Your Latest Sentence

[Deleted]

"Haven't seen Aingeni in a while. Maybe he forgot about me." She frowned. "I shouldn't be surprised. That's what guys do, you know. Throw you away like trash, pretend like you don't exist." She shut her eyes tight. "That's what my dad did to my mom."

Hmmmmmm, wasn't supposed to end on such a depressing note. <.< But this character is having an off day.

[Blu]

“You know,” said the shopkeeper, “I always worry about this species. I can never tell if it needs food, water, or sleep because all it does is sit there, drooling and starring out of its pen with those large eyes it has.”

The sentence needs some tweaking, but for the most part I like it. The section in the article is small though. Not sure if it is worth adding more words or if "fluff" will just ruin make the article drag on. Suppose I will find out when I post it for criticism.

[Deleted]

Nono was in town, and the young Moogle mechanic promised to take good care of the Juggernaut while we were on clan business. While he and Vasily talked shop, Qrrog and I went over our gear and supplies, making sure we had everything necessary for a potential combat situation. I felt confident in my healing spells, but I made sure to pack a few potions and remedies just in case I got worn out from casting. And my husband made sure his axe was nice and sharp.

Once we had gotten everything squared away, the three of us went out for dinner at our favorite place in town.

In which Squid unscrupulously glosses over the appearance of a character because she doesn't feel like writing that conversation in detail. Also because she's skating on thin ice as it is pretending to know enough about engineering to write engineers with any degree of believability.

... Although, considering this takes place in a fantasy world with fantasy technology, I probably don't have to worry too much about technical missteps.

[Blu]

“I know a man who sailed the lava tunnels of Moltara--” the Gnorbu begins. “—and he had an adventure you have never had.”

LAVA PIRATES!

[Blu]

Fascination and excitement swirl in your stomach like lava flowing down the Moltara tunnels. In front of you stood Commodore Rigney Birkin, your newest hero and idol.

[Deleted]

Before I could move, Qrrog wrenched my staff from my grip and threw me over his shoulder. “I don’t think so,” he said with a dark chuckle. “You two are comin’ with us.”

That’s another thing. I get to play hostage a lot. Because no one expects a Hume White Mage to have cross-classed in a Bangaa job that involves offensive magic, I can pull off the helpless thing believably. Also, I have long since learned that this is my husband’s bizarre way of flirting with me. Which explains why he attempted to take me hostage on the day we met.

It must be a Seeq thing.

I had to keep from smiling as the pirates confiscated Vasily’s hand-cannon and bound his hands. He snapped at them with his crocodilian mouth a few times out of spite, but otherwise stayed quiet. He looked over at me with an expression that screamed “I hate when this happens”.

I mouthed back “Just play along”, but he apparently couldn’t read Hume lips, because he just snorted in disgust and watched the Thief open the door to the warehouse. We would compensate for this later by giving Vasily a larger portion of the reward money to spend on maps and instruments for the ship.

I would get my compensation in the form of cuddles, which I was more than okay with.

I just think these characters' interactions are hilarious. Poor Vasily. He's stuck with two loonies.

[Blu]

You looked down to the table teetering cracked between you and Igneot seeing a glowing orange piece of coal. Was this the crystal ball?

[Deleted]

Jihl perked up. “Ah, here we are. Worgen Island.”

Out of the gray fog suddenly loomed jagged spears of stone, sticking haphazardly out of the ocean as though some giant had tossed them there. As we navigated around them, on a course these pirates apparently knew by heart, a massive wall of black rock rose to greet us. Choppy sea water splashed futilely against sheer cliffs that curved to either side of us, a natural fortress of rock.

Directly ahead of us was a cavern that led into the wall and out the other side. The mouth was formed of sharp chunks of stone that jutted out from the cliff in an overhang, indeed resembling the maw of a lupine Worgen.

“I see what you did there,” I muttered.

“I’ve heard o’ this place,” Qrrog said, craning his neck as we entered the yawning tunnel. “They say the pirate kings of old used it as their stronghold, but last I heard, most folks thought it was just a myth.” He grinned. “Guess they were wrong.”

“Those old stories have gotta be true,” Jihl said, his hands on his knees, “because this place is—“ He looked over his shoulder. “Well, see for yourself.”

Because I didn't want to go the tired old "'Why's it called _____?' *epic reveal* 'Ohhhh!'" route.

[Deleted]

“Sounds like a pain,” said Tasha, biting her lip. “But hey, why let her ruin it for you? So maybe she’s got a swollen ego, but hey, from what I gather, this is just temporary. She’ll cool down soon.” Fuming, Lilah transferred the omelette to a plate. She put it in front of Tasha, then collapsed into a chair. She folded her arms and pressed her forehead against them, groaning. “C’mon, Li-li, I—” Tasha yawned, then cleared her throat. “Li, I don’t want you to give up. You’re a good writer.”

“No I’m not, Tasha,” snapped Lilah, lifting her head. “It doesn’t matter, anyway. There’s no way I can catch up with her, that ugly, nasty, pretentious—”

“Don’t call her that, Lilah.” Tasha shook her head. “Getting mad at her just makes things worse. And in any case, hey, life’s not a race. You’ve always been like that, just racing through everything. And that’s fine sometimes, don’t get me wrong, but you can’t beat yourself up whenever there’s someone better than you. Just—I don’t know—” At that point, she put her head in her hands, the conversation having exhausted her. “You should just calm down a bit, okay?”

“Why?” Lilah stood up, arms at her sides, fists clenched, fur bristling. “Why do you want me to be like you?”

“I’m not saying that,” said Tasha. “You need to find your own path to happiness.”

“I am on that path, and I’m not going to quit just because y—” She broke off, tears in her eyes. “I have the right to do this. And you have no right to tell me what happiness is. You, some woman who lies around the house, someone who can’t even pay bills on time, someone who just gives up on everything—”

“Lilah,” Tasha said forcefully, rising from the table. She looked ready to launch into a speech, but faltered within moments. “I’m going to take a nap. I have a killer headache.”

“I’m sorry,” said Lilah, tugging at one of her ears. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me.”

Five minutes later, two doors slammed shut.

Lilah has problems, the biggest being her owner.
Tasha also has problems. The biggest is her neopet.

[Deleted]

He bumped my head with his snout. “Just rest now. Yer safe.”

“Ssafe?” Vasily hissed. “Ssssafe?!” He stomped his feet, looking like he would be gesticulating wildly if he had the use of his arms. “We’ve been captured by bloomin’ piratess, taken to a bloomin’ pirate-magicked island, into the lair of the bloomin’ Pirate King, and you call thiss ssssssssafe?!” His nostrils flared.

Qrrog grinned. “Well, yer with me, so yer safe.”

Vasily's really coming into his own in this story and I love it. He seems to have filled the niche of "grumpy old man", which apparently is present in every cast of characters I write. He's like Hyren, if Hyren was an orange crocodile-man with a Cockney accent. And an airship.

And of course Qrrog is just... his usual self. He's in his "I have a plan and I'm going to surprise you all with how amazing it is" mode. Which is also his "upstaging everyone else" mode.

[Kristykimmy]

A slight smile crept onto Yuka's lips in spite of herself. “Or so we would like to hope. Even the best intentions might be to the detriment of the Old Guard.”

The path to hell is paved with good intentions.

[Deleted]

I just like this entire conversation so I am going to unashamedly post all of it.

SPOILER: Click to show

Vasily was sitting at a table by himself in the corner, hunched over a plate stacked with thick strips of bacon and slices of cured ham. He gave us an irritated look out of the corner of his eye when we sat down across from him, although a chunk of ham was currently occupying his mouth.

He tilted up his snout and swallowed it, and then went back to glaring at us. “I hate people.”

Qrrog laughed and chomped into one of his own pieces of bacon. “Sorry, Scales, but it’s nothin’ you can’t handle. I know you got yer big-Bangaa britches on.”

“They’re louder’n a russty crankshaft!” Vasily snarled, taking out his frustrations on another unfortunate piece of ham. “Couldn’t get nary a wink o’ shuteye! And they all ssmell awful!”

I smiled. Knowing Vasily as long as I had, I came to learn that he likes to complain. It’s when he’s quiet that he’s really upset about something. “Vasily, you think all non-Bangaa smell awful,” I pointed out.

“Aye, and ssome o’ me own brethren and sssisterss don’t ssmell that great either! And don’t get me sstarted on the bloke on the bunk above mine—wouldn’t sstop movin’ around, it was like tryin’ ter ssleep through a bloomin’ hurricane!” In order to appease his exasperation, he stuffed a bread roll in his maw. “Oy, I needed me mornin’ meat,” he muttered to himself.

Qrrog and I looked at each other and chuckled. Vasily’s always like this when he wakes up. Food seems to perk him up to the point where he’s at least slightly less grumpy.

“You feelin’ better, Terra?” our Cannoneer asked after a few more bites of food.

“Much,” I replied. “Sorry you didn’t sleep well. It—“ I stopped myself before I could say it would only be a few more days that he’d have to sleep in the billets. I didn’t want to run the risk of being overheard. “I’m sure it’ll get better.”

Vasily was more willing to play the part of belligerent hostage, for obvious reasons. He leaned over the table at Qrrog. “I want me bloomin’ ship back, boyo.”

My husband grinned. “All in good time, Scales, all in good time.”

“I told Nono I’d be back for ‘er in five dayss!” Vasily banged his fist on the table, his four long ears swaying beneath his muzzle. “I ain’t lettin’ the Juggernaut get impounded ‘coz of a hotshot pirate who thinkss he runss the clan!”

A large brown hand grabbed Vasily’s scarf and pulled him back to his chair. “Settle down, mate, before you burst a blood vessel,” Jihl said.

“Don’t mind him, he’s always like that,” Qrrog laughed. “I consider it entertainment with me lunch.”

Jihl leaned on the back of the chair next to Vasily’s. “Well, you’d better finish that lunch soon. Ozra wants you to take command of one of the ships that’s goin’ out for a raid.”

Qrrog glanced up at him. “Raid?”

“Aye. He’s been havin’ us pillage hamlets along the coast, since they’re ill-defended. Where d’you think that food is from?”

I looked down at the apple in my hand guiltily and put it back on my plate. What poor farmer had this stuff been taken from?

My husband felt much the same way, as his smile faded. “That’s pretty low, matey. Whatever happened to just goin’ after merchant ships?”

Jihl sighed. “That’s not how Ozra operates. Now c’mon, we’re headin’ out soon.”

“Right.” Qrrog nodded and turned to me. “Terra, love, I’ll be back tonight. Hold down the fort for me.” He gave me a hopeful smile. “Don’t you worry none. Ol’ Qrrog knows what he’s doin’.”

I sure hoped so. But after the conversation we’d had that morning, I had decided not to doubt him any more. I would support him in whatever crazy plan he’d concocted, even if I didn’t fully understand it yet.

So I grinned back and leaned in to give him a hug. “Good luck out there. Stay safe.”

He patted my head. “Always.”

“Oh, and, uh…” Jihl looked over at me. “Your wife’s a White Mage, right? Ozra wants her in the infirmary.”

I grimaced. Spending my day having to heal pirates was not something I was looking forward to.

Qrrog put an arm around my shoulders. “Nah, she needs to stay with Vasily. Someone needs to keep him in line, he’s got quite a temper.”

“So I guess you could say he’s a… loose cannon?” I said.

My husband snorted. “Well played.”

The Cannoneer rolled his eyes and glared dourly up at Jihl. “See what I have ter deal with every bloomin’ day.”

The Revgaji laughed. “Sorry mate, orders are orders.”

“Seems to me,” Qrrog said as he stood up, “that it’d be smart to keep a medic in the workshop. ‘Asides, Brighteyes is loyal to me, but Scales here ain’t quite convinced. There could be ‘accidents’ in the workplace, if you catch me drift.” His grip on my shoulder tightened. “I’m sure Ozra’ll understand.”

Jihl watched us for a moment and then nodded with a smirk. “Aye, as long as you’re out there raidin’, and Vasily’s in the workshop, I don’t think he’ll quite care what Terra does so long as she’s not getting’ into trouble.”

“I won’t,” I said. “I promise.”

[Yoyti]

MAMBRES: When your father, the king Amasis, did obtain the throne of Egypt, he forbade anyone, including you, his daughter Amasidia, to speak the name of the former king, whom he gypped, or else they be gypped!

I didn't put line breaks into the recitative, but yes, I did just rhyme "Egypt" with "he gypped" and "be gypped". I'm proud of that.

[Sporty]

There was something else hidden with these books of theirs, some piece of the puzzle that he neither had now knew which hole it filled, and its lack would make damage control all the more difficult.

And Avenis is off to a start! I rather like this line -- part of me feels like it might be a little forced and need tweaking later, but it was fun playing around with the old "piece of the puzzle" metaphor.

[Shinko]

“Sometimes I have to remind myself that there is yet part of the old me that my master has not crushed. I was born in freedom, Mademoiselle. You may not believe this but I was a knight once, a long time ago. I willingly put my life on the line for the sake of defending my people. I have been conditioned so that holding any implements that might feasibly be used as a weapon makes my hands feel as if they are on fire, and I have long since weakened in both body and constitution. But I have not forgotten the code of chivalry. If I am to suffer regardless, and live the life of a slave, I should rather the suffering of the entire world fall upon my shoulders then upon a single undeserving soul.”

Courdonian AU Belial is so sad and broken, but he tries so hard anyway.