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Post by Dice on Mar 23, 2008 11:12:14 GMT -5
Wow, that's an AWESOME poem. I submitted one about Bruno and Sophie that I think I'll have to resubmit, if indeed their database got cleared out...the parentheses parts are supposed to be italics, but I was too lazy to code >_> Fireside at evening, cozy, inviting
Books piled near the couch and children delighting
In sweet sips of chocolate and bites of warm bread
Your laugh in the air, my hand on your head.
(One for creating, two for burning)
Pages burned as a greedy torch flashes
The fireplace crumbles, ashes to ashes
Dust to dust, the couch ripped asunder
And a monster that flees ‘midst the rain and the thunder.
(Three for gaining, four for yearning)
A springtime festival, the glow of your smile
As ribbons twirled and tangled, dancing all the while
The fresh breeze of life brushing your hair
My bow, the linked fingers—‘I’ll always be there’
(Five for promising, six for lying)
The carnival tents crumpled and thrown to the soil
A tiny green ribbon discarded to spoil
‘Neath the feet of a mob; the wind cut harsh and cruel
Chasing a creature, a liar, a fool.
(Seven for laughing, eight for crying)
The rain marred my face as the lightning crashed above
Mocking me with memories of the sister that I loved
Left alone to sob in a flight from a misty town
With her brother, her protector, nowhere to be found.
(Nine for loving,)
Alone in a dark cave as black as the skies
I remembered little sister, with your dancing eyes
I howled out my grief as the dream became true—
Sophie, forgive me, I couldn’t be there for you.
(Ten for tears.)
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Post by puffydude on Mar 23, 2008 11:17:57 GMT -5
Well once, I did step out
And gathered on Neopia’s blacken’d planes
I looked, and spied, and duly found
The sources of all the rains
The cause of all hardship
The herald of all tears
The master of the misery drip
A star of all your fears
‘Twas sparkling grey with parts of blue
Grief upon a mystic face
And phantom veil of darkness true
Struck upon that curs’d place
I imagine it was something once
Crippled leaves on choking tree
Lost unbound in lonely months
A ship across the ashen sea
But what was once is now no more
And despair comes all around
The deep eyes of that crushing core
Consuming all they found
And it burns not like the other stars
All broken, hung and draped
Just a dream, a dream too far
Of long forgotten grace
Oh Grey Faerie, oh grey star
Too far away, far too far Not sure if this is Neo-related enough. *shrugs* Either way, it's terrible >_> |
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Post by Dice on Mar 23, 2008 11:23:09 GMT -5
That's not at all terrible, Puffin. I think the last two lines are great! ....I have to write my Grey Day poem! O___O Edit: Wow, I was inspired  I might add another stanza, though. Cry Me Grey
Take your palette, painter
And mark it with a tear
For faerie cheerless, faerie hopeless
Eyes streaming grief and fear.
Take your key then, locksmith
Break my irons, call me free
But faerie friendless, faerie chained
Never tasted liberty.
Take your fabrics, dressmaker
And dip them into sorrow’s stream
For faerie ragged, faerie worn
And try to patch her dream.
Take your notes, musician
And play me a soft song
For faerie soundless, faerie silent
Voice stilled for years too long.
Take your parchment, poet
And sear it with a flame
For faerie imprisoned, faerie pained
Who hides away in shame.
Take your laughter, young one
And say I’ll fly someday,
But faerie wingless, faerie crying
Can only weep in grey.
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Post by Clocky: Activity is a Thing on Mar 23, 2008 11:46:20 GMT -5
Grand edit: Feh, removed the whole poem. [-.-]
Anyways, time to work on my Grey Day poem... or something. xD;
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Post by puffydude on Mar 23, 2008 13:30:48 GMT -5
Show me the master
And show me the maid
Show me the Chia who labours with spade
Show me the lane
And show me the leaves
That fall dry and brown from nine chestnut trees
Yes, show me the fountain
And show me the face
Of stone Usul with parasol brim full of grace
Show me the mountains
And show me the mystery
A million deep lines, etched into history
Oh, show me the pavements
And show me that place
How an old Bori doth long for your face
The old cracked brick wall
Black gates spread right wide
Red door makes a call
And over grey doorstep I happily stride Man, I get inspiration easily for this. Shame I'm so lousy at it  Any tips on how I might improve? |
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Post by Anjie on Mar 23, 2008 19:26:18 GMT -5
LOL! I think I'll have to just get used to replying to both. : )
Oh, you should. That's fantastic, I love the parentheses effect, it's almost sinister. I read that poem outloud and it was almost like a chant, so hypnotic!
I don't think you give yourself enough credit. : ) It's very good.
I best go work on something Grey. Ow, my brain!
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Post by Rikku on Mar 23, 2008 19:45:30 GMT -5
This thread is a great idea. ^_^ I enjoy reading the Poetry Gallery, even if I phail at actually entering it. xD ... On the subject, I wrote a non-rhyming poem for Shoyru Day that I rather liked; rhyming ones get in more often, but I'd still welcome any ideas on how I could improve my style.
Meridell, known for potatoes, laughter and sludge,
It slumbers 'neath dark sky and silver-specked heavens.
Few are awake, fewer still walk the streets.
One does not walk, but flies,
Silent, following.
Despite the sleeping sludge-land's peace
There are some who would take advantage.
People who would sell their own mother for a handful of pennies.
Villains. Thieves. Rogues. Watch.
He follows them on tiring wings,
Speed failing, tested endurance,
But still he flies, his goggles pointed towards those
Who would strive to disturb the peace of others, this peaceful night.
He is the Scout. The Shoyru. Anonymous,
Unseen. Unknown. Outlandish, still he chooses
To help those that would shun him if they knew him.
He is the Scout, smeller of secrets, hunter of lies.
See; he follows. Watch.
Laughter of thieves,
Loud, triumphant
Mocking. Smug.
His eyes narrow. He raises his staff.
The night is lit with a flash, bright as lightning.
The crystals glow. The thieves whimper. They try to flee.
It doesn't matter. He will find them. Justice will find them.
In the end.
Foiler of crime. His staff cuts through the web of deceit
That evil minds would spin around his city.
His goggles hide his face. Unseen. Unknown. Thanked, and cursed.
The Shoyru Scout flies tonight.
Watch.
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Post by Anjie on Mar 24, 2008 2:27:47 GMT -5
I thought the Shoyru Scout poem was beautiful. Something very much in the style of Yeats in that first verse, which is always a good thing.
Rhyming poetry seems to work best for me, my non-rhyming ones don't tend to get in, so it's always nice to read a really good non-rhyming poem like that. Bravo.
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Post by Rikku on Mar 24, 2008 2:34:56 GMT -5
I thought the Shoyru Scout poem was beautiful. Something very much in the style of Yeats in that first verse, which is always a good thing. Rhyming poetry seems to work best for me, my non-rhyming ones don't tend to get in, so it's always nice to read a really good non-rhyming poem like that. Bravo. Thank you so much! The kind words are appreciated. |
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Post by Clocky: Activity is a Thing on Mar 24, 2008 3:06:33 GMT -5
Meh... I hate posting my poetry and such on... anywhere. xD; Do you think I should post my Sophie the Swamp Witch poem? |
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Post by Dice on Mar 24, 2008 6:04:18 GMT -5
Yes, post it, Clockwork. We'd like to see it. I bet your poetry is nowhere near as bad as you think ^_^
...like yours, Puffin. That's such a great poem. Seriously. I love the second-to-last stanza. Ease up on yourself a bit, because your poetry is excellent (and I'm a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to reading poetry).
Thanks, Anjie! (Or would you like to be called Sky? I can't tell.) *skips off to resubmit*
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Post by Clocky: Activity is a Thing on Mar 24, 2008 6:23:08 GMT -5
Nah, I don't think I'll post this one. xD
Well... back to work on about 80,000 different things.
... *BLEEP* akjslajsdlkajsdlasj. [X_____x;;]
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Post by Dice on Mar 24, 2008 6:27:13 GMT -5
Nah, I don't think I'll post this one. xD Well... back to work on about 80,000 different things. ... *BLEEP* akjslajsdlkajsdlasj. [X_____x;;] I have a ton of stuff to work on too. And, y'know, schoolwork XD Well, break-work, I suppose. Oddly enough, all my Neo poetry is rhyming. All my real-world poetry, at least this year, has been free poetry. Weird. |
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Post by Anjie on Mar 24, 2008 9:01:31 GMT -5
Sky is fine. : )
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Post by Diana on Mar 24, 2008 10:01:46 GMT -5
Sky it is. I can never make a poem of over five stanzas that's any good. I don't know why. |
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I might add another stanza, though.
