|
|
Post by Nimras on Feb 7, 2007 15:52:02 GMT -5
Legend Seekers: Mysterious Magic - Part Threeby yatomiyuka Ohhh… Lisa is in trouble…. Hmm, it will be interesting to see what exactly these kidnappers have against the Faeries, and why they think Pemero alone can help them. Jen’s going to have an interesting time of it too, I bet. 
|
|
|
|
Post by sarahleeadvent on Feb 7, 2007 16:14:26 GMT -5
Thanks for the review, Nim! I'd been starting to think my story had completely slipped beneath the NTWF radar. Yes, I did draw the custom myself; I'm not sure why the TNT decided not to give me the credit for my picture. I fully intend to ask about that every week until they do, because I'd like to use other versions of that picture in various contests, and their oversight could get me iced.
As for the spelling of Galgarroth's name, (sorry, I'm not sure how to make a quote box) I just chose the one I liked best.
Anyway, I'm glad you like Tenultra, especially considering the fact that I've got two more stories written about her, one partly written, and five or so planned. ^_^
|
|
|
|
Post by ummagine3284 on Feb 7, 2007 20:40:33 GMT -5
[glow=blue,2,300] The Adventures of Trina: The Return of the Staff – Part One[/glow] This’ll be interesting… I like how you introduced Trina, starting with the dream and going on into Neoschool. The brief introduction at the start of the story became a little awkward in its wording towards the end, but I appreciate your outlining what I think might be the Brucey B plot for those of us who, like me, haven’t read it. This should be “as a result, the”. It strikes me as a bit unlikely that someone could walk from Neopia Central through the Haunted Woods and into the Lost Desert within two hours, but perhaps Wockies are more swift-footed than I thought. I’ve never thought of Scarabugs as having furry backs.  They have a shell and two feathery wings:  The story moved along pretty quickly. Some of the wording made me think twice, but in all this looks like a promising start to an adventure. You’ve mentioned plenty of things to make me wonder how it all comes together. Thanks for the review! About the furry Scarabug thing, the old version looked more 'furry', but then it was redrawn and I forgot to edit that part. Let's just say its wings are furry. Something I was going to clear up but didn't so I could save it for a future Advertures of Trina series: they take trains. Sorry I didn't give any hints.  Brucey B and the Lucky Coin: www.neopets.com/desert/plot.phtml |
|
|
|
Post by Kat on Feb 9, 2007 11:53:08 GMT -5
Another Hero's Journey: Part Fourby precious_katuch14 Wow.  Everyone just a little jumpy? *snicker* Bypass: Noun. From the word “by-passage.” 1) A highway or section of a highway that passes around an obstructed or congested area. 2) A pipe or channel used to conduct gas or liquid around another pipe or a fixture. 3) A means of circumvention. 4) To skip a link in the chain of command. Unless Rohane managed to avoid them entirely when he was supposed to meet them/travel with them, I think maybe ‘passed’ or ‘met’ would have made more sense there. Poor Melissa… When Ruben gets back she needs to beat him within an inch of his life. [shadow=purple,left,300]Thanks, Nimras! And yes, you're giving Melissa ideas. XD[/shadow] |
|
|
|
Post by Nut on Feb 9, 2007 13:39:59 GMT -5
Erk, lots of reading to do here. I don’t like to leave parts dangling so I’ve told myself I’m going to catch up on missed reviews. This may take a while. Continued Series[glow=blue,2,300] The Mirror of Memories: Part One[/glow] The first few paragraphs give a distinct sense that Aina is a bit of a brat. They’re nicely characterized, even if they don’t leave the most positive first impression. And she wins back favor for the pink fuzzy slippers.  The part about the book moved slowly considering it was nearly the first paragraph. The first few paragraphs weren’t really grabbing, but the pace picked up when the fuzzy slippers came in. Fuzzy slippers liven up everything. ^^ I want to know how they guessed that… I like the little exchange about names, and the part about how Lawne is pronounced was nice. ^^ Ooh, mysterious mirror… it looks like Aina’s in for an adventure of some sort. [glow=blue,2,300] The Mirror of Memories: Part Two[/glow] Uh oh, is Kin going to be included on whatever excursion this mirror takes Aina on? That run through the rain outside sounded awful unpleasant. Aina’s parents are pretty dismissive to just foist the responsibility off onto their little daughter like that. Come to think of it, they haven’t seen her or Kin since they sent her off. I wonder if they’ll notice if the mirror keeps both of them delayed? Ooh, a mysterious journal. ^^ Something tells me Aina would be better off not witnessing what happened to Malin, if that’s what she intends to do. I’m interested to see this mirror work its magic. ^^ __________ [glow=blue,2,300] Sword of the Shapeshifter: Part One[/glow] *adds Rising Shadow to her to-read list* Aw, the author’s note is sweet. ^^ Lovely job of describing the atmosphere and the scenery, and introducing the character all in the first sentence. ^^ Wow, they’re in a bad spot. Mysterious disappearances, tension and uncertainty… the perfect backdrop to an adventure. The action moves quickly, remarkably so considering it’s the first part of the story, and you create a nice mood. I like this line. ^^ The last line of the chapter was chilling and interest-provoking. I believe I’ll enjoy this series. ^^ [glow=blue,2,300] Sword of the Shapeshifter: Part Two[/glow] Oh dear, Vex is in trouble. Tenultra seems like a fun character. ^^ I especially like this line: Having Tenultra turn Ghost was an interesting show of her shapeshifter powers. ^^ Especially since you described her as a “feline wraith” earlier. The adventure’s progressing quickly; I’m really interested to see where it goes. ^^ |
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 10, 2007 11:48:32 GMT -5
Thanks for the review- I appreciate it!  (Twist of Fate) |
|
retired
Talkative Reader
I'm thankful I got the chance to meet all of you.
Posts: 364
|
Post by retired on Feb 10, 2007 22:11:53 GMT -5
"The Bunker" by hubadawaha I really enjoy the format of this comic, with the arrows and scrolls giving the reader soething to do. I really hope this is continued, but I felt you didn't really introduce the characters deeply. Still, overall, I loved this comic, and I eagerly await the sequel. "The Turmaculus seems to be napping in our wall." XD Thanks. ^_^ Originally it was just white text on a black background, but that was too boring. I'll probably use the scrolls again later on, and the arrows are likely to be in nearly every comic. ^_^ I'll admit, the characters were downplayed, but that was so I didn't take the edge off the joke. |
|
retired
Talkative Reader
I'm thankful I got the chance to meet all of you.
Posts: 364
|
Post by retired on Feb 10, 2007 22:13:18 GMT -5
Welcome to the NTWF! I'll be glad to review your comic. :)
The Bunker by hubadawaha
The introduction seemed a bit long-winded to me, though I tend to prefer faster-paced comics anyways. The artwork was really nice and the lines were all smooth. And I liked the joke; it made me laugh.[/quote]
Yeah, the intro was a bit too long. Thanks for the compliments, though! ^_^
|
|
|
|
Post by Nut on Feb 11, 2007 9:21:02 GMT -5
[glow=blue,2,300] Legend Seekers: Mysterious Magic – Part One[/glow] Jen’s all right! If only Pemero knew that… This is really nicely written, and brings up several mysteries to grab the reader’s curiosity. The dream scene was good—it seemed so real at first and then it faded into nightmarish qualities. I’m a little confused, but intrigued, about the paper—at first it seemed it was just another element of the dream, but then it looked like Pemero actually had the paper. I’m curious about what it says. [glow=blue,2,300] Legend Seekers: Mysterious Magic – Part Two[/glow] This part flowed very smoothly, one event just blending into the next. Pemero’s kidnapping was quite a surprise—it took me a moment to realize that we were looking at the scene from the kidnapper’s perspective when he was sneaking up on Pemero, but I figured it out pretty quickly. I’m liking poor confused Jen’s character. I feel sorry for Pemero, lost in wistful dreams. Reading about each of them through their own perspectives, I feel like everything would be right if they could just find each other again. But I’m guessing that won’t happen for a while. I’m not quite sure why the royals in Meridell connected Jen with the Mystery Island disaster, aside from their superstitions about her and her strange method of arrival. There’s a certain irony to Jen being released just as Pemero is taken captive. [glow=blue,2,300] Legend Seekers: Mysterious Magic – Part Three[/glow] The adventure’s progressing. I felt this chapter was mainly setup, but it was interesting nevertheless, and I think we’re about to get a glimpse of the real issue at hand. I’m eager to see what happens. The writing, of course, is lovely and smooth. You do a great job of switching cleanly between perspectives. I like how he says that so matter-of-factly, as if the broom cupboard is just the most obvious place to keep someone you’ve just kidnapped. I do wonder why the broom cupboard would be Faerie-proof, but I assume that’s their own magic at work. I’m curious why the kidnappers have a grudge against faeries, and I’m quite interested to see where all the characters are going to end up in the next part, what with Jen taking off in a boat and Pemero going along with his kidnappers. |
|
|
|
Post by Nut on Feb 11, 2007 12:57:12 GMT -5
[glow=blue,2,300] Another Hero’s Journey: Part One[/glow] Yay, the long-awaited sequel to AHJ! And starring Reuben! Poor Reuben. Staying home and taking care of your mother is nothing to be ashamed of—Reuben’s basically the man of the house now. Too bad those village pets don’t think of that. Aww, I feel sorry for Reuben and Melissa, trying to rebuild their scattered household. They’re both very good characters and their sadness is well displayed. I get a good sense of Reuben’s resentment towards his brother’s heroic image among the villagers. Poor guy. [glow=blue,2,300] Another Hero’s Journey: Part Two[/glow] Wow, the display of character in here is just great. Reuben is a very real character, and you understand his struggles with himself perfectly. It’s easy to relate to him. Melissa is also a really good character. It’s so easy to imagine they’re both real. I like the scene with Reuben chopping vegetables. Not much happened here in the way of events, but the character development that took place was beautiful. [glow=blue,2,300] Another Hero’s Journey: Part Three[/glow] No, Reuben, don’t go! Melissa needs you! Well, it looks like the adventure’s just beginning. The scene where Reuben’s escaping from the house is nice, lightened by the descriptions of his mother’s “comical” pose. So close to home and Reuben’s already run into trouble. I wonder how he’s going to manage to find his brother. [glow=blue,2,300] Another Hero’s Journey: Part Four[/glow] With the exception of the awkward little time detail that Wolf pointed out, the first few paragraphs were very nice. Waking up all alone with a storm going on outside… poor Melissa. This sentence probably got mixed up in editing. It seemed that every time a character was introduced here, there was a whole paragraph of description of their clothing to go along with it. I might’ve preferred it if you’d done that gradually as the clothing was relevant (i.e. “Her many silver charm bracelets shook as she extended her hand”, or something to that effect, so that we see why we’re being told about these clothes); otherwise it’s a bit overwhelming. Nevertheless, this part held my interest, and Miss Olivia is quite an interesting character. I’m really intrigued by her suggestion to Reuben. I wonder what else his destiny could be? Staying at home with Melissa? XD |
|
|
|
Post by Kat on Feb 12, 2007 7:39:58 GMT -5
[glow=blue,2,300] Another Hero’s Journey: Part One[/glow] Yay, the long-awaited sequel to AHJ! And starring Reuben! Poor Reuben. Staying home and taking care of your mother is nothing to be ashamed of—Reuben’s basically the man of the house now. Too bad those village pets don’t think of that. Aww, I feel sorry for Reuben and Melissa, trying to rebuild their scattered household. They’re both very good characters and their sadness is well displayed. I get a good sense of Reuben’s resentment towards his brother’s heroic image among the villagers. Poor guy. [glow=blue,2,300] Another Hero’s Journey: Part Two[/glow] Wow, the display of character in here is just great. Reuben is a very real character, and you understand his struggles with himself perfectly. It’s easy to relate to him. Melissa is also a really good character. It’s so easy to imagine they’re both real. I like the scene with Reuben chopping vegetables. Not much happened here in the way of events, but the character development that took place was beautiful. [glow=blue,2,300] Another Hero’s Journey: Part Three[/glow] No, Reuben, don’t go! Melissa needs you! Well, it looks like the adventure’s just beginning. The scene where Reuben’s escaping from the house is nice, lightened by the descriptions of his mother’s “comical” pose. So close to home and Reuben’s already run into trouble. I wonder how he’s going to manage to find his brother. [glow=blue,2,300] Another Hero’s Journey: Part Four[/glow] With the exception of the awkward little time detail that Wolf pointed out, the first few paragraphs were very nice. Waking up all alone with a storm going on outside… poor Melissa. This sentence probably got mixed up in editing. It seemed that every time a character was introduced here, there was a whole paragraph of description of their clothing to go along with it. I might’ve preferred it if you’d done that gradually as the clothing was relevant (i.e. “Her many silver charm bracelets shook as she extended her hand”, or something to that effect, so that we see why we’re being told about these clothes); otherwise it’s a bit overwhelming. Nevertheless, this part held my interest, and Miss Olivia is quite an interesting character. I’m really intrigued by her suggestion to Reuben. I wonder what else his destiny could be? Staying at home with Melissa? XD [shadow=purple,left,300]So that was the double negative Wolf was talking about. XD And thanks for the four-chapter review! ^_^[/shadow] |
|
|
|
Post by Nut on Feb 12, 2007 16:38:06 GMT -5
*has put color in her reviews on discovering that the blue glow doesn't show up in Firefox*
[glow=blue,2,300]Chronicles of the Court Rogue: Jealousy – Part One[/glow]
I’m so bad… I’ve been eagerly following this series and not reviewing it. ><; I must redeem myself. *will write the reviews as if she doesn’t know what happens in the next part*
Your writing is amazing—even in just these opening conversations, I see your witty lines and talent for dialogue and character. ^^ The first time I read this, however, it took me a moment to wrap my mind around what had happened. Mareian, a Countess? It’s fitting that she’d take a position like that, but what a surprise! I look forward to seeing Countess Mareian shape up that land. *chuckle*
…I love this line. ;D I feel his plight. XDD
How many romantic pairings do you manage to slip into your stories? I look forward to seeing how things go with Lisha and Rolan (knowing you, it’ll probably work out nicely, and just graze the NT boundaries in the process). Though I still think of Lisha as a kid, and judging from Rolan’s reaction this isn’t going to be quite as serious as Mareian and Jeran.
[glow=blue,2,300]Chronicles of the Court Rogue: Jealousy – Part Two[/glow]
Things began happening in this part, setting a nice pace for the story. Ooh… it would be interesting to see a conflict between Jules and Jeran. Their behavior in this part combined with the title makes me want to see what happens next between them. Jules is a nice annoying villain, someone you can enjoy hating.
*laughs* I could imagine him making it up himself, come to think of it.
I love these realistic details you include in your stories. It’s informative and adds to the high realism of your stories.
The theft of the relics was a startling twist to the end of the chapter. I look forward to seeing where it goes.
[glow=blue,2,300]Chronicles of the Court Rogue: Jealousy – Part Three [/glow]
This part progressed quite smoothly. For some reason, the part with Lady Annis seemed to go a little slowly, but just as I was starting to notice it, they found the keys and we were swept up into the next part of the chapter.
*chuckle*
I loved the whole scene of going out and all the preparations that went into it, and their talk about how Rolan isn’t suited for imitating a countryman. It was really enjoyable to read.
I was a little confused about the shadows in the alleyway at first, but I figured out eventually that they were other thieves. Don’t mind me, I’m really slow. ^^;
I always wondered if that would cause problems. At least this Mynci seems to still be loyal to Mareian.
[glow=blue,2,300]Chronicles of the Court Rogue: Jealousy – Part Four[/glow]
Mareian in a corset and hoops? Scary. XD
And you get many points for using the word “defenestrated”. ;D
Aww, Rolan acts so cute around Lisha. XD Their method of keeping him occupied for the day was sweet.
The gem show was very interesting. Jules’ romantic descriptions of the gems were beautiful. ^^
[glow=blue,2,300]Chronicles of the Court Rogue: Jealousy – Part Five[/glow]
I love how Mareian calmly lets slip that she drugged Jules.
This chapter seemed to be mainly setting up the next one, but it’ll definitely be interesting to see whether they find the relics or not, and how Mareian’s bad feeling plays out.
|
|
|
|
Post by Nut on Feb 12, 2007 18:41:43 GMT -5
Whoops, missed a comic.
[glow=blue,2,300]The Bunker[/glow]
I was a little surprised that this was a one-panel comic considering it had such a long introduction. I was kind of preparing myself for a longer story, but the comic, when it finally did come, was funny. ^^ “Giant Petpet-eating potato”… hehe. ^^
I like the details you put into the background in the last panel. ^^ The drawing of the Turmaculus buried in the wall is great. XD
--
Only one series left to review... then I can start on this week's reviews... @_@
|
|
|
|
Post by Nut on Feb 13, 2007 17:36:09 GMT -5
[glow=blue,2,300] Revisited: Complete Series[/glow] This was an entertaining spooky series. ^^ The daydreams in particular were interesting. When I saw the first one, I wasn’t sure if Jenny was imagining it or not, but as the story went on I began to watch eagerly for the start and end of the scenes. (Italics would’ve made that clearer, for futute reference.  I enjoyed the quick rate that eerie events and discoveries came up, and the Usul humor was fun. XD “The pet” gets rather repetitive here. *chuckle* I was a little disappointed that the Xweetok didn’t turn out to be a bad guy, what with how suspicious she was acting. But I guess being weird isn’t a crime, unfortunately. I like how he doesn’t outright say that they’re locked. As if he doesn’t know for sure. The way you would end chapters in the middle of sentences was rather disturbing. How very cruel of you. What was the secret? Overexposure to mirrors can turn you Mutant? *ponders* I liked that the ghosts were involved in the end, though it all wrapped up rather quickly. To be honest, there were a couple of things I was still confused about, such as how the mutants (which I assume had to do with the secret?) tied into everything. The ending lines were a nice reflection on the beginning, though. ^^ |
|
|
|
Post by Nimras on Feb 14, 2007 23:58:20 GMT -5
Yes, I know these are late. Blame my all over the place personal life right now. The Gallion Ranchby pacmanite Heh, very cute idea. I admit I’m a little confused why the pets are still beat up in the last panel… I had thought it was just symbolic at first... Unless they get really into putting those cards down on the table. I love the dramatic second to last panel. No Comment: Crossoverby tirilia *snort* The things people think of with a can of blue paint and a baby Pteri… The little sweat drop is a nice touch to show that the egg isn’t some inanimate object unaware of what she’s doing to it. The bubbling pool of green stuff looks rather … menacing. Results May Varyby return_of_itsy …I’ve had that conversation with kids before. I like how each of the panels is in a different color. Somehow it helps with the ‘mood’ of each one. And I adore the Grundo’s expression in the last panel. |
|
They have a shell and two feathery wings: 
Everyone just a little jumpy? 
(Twist of Fate)
I enjoyed the quick rate that eerie events and discoveries came up, and the Usul humor was fun. XD