Issue 258 Reviews

[Deleted]

ssjelitegirl said:

Poison Doll

Ooh, I could smell an intriguing story as soon as I read the title, despite the fact that Neo phails at giving stories matching pictures - which is why I've started illustrating mine - and an intriguing story it was. Slaine's worry for her grandmamma set the mood and it continued throughout the story. The title kept the storyline a bit predictable though, Poison Doll hinted both to the illnesses and the nature of the Faerie Doll but as I already mentioned, it was a good and catchy title so there wasn't much to be changed there... There could've been some insight into how the granny got the poisoned doll, but maybe it's just me. And some insight into the salt mote's purpose would've been nice as well.
As for the grammatical side, I couldn't help but to be kinda bothered by the pronouns. You used either "she" or "Slaine" which got a little one-sided in the end. There would've been atleast the words "yellow Aisha" and "Neopet" to add a little variety... But still, all in all, I enjoyed that story :3

Thanks for the review, Huntress!

As for the origins of the doll...Demona bought it and brought it home shortly before she fell ill, but I didn't see a place where adding that would seem proper. Better left a mystery, I guessed.

And the salt mote goes all the way back to the times of superstitions and has nothing to do with Neopets at all, other than the fact that the ONLY item containing SALT in Neoptes is the salt mote. You see, it is common knowledge (I think...) that cursed items be covered in salt and buried off you property to remove a curse. I figured delving too far into that would likely get the story rejected, but for those who understand that little bit, it was small bonus.

[Deleted]

Continued Series! What some may call the pinnacle of the Times - serial novels!
^{Not to be confused with cereal novels, which are just fun to eat! ^_^}

Needed Adventure: Part Five by tdyans
Another awesome part, Tdyans! There really isn't much more I feel compelled to say, except that I can't wait for the next part to come out!

Beauty of the Snow: Part Two by extreme_fj0rd
If Neopets are equal to humans, and Kaus are Neopets...how do you get Kau Milk? And is there a difference between Kau Milk and Kau Kau Milk?

Your use of "the other" to refer to the Aisha caught me off guard for a moment, when it was first used, and then it just seemed...odd, thought I can't say why exactly.

First words! How amazing. Only three. It totally caught me by surprise.

So...in conclusion, though not much happened in this part, I enjoyed it, much more than the first. I think the characters were easy to understand (what little of them there is to try to understand, that is), and things were mechanically sound, which made the reading easier. I enjoyed reading this, and I truly await part three.

I am simply confused...as to why this was published now, and not closer to winter...

[Tam]

I fail at review threads. Thanks so much to every one who commented on Ice's and my collab comic, and gave advice and suggestions. n;D I'll try to take them all to heart when I draw another comic.

Oh, and I just have to say that I'm glad you actually admitted that the layout was crowded and confusing, instead of being all kind and saying, "It's very nice. Good job." 'Cause it is confusing. I might have hurt Ice's head. ;__;

[Fj0rd]

micrody said:

Continued Series! What some may call the pinnacle of the Times - serial novels!
^{Not to be confused with cereal novels, which are just fun to eat! ^_^}

Needed Adventure: Part Five by tdyans
Another awesome part, Tdyans! There really isn't much more I feel compelled to say, except that I can't wait for the next part to come out!

Beauty of the Snow: Part Two by extreme_fj0rd
If Neopets are equal to humans, and Kaus are Neopets...how do you get Kau Milk? And is there a difference between Kau Milk and Kau Kau Milk?

Your use of "the other" to refer to the Aisha caught me off guard for a moment, when it was first used, and then it just seemed...odd, thought I can't say why exactly.

First words! How amazing. Only three. It totally caught me by surprise.

So...in conclusion, though not much happened in this part, I enjoyed it, much more than the first. I think the characters were easy to understand (what little of them there is to try to understand, that is), and things were mechanically sound, which made the reading easier. I enjoyed reading this, and I truly await part three.

I am simply confused...as to why this was published now, and not closer to winter...

You get Kau Milk by asking the Kaus very nicely. You get Kau Kau Milk from... Kaus that are Kau Kaus. Yesss. >__> *sidles toward the door*
Anyway, yay. I'm glad you liked this part. As for why it's published now... well, I wrote it last December, it was rejected, I let it lie there for a long (long) time, and only recently, as I started to get back into Neopets and NT writing, picked it up again, reworked it, and resubmitted it. ^^ So that's... about it, really.
Thanks for the review, Writingwolf!

[Nimras]

tamiasilverwing said:

I fail at review threads. Thanks so much to every one who commented on Ice's and my collab comic, and gave advice and suggestions. I'll try to take them all to heart when I draw another comic.

Oh, and I just have to say that I'm glad you actually admitted that the layout was crowded and confusing, instead of being all kind and saying, "It's very nice. Good job." 'Cause it is confusing. I might have hurt Ice's head. ;__;

I actually didn't find the layout of your comic all that confusing. Maybe it's because I read so many comics books/graphic novels when I was younger...

[Huntress]

micrody said:

And the salt mote goes all the way back to the times of superstitions and has nothing to do with Neopets at all, other than the fact that the ONLY item containing SALT in Neoptes is the salt mote. You see, it is common knowledge (I think...) that cursed items be covered in salt and buried off you property to remove a curse. I figured delving too far into that would likely get the story rejected, but for those who understand that little bit, it was small bonus.

I think I've even heard of that.... When I wrote the ancient Estonian belief of house signs into my last series, I twisted it into an ancient belief of the Bogshot people and it got through without problems x3 But I had to do that anyway because most people don't know a thing about Estonian folklore. It's all in how you present it =3

fj0rd said:

You get Kau Milk by asking the Kaus very nicely. You get Kau Kau Milk from... Kaus that are Kau Kaus. Yesss. >__> *sidles toward the door*

*Cow-and-Chicken-y mental flashback*

You know how it always goes....
Chicken (in breakfast table): *passes cereal* Milk please >.>
Cow: *takes the bowl and milks*

Wonder if it would be accepted in the Times.... xD