Pirate RP - Post GW

[Cyborg]

" I say kill Kassandra and sell the sword, but tha's just me." Cyborg said as he got out his cutlasses.

[Zylaa]

"Sell the sword. If the Sue wants to keep on living in this run-down temple, that's up to her." Zylaa looked at the ball of spikes, formerly a blarf, that rocked on the coins. "Can we take them home, mommy Hunty?"

[Huntress]

Hunty grinned. "Where would we put them all? And I doubt they'd all want to leave the island."

Kassandra spun around again, her eyes widening. "Hey, you can't do that! This sword was forged by elven-smiths deep in the forests of Ilidruin, and the sorceress of Merda herself blessed it with her runes, and-"

"All the more value to it," Huntress stated, picking it up and weighing it in her hand. "Does it glow in the presence of the enemy?"

"It..." the elf scowled in confusion. "It should."

The sword, very pointedly, didn't glow. Despite the puns.

"Sorceresses really ain't what they used to be," Hunty agreed, taking a big step aside. At that point, the blarf rolled down the coin-hill.

And, within a second, went slow-motion.

Hunty's eyes met Kassandra's. The elf's violet eyes had narrowed. She was concentrating.

The pirate's greyish eyes narrowed too.

"My story," she said, as the world bent around them, slowing down and becoming hazy.

"Mine!" the elf hissed back.

"Are you as good at storytelling as I am?"

"Yes!"

"Your whole existence begs to differ."

"Pardon?" Bloody Mary asked, feeling that he'd missed a memo, squinting curiously at the slo-mo blarf-roll.

"If this is her story," Hunty said, still keeping eye contact, "then she ends up gracefully leaping away, landing in front of me, kicking me, grabbing her sword back and then probably killing me. While swirling her hair and not breaking a sweat, possibly. If this is my story... she won't."

"And who's deciding?" asked the meepit.

"Whoever can convince the story to go their way." She grinned. "Most writers hate Sues. I wonder if most stories hate Sues too?"

Time came back with a 'ping', and the blarf hit Kassandra. She flew almost a dozen feet away and hit a pile of coins which collapsed over her.

Hunty threw the sack of gold over her shoulder, almost tripping over under its weight, as the guardian struggled out of the pile, trembling a little and looking up, eyes gleaming madly, the cascade of silver hair hanging in front of the face. Which was perfectly in tact, apart from a single line of blood dripping from the corner of her mouth. As it so tends to happen.

"And so," Hunty remarked rather grimly, "she lived in the temple for the next two hundred years, plotting revenge and swearing that one day she would have her vengeance. And she trained, and studied magic, and one day set out to her one big quest to find the bloody pirates and pay them back, a quest that'll probably involve a handsome if kinda daft hero, some cuddly animals, and old women carrying twigs showing them the way. And so forth. Too bad we'll all be dead in two hundred years."

"Doesn't sound like your kinda story," said the meepit.

"It can be, if I'm having enough fun writing it." She turned around. "Guys, I'd say it's time to leave. Everyone got their shinies?"

[Kengplant]

((XDXDXDXDXD A STANDING OVATION HUNTY! ROFLMAO!))

Keng ran about and picked out the items she liked best, then stuffed her pockets with as much gold and jewels as she could. She also found a basket woven of gold fibres. It was heavy, but not as heavy empty as it was once she filled it up. "Ok, I think I'm good to go!" she declared looking like an over laden pack mule out of red riding hood. My what big teeth she still had despite all the pointy ancient weapons, shiny goblets, sparkling crowns and other miscellaneous objects on her. She then picked up one more item daintily between said teeth and took a few steps forward. She jingled like ridiculously fancy Christmas bells made of unnecessarily expensive material with each twitch of a muscle.

Their blarf friend put it's snout at her level to watch her pass. "Blarf?" it asked confused. It'd lived in the jewels all it's life. How was it supposed to know how valuable they were? Unfortunately for Keng the Blarf's breath hadn't improved any since when they'd first encountered it. A burst of rank odors swept over her complete with puke green tinged vapor. She began to gag and very nearly fell over.

[Zylaa]

((XDDD I sense the spirit of Terry Pratchett flowing through you, Hunty.))

Zylaa produced a large black canvas bag from somewhere and began to root through the treasure horde, choosing only the choicest items. Of course, since many of the choicest items were hidden, she ended up diving into many heaps of gold, digging in up to her waist to look for the shiniest coins, sculptures, chests, jewelry, and ceremonial weapons.

At about the third heap she came to, her paws thunked on something very large and solid. Curious, Zylaa swept away most of the gold covering it.

A large chest, about big enough for a baby blarf, lurked under the treasure. Regularly spaced carvings on the sides and lid looked vaguely South American, maybe Incan or Aztec. Zylaa paused and looked at the chest, and could have sworn that she heard low, ominous music playing in the background. She pushed the lid.

Unfortunately, the lid was pretty much rusted shut, and it wasn't a very shiny chest anyway, so she bounced off and resumed diving into other piles.

[Goosh]

((*applause*))

"Right," Goosh agreed, piling a few more jewels into his sack, stopping to kick a pile of coins over Kassandra, who fainted most elegantly. He stared gloomily into the tunnel ahead. "It's a ways out," he complained, walking over to the chamber wall and wiping off some dust. "And those stairs are murder." He elbowed the wall swiftly, and a few errant bricks tumbled away. Evening light, a hazy combination of sun and moon, filtered in. "Perhaps we could persuade a blarf to become a battering ram."

[Huntress]

((*bows* Thank you, I love you all xD))

"You heard the guy," said Hunty, nudging the nearest blarf. "Time to hit the road and leave this place. I want that wall down, presto. Savvy?"

The creature stared down at her, showing no signs of savvy.

"Really now-" began the pirate, stopping as her head was yanked sideways. Bloody Mary was pulling her earring.

"Shh!" he snarled. "Something's... moving."

Hunty's eyes narrowed. "Where?"

"Dunno. I just heard something. And that something had so much stereo that whatever caused it, it's huge."

"Typical," she muttered, heaving the bag to the back of the nearest blarf, who didn't quite seem to make up its mind about whether or not it should eat her. "Okay boys, once more for the back rows. Break that wall down. Or you'll all be breakfast."

That processed, though probably more because of the new noise than the order. All over the treasure room, spiky furballs formed on the gold, reflecting back from the coins. The blarf with Hunty's treasure bag on its back seemed to feel like doing the same thing, but stopped when the pirate leaped on its back, seated herself between two spikes, muttered something about Mother Nature's worst choice of steed ever, and then knocked her heels against the creature's sides, "Don't even think about it, mate."

The blarf glared back at her, then its ears perked, making it look a bit like a mutant rabbit, and it stared at the back wall that was wrapped in darkness. There indeed was a shuffling, rumbling sound somewhere behind it.

Ears protruded from other furballs as well, then they seemed to make up their minds in unison, and rolled down into the wall.

It crumbled, slowly and majestically as old walls usually do, though the pompousness was somewhat spoiled by the fact that the blarfs didn't stop to admire, but sped through the hole and rolled off as fast as they could - so fast that the rubble barely touched them. Hunty's steed snorted, fidgeting on spot, waving its mace-like tail nervously. The remaining blarfs in the room were still hesitant, though each and every one had their ears perked and moving nervously.

"Guys, grab a blarf if you want, they won't hurt you if you take them by surprise, and let's take French leave," ordered the captain, ramming her boots in the steed's sides, which felt rubbery under all the fur. "I don't really feel like paying homage to our lovely host. And, uh, watch where you sit."

The blarf snorted happily and trampled off.

[Kengplant]

Keng sadly had to drop some of her newly aquired luggage to be able to follow the vice captains orders but she was confident that she still had a sizeable fotune on her. And she could move without risking falling over too. That was always important when faced with impending doom. So, following the advice given to her she hopped onto a blarf that had not yet curled up and run away. She was pleasently surprised to find that there was treasure stuck in it's fur and on some of it's spikes. It was apparently a younger one who didn't really care for grooming. But it was still sizable and strong enough to carry her, if not very startled by the sudden landing of something on it's back. In a panick it made a mad dash after the other blarfs who had knocked down the walls.

[Cyborg]

Cyborg grabbed his loot and jumped on the nearest blarf. " Giddy up what ever you are. Hey Hunty can I keep 'im? He's so strange, but cute and I'd name him Fluffy. I know I already have the squirrels but they'll be scared of this guy, so can I pleeeease keep him?" Cyborg said in a fake whiny voice.

[Dragon]

((Who has the sword?))
Dragon transformed back into an elf and in one sweep swept her bag through the loot and hoisted herself onto a nearby blarf. Grabbing two of his tentacles she steered him towards the rest of the gang. Seeing a medallion, she picked it up. She couldn't read the runes on it, but thought it was pretty enough to accentuate her outfit, thus tying it to some black string and putting it around her neck.

[Huntress]

((Mrm, I think I still have the sword. Probably stuck it in the convenient jungle of corset belts on my back. When it comes to equipment, I'm about as laws-of-physics-abiding as your average computer game character <<))

The blarfs stampeded down the hillock and through the jungle, smoothly and quietly unless you counted the occasional cheery trumpet-sounds of 'blaaarf'. Due to their six legs, their pace was amazingly steady.

"Lookie, cheap movie effects," Bloody Mary said, his voice hinting concern. Huntress risked to turn around, despite all the rigid crossbow-and-quivery equipment on her back and sharp spikes all around her sitting area.

Dark clouds were gathering above the temple. They were also gathering near the horizon. The latter was probably a natural storm - then again, you'll never know.

"Yeah, I'd been wondering why the ominous temple of doom looked so incomplete," grumbled the pirate, then shot a glance at Cyborg. "And we're not keeping them. We didn't release the whole blarf-race only to turn them into a pirate petting zoo."

"Yeah, because there's no way we can allow a petting zoo on a pirate ship," Bloody Mary remarked somewhat dryly.

"Was that self-irony?"

"Possibly."

Hunty turned to face forward again. "I'll much rather have a bunch of intelligent rodents around than a gang of 600-pound semi-sentinent spike furballs with tentacles. A pirate's life is hard enough with predictable predators on board... speaking of which, where the heck is that bloody ship of ours?"

[Deleted]

The tumbling crash of sliding stones echoed violently against the mountain face, the revirbiation made the crashing bricks sound double when the sound wave reached the ship, causing Lep'Tony to slightly spill hot coffee on his chin. He knew he couldn't order the little blue anarchists around, but timing of the sound and the slightly confused look on their faces prompted him to make a suggestive order.

"Yeouch!" Shaking his whiskers and wiping what he could off his orange shirt. "I expect Hunty an' company er returnin'. Sound the bell messmates an' let's get the Weewoo ready to move."

It was a sure bet, with that much noise, the crew was probably returning on the run. Zalpho, Gueles and Doodle returned in short order helping along a dinghe full of meepits, squirrels, and weasels from the beach.

"A'right me cullys get those foresails set and make ready yer trifoil an' spritsails!" He bellowed forward then turned to his trusty pteri. "Neddy, take yon icy weasels an' recheck the mainsails fer fastdrapin'! I want her ready ta set double quick! Then post yeself in the crow's nest" He downed what was left of his coffee as he headed to the ladder (That's stairs fer ye lubbers) down to the quarterdeck and curtly pitched the coffee cup overboard. "Ah, that hit the spot. Zalpho, take Santa an' two other meepits ta row that dink back to shore fer the crew. Gueles, Doodle, an' I'll stan'by o'er the fo'c'sle ta turn up the anchor, har, har!" Finally he pointed at two filthy looking squirrels. "Best get yeselves below an' make ready the inboard batt'ry, best safe n' sorry, eh?"

They set to with a will and a purpose.

[Kengplant]

As the blarf trampled on, it's back arching impressively between each thrust forward from one of the 3 sets of legs Keng found herself holding on for dear life. It was an awkward rythm to be riding. She noticed that it was mostly the younger ones who were jerky in their running motion, and she was on a young one. Lucky her. Still, all the same she couldn't help but enjoy it and was unable to resist breaking out into I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts.

"Oh I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts,
didididi
There they are a standing in a rowww,
Big ones, small ones-"
THWAK!
"OUCH! That one just hit my head!"

[Huntress]

As the dark clouds rose higher, the blarfs got more nervous. The path wasn't all that wide, as jungle paths tend to be, and as they ran, they pulled themselves together more closely. Which meant a fast-paced carpet of thick fur that had spikes and tentacles poking out of it.

Hunty pulled her legs up, shifting around to find a more comfortable position, and finally ended up squatting on the blarf's back as the spiky sides of two other blarfs were closing in from either side. She was vaguely amazed that none of the creatures had pierced the others yet.

"Um, Hunty," said Bloody Mary, standing tall on her shoulder, having stretched himself out as much as he possibly could and sniffing the air very carefully.

"What?"

"Jump."

The blarf-carpet broke out of the jungle all of a sudden and came to the beach. To the dunes. To the thick, white, hot sand. And the furry mass broke apart at once, each running in a separate direction, most of them skidding in the sand and falling over only to beat the air with all six paws frantically before swinging themselves back up and galloping on.

Hunty jumped. Her arm protested again as she landed on it, sand flying all around her, but that was nothing compared to what would've happened if her bag of loot had landed a few feet closer, or if she'd been around for her steed to fall. And it did fall, skidded into the sand in a small white hurricane before jumping up and hurrying away.

"Woah," said Bloody Mary, spitting sand. "Did you see? That thing can run on its back."

"Those were just the tentacles," muttered the captain, getting up. The day had been eventful enough, and the sight of a gigantic fluffmonster sliding by on its back, being pulled on by its tentacles didn't really hint any possible changes in that sense.

She turned around, wincing as she realized that the quiver on her back had suffered a blow and was now practically oval. Then again, made it all the more compact. Hopefully the bolts were in tact.

Clouds were still gathering. Now they were also shooting out lightning bolts every now and then. At that rate the jungle would catch fire. She was rather sure it will - after everything the temple had had to offer, it wasn't likely to get any more original at this point.

She turned around once more. Well, at least this sight was infinitely more bearable. The sun was sinking closer to the horizon, the bay was white with foam as the offshore wind was picking up. And there, farther towards the open sea, shimmering like a huge seagull, was their brigantine. The Weewoo.

She grinned. This might still have a happy end after all.

"Everyone present and in tact?"

"Aye," said Bloody Mary sulkily. The meepits had gathered around the bag of loot and were clinging to it, driven by the - rather understandable - logic that there's no way Hunty would leave them behind that way.

Huntress lifted the bag up, pondered throwing a few things out to make it lighter for a second, then snorted to herself and trotted off through the shallow waters towards the ship.

"Ready to set sail!" her voice echoed over the waters, to everyone on the ship and on the shore alike. Every minute was now counting.

[Goosh]

Goosh's blarf broke away from the pack and charged through the undergrowth to escape the wrath of the dark clouds. While normally a supporter of nonconformity, Goosh preferred to stay alive for the most part of his adventures, and yanked one of the blarf's spikes, sending it tumbling down a steep hill and onto sand that was both white and white hot.

Goosh was flung bodily across the beach, passing Hunty and the Meepits and into the water with a large smack. He groggily got to his knees and waded around the ship towards the Cap'n, clutching his loot like a security blanket.

"Isn't there supposed to be a rope or something?" he moaned, rubbing his forehead.