elf named Illuthryn, who goes by a particular description... who looks like the elf Amani's talking to now! “Are you Illuthryn?” “Did Venali send you?” “Yes.” “Are you going to hurt her?” “What? No. We're friends. Uh, acquaintances. Uh, she sent us here to find you.”
Meallan sends Aytal up to the elf. Illuthryn asks “What are you doing with that, firbolg?”. “I'm only sending him up to check on you. He's friendly.” “I'm fine.” “If you were fine, you wouldn't be in a tree. Most elves don't live in trees.” He's speechless for a moment. “I-I can be in a tree if I want to.” ((Note: Elves tend to make trees into houses, but they don't live up in trees.)) Amani notes this to the others. Meallan: “Yes, but most elves don't clamber up trees.” Amani: “Unless you were running from something.”
Tally: “Are you alright up there? Do you need medical assistance, among the two of you?” Illu: “Not so much medical assistance, no... We're fine, thank you, in our tree!” “Um, are you intending to get down from your tree and return to Venali at any point?” “Are you intending to stop asking so many questions and leave us alone at some point?” “No!” (Meallan sees through Aytal that Illuthryn's not injured. But he is tense. Just like everyone else.)
An: “Hey, everyone's worried about you back in Deyn, they sent us to come get you! So come back with us, lickity split!” (Persuasion with Tally's help.) Illu: “...Is there anything left of Deyn?” Amani: “There's your sister, and Tyzol, and others. There's not much there, but there's... family.”
Illuthryn comes out of the tree. “Okay. But... there's someone I want to bring back with me, and you have to promise you won't hurt her. Her name is Solaria, and she is my friend. And she made some very bad life choices due to some very bad circumstances. But I'm looking after her now, and you're not going to hurt her.” Anthony: “I make bad life decisions all the time. Like earlier today, I just drank some wasp poison!” Illuthryn laughs at that. Am: “Well, if she does no harm, I don't see any reason to get onto her.” Mea: “It cannot be worse than the life decisions he's made.” Tal: “We just have a lot of experience protecting people who made questionable life decisions from the wrath of impulsive other people, so yeah, I think we should be able to keep your friend safe.”
Solaria comes down... And she's wearing the same mismatched armor that most bandits have. Crezonis goes “uhhh” Meallan: “Do you know her?” “Uh, somewhat? We weren't close. ...Uhhh... No, I don't know her! I thought she was someone else! I mean, wood elves, their facial features are all kind of the same.” Somehow, his bad lie works on the others...? Amani: “It's not that hard...” “You can't talk, you are like an elf.” “Sure, but I didn't grow up in Eaine! Entirely.” Mea: “Elves do look a little bit similar. It does take me a little bit of effort to distinguish between them.” Crez: “They're like, the same color all the way down. I'm at least two colors!” Tal: “Three- no, four if you count your eyes!” Crez: “Oh, thank you for noticing!” Am: “It's more than just color!” Crez: “So no, I don't know her!”
Solaria is all “mmmMMmm, don't know him!...”, tight smile. Amani's the only one really looking at her, and can tell she's obviously lying and acting really suspicious. Amani puts it together and organizes a group huddle.
Am: “It looks like she's one of the bandits. But if she doesn't hurt us, I don't see any reason to hurt her.” Mea: “We've killed their leader, we have their other leader. Why should we care about scattered bandits? We let that other one go.” Anthony: “We can take her back to town anyway, doesn't really matter what we do!” Am: “That's true, we can let them deal with her; I don't care.” Tal: “We can just start a collection of former bandits who just tag along with us everywhere.” Am: “I don't think this changes anything. I think we just take her back.” The others agree, and let the town decide what to do. So they take them both back.
They start heading back to Deyn. And on the way back, a raven-person comes out of the trees and stares at the group. Which, really, is a very weird-looking group, if you think about it. “...Hi!” Kenku: “...Hello!” Mea: “What's your name?” “...What's your name!” “I'm Meallan. And you are?” “Hatchet Split!” Mea: “What a funny name. What are you doing out here?” HS: “What are you doing out here?” Am: “We're helping a local village!” HS: “...Cool!” Am: “Cool. What are you doing out here?” “Hatchet Split. Woodcutter.” He holds up a hatchet. Am: “...Okay!” Mea: “Do you live in Deyn?” HS: Headtilt. “No!” Mea: “Do you live nearby?” “Yes! Not telling, not showing strangers.” “That's fine. You may go on your way.”
Amani wonders something and whispers to Meallan if there's any village near Deyn. But they can't think of any. (Anthony: “You can be quite far away as the crow flies!”) Crezonis doesn't even know what Hatchet Split is. Amani: “Looks like a kenku!” Crez: “I don't even know what a kenku is...” Am: “There's a kenku!”
Aytal runs from Meallan's shoulder and runs to Hatchet Split. Hatchet kneels down and pets. “Soft!” Tally has no idea what that is and doesn't like the bird-like look and so stays behind others in the group. But she emerges a bit when others have peaceful interactions. Tal: “I have a completely random question for you, Hatchet Split. Do you know a way to preserve leaves?” HS: “No! Maybe elves! Magic! Good at magic!” Amani sighs. Tally goes “okay.” Then Amani tries to wave off Meallan's questions of “leaves? what?” Am: “It's not important, don't worry about it.”
HS: “Can I help you?” Am: “I mean... I don't think so? I think we have this.” HS: “Okay? Goodbye? Nice to meet strangers.” Tal: “Can we help you?” HS: “No! You seem, busy!” Looks at Crezonis. “Rope! Feet!” Party: “Don't worry about that.”
They part ways. “Bye!” Am: “Just watch out for bandits!” HS: “Will be careful!”
They walk off peacefully and with no IC suspicions!
On the way back, they take a short rest, and Meallan takes this time to put on his elf disguise once more.
They return to Deyn. It's been a couple of hours. Tyzol is with the elves. Venali sees her brother, and there's instant relief. She runs forward and embraces him. Solaria is just kind of... awkwardly... there. They thank the party. As promised, Venali gives Tally a small bag, the Handy Spice Pouch. It's a magic spice pouch with 10 charges. When holding the pouch, can use an action to expend one charge. Speak the name of any nonmagical food seasoning, and you can remove a pinch of desired seasoning for the pouch; will season one meal. Every dawn, the pouch regains 1d6+4 charges. (We joke about the character Jordan Flamsey existing to comment on this.)
Solaria gets a few weird looks as she walks around the town. They don't really know who she is. Illuthryn lends her clothes that isn't scrappy bandit armor.
Anthony goes to Tyzol! With witnesses. Y'know, in case he embarrasses himself. No one volunteers to wingman. But Meallan follows out of curiosity. Amani is there too. “Tyzol!!” Anthony holds his phone above his head. “You poisoned me!” “I know, and I'm sorry! But, we found your friends! And, uh... uh...” “Good, so you're not a complete waste of space!” “I wrote this song for you!” (And he plays a song! Meallan is so. Confused.) “That was... so beautiful, Anthony.” “Again, I'm so sorry I poisoned you.” “I had no idea you felt that way.” “Yeah. So, um, can I buy you a drink? That's not wasp poison?” “How about? We go back to my place, and I pour some drinks?” “That would be lovely.” And Anthony and Tyzol head off. Meallan is confused. Amani has no context to this entire situation, nor do they seek it.
Tally approaches Solaria and asks for a word in private. Tal: “Just wanted to check, um, did you actually really want to stay with him and follow him back here?” Sol: “...I mean, it's very kind of you to check. I mean, yes, he's my friend. Thank you, for... helping us?” Tal: “I don't know, he said he was looking after you, but I didn't see any of it, so I wanted to check if you were okay with him.” Sol: She waves an arm out. “I mean, yeah, he helped me, like that. And I don't really know what I'm going to do now. But I'm not dead and that's a good start.” Tal: “That's always a good start. Just remember, even if you feel you owe him for something, you never have to stay with somebody. As long as you're okay with him.” Sol: “It's not like that.” (Tal: “Okay.”) “But thank you.” Tal sees that she's tired, but sincere. Tal: “Well, I wish the two of you the best of luck, then.” Sol: “Thank you.”
By this point, Crezonis is literally holding the rope with one hand to pretend it's tied. The party finally re-ties the rope. Properly. Meallan moves to re-tie the rope. Crezonis asks for Tally to do it. Tally helps. Crez: “Yes, this is much better. I can't move my legs properly, so.” Mea: “I'm surprised you're so happy about being tied up.” Crez: “I'm not happy! You just gotta take what comes your way, y'know?” Crez: “Well, I'm glad you're submitting to your feet.”
Amani approaches Illuthryn. Am: “So, I know what she is. Are you... sure, things are okay, with her sticking around?” Illuthryn bristles. “What do you mean 'what she is'?”. Am: “Well, a bandit, obviously. But she's also not taking it further. Trying to change her ways.” Illu: “Have you actually talked to her? At all?” Am: “I'm not accusing! I'm just wondering if... Well... How did you meet her? Just curious.” Illu: “Well, we've been friends for a long time, we've been friends as children. I haven't seen her for a while. I don't remember how we met.” Am: “...You've been friends for a long time. And at some point she turned to banditry?” Illu: “Um. There are many reasons people might turn to banditry.” Am: “I can think of a few.” Illu: Sigh. “I think you should talk to her about this. It's not my place to explain.” Am: “I mean, I'm not trying to get on her case if she's not going to do anything.” Illu: “She's not going to do anything. She's fine. She ran away because she saw what they were doing and she didn't want to be a part of it.” Am: “...Alright. ...Alright. I-” Illu: “If you want to know any more, you're going to have to talk to her because it's not my place to tell you.” Am: “Okay. ...I just wasn't sure about approaching her myself.”
Amani walks over to Solaria, who just finished talking to Tally. Am: “...What are you going to do now?” Solaria: “I don't know, genuinely.” Am: “...I hear you've been friends with Illuthryn for a while. ...What made you change your mind?” Sol: “About what?” Am: “About banditry.” Sol: *Long siiiigh.* “I saw what they were doing, and I didn't particularly like it. I mean...” Am: “I wouldn't either.” Sol: “Yeah, I mean, yeah, you wouldn't want to watch a village get burned down! And you got him with you! I don't know... where that other thing went. Halfling.” Am: “The halfling?” Sol: “Yeah, the other ringleader, I don't...” Am: “Ringleader? Wait, are you saying there's another ringleader?” Sol: “Yeah! The halfling with the staff and the freaky tree powers, the...” Am: “The druid?” Sol: “Yeah, the druid.” Am: “Oh! We have her in custody. ...Or I mean, I think we do.” Sol: “That’s not very reassuring!” (Amani agrees.) “Um, I just didn't want to be a part of it. Is that enough of an answer for you?” Am: “It is. Um... I wasn't trying to pry, I was... I was just wondering. I... Well... I'm happy. Um, I'm... I'm glad you're doing this. And I hope you manage to find another way. Maybe you can stick with Illuthryn for a while while you figure that out.”
Sol: “I think I will. But I don't know what's happening here. And I don't know what I'm going to do next? But I'm hoping something will come up.” Am: Heartful sigh. “I... I don't have any easy answers to that. But... maybe you can find peace.” Sol: “How did you decide what to do?” Long pause. Amani takes a breath. Sol: “Was it like, have you always wanted to be an adventurer? Did you do special training?” Amani exhales. “......I... I've always wanted to... I... I've always wanted to be good at spellcasting. And so... I... So now I am.” Sol: “Ohh... I- I guess that's probably easier when you're good at magic.” Amani: “It- it is. Yes. It... it changes everything.”
Last Edit: Mar 15, 2019 21:14:28 GMT -5 by Gelquie: Fini!
Pumpkin Ghostie (by Killix) Nocturne the elvish dragon (by Huntress) Lazuryl (Laz) the Gargoyle (by Killix)
Ahh! Thanks so much for doing this, Gelquie! =D I laughed so hard at Khamet and Amani's antics, and 'Dragonsong' is even better than I remembered!
Anthony: “No one's been poisoned, no one's been poisoned!” Goes out. “There's plenty more poison where that came from!” Tyzol: “Anthony!” Anthony: “Yeah, okay. MEALLAN! MEALLAN!” Ty: “WHERE WAS HE GOING AGAIN, I FORGET” An: “HE WAS GOING TO THE APOTHECARY, WHERE'S THE APOTHECARY” Ty: “I DON'T KNOW I CAN'T EVEN SEE PROPERLY” An: “OH! MY EYES ARE BURNING SO MUCH” Ty: “MY FACE IS ON FIRE” An: “MEALLAN!” Ty: “IT'S LIKE WHEN YOU CAN'T FEEL YOUR TOES WHEN YOU'RE WEARING TIGHT BOOTS” An: “UGH I FEEL COLD AND HOT AT THE SAME TIME” Ty: “MEALLAN!”
*The party unanimously decide to not check in with Anthony just yet for...various reasons.
*Party draws local elves out with cute fuzzy animal sidekick, proceeds to scare them away again with their collective non-cuteness.
*Tally uses her staff to prop up a mostly-unconscious Meallan.
*Khamet is totally not homesick.
*Dragonsong is official! Anthony returns in possession of one of Tyzol's scales. <3
*Basil tries to be a spider cowboy, but alas, after a mere twelve seconds his spider-mount vanishes. =(
*Anthony gets poisoned again, and almost killed, by the second spider.
*During watch that night... =>Meallan Identifies some spooky objects. =>Khamet and Crezonis play Go Fish! They both cheat. And wake up Amani with their talking. =>Amani speaks with a jaguar-creature, and then disappears off into the woods. =>When Crezonis tells her that the others weren't really taking their watches seriously, Tally resolves to do ALLLL OF THE WATCH!!! and some monk exercises.
*The party sets off, ready for a new session...and a new friend!
Two days until our next session! =D 21/03/19, 7:00pm GMT. Since there hasn't been time to transcribe the full recap, a short reminder: the session picks up as the party leave the previous night's campsite and walk the last few hours to the elven city of Ur Zaihar! What meets them at their destination? What still lies along the way? We'll soon find out!
-Anthony and Tyzol go off together. The less said, the better. -Basil returns without Juniper. Meallan and Amani: “What the heck?” Basil lies, Amani sees through it, points out that she's a bandit who's killed people, what the heck? Basil says if she becomes bandit leaders, we can do what we want with her. Basil has Juniper's staff. -Meallan lures Solaria over with cute Aytal. <3 And talks to her about basically what she already knows, trying to give advice, and Solaria just kind of walks off offended. He tried! -Meallan and Anthony search the village for the comb Tyzol lost. (Basil says he doesn't know where it is!) They don't find the comb, but they find a pearl that Meallan was looking for. Anthony finds A comb and gifts it to Tyzol. -Basil tells Crezonis that Juniper is safe. Amani is nearby because they Do. Not. Trust. Some of the party members. -Khamet talks to Crezonis, and in the process offends Amani by referring to them as “the other one.” So Amani starts pouting and looking dejected.
-They set out to the river to get to Zaihar, the latter just a little over a day away. -They get to the river, and two spiders pop in! Roll initiative! -Basil rides a spider! Yee-haw! -Tally doesn't want to harm the spiders. Meallan tries to persuade the spiders to let them pass, and that they mean them no harm. ...And then turns invisible juuust in case. -Amani doesn't want to mess with the plan, so they prepare to cast a spell if a spider does attack. ...Which they do! Khamet tries to help by poking the spider to distract it, giving Amani advantage. Amani kinda complains how they don't need help, daaad. -The spider attacks Anthony (triggering Amani's successful attack)... And Anthony is poisoned! Again! Twice in one day! Thrice in the campaign! -They continue to fight, and this is vague and I may edit later. But attacks are made, Amani tries to show up Khamet by casting Chaos Bolt on the spider, which injures it enough that it nopes out. And so does Basil's spider, which causes Basil to fall. They try to cure Anthony of his poison agaaaain, but he's fine now. -Amani is congratulated. (Though Khamet's compliments start to become backhanded, but with a note that no one's perfect and that's okay. Amani: “I can still try. =| “)
-They make camp and make mushroom and sorrel dinner. Meallan makes dinner and talks about how his dad taught him to make stuff with them. -They take watches! Watch order: Meallan, Khamet, Amani, Tally. -Meallan spends his watch identifying the staves. -Khamet spends his watch playing Go Fish with Crezonis... Both of them cheat. Their playing wakes up Amani, who's all “um, watches? =| “ -Amani sees a spoopy cat... And invites them to come hang out with them! Pets ensue. Amani proceeds to leave the area to let the spoopy cat Surati watch for a while, but returns. -Tally takes her watch, Crezonis, awake at points, points out that the others diiiidn't really take their watches seriously? So Tally SUPER does! She sees a glimpse of Surati before they disappear. Tally is all 0_0;. But they notice the cat eyes, so they're not as freaked out as they could have been.
*Meallan wants to destroy Crezonis' pike. Khamet says NO. *Tally and Amani are awkward. *Tally and Khamet are awkward (Tally spills some tasty drow lore! =O And Khamet hints at some juicy backstory too...) *The party meet a wild, I dunno, Rowlet?? Tiny owl dude. Anyway, his name is Athenos. Athenos is very smart and Athenos has been given a special quest. *"I am looking for a mortal possessed by a fey" x 100 *"Yeah that's my...evil twin brother who coincidentally moved far away to Varentar." *"I take it back- this thing isn't cute, it's annoying." *"The fey told me that this other fey is evil, and fey can't lie, therefore the other fey must be evil!" x 50 *Crezonis makeover woo! He now looks, as Liou put it, slightly less like he's been dragged through hell for the past week. *After the party explain away the centaur and the weird wingless owl, the guards let them into Ur Zaihar. *The party arrange for a meeting with a lord of lords of Ur at 7pm sharp, but until then.... It's party splittin' time!!!
Team 1: "Mob? Mafia? Mob!" (Khamet and Anthony) A paladin and a bard walk into an inn. The bard performs, the paladin notices a horned pink lady and a green elf watching from a corner. He determines they are fans of Anthony, and also asks the elf why he is green- what a question! Turns out he's an eladrin, not your bog-standard wood elf. Afterwards, the bard goes to speak to his 'fans' alone. The paladin listens in. *They are from the Extratemporal Bureau! They want to apprehend the wizard who blatantly violates time-travel regulations and bring them to justice! *Anthony just...wants to be left alone! *The Time Cops are disappointed and young Tenacity (the pink lady) is consoled by her companion, Tevineri, for not completing her assessment. =( *Unfortunately, Khamet only picks up a few phrases, like "are you guys cops???" and "Extratemporal Bureau!" *However, after this adventure, he finally finds something he can use to preserve Tally's beautiful umbrella. How fortuitous!
Team 2: Diving into Dyventain (Meallan, Amani and Athenos) The trio want access to Dyventain's library. It's awkward for a moment as they are held up at the entrance by some bored guards. Their leader says the party can go inside as long as they take one of the guards with them...the elf who fell off the wall back in session zero. The idea of this awkward reunion amuses the leader, so they insist on it. *Books! Fey-names! Yay! *Fanboy! Talvi keeps Amani from doing much at all of use, but he's so excited to talk about magic and how he wants to learn their cool magic as opposed to Dyventain's boring magic. *Yikes! Meallan's elf-disguise wears off and a student spots him in his firbolg-form. She identifies herself as Rinn. Meallan lies and says his name is Keskil, and when he seems reluctant to talk, Rinn eventually gives up and goes back to her reading. *Meallan doesn't manage to learn more magical secrets, alas. *Amani busily researches the names of the fey Athenos uncovered in the book Meallan procured for him! Team 3: Thieves' Cant (Basil and...Basil.) Basil heads to the dodgy end of town and finds someone who will buy his centaur spears and platinum ring. He's easily pleased, he just wants the shinies. He gets 28 gold and 3 silver for the lot- wow, a small fortune!!!
Team 4: Sad People Just Want This Meeting Dangit (Tally and Crezonis) Tally naps, and in the absence of Meallan Crezonis shelters her from the sun. Crezonis is all "hmmm my mind feels weird, like it did when Arcaito was there before, I think he's watching?" Tally is all "ummm okay we shall tie you up again." Liou rolls vurry well! Yay! None of this nonsense like with Khamet and Amani a few sessions back, sheesh...
Names Learned: Arentium- a high elven country, some way west of Varentar. Athenos- owl...thing. Talks in the third person and is on a quest to find somebody possessed by an evil fey 'spirit'. Rinn- elven student at Dyventain. Takes an interest in Meallan when she accidentally spots him in his real firbolg form. Tenacity- pink tiefling with small straight horns, purple three piece-suit. From the Extratemporal Bureau. Tevineri- green eladrin with a flax tailcoat. I realised just now that what I call flax is a very specific thing- this, also called 'harakeke'. Tevineri is another member of the Extratemporal Bureau. Talvimiare "Talvi"- elven student at Dyventain. Thinks arcane magic is the best, very much in awe of Amani. Keskil- fake name Meallan gives Rinn when asked for his own name.
Last time: Amani finished speaking with Solaria. Illuthryn and Venali are outside the shop. Anthony and Tyzol have made up and are heading further into Deyn. (Finger guns and clicking sounds from Anthony.) Meallan and Tally finish re-tying Crezonis. Khamet's nearby, scribbling in his journal. It's about 11am. Most are on the outskirts of Deyn.
Anthony and Tyzol... just need a few minutes! Careless Whisper is playing from Tyzol's house.
Basil is back, Juniper is missing? (But Basil has her staff.) Meallan to Basil: “And where were you exactly?” B: “...Uhh, I mostly just had a nap.” M: “...A nap. Really?” B: “People nap.” Meallan's suspicious. Am: “Wasn't Juniper with you?” M: “Was she?” B: “No, I thought she was with you!” M: “Then where is she?” B: “With you, I thought!” M: “No, we were with Crezonis...” Meallan believes Basil's lies. Amani does not. Cue glaring. “Where. Is. Juniper?” B: “...I don't know, where is Juniper?” Am: “I don't know, she was with you.” M: “Was she really?” Am: “...Yes.” Basil shrugs. Meallan: “Did you let her go? Meallan tries glaring too, but he has an adorable little sable staring too, <3 Basil asks about the sable to which Meallan answers, and Basil thinks he is adorable. <33 Amani's glare is more intimidating... but Basil is completely unfettered. (Nat 20)
Tally: “Basil, the question I would like to ask simply is: Is Juniper alive?” B: “...Yes.” T: “Okay!” Amani: “...You know Juniper destroyed this town, do you?” B: “...Yes, I suppose she did...” Am: “And you know that people died here, right?” B: “...Yes. ...I'm sure they did.” Am: “You know Juniper's not innocent, right?” B: “...Are you?” Am: “I didn't destroy a town!” M: “Juniper, does it really matter what happens to her? It would be nice to get money. But we have Crezonis; he was the important one.” Am: “It's not about that. You know she's just going to do this again, right?” M: “Not without a leader!” Am: “You know, she could become leader herself. That's not a good thing by the way, Basil.” B: “...If that happens, do whatever you want. I won't interfere.” M: “I'm glad you understand. If that happens, we'll deal with her. But she's not important in the grand scheme of things.” Amani does not stop glaring.
Meallan uses Aytal to look for Solaria and see if the three are doing anything. Meallan is blind and deaf, and leans against Amani. Amani's uncomfortable, but does nothing. Aytal tracks down Solaria, and in turn Illuthryn and Venali. Solaria has her arms folded and is leaning against the edge of a table. (One of her arms is bound now due to injury. They treat her as best as they could, but not as well as hoped due to not much being available.)
Tally's looking around, and asks Amani what's up with Meallan. He looks stiff, about to collapse, is he okay?? Am: “Don't worry about it, it's a spell he's doing.” T: “He's just doing it on purpose?” Am: “Yes.” T: “Okay. Thanks Amani!” Am: “Just give him a few minutes.” T: “Sorry, just looked a bit alarming.” Am: “Well, I can't say it's comfortable. He's a lot taller than me... Do you think you can help me prop him up?” Tally props him up with her quarterstaff. Am: “Thanks.”
Aytal cuddles against Solaria's leg to get her attention. She's startled. “Hello, little creature?” She pets the creature. Aytal enjoys the pets, then skitters off, then looks back and gestures: “follow me.” She does. Seeing that Solaria is following, Meallan snaps out of it and waits for Aytal to return. Meallan's not sure why he's leaning against a quarterstaff? “Wh-why did you do that? I'm fine.” Amani: “Because it's uncomfortable for a very tall disguised firbolg to lean against me suddenly??” “Oh, I'm sorry.” Meallan promises to warn Amani in the future. He talks about how he can see through Aytal's eyes, but cannot see or hear when he does this, so prefers someone to help ground him. Amani thinks this is smart, but just says to warn in the future, if possible.
Aytal scuttles back up to Meallan's shoulders. Solaria catches up and confirms that the “weasel” is Meallan's. Meallan: “I wanted to speak with you about something.” S: “Okay?” M: “You were, with the bandits that attacked Deyn. I was wondering what you're going to do after this?” S: “I already told your friend about it.” Amani waves. Mea: “You have no plans to return to the life? You're going to just settle down here and... live as a regular person?” She waves the other two back. “I don't know what I'm going to do.” M: “Why not?” S: “...Because I don't? Have any useful questions to ask?” Mea: “Well... Then I suggest that... you don't stay here very long. ...And I do not mean that as a threat, this is genuine advice. I too was in a position once where I had... no real role to play. No useful skills. And I only became happy once I left. Find something to do with yourself. Where there's no banditry. I suggest it for your own sake.” Illuthryn: “You can stop projecting onto her.” Mea: “I'm not projecting anything. I am simply giving advice as someone's who's been here before.” Am: “I think it would be better if she had a... goal... of sorts... and not a lot of wandering around.” S: “Exactly. So what was your advice? Just 'go away?'.” Mea: “No, just find something to pursue.” Am: “I'm not saying this advice is bad, it's just...” Mea: “Preferably something that is not banditry. Because banditry does not pay well.” ...Solaria and Illuthryn just leave. Mea: “...Fine. I've gotten what I want.” Tally waves. “Hey! By his standards, it's a very nice thing to say!” Solaria: “...I'm sure it is.”
After the conversation ends, Amani wanders off into the town for a while.
Meallan peers over Khamet's shoulder to see what he's writing. “What are you doing?” Kh: “...I'm writing in my journal.” M: “Oh? What are your writing about?” Meallan sneaks a look at his journal without asking. Khamet is writing about his homeland, for general education purposes and totally not out of homesickness! He describes a few people he knows in his life, including a few names. Meallan doesn't care about Khamet's friends, but he's intrigued about his homeland. Mea: “...I didn't take you much for a writing type.” Kh: “Um, what is a writing type, Meallan?” Mea: “Um, someone... not quite like you.” Kh: “...Indeed. And I didn't really take you for a speaking or thinking type, so, y'know, all expectations can be broken!” M: “I am very much a thinking type, thank you very much.” Kh: “Yes, I can see that. Don't you have something else you can be doing right now Meallan? Like, I dunno, stepping on weasels or whatever you do in your free time?” Meallan is horrified. “I would never... How dare you?!” Kh: “Well, I don't know what you do in your free time. You're not very forthcoming about your hobbies. So I'll assume what I may.” M: “I would never. Harm. An animal.” Kh: “Yes, I'm sure you would never harm an animal. Are you a vegetarian or something?” M: “No, I eat meat...” Kh: “So you do harm animals?” (M: “...Yes? But I-”) “Well, I guess you're not very internally consistent, are you?” M: “Eating animals is different to harming them; it's not pointless cruelty.” Kh: “I don't know about that, you could always eat plants.” M: “Where I come from, there were not many plants that could be eaten, especially during the winter.” Kh: “Hm, okay, you harm animals, but not unnecessarily. Is that true?” M: “That is exactly what I mean.” Kh: “Okay, so maybe you should have said that in the first place instead of being needlessly confusing.” M: “I would've thought you'd understood what I meant. Anyway, I shall leave you to it. I do have other things to do. Enjoy your writing.” Kh: “Thank you.” M: “I wouldn't mind reading it sometime, if you would?” Kh: “Ah yes, an audience. I will keep you in mind in case I ever need beta readers.” M: “Thank you.” Meallan swishes and turns away.
Tally goes to Crezonis. Tally: “You still alright there, Crezonis? Or at least not any worse than before?” Crez: “Not any worse than before. ...Thank you for checking, Tally.” T: “...I think it's high time we brought you back to Zaihar and actually got away from here. But I don't know how soon I can rally all the others.” Crez: “I was actually going to ask about that. It does seem like they are attracted to here...” T: “I didn't know people could spend so much time chatting in a burned town, but...” Crez:“Hunting for leaves, and I don't even know what the human with the dragonborn was up to!” T: “I suggest waiting a little longer in case the others turn up. But we might have to skedaddle if they don't.” Crezonis agrees.
After some time, Anthony returns! He looks a bit worse for wear. “Hey guys, what's up?!” Mea: “Have you been attacked by a bear?!” Tally: “Don't be rude, Meallan!” Mea: “I wasn't being rude, it was genuinely asking!” Anthony: “I am alright! I will not be fielding any questions about any of this!” He gestures around himself. Tally expresses her praise for Anthony. Meallan doesn't know why she's praising him?? Crez: “I told you fighting the dragonborn would not be a very good idea, not romantic.” Meallan is even more confused??
Amani returns. “...Anthony, what happened?!” Anthony: “Well, you know what they say; a gentleman never tells!” “...What?” “Precisely!”
Anthony: “I see Basil's back! What's up little man?” B: “Hi. You look like you had fun.” An: “Thanks! Where's Juniper at?” B: “Uh...” An: “Oh, I wanted to ask, have you seen a comb around here?” B: “Hmm... uh... no.” An: “That's a bummer. Have any of you guys seen a comb?” Everyone: “No?” An: “Rats.” Amani: “Do you need... a comb?” Anthony: “No, just Tyzol's favorite comb is missing. I was going to go look.” Mea: “I can look around? I was planning to look around the town anyway.” An: “Let me know if you find it. I might help you look.” Meallan agrees. “I am looking for a few things for my spells.”
Before people go off, Tally addresses the group. T: “Alright everyone, it's high time we took this centaur back to where we said we'd take him and get this Arcaito dealt with, because we've been lagging around these burned buildings for a pretty long time now. So are any of you actually coming along?” Everyone minus Anthony: ”Yes.” Anthony: “I mean, this town has so much to offer!” Amani: “We have to handle this one way or another. The sooner the better.” An: “We-we'll come back here, right??” Am: “That's up to you.” Tally asks how long before everyone is ready. Meallan and Anthony ask for a few more hours to look for things and wrap up. The rest are fine. Amani: “So the sooner we find the comb, the sooner we can leave?” Tally: “Alright, we'll wait for you. Are you alright, Crezonis?” Crez: “I suppose a few more hours won't hurt.”
Meallan and Anthony work together to look for a pearl and the comb. Meallan finds a necklace with one pearl. He takes the pearl off and pockets it. Anthony: “Uh, I have to ask you a favor, actually.” Mea: “What do you want?” An: “We're obviously going to be leaving this town, and I don't know when we're gonna be back. I still got no phone signal! So I don't know how I'm gonna keep in touch with Tyzol. But I know you can speak to animals, maybe you can, uh, help me get some messages delivered while we're away?” M: “I can do that, yes.” An: “That'd be nice.” M: “That'd be assuming the animals want to deliver the messages.” An: “I mean, we can give them food. I mean, everyone likes food!” M: “I suppose. That is true. Worst comes to worst, I can ask Aytal to do it.” An: “Nice! That'd be sweet. And I'll owe you one for it.” M: “I always appreciate favors.” An: “Sweet, awesome!” M: “You and that dragonborn... what did happen?” An: “I... uhh... yeah, you probably don't wanna know! ...It was fun, though.!” M: “Well, you clearly didn't fight, so I presume you still want to send her messages... I don't understand.” An: “Yeah, well...”
Tally and Amani stay near Crezonis. Tally steps away if people are talking. Amani does not. Basil whispers to Crezonis (but Amani can hear him). B: “Juniper's safe. And she asked me to keep you safe. And that's the plan. I just thought you should know.” Crez: “That's unusually sweet of her.” B: “Is it?” Crezonis just gives Basil a look. Tally: “She seemed sweet!” Crez: “She was not. ...Having said that, I do appreciate you having told me this.” Basil: “Sure.”
Khamet speaks to Crezonis. Kh: “Ah yes, Crezonis! I was wondering, what kind of food do you most recommend? As in the entire island, what food is your favorite?” (We briefly discuss centaur diets and whether or not they've herbivoric or omnivoric? We decide omnivoric.) Crezonis: “Apples.” Kh: “Thank you, Crezonis! Also, how are you doing?” Crez: “How do you think I'm doing, Khamet?” Kh: “Well I don't know, I feel like you're surrounded. Basil, Tally, and uh, oh, the other one...” Amani: “I'm right here!” Kh: “Yeah, yeah, you are the other one.” Amani scoff-sighs. Kh:“Uh, so, y'know, these are all, mostly nice people, so I think you should be feeling okay.” Crez: “Well, to be honest, Khamet, I just want to leave. I've been here quite a long time and don't seem to be following...” Kh: “Yes, I am also quite tired of sitting around in backwater like this. So we should probably leave as soon as Anthony and Meallan stop going doing things that are dung.” Amani has been staring into the distance, pouting, and being angsty since Khamet's dismissal; generally dejected. Khamet doesn't notice; he's too busy writing his adventures.
Anthony and Meallan find a comb! The bandits, after all, were not focused on good grooming. An: “I found a comb! I don't think it's the same one, but I can gift it to her anyway, I guess?” M: “You do that, I suppose.” Having found what they were looking for, and not wanting to be left behind, they return to the others an hour after they first left.
Anthony tells the others he'll catch up with them. He goes to Tyzol's house and knocks politely on the door. Tyzol opens the door and the two greet each other. An: “So, the party and I have to leave town now.” Tyzol: “It figures.” An: “Augh, well, I um, I didn't really want to leave. But... we gotta get Crezonis back so he can answer for what he's done, particularly what he's done around here. But... gosh. I don't exactly do this for everyone, but look...” He gives her the comb. “I know it's not your comb, but I found you this comb. And Meallan, our cleric ((sic)), is gonna use some animals to keep in touch with you.” She runs a claw over the comb. “...It was nice getting to know you, Anthony.” An: “Yeah, same. I was hoping I'd come back someday, if that's something you'd like?” Tyzol nods. “...So, um... do I hug you, or, um?” Anthony gives her a peck on the cheek, and then a hug.
Meallan's spell wears off, so he hides in some ruins on the outskirts before the party leaves. Others in town are also trying to avoid the party and are keeping an eye out, but they don't notice Meallan.
And the party sets out! Tally's in the back, Khamet's in the front. Amani and Meallan flank Crezonis on both sides, who's in the middle.
Aytal scurries down from Meallan's shoulders and goes next to Khamet. Khamet just... looks. Then uses Divine Sense. He notices that Aytal is a minor fey (understands, but doesn't speak). Kh: “So... You understand languages?” Aytal nods. Kh: “So... can you very quickly tell me how you came to be? Or at least tell Meallan to tell me how you came to be?” Aytal is confused?? He looks back towards Meallan and gives a little squeak to call him over. Kh: “Well, as far as I know, Meallan was taking a bathroom break, and an hour later, you came into being, so I'm wondering if warlocks have the ability to give sentience to their own dung.” Meallan's ears Immediately flatten. Aytal: wha?? Khamet says that while Tally said he wasn't, Tally is also extremely kind and would lie for Meallan's dignity. Meallan marches over. “I was not having a bathroom break, I was summoning him through a ritual. I reached out to a fey in Varentar and I bound him to his form and my service.” Kh: “Ah, I see. So this weasel isn't... It's okay to touch, right?” Mea: “You can pet him if you wish.” Aytal runs up Khamet's shoulder and sits on his head. Kh: “Well, he's a very good... weasel that is not made out of your dung. So it at least has that going for it.” He pets Aytal. He's very soft. “This weasel's kinda cute.” Mea: “I think he wants to ride on you for a bit. He's tired. I shall leave him there.” Kh: “Okay. As long as he's not dung, I'm okay with that.” Mea: “He is. Not. Dung.” And at this, Aytal brushes his tail against Khamet's nose, causing him to sneeze. (Aytal hangs on.)
They approach the river, an hour or two from Ur Deyn. Khamet notices two large (Skyrim-sized) slightly blue-ish spiders with white bands that pop into existence. Initiative!
Crezonis... can't do much, and sits out. But he doesn't try to run. Basil animal handles one of the spiders and is now riding them like a cowboy! Basil dashes 60 ft clear of combat. Basil: “THIS IS THE COOLEST THING I'VE EVER STOLEN!” Meallan: ”I still think my pet's better.” Basil: “SUCK IT, MEALLAN!” ...Meallan very gently pets Aytal.
The front of the party is 5ft from remaining giant spider. Tally prepares to dodge. Anthony gives Bardic Inspiration to Khamet; he plays on his phone: Uptown Funk, except it's edited, so instead of “Call the Police and the Fireman!”, it's “Get me pictures of Spiderman!” (Tally: “Do you have spidermen where you're from?!” An: “Yes, and you need to get pictures of him. Very important!”) Anthony then tries to bash the spider with his tire iron. But his exoskeleton proves a challenge, and he does no damage.
Meallan: “No! Don't try and kill it! We can try to at least talk to it first!” He walks towards the spider until he's 10 ft away. He holds up his hands. “We mean no harm. We just wish to pass through. Ignore my friend here, he's just very trigger-happy. Just let us pass. We mean you no harm. We don't do anything to you, and you don't do anything to us.” It's not immediately clear if Meallan's words worked; can't really read a spider's expression. Meallan goes invisible just in case it doesn't work.
Amani readies a spell; if the spider attacks, Amani attacks. (...The spider, that is.) Khamet decides to help Amani; he distracts the spider by poking the spider repeatedly, giving Amani advantage to hit. (Amani: “I don't need help...”)
The spider attacks Anthony, triggering Amani's spell. Amani casts ray of frost at the spider, slowing and slightly damaging it. Anthony is hit... and poisoned....... again. Specifically, he takes a whole lotta poison damage. He doesn't look well. “Augh, not agaaaaain!” (Anthony?/Thundy: “How many more times afflicted by poison before I start developing an immunity to it?” Thorn: “When you multiclass into paladin.”)
The spider Basil was riding turns around and tries to run back. Basil manages to get it to run the way he wants, keeping them out of the fray.
Tally runs in front of Anthony and tries to attack. The first attack hits the exoskeleton and does no damage. The second unarmed strike hits! ((...So, Tally has disadvantage due to the sun. The higher rolls on both attacks that didn't make? Both Natural 20s.)) Tally then backs up.
Anthony... disengages, and runs away. “I've been poisoned too many times today! ...I'm still poisoned, so my organs are on fire agaaaain!”
Meallan goes not-invisible, casts hex on the spider, and casts a spell to give the spider disadvantage on constitution ability checks. ((A wild Dormouse appears! The fight briefly pauses as we all collectively 'daww' over the child.)) And then Eldritch Blast, but it didn't hit. ((And then Dormouse is distracted by dice.))
Amani looks to Khamet and goes: “Anthony needs your help more than I do. But I got this.” And then they cast chaos bolt at the spider, causing a bunch of lightning damage. The spider looks really bad off. Amani gives a pointed, very proud look to Khamet.
Khamet attacks the spider with Ossius Metallicum and then gets in its face.
The spider in front... disappears. Basil tries to keep his spider in control. Amani looks for the missing spider, but is distracted by the shiny surface of the water. ((And Dormouse is gone. =< ))
Khamet dashes to the other spider.
Anthony: “Can someone please cure my poisoning agaaaain?” Amani: “You should really carry around antidote at this point.” Anthony: “I know, but I already uuuuused it all!”
Tally and Meallan check on Anthony. After a medical analysis (in which Tally got another Nat 20; this one takes), Tally sees that Anthony is not actually currently poisoned, but is looking damaged from the previous poison.
Basil fails his attempt to control the spider. The spider turns around, sees the other spider gone, and vanishes from under Basil. He falls to the ground (gracefully), super sad.
But they've defeated giant spiders! Sort of! *Final fantasy victory music, I guess.*
Meallan takes Aytal off his shoulders. “Where does it hurt the most, Anthony?” Anthony: “Everywhere. My whole body...” Meallan puts Aytal on Anthony's head. “He will keep you warm, and that should ease the pain a little.” Anthony: “Thanks.”
The party decides to stop and take a short rest for Anthony's sake. Anthony writes to Tyzol to tell her he's been poisoned again. Meallan keeps watch in case the spiders return.
During the rest, Khamet goes to Amani. “Congratulations for dealing a grievous blow to the spider!” Meallan: “It was quite impressive, I'll say that much.” Amani: “Thank you!” Kh: “Yeah, if you hadn't done that, Anthony would've been... dead. A-and I love him. So much.” Am: “I didn't know you felt that way about him.” Kh: “Y-yeah, um...” Am: “Thanks, Khamet. I'm glad I've proved myself useful.” Kh: “Oh, no Amani, you are... usually useful.” Mea: “You are.” Am: “Usually.” Kh: “Yeah, no one's always useful, okay?” Anthony tries to interrupt saying he's already got something going on. Khamet: “Yes Anthony, I'm well aware.” Khamet continues. “...You can't try to be useful 100% of the time because you're only going to be disappointed if you try to be perfect.” Then he walks off to continue to write his magnum opus. Amani: “Um, o-kay? Um... ...why not try?” Mea: “I think you should keep trying. You're obviously very good at it.” Am: “Exactly. ...Thank you.”
Tally: (frantic) “Anthony, I'm so sorry, I should've been faster. I don't know what got over me. I should've dashed and started fighting before it, augh, I'm sorry, I'll try to be faster next time.” An: “Ah, it's okay! It's not the first time I've had poison flowing through my veins!” T: “That's not a reason! I mean, that's not a habit to take...” An: “Yeah, I know...”
After the rest, the sunny afternoon passes uneventfully. They make camp at ~7:30pm. Amani: “Anyone want mushroom dinner?” They offer their sorrel and mushrooms they found earlier today. Meallan is open to this. Am: “I have no idea how to cook them well, I can cook them! If anyone can cook mushrooms better, they can use them.” Meallan and Tally know how to cook them. Meallan examines the mushrooms. They decide to eat sorrel raw as a side dish. “If we had some oil, we could fry them?” Mea: “I can try cooking, I suppose? It's been a fairly long time since I've cooked with mushrooms. When I left, they were not in season.” Amani: “Well, I know how to cook with them, I just don't know how to make them... uh... I dunno. I always mess something up when I cook.” Mea: “I kinda wish my father were here. He always liked experimenting with strange dishes...” He looks wistful. Am: “He cooked them often?” Mea: “He chopped them up, put them a pan, to see what he could do...” He kind of trails off. They get oil from Tally's mess kit from the Explorer's Pack, they add a bit of thyme from the spice pouch to season them, and they have a decent mushroom and sorrel dinner.
Bedtime! Time for watches. Order: Meallan, Khamet, Amani, Tally
Meallan doesn't detect anything happening. So first, he goes over to Khamet to see if he's sleeping. Khamet is, once more, acting out his dreams. Meallan caaaarefully and awkwardly tries to cast identify (as a ritual) on the demon metal shaft that Khamet acquired and is holding while he's sleeping. The shaft has enchantment and abjuration magic. It's enchanted to unlock and open a specific demiplane as a key. The abjuration is protection from a specific creature (one that Meallan is not familiar with).
Then he casts identify on Crezonis' pike, which is in his possession. It's his spellcasting focus and pact weapon. It requires attunement to Arcaito, which is why he can summon it to himself. It cannot be used by Meallan due to that attunement. Meallan looks at his ring and decides he doesn't want the pike.
Meallan goes over and asks Aytal to tickle Khamet's nose with his tail to wake him up. Khamet's eyes flutter open. “Ugh, what? Oh...” M: “It's your turn to watch and my turn to sleep.” Kh: “Ugh... Yeah... Maybe you should be more careful before you let your weasel go and play.” M: “You were not waking up and I noticed how he affected you earlier. Are you allergic to fur by chance?” Kh: “I'm not allergic to fur. I just really hate things in my nose, thankyouverymuch.” M: “Not many people would. Well, it got your attention, at least. Good night. Oh, lovely pike.” Kh: “Oh, really. Did you find out what it did, finally?” Meallan confirmed, mentioned it was interested, and offered to tell his findings. Khamet agrees. M: “Well, it's not really a staff, it's more of a key that unlocks a particular demiplane. It can also help you in fighting fiends.” Kh: “Right. Well, that's very interesting. Thank you, Meallan. Now go to sleep.” M: “With your love of fighting demons and fiends, it'll come very useful to you. Good night.” Meallan takes Aytal back and goes to sleep. Khamet attunes himself to the demon staff and claims it.
Crezonis is awake, and so Khamet goes to him. “Hi Crezonis. Are you enjoying this night?” Crez: “Not particularly?” Kh: “Yeah, it's kinda boring. Do you want to play cards?” Crez: “If you're willing to teach me?” Kh: “Sure.” He pulls out a card set from his armor and teaches Crezonis how to play... Go Fish.
They get really into the game, and the commotion wakes Amani up. Amani walks over. “...Having a nice watch?” Kh: “Oh yeah, I'm having an excellent watch!” Am: “Have you seen anything?” Kh: “Nooo, why would there be anything here? If I saw anything, I would tell you.” Am: “...Of course.” Kh: “Of course!” Amani looks over their shoulders. They're both cheating. At Go Fish. Am: “...How long have you been playing this round?” Kh: “...5 minutes?” Am: “...Well, okay if you two could stop cheating and go back to sleep, that'd be excellent.” Kh: “Okay. Well, I must end the game here, with ambiguous results. Crezonis, we will have our rematch.” He dramatically raises his fist into the air and tries to fistbump Crezonis, a la 'we're friends now?'. Crezonis is confused. He pats Khamet's hand? Kh: “That's good enough. See you later, Crezonis.” Amani: “...Yeah, let's not forget who he is.” Kh: “Yeah, don't worry, I never forget... uh, what's your name again? ...Ah, Amani.” Am: “...Thanks. =| “ He goes back to sleep, cuddling the Ossius Metallicum.
Amani examines their surroundings, and sees if Crezonis is still asleep. Crezonis is not; he's looking somber after what they said. Amani is unapologetic and sighs. “You going to sleep or what? I can take this watch myself.” Crezonis closes his eyes, but very obviously pretending. Amani does not catch on.
Amani sees a big pair of yellow eyes in the trees; Surati. Amani sees if the others are asleep, then waves. Surati approaches, just at the edge of the clearing. Surati says something to Amani in Sylvan, and they smile in response. He butts his head against Amani all cat-like, and Amani pets them.
Then they whisper something to Surati, then go find a clearing to sit down. Before Amani can do anything, Surati notices... Surati: “That one is not asleep.” Am: “...Oh. ...Oh. Um. Hmm. …... ...Can you keep watch? I can step out for a second.” Surati agrees. So... Amani steps away from their watch! They come back some time later to resume. Towards the end of their watch, “Goodbye, Surati,” and Surati goes back into the trees.
Then Amani goes and nudges Tally awake. T: “Uh, okay, thanks? Night?” Am: “Yeah, goodnight.” They go to their bedroll. T: “Did you have a good watch-- n-nevermind, go to sleep.” Amani falls on their bedroll and goes to sleep without acknowledging Tally. T: “...Um, did anything hap-- uh, no, sweet dreams...”
Tally checks on Anthony to see if anyone has let him die. Anthony's just sleeping. Deeply. She checks his health; he's fine and the poison is out of his system.
Tally checks on Crezonis. He's starting to drift off now, only just started to relax, but he sits up straight when she approaches. Tally: “Is everything okay with you? Have you caught any sleep at all?” Crez: “Little. ...It's not particularly easy to sleep given the circumstances. I'm sure you understand.” Tally: “Sorry.” Crez: “Thank you. ...How about you? How did you sleep- trance?” T: “Oh, that was fine. I'm doing my best to think of a way for them to... hear you out, when we get to Zaihar. I don't even know if it would work, I just, I'm thinking... Crezonis, do you still want to do this?” Crez: “I mean, I'm... honestly not sure. I was thinking, I should be tried as myself, which sounded really good at the time, but I don't think... think he could speak in my defense far better than I ever could. ...I don't know. But...” T: “...I don't know either. ...I think our best best is to get to Zaihar and see if anyone knows better than us.” Crez: “I'm hoping, but I don't think... I don't think it will, Tally. But I appreciate the effort.” Tally: (Teary) “...I'm sorry.” Crez: “That's okay!” T: “...Um, I'd better go keep watch.” Crez: “...Um, I don't think the others did a lot of watching.” Tally: “What? I was asleep!” Trusting in the others' watch!
She sprints to the edge of the clearing to keep watch! All the while, she's wiping her eyes. Tally picks out a creature in the distance, with its bright yellow eyes. Tally: “Ah! What is that? What is that, staring at me from the night??” She's visibly afraid and wondering what do?? As she walks forward, it disappears in a puff of shadow. T: “...AAAaaaaa...” But she doesn't panic, knowing that the eyes are kitty eyes. She just watches, runs around camp, occasionally doing martial arts.
They wake up at various times. Anthony wakes from his deep sleep. Amani sleeps in. But eventually, they break camp and set out to Zaihar.
Mike continued to train in the following week. He read everything he could about dragons and replicated their behavior almost perfectly. It soon became quite apparent that he was a bit madly in love with Zotyl; in fact, he had managed to steal a chicken's nest (and subsequently being attacked by a herd of angry chickens and a rooster) and spent the next few days sitting on its eggs.
One time, Inima asked him why he was attempting to incubate the chicken's eggs, and he simply responded, "so I can be a good father!" as if it explained everything they needed to know. Oregano shook his head, but in a cool way, at this display.
When the day arrived that Mike and Zotyl needed to fight in single combat, they wanted to meet in the middle of the village square at noon. This did not happen. Mankarah needed to go fight a bandit that had taken a poor elf hostage, Oregano taught Blackthorne how to train weasels, Cassandra was much too tired and preferred not to spectate under the noon sun, Inima was intrigued by a peculiar tree stub and wanted to experiment on it, and Weylin... what Weylin was doing is nothing of importance, he was probably stomping on sables or something. Weylin liked to stomp on sables, because, in his words, they were "fake weasels."
Without an audience, Mike and Zotyl agreed to postpone their single combat to 8pm. They decided this after an hour's worth of standing in the middle of the town square. Mike, at some point, decided to put his knowledge of avian mating dances to good use and danced in front of Zotyl for thirty minutes, attracting the attention of numerous swallows and baffled townsfolk. The elves mostly stared at Mike until an aarakocra yelled at him.
"Stop it with this vulgar display!" she yelled, shielding her child from the display. "Humans! I cannot believe they have the nerve to do something like this!"
Everybody was confused, except Zotyl, who apparently understood the intent behind messages Mike was attempting to send. She held his arm to stop his dancing and took him for a quick drink at the local pub, where she would be less embarrassed by his shenanigans.
Now, you may think, "okay, I understand why the aarakocra was offended by the avian mating dance, but why was Zotyl receptive to it?" Well, it was another rare instance of Mike being correct about something. You see, Mike held this strange belief that dragons were somehow related to birds--and thus that dragonborn could appreciate the customs of birds! Well, only marginally, since Zotyl did not dance back or fully understand why she liked the artistry of Mike's mating dance so much!
They spent a few hours drinking real, non-toxic beverages of varying degrees of quality, speaking all the while! What Zotyl could have seen in Mike, not even the gods know, only that she developed a certain degree of fondness for his erratic words. By the time the clock struck 8, they grudgingly left the tavern and re-met at the city square, where Mankarah, Cassandra, Oregano, Inima, and Weylin were. They were all currently engaged in the most fruitful of arguments! Well, everybody except Weylin, who was attempting to feed Sandy.
"I can't believe you just let Blackthorne go!" yelled Inima
"It is not my fault! She was so... charismatic, and so nice! You don't understand!"
"Oregano, she helped Calgar with his evil deeds," explained Cassandra. "It was very irresponsible of you to simply release her, and I hope you think very hard about your actions in the future."
Mike played a very loud, exciting tune on his tiny lyre, ending the conversation right then and there! He and Zotyl were interlocking their pinky fingers. The entire party were very, very disbelieving at the sight of them being happy together, because Zotyl had been previously hostile to him just one day ago!
Mike declared that they were both here to fight, in one-on-one single combat! Cassandra sighed, explaining to him that he and Zytol were already on friendly enough terms, and thus there was no need for them to fight. But Mike very much insisted on it; he made a promise with Zotyl that he would fight her, and he wasn't backing away from that.
"Indeed," said Zotyl, "we are still going to fight. We were just . . . practicing beforehand!"
And so, the fight began when Cassandra clapped her hands together and declared its beginning. Mike and Zotyl stared menacingly, but also not-so-menacingly, you have to understand, it was more of a mocking display of menace, like they were just pretending to be menacing to each other. From the outside-in, of course, it was clear who was more menacing: it was Zotyl, the dragonborn warrior, who could have just made Mike into a dish of Mashed Mike-shaped Potatoes quite quickly!
Mike, predictably, lost when Zotyl threw her first punch. He dropped onto the ground, but instead of looking triumphant, Zotyl was concerned; you see, she did not mean to hit him so hard! But when he came to, she was happy to see him again, and gave him a really big smile!
And it was not yet over, either, because they also stared longingly into each others' eyes for two whole minutes! Then Mike got out her comb! He brandished the sparkling silver personal hygiene product from his pocked, and Zotyl's eyes went completely wide. It was the comb she had lost a few days earlier, the one that Blackthorne stole... and, quite thankfully, had not managed to make off with.
But as the setting sun glittered on the comb, Sandy awakened from his slumber once more. He jumped off of Weylin's shoulders and wrapped around Weylin's hand, inspecting the comb.
"Hey, hey, you dumb weasel!" yelled Mike, "don't you dare try stealing this!"
Sandy bit him, which was quite painful, because Mike yelped in pain. Zotyl, thankfully, came to his rescue: she slapped Sandy off Mike's arm, and scolded Weylin for not keeping his weasel in check. Weylin responded by saying that Sandy had never done anything like that before. He was a sophisticated weasel, as far as weasel sophistication can reach.
With an aggravated look, Zotyl marched away with Mike, leaving the rest of the party to go to the inn for tonight, which, on account of their heroism, gave them free room and board! They spent a good deal of time discussing Sandy's possible aggression.
That is, until Sandy decided to cut the conversation short!
He squeaked very loudly to get their attention and scuttled up to Inima. He circled around their feet for a good while, and then finally, jumped onto them. He stared into their eyes and made a very keen observation:
"You... have silver eyes..."
(Everybody was, of course, surprised by the fact that Sandy could speak! Except for Mankarah and Weylin. Sandy trusted Mankarah enough to tell him, because Mankarah was trustworthy and handsome! As for Weylin, well, it was only a matter of courtesy. If Sandy was going to live in his coat, he had to tell him, sooner or later. This story will be continued at a later date.)
There is a break here. Khamet writes about the forests--it's mostly purple prose, though sometimes his writing actually succeeds at being poetic. He focuses on really minute, insignificant details, like the average shape of the rocks in the forest, and what the rain tastes like. It's as if he were cataloging all this for an audience that has never seen a proper forest before. Then--aha!--another piece of writing about Mankarah:
So, you may think, "Wow! I cannot believe Mike managed to find romance in this strange land! And Cassandra as well! I see why Weylin doesn't have a partner, because he is very unlikable! Oregano is too cool for relationships. And Inima is much too immature. But what about Mankarah?"
This story will not feature Mankarah being in any type of romance, because it would hurt the readability of the story if the readers were so depressed that Mankarah could never be with them! But also, he is very used to being wanted by everybody, for he is indeed the most handsome man in the land! He has had many, many relationships that all ended up well!
Mankarah was so good, in fact, that the first person he dated was actually a succubus! But of course, Mankarah, being the natural-born paladin that he was, immediately recognized her as one and failed to be seduced by her demonic wiles. By that point in his life, he was very accustomed to the attention of all genders, and so the succubus couldn't even fool him. If Mankarah were any other paladin, she would have been slain on the spot! But he was incredibly virtuous, so much so that he could even change the minds of demonic beings!
Indeed, on their second date, Mankarah told her that he knew what she was. A succubus, a creature designed to lure people into only the most exquisite and indulgent of pleasures. But what if she were doing her job all wrong, and in fact, the most exquisite and indulgent of pleasures had nothing to do with physical intimacy? What if, instead, it were actually doing good and righteous things?
The succubus was hesitant, but then Mankarah took her to donate to a charity for young birdlings! And it worked! The succubus felt so much happiness and joy she had never experienced before, knowing that her deed had helped all these creatures! Now, thanks to Mankarah, she now tempts mortals into doing good and righteous things!
The second person he dated was an aasimar whose soul had blackened with hatred and resentment from having these high expectations foisted on him by the gods! He was very, very attractive and beautiful, with gleaming red eyes and gorgeous skeletal wings! Unfortunately, Mankarah's dearest friend, Jaoa, did not like him very much, because she was also an aasimar, and could smell the corruption of his soul!
So Mankarah helped him out! He taught him the ways that he could clean up the cobwebs in his heart and radiate light again! Sometimes, expectations can make people feel pressured, so Mankarah gently pushed him to do some community service work and teach peasant kids how to read and write, since the aasimar was a poet! And soon, the aasimar started to write happy poetry that made the entire kingdom sing his praises! Even Jaoa, who did not believe he could be saved, congratulated Mankarah for following his instincts and redeeming him!
Mankarah's next relationship involved the sweetest guy ever! But he could only ever see him once a month, because he had... a very difficult job to support his sister! He was always too proud to ask Mankarah for help, and because of that, his job took over the relationship and he had to move away! If only he could have trusted that Mankarah would be able to help him, they could have had a very happy life together; alas, it was not to be. Mankarah was left with his pet rat as a parting gift. The rat loved him very much and ate lots of cheese!
And have you ever heard of a yuan-ti loving somebody? Me neither, until, of course, Mankarah came on the scene. She was supposed to be a spy, but she ended up falling in love with him, because he was so kind and handsome and brave and cool! Her original plan involved getting into a relationship with a high-level diplomat, but instead, she was drawn to the simple paladin, Mankarah.
Now, it might cross your mind that it was very advantageous to be with Mankarah, since everybody liked and respected him, and therefore, the yuan-ti could have benefited from knowing him! But back then, Mankarah was only liked by everybody in the local town, and not everybody in the entire kingdom, so courting him was not as effective as courting the diplomat! But this relationship was certain to end in a disaster, because yuan-ti were not supposed to feel emotions! So one night, as he was sleeping, she tried to kill him, but couldn't bring herself to do it. Instead, she left him a perfumed note telling him that she couldn't be with him anymore, but the kindness he showed her meant that she could start a new life in earnest!
He never saw her again, but she soon found a new identity and found somebody else to love!
There are other interesting stories of Mankarah's past relationships, but these are the ones that stand out to you. You think they might be a bit of wish fulfillment--or not, since most of these relationships have some sort of end, but rarely are they tragic.
REVIEWS of MONI ★☆☆☆☆ "The worst person I've ever met." -- Sister, 2k18 "Literally garbage." - Scrappy, 2k17 "0/10 lol what is this." - Country Queen, 2k16 "0/10 this writer sucks." - Droplet, 2k14 neopets | NT
Khamet... evidently feels homesick. It might be because he's starting to dislike the rain... and the grass... and the leaves... and the scent of the air... all of which were superior back where he lived! Indeed, what he wouldn't give to smell that ever-present dusty air or set sights on a jagged formation of sand, to cautiously pick a desert flower or taste the sweetness of water after a long day. He even misses the ants, the "judgmental cats," and even the piercing heat.
So, it seems, he has decided to write about it. Or you think he decided to write about it, anyways, because notes on his homeland stretches for pages upon pages upon pages. They are all written with the same clinical, detached tone with which he writes about Eaine. He devotes a lot of time to describing the general geography, the major trade centers and cities, harbors, the things you would expect to find in a glossary.
Occasionally, some interesting detail enters the fray--pillars to speak to the gods, giant tombs for the god-kings, the scarab priests. Khamet, frustratingly, does not elaborate on these details. They're normal; why do they require explanation? Instead he writes about certain city streets, local folktales, and the people he knows.
... I know you know all of this—sorry to bother you—but sometimes, I need to write for myself, you understand. Besides, it will be a nice reference if somebody decides to ask me about my homeland. I think that I shall compile these notes with the following introduction:
"Welcome to this guide! Today, I will introduce you to my homeland; by the end of this, you shall be acquainted with the general geography, history, and governance of this land. I will also include some handy-dandy traveling tips in case you ever decide to visit! Without further ado, let's begin:"
And I think this is a very good way to start a primer on the whole thing. Everything is different out here--and relative to here, I suppose everything is different back home. I wish I could have taken somebody with me--anybody, really. Maybe Raia. I miss her.
There are some more notes on the fey. Nothing that isn't common knowledge, and nothing that immediately strikes you as having anything to do with his party. There are mentions that he is worried about one of his other party members, specifically Anthony. According to him, "all evidence points to the fact that Anthony and Tyzol are attempting to create half-Tyzol, half-Anthony children, and this prospect troubles me greatly." He spends a great deal of time detailing how horrible of a father Anthony would be.
Then, for no reason at all, he pivots toward talking about some paladins he knows--some from his order, some ... decidedly not. One person catches your eye.
... I remember the first time I met Raia. She was wearing that glittering armor that the paladins of Isis wear, and I couldn't even see her because she glowed so brightly in the sun! I was but a young child, running away from a very angry cat, who was angry because I'd stolen a live mouse from her, which she was about to eat! She was chasing me and hurling some extremely foul, family-unfriendly language at me. The mouse tried to wriggle out of my hands, apparently not understanding that I was saving it from certain death.
I ran and ran even as a bright light blinded me, and in mere seconds I had crashed face-first into Raia's cuisse. I heard some sort of startled noise, then the cat scratched my arm. The mouse, I assume, dashed away as the woman I had bumped into yelled at the cat.
"Worthless cretin! He is but a little boy--get out of here! One mouse isn't worth the trouble you just went through." The cat went away after a few more scorching words, looking for new prey. Raia grabbed me by the arms and helped me up. It hurt, at first, but as I got on my legs, I realized that my wound hurt less and less.
"There, there," said Raia, easily sensing my discomfort, "you should be all better now."
I was all better: the cat scratch was gone! I stared at the 20-something paladin--as she was back then--with a mixture of admiration and awe. Her eyes were a bright magenta, subtly ethereal, and a black tyet was drawn around her lips. It looked like a bad place to put a tattoo, as I assumed it was at the time, even though it was not actually a tattoo, but my parents had plenty of them, you understand, and I had always thought they looked cool! They were so distressed that I liked how they looked that they told me a story to discourage me from getting them.
The story was about an evil serpent, one that did not like to kill its victims, but rather, it preferred to torture them and mark them so that they could remember the horror they endured forever! The tattoos around their arms, they had told me, came when the snake wrapped around it and seared poison into their skin. It was extremely painful, my parents said, and they made sure to describe how painful it was. It was extremely painful! And it was one of my least favorite stories and I had nightmares about it every day as a child, but looking back, it was a good deterrent to ever getting a tattoo!
"Oh!" I exclaimed to Raia. "Were you bitten by Nurot around your mouth? Mom and dad told me that it was very painful."
Raia was confused, but she smiled and said something my parents would have to amend the story for forevermore: "No, I was not bitten by Nurot--otherwise, you would have never heard of him."
"Because you would have slain him! You're a paladin, right?"
"That's so cool! Thank you for saving me from that cat!" I gave her the biggest hug that I could. Reluctantly, she patted my head a few times. Raia was never very good with children, but I was enraptured with her anyways, because she was so cool! She towered over me and was incredibly shiny, and what child does not like shiny things? "You saved the mouse, too! It looked so sad with the cat, but I am a great thief, and I just saved it!"
"Well, if the cat immediately noticed, you probably aren't a great thief."
It broke Raia's heart to see me so dejected at failing to live up to my parents' legacy! She watched awkwardly as tears streamed down my face.
"Well, now, you may not be a great thief, but you are a great savior! You fearlessly took something from that cat; that rat would not be alive and... living his great rat life if it weren't for you... uh... what is your name?"
After that, she took me to my parents, but that wouldn't be the last time she saw me! She was posted at the paladin outpost near me, and she liked going to the market to buy watermelons a lot, and I also liked to go to the market to sample the fruit in the food carts! When you're a child, they really do let you get away with a lot... I wish I could still take a fig from a stall without paying and be greeted with a smile!
Sometimes, I even saw her on the job! I saw her walk coolly from buildings with a freshly-bloodied sword in her hands, dragging some poor heretical sorcerer in for custody, and even burning a demon with merely one gaze of her eyes! I made sure to say hi to her every time, even when it put me in great danger! One time, I even ran into a demon and got hurt! That demon, according to Raia, now lives in a farm somewhere in the north! A shame she did not slay him.
Over time, we were the best of friends! I gave her everything adults liked: paper, pens, boring things like that. She would smile and nod at me, and talk to me like I was one of her own: at least, she made me feel like I was being respected, even as she dragged me away from an ongoing fight against a particularly nasty warlock. I even introduced me to all my "husbands" and "wives" that I had when I was seven years old! She candidly corrected my misconceived notions about what marriage actually was, and I love that about her! Raia is always honest to me first and foremost, and always has my best interests at heart!
Even when I was going through puberty and tried all the various identities and friend groups that I did, she never hated me or reneged on our meetings! She was always there like a nice older sister, getting me out of trouble and advising me wherever she was! I love her very much, even if she... doesn’t always understand my feelings. It's really funny to think about: the closest thing I had to a sister was somebody I sometimes went months without seeing.
Above all, Raia was--and still is, an odd decade and some years later--dedicated to her job to wipe evil from the land, and will probably continue to be dedicated to her job for as long as I live! She brings justice upon the worst among us, and is so dedicated to it that she can easily discard her personal feelings! She has always been so far and above other people.
I suppose... sometimes too far above other people. She cares too much about things being done the correct way, and I never... did things the correct way, really. I don't think she ever understood what it was like, to be simply normal, I suppose. She was always frustrated when I didn't do things right, and in a sense, she was completely right. She thinks everything I do is mistaken in some way, she's usually right, and I absolutely hate it!
But I still love her very much! I like talking to her, joking with her, just not... I think of her as my older sister, and I suppose no sibling relationship is perfect! And if my only gripe with her is that I wish I were more like her, that can only be a good thing!
I especially wish I were as good a writer or as witty as she is. She is always prepared with a barbed tongue, ready to cut any unfortunate soul that dared cross her! She is a great warrior with anything, really, and very good, to boot! She always has the best intentions for me, and it's rare to find somebody who cares about you like that!
Khamet details even more incidents with Raia until he inevitably gets distracted with something else. That something else is the description of a few of his childhood friends and some of his more gross childhood antics. But once you get past all that, you find something that is of interest.
... Let me introduce you to Cepith, who is a person that actually exists! Ah, Cepith, where should I even begin with him? At the beginning, of course, at the beginning! Ever since he was a child, Cepith had a deep love of geometry; he liked lines, shapes, and three-dimensional forms, and the mathematical relationships between them! Unfortunately, his father hated mathematics and geometry, owing to the fact that he had an awful teacher that gave him a complex!
So poor Cepith had to study in secret until he mastered the subject, and for a while, he was the best mathematician in his local area! Until, one day, another mathematician arrived. Jealous of his great mind, the mathematician arranged for an "accident" to break his arm. While his arm healed, Cepith could not draw round shapes very well--instead, he refocused his efforts to studying polygons with straight lines and hard edges.
He eventually became so enraptured with edges that he had written many new theories about their application, which drove the mathematician who had broken his arm angrier with rage! Sensing a thick sense of danger in the air, his father warned him to stay away from mathematics, lest the mathematician come after him.
Cepith obeyed, at first. He found a good job working as a part-time blacksmith, part-time architect, all of this while he was still a very young man. But he could not resist the call of geometry, and this is when disaster struck.
Because you see, Cepith had not angered a mere human mathematician; this particular mathematician was a devil who stole mathematical principles from people so he could have fame and fortune for himself! So skilled was he at eliminating his enemies that nobody ever suspected him.
Disaster struck young Cepith's village. Fires raged in houses, but the devil, posing as the mathematician, evacuated everybody and blamed everything on Cepith! But Cepith was not so easily defeated, because he was more intelligent than a common commoner! He demanded proof of his so-called guilt in a court run by the local cleric of Ma'at, and the devil, in his hubris, accepted this.
Little did the devil know that Cepith had interviewed his father the night before. He noticed many similarities between the man that made his father hate mathematics and the mathematician that falsely accused him of burning down many houses in the village. The men, he realized, were the same person, and conspicuously had not aged. Whatever the mathematician was, he was not human--even if he wore the guise of one!
The devil strutted into the small temple of Ma'at with confidence, and the trial proceeded. The devil had planted his evidence well... but Cepith continued to find more and more holes in his story, and the scales of justice literally tipped into his favor! Angry at being outsmarted, the devil literally exploded with anger. He completely burned everything around him as he revealed his true form.
"Cepith! Foul human!" he roared, "you will never become a better mathematician than I am! So I will hereby destroy you once and for all!"
But at the last moments, the cleric of Ma'at summoned an avatar of Anhur; a great lion took the fiery blast for most of the temple attendees, but alas, Cepith was not spared. When he came to, he realized that, while he still loved polygons, he could no longer deal with numbers, owing to the curse embedded within the fire--he was permanently cursed with the inability to deal in mathematics... or to even draw shapes!
Cepith was crushed by this realization, and no matter how hard he tried, he could not forget his love for edges, but now he loved something else, too! The great and powerful Anhur, who had protected his village, and appeared to share a love of edges as well! Weapons had so many edges, and if Cepith could be with them his entire life, he could still be near them!
Thus, Cepith joined the Order of Anhur, the great Slayer of Enemies, and became a very good paladin indeed! He styles his hair to be spiky and his armor to have as many angles as possible, and laughs as he fells his enemies with the edge of his sword! Indeed, slaying his enemies gave him the respite he needed from his perpetual malaise.
... He talks a bit more about Anhur, and how great he is. You are not sure how you feel about Cepith. You have a feeling that this may be part of a joke... but this is completely factual and serious, relatively unfunny.
It is difficult to write about Cepith, I think. You never knew him all that well, but I do, and, well, I suppose the first thing you’d have noticed is that he is perhaps the ideal follower of Anhur. He is what occurs when somebody is so seething with rage that it eventually cools down and settles within them; outwardly, he appears to be calm, but you know not to provoke his ire.
He lives to serve Anhur, and is skilled in the art of war! Strong, intelligent, merciless, although for the sake of full disclosure, he would simply say was very merciful. He had plenty amount of mercy, as a matter of fact, it's just that this mercy happened to be a negative number, which is technically accurate.
I have never met anybody who was not a bit frightened of him, except Raia, who does not fear anything, really, and that is saying something, because I have seen extremely powerful demon-beholden people reduced to gibbering messes before him. I must admit that my heart races when he’s around, too, because he’s just so frightening!
Raia dislikes him, and I would be lying if I didn’t think she would dislike him, because he’s not the most personable guy around, and she has very high standards for people! He has some trouble talking to other people, I think, and he struggles with properly conveying his emotions. But I think the thing I like most about him is his determination! He stops at nothing to accomplish his goals, and he never, ever acts thoughtlessly, even when he is showing displays of negative-mercy!
Being driven is a great quality! It would certainly be nice to know what you are doing from time to time.
And whatever you may say about him, I do like how he’s logically consistent! Over the course of many friendly arguments and conversations, has quite a coherent worldview, which is admirable, I think, that he uses his brain to think about things, unlike some other people!
For no reason at all, Khamet launches into a tirade about some of his current party members. This tirade is so long that you forget what he was originally writing about. Instead, you are treated to a brief description of Varentar, which is apparently relevant for a reason you’re not quite sure of.
After a while, though, you see him go back to writing about Cepith, though it is more of an outline they had of an argument concerning whether morality comes from the gods, or whether it exists independently of them. It is very long, drawn-out, and pedantic from both sides.
You wonder how __b__ feels about having to read this, because you eventually can’t stomach his overdetailed descriptions of Cepith any longer.
REVIEWS of MONI ★☆☆☆☆ "The worst person I've ever met." -- Sister, 2k18 "Literally garbage." - Scrappy, 2k17 "0/10 lol what is this." - Country Queen, 2k16 "0/10 this writer sucks." - Droplet, 2k14 neopets | NT