285 Reviews -- April 1st Issue!

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micrody said:

Ah, I see, thanks for telling me. :)

I have no idea who the GUP leader is or if there even is one true "leader." My idea would be that you wouldn't necessarily need their permission unless you are explicitly going to make it that individual.

You're welcome. :)

No, I'm just going to make a bit of a satire on the GUP in general. none of their members in specific will be featured.

[retired]

Doop! Almost forgot! >_<'

Goosh, as it turns out I already read your article without realizing you were the author, so I could have reviewed it yesterday. ^.^' I just got so caught up in finishing #4 that I ran out of time and didn't realize I'd read your story already until today. My bad. *pleaseforgiveme!bows* Huba can be a smidgen slow. -_-'

Anyways, here it is:

I heart Smelly! :3 Had the F**r** W*rs been real, I probably would have wound up joining her. ^_^
The story was interesting, and Smelly's idea to get in a push for peace by infiltrating the water faeries was funny. I especially enjoyed when she went to buy the costume; I was thinking "What's she gonna do?! What's she gonna do?!!" It also made sense to go to the water faeries first, since by convincing them not to attack, they'd be safely removed from the war (seeing as they have such good defense). I laughed at the very end when Well threatened to "sic the cadets" on her.

[Deleted]

The Secret Diary of Danner Carnahan by nimras23
I never read the Secret Diary of Jeran Borodere, so, hmm, this'll be interesting. ^_^

I really, really enjoyed reading this, Nimras! You jumped straight into the action, so I was hooked from the get-go and couldn't look away. Sure, sometimes in the past your story's have begun slowly, but definitely not this one! The characterization of Danner was awesomely done and very well-illustrated - it was all great! I particularly loved his worrying about his screaming, I mean, his not screaming. The only room for improvement I saw was that you could have timed and dated the entries, but that isn't much, to be honest.

In all, this has definitely got to be one of my favorite short stories of yours that I've read!


The Secret Diary of Laurana Rose- READ IT AND DIE! by reasonably_crazy
Secret diaries must be popular. :P I like your note to not read it, or die. *snicker*

The entire thing was written well and incredibly more entertaining than I had been expecting it to be, which is a good thing, of course. Some parts had a bit more nonstandard English than I usually enjoy in stories, but your sparing use of it added a lot to Laurana/Lennie's character (though can't Lauren be a guy's name, too? *tilts head*). There's really not much else to say of this, to be honest, though I found your end incredibly suiting to the story and it closed things off wonderfully.


The Elderly Delinquents: Rumble at Roo Oaks by simsman24000
This was an incredibly funny story!!!!!

The beginning was a nice draw-in, but it started getting confusing when I realized there were three speakers, not two. I had then imagined the story would focus on the grandchild, but I guess I was wrong (I should pay more attention to titles, it seems), but I'm glad for that, because it was hilarious without him. :) I about died at the Interrupting Kau scene. I just could...not...stop...laughing! Your rather abrupt ending was simply wonderful, as well, very fitting and definitely finite.

As a whole, looking at this from another angle, you really developed your characters, made them incredibly human. In fact, I could imagine them to be a handful of elderly people that I know, maybe even my own grandparents in a few years (...or months)! That, of course, is just awesome. You also employed a great choice of wording and quite a flair for choosing names, all of which I applaud. This was definitely a wonderful story.

Manny’s cakes falling to the ground and Jerry’s cane accompanying it.

"It" should have been "them" to match with the plural "cakes."

I loved your last story, "The Completely Brief Comprehensive History of Neopia," and I loved this one. (Perhaps, even, the wait for your next one won't be as long as the wait for this one was. ^_^)

[Belle]

Aww...the thread's gone. ^^; And I haven't fully read it in its entirety, too.

micrody said:

It's a shame a Google search now finds this thread... *sigh* Next year, safeguards will need to be put up then (maybe the Admin's could hide the joke's discussion thread and censor direct references to it?).

F***** W***: Tactics by ladyariel32
I support Light. Now, where can I get one of those spiffy banners? lol.

Seriously, this article was a perfect piece to help get the word out about the plot-- this article alone would have been enough to convince me! The "information" was presented without flaw and in an incredibly entertaining manner. The Faeries, though not in the article themselves, were brilliantly colored and their attitudes and personalities were flawlessly transferred to the reader, I feel.

I had a great time reading this: it was well-written, enjoyable, and, well, informative!

Thanks for the review, Wolf. I'm glad you found it enjoyable.

People are still sending me mail (I've cleared my Inbox twice, I bet Kitty's still being barraged, too). I'm tempted to block Neomails for a while but I don't want to miss out on anything. XD

micrody said:

F***** W***: Which Side To Choose? by kittygirl5170
The beginning of this article, as well as the order in which the Faeries were named, was almost identical to that of the proceeding one. Both had their unique points, though, which was great, yet, for me, they seemed too similar to suspend my disbelief if I were merely a casual reader reading them both. I know this likely wasn't intentional, but for all the parties involved, it could have been watched for better, I feel.

I'm not sure I get what you mean, Wolf.
Could you explain some more? (Sorry, my brain's barely functioning )

I actually read Kitty's article first before doing mine (mine was a late addition -_- and I did the Faeries in the same order for credibility. As for the introduction, I deliberately explained what's happening, too, despite knowing it was already in Kitty's article. I thought it was important that they said the same thing.

[Komori]

I wish I knew who deleted the thread and why they did that, rather than moving it to a password protected board or some such. *crosses arms*

[Deleted]

ladyariel32 said:

micrody said:

F***** W***: Which Side To Choose? by kittygirl5170
The beginning of this article, as well as the order in which the Faeries were named, was almost identical to that of the proceeding one. Both had their unique points, though, which was great, yet, for me, they seemed too similar to suspend my disbelief if I were merely a casual reader reading them both. I know this likely wasn't intentional, but for all the parties involved, it could have been watched for better, I feel.

I'm not sure I get what you mean, Wolf.
Could you explain some more? (Sorry, my brain's barely functioning )

I actually read Kitty's article first before doing mine (mine was a late addition -_- and I did the Faeries in the same order for credibility. As for the introduction, I deliberately explained what's happening, too, despite knowing it was already in Kitty's article. I thought it was important that they said the same thing.

You're quite welcome for the review. ^_^

The beginning of both articles, I understand, needed an introduction explaining the plot, so in case someone read the one before the other, they'd still get it. I got that. *nods* But the feeling I got was that the introductions were too similar, and it felt to me like they were almost word-for-word imitations of each other. I know it wasn't quite like that, but that's how it felt to a reader...or at least me.

My point about the suspension of disbelief was that, if I were merely a casual reader knowing no better, not an NTWFer privy to the prank, I'd likely get suspicious as to the credibility of the articles and their notions about the new plot because of the incredible parallel structure and comparative similarities of the two pieces, most notably in the beginnings (had it not been for the beginnings sounding so incredibly similar, the order in which the Faeries had appeared in them would've likely not seemed important to me).

I hope that makes what I had meant more understandable.

And, please mind you, I in no way mean it as an insult, as both articles were incredibly well-written.

[Reasie]

ghostkomori said:

I wish I knew who deleted the thread and why they did that, rather than moving it to a password protected board or some such. *crosses arms*

Seconded. My only source for my article has been liquidated. *sad*

[Belle]

micrody said:

ladyariel32 said:

I'm not sure I get what you mean, Wolf.
Could you explain some more? (Sorry, my brain's barely functioning )

I actually read Kitty's article first before doing mine (mine was a late addition -_- and I did the Faeries in the same order for credibility. As for the introduction, I deliberately explained what's happening, too, despite knowing it was already in Kitty's article. I thought it was important that they said the same thing.

You're quite welcome for the review. ^_^

The beginning of both articles, I understand, needed an introduction explaining the plot, so in case someone read the one before the other, they'd still get it. I got that. *nods* But the feeling I got was that the introductions were too similar, and it felt to me like they were almost word-for-word imitations of each other. I know it wasn't quite like that, but that's how it felt to a reader...or at least me.

My point about the suspension of disbelief was that, if I were merely a casual reader knowing no better, not an NTWFer privy to the prank, I'd likely get suspicious as to the credibility of the articles and their notions about the new plot because of the incredible parallel structure and comparative similarities of the two pieces, most notably in the beginnings (had it not been for the beginnings sounding so incredibly similar, the order in which the Faeries had appeared in them would've likely not seemed important to me).

I hope that makes what I had meant more understandable.

And, please mind you, I in no way mean it as an insult, as both articles were incredibly well-written.

Thanks for explaining, Wolf. Now I get it.

I see what you mean about my introduction (hehe...the ball is basically in my court because no one got to read my article until it was published). I'm suddenly glad most Neopians didn't think to examine our articles in that light.

And I still wish I could see our thread again. Is it gone...forever?

[retired]

Poor Reasie. You're article is till very good, though!

I agree! I really liked that board too. Poopie, now I can't go look at all the pretty ref. pictures any more. ;_; A password for protection would have been much better, because then any members who wanted to see it could PM an admin and go check it out. Big-time bummer. -_-'

[Deleted]

Smelly Protests by goosher
Off the bat, a lot of things were happening. It read a bit like chaos to me, but it was organised enough for the first few sentences to serve as a good hook, but adding to that visual with the bit about the Light Faerie base seemed to break it up and make it confusing.

Past the opening, though, this story was rather flawless-- it was great! I wasn't able to turn away, and I could vividly see the events as they happened. I loved the attack pea line, and had it not been for Ebil's, I bet it would have been quote of the week! It was just that hilarious!

The buildup to the end was suspenseful and put me on the edge of my seat. The conclusion, though, was anticlimactic, and greatly so. But that's what made it so doggone great! ^_^

Goosh, I've now read all three of your stories (all five if I count the collab and the comic) and I've definitely seen your writing improve. I await your next piece - I'm sure it'll be another awesome story. :)


Welcome To Monday by tazmanianunicorn
You had a wonderful hook. The philosophy behind it was quite provocative, too, and I liked that.

The story itself was amazing. I laughed at some parts, but although this story felt comedic, it felt equally as much if not more so serious, and that was great - it definitely was an entertaining thing to read and I quite enjoyed it. The fact that this was practically written in the second-person is simply amazing - I honestly hadn't realised that it was written so until the end, and then I thought, "Hey, this was second-person! And my teacher said readers usually get deterred by second-person early on. I say, 'Psh.'"

The ending wasn't big. But it was fitting. And the best endings are those that fit best. ^_^


A Negg Tale by evilhamster13
I really enjoyed reading this story--I was laughing the entire way through it! It's really no wonder you got the quote of the week, you should know. ^_^ The characters were all balanced out, and that was quite good. The plot was rather straightforward, but it was enjoyable to read. I really liked this story, of course, definitely. Great job.

Wisp opened her mouth, closed her mouth, and then sighed and picked up a magazine (“Neopian Living”, Month of Swimming, Y2.)

This sentence seems to be missing end punctuation.

Unfortunately, the hand she used was covered with grease from the Fruity Snack-um Grease Chipz offered on the boat from Mystery Island to Terror Mountain.

Should've had Pringles.

“Anyway, now. do you see the picture?”

That "do" needed to be capitalized or the period before it needed to be a comma.

“Hmm. Interesting,” said the TNF

Isn't that being a bit redundant, "the The egg Faerie"?

Anyways, typos regardless, I quite enjoyed this story - it was awesome!

[Reasie]

hubadawaha said:

Poor Reasie. You're article is till very good, though!

I agree! I really liked that board too. Poopie, now I can't go look at all the pretty ref. pictures any more. ;_; A password for protection would have been much better, because then any members who wanted to see it could PM an admin and go check it out. Big-time bummer. -_-'

It seems to be pretty gone. :/ Maybe it'll show up tomorrow, when life is less upside-down.

[Tam]

reasonablycrazy said:

ghostkomori said:

I wish I knew who deleted the thread and why they did that, rather than moving it to a password protected board or some such. *crosses arms*

Seconded. My only source for my article has been liquidated. *sad*

When I saw it missing from the Collabs board, I automatically went to Memory Lane, but no luck there. It's a shame; I think it was an incredible example of NTWF teamwork. Now no one else can have the experience of reading through it again.

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A Million Little Unis: The Green Uni Controversy by brains03~
Very informative while still entertaining. I'm glad you wrote this, because it's tough to filter through all the attention seekers and find the true motivations of GUPers. Your side note at the end was very thought provoking.

[Deleted]

One more comic I spotted first...
And the Meepits Outgrabe by kittylin
I love it - it's such a little boy reaction, and the expression on Miles' fac is wonderful!

Articles
A Million Little Unis: The Green Uni Controversy by brains03
I thought you wrote this very well, giving both sides of the arguement, and it was an interesting twist having Sloth giving words of wisdom!
The only bit that I thought didn't feel right was when you're interviewing Mr Sock and you say "The article has already explained..." That just didn't feel right because you interview someone to get materiel for an article, you don't write the article and then stop halfway to go and find someone to interview - if you do that you might find half of what you're written is wrong!
Aside from that though, I think it was well-written and it would be useful for anyone who was wondering what GUPing was.

Short Stories
The Secret Diary of Laurana Rose- READ IT AND DIE! by reasonably_crazy
I really really enjoyed this! I love the bit where she's in awe because she's glowing. It was a fun story and I could really picture Laurana while I was reading it. Well done

Welcome To Monday by tazmanianunicorn
Okay, I did enjoy this story, especially the continuing thread of blue-glowy-handed-singed-fur-pet. It's a good original idea too. Couple of nitpicks though.

Listen to the name. MONDAY. You know Sunday is good because everyone who's not Count Von Roo loves the sun. Plus it rhymes with funday and even Count Von Roo loves fun.

This just didn't sit right because Monday rhymes with funday too (unless you're Jamaican, when you do actually hear the 'o' as an 'o' and not an 'uh').

The only other nitpick was that I didn't like the last little bit - I thought the story would have been better just finishing with the 'anything sounds better than MONDAY.' line.

More later...work calls...

[Huntress]

reasonablycrazy said:

hubadawaha said:

Poor Reasie. You're article is till very good, though!

I agree! I really liked that board too. Poopie, now I can't go look at all the pretty ref. pictures any more. ;_; A password for protection would have been much better, because then any members who wanted to see it could PM an admin and go check it out. Big-time bummer. -_-'

It seems to be pretty gone. :/ Maybe it'll show up tomorrow, when life is less upside-down.

And so it has. Blame Malak the evil haxxor-overlord. Guess he didn't like the idea of having something so big and April-Fools-related floating around the forum while he was trying to take this place over x3

Sending it to Memory Lane is a good idea though, IMO. It's in the collabs board right now, so if anyone would like to add anything there to conclude the show, do it now and then turn to a mod with more power than yours truly here to have it moved.

To stick to the topic, I'ma try and get some reviews done later this week. There shouldn't be too much work for me coming up these days.