Guilympics: Bribe Bash

[Deleted]

Slightly happier with his new points from Hunty, and glad to have at least surprised the fabled pirate, Sarn decided that the next best thing to do would be to return to another judge. But who?

Shade had seemed only slightly receptive to his charms. She had always been able to resist, to a degree, which is more than could be said for many others, but he had no other way of coaxing her into a generous donation of points for his efforts. Hunty was still in stitched, laughing at his ridiculously inexperienced attempt at blackmail.

Draco. It would have to be Draco.

Without another word, the Feberi spread his wings to the sky, lifted off and scanned the busy streets for the judge. He spotted him almost instantly and swooped down, landing directly in front of him, grinning widely and stretched out his hand in appeal.

"My good judge, today is your lucky day!" Sarn paused and flushed, realizing how cliche he sounded, though Draco had not turned away... yet. He continued. "I do believe that one such as yourself would have a good eye for the value of certain services, am I correct? Well, I am one of the best Feberi enchanters, my voice is legend among the peaks of Taliem. And, I, in humble humility, wish to offer you these skills, as well as my more, ah, private skills."

He winked and grinned cheekily and then rummaged around in a pocket, withdrawing a bag. "And just because I adore you, here is a bag of shinies that came from the narratively convenient Bank of Cyberspace, where you don't have to make a deposit in order to withdraw!"

[Shadaras]

Ten points to Sarn for reviving this. xD

[Draco]

The first thought that ran into Draco's mind when Sarn lands in front of him was "Attack!" He starts to reach for a kunai, but stops when he realizes who it is. He stands there listening to everything said.

"I can think of a few things that you can be useful for."

"Like a distraction on a mission," he thought.

"15 points for the services, 10 points for reviving, and 10 more for the shinies."

Draco than places a hand on Sarn's shoulder and begins to walk away explaining a mission he was about to go on.

[Zylaa]

Zylaa watched the exchanges, then raised an eyebrow and turned to Hunty.

"So Sarn threatens to destroy our ship-- futile a threat as it may be-- and gets rewarded. I volunteer to do more work around the ship, work that other crewmembers should be doing, and I don't get a single point? I feel slighted here."

[Huntress]

Hunty eyed Zylaa with a small semi-scowl. "He didn't threaten to destroy the ship, he threatened to commit suicide. There's a difference. And fact is, you offered to watch the cargo, which is your job."

"Or," Bloody Mary piped up, "you could say that she just gave you a double-pledge of loyalty."

Hunty paused. "That sort of thing exists?"

"Yes, well, it pretty much just means that breaking it is punishable by death."

There was another pause. "As opposed to?"

"Punishable by less death?" the meepit said with the expression of someone who lives in a world where death is, due to magic and suchlike, rather cheap.

"I'll have to read the Code someday," mused the captain. "But, weeell, this has to count for some thirty points at least, don't you think?"

((Another couple pages of this thread and I'll need my very own Disney Villain Song x3))

[Shadaras]

Right. For every day (24 hours) this thread is not posted upon between now and the end of the Guilympics, every participant loses ten points. =D ...starting now. *is bored and doesn't want this to die, because the Guilympics really is a good idea*

[Huntress]

Do we have a definite number of participants, though? >>

*is vaguely wondering if it's possible for judges to prod other judges to favor their guild and whatnot, just so that I'd have something else to do besides sitting around and being smug at hopeful bribers*

*not that I dislike that*

*and not that I'm good at prodding people... well, I am, but not in a very nice way*

[Deleted]

I see no reason why judges can't get in on the action. ^-^ Speaking of which...

*falls on my knees in front of Shade* I... *gasp* need... can't survive without... gah... *pant* I need points... to survive... will die without... them. *flails*

[Shadaras]

What action, Sarn-love?

*places a hand on Sarn's head* ..I wouldn't want a singer like you to fall, would I? Let's see now... fourty points to Sarn. Let's make this game more interesting.

[Draco]

Draco waves at Sarn.

"I have another mission if your interested. This one involves flaming flying boulders, compared to the poison tipped arrows last time!"

[Amneiger]

Amneiger had almost no idea what was going on.

When he’d heard the word “bribe,” he’d been imagining sneaking into dark alleyways and dimly lit taverns, money bags passed under tables, ominous characters with briefcases full of illicit lucre.

Now he was in line. In line for a stage. A stage with – oh, it was his turn.

Um. He didn’t have a speech.

“Hello, judges: Drake, Hunty, Shade. First I’d like to say that I wasn’t expecting this at all. Bribes are supposed to be about sneakiness and corruption not…well…actually this reminds me of some kind of talent show. Like American Idol. With the judges sitting in chairs and all. I don’t know, I’ve never watched that show.”

“I also thought that this was going to be a scouting mission, not a handing-things-out mission. So the only equipment I’ve brought with me is some protection.” Here Amneiger gestured towards the minitank that had followed him on stage. “For obvious reasons I can’t just give this away.”

“Since I didn’t actually bring anything, not even money or materials, I’m going to have to go with the only thing I have at hand. Anyone who doesn’t give Spacefleet enough points will be shot. Thank you.”

[Shadaras]

Shade looked at Amneiger, a slight smile on her face. "Really. You didn't make the connection between Guilympics and the bribe bash." She laughed, glancing at the mini-tank. "How about this: I give you enough points to be pretty well in the running, and you take that toy away."

(100 points to Amnei if he agrees. =D ...70 if he lets Shade get away with this but doesn't make his mini-tank leave. Because I like you and the game's more interesting when people are at similar levels of pointiness.)

[Amneiger]

"...Well, I thought the bribery would be less out in the open."

Amneiger thought quickly back to the other participants' point totals. "Sarn has 165 points and Zylaa has 152. And as I've said, this minitank is all I have. I might see what the other judges offer first."

[Draco]

"Hmm, seems you need to be updated into the contest, but that doesn't seem to be a problem."

Draco looks around the stage and than at the tank.

"I don't believe I've been taking bribes on a stage, but that doesn't really matter either. Now for your points..."

He disappears and reappears next to the tank, looking it over.

"I would take the highest points given to you right away, without waiting. -10 points. Threaten all of us with a tank? -10 points. The fact you haven't been struck down by any judge yet..."

He taps on one of the small windows on the tank.

"20 points. The tank is also very nice, and seems safe. 30 points. Oh, and if you shoot at me, -200 points. But I believe you won't."

[Zylaa]

Zylaa tried to look scornfully at Amnei's tank, which was difficult, as she was more concerned with the fact that he had a very scary weapon in the room. Putting the Bash in Bribe Bash, she thought.

"Alright," she said, considering Shade's announcement. "You want to make the game interesting?" She spoke to all the judges. "I offer myself as a one-weasel performance. Well, and mini-weasels, if necessary. Want me to give an impromptu soliloquy on shiny objects? I'll do it. Want me to perform modern dance to the tune of a tavern song while balancing a tankard of rum on my foot? I'll do it. Whatever you all wish, I'll be here to make sure your stay as judges is interesting."

((And why yes, I will roleplay these requests in this thread, once they are given.))