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Post by Nimras on Sept 25, 2006 18:26:41 GMT -5
Secrets of Neopia: 73h N0013
by ice_creema876 and Tamia_Silverwing
… You mentioned the Jelly Boards in a comic and it was accepted? I’m impressed.
For some reason, the purple haired n00b brings to mind that Cyclops girl from Futrarama… I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s the art style and the hair color.
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Post by Nimras on Sept 25, 2006 18:33:47 GMT -5
Needed Adventure: Part Five
by tdyans
Okay, first a mention of the Jelly boards and now Tdyans floors me with a Chia Cop. Man, maybe I’m writing too conservatively. Another beautiful part, of course *grin* I love the cops way of helping Enzo, my sister kept giving me odd looks as I sat in my chair giggling away.
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Post by Psycho on Sept 25, 2006 18:35:32 GMT -5
The Returnby phsycoticdancer I think I need to start this review with the author’s note… Poor Sloth followers, to be so close – yet so far. *grin* I adore Adylene, both so understandable, yet so complex. Kudos for integrating into the plot the Grundos feeling of inferiority and how the other species consider them stupid; which has honestly never really made sense to me, although I know that’s the way they are when you create them. And I love how you made Sloth repeat himself.  Thanks for the review, Nimras I kind of vision'd Adylene and she turned out to be successful - I can hardly claim to be her creator because I am just as surprised of how she came out. Just to let everyone know - I don't mind criticism. I actually REALLY want it. How could I have made this piece better? What is it about my writing style that needs work? Plotholes, any? And how about that twist at the end? Did it occur too near the end? Thanks all |
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Post by Nimras on Sept 25, 2006 18:39:54 GMT -5
Beauty of the Snow: Part Two
by extreme_fj0rd
So she does talk.
It does seem a little odd to me, how suddenly impatient Inga turned, after how patient she’d been in the first chapter, but I suppose getting mud all over one’s white carpet would do it.
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Post by Komori on Sept 25, 2006 20:59:16 GMT -5
Spookyby ghostkomorichu *snerk* I have to admit, I’ve wondered about that. Would you need a new book for every problem you solve in your math book?  …. I still haven’t figured out how he holds things… Ghost telekinisis. ^^ |
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Post by bag on Sept 26, 2006 6:32:49 GMT -5
Ahnnilator's Guide to the Care & Feeding of a Zomuttby cyneo_masters2 Ewwwww….. I have a question; did you mean Zomutt, or zomutt? Because you go back and forth throughout the article. I’m under the understanding (awkward phrasing there…) that both pet and petpet species names should be capitalized. Yes, it was supposed to be gross. XD And I didn't realize that about the zomutt/Zomutt thing, I'll keep that in mind next time. I didn't notice that, really. o.o |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 26, 2006 14:25:41 GMT -5
Poison Dollby micrody It may be just me, but I’ve never really associated hospitals with ‘salubrious’. Maybe it’s just because I don’t equate ‘sterile’ with ‘healthy’; to me, sterile = dead zone. That’s why I sterilized my dissecting equipment. It could simply be that my view of the world (and the usage of that word) is a little tweaked. Other than that, I really like the central conceit for this story, and how the title ties into the plot. And I love the use of the salt mote. Brilliant way to tie in a real-life superstition/ritual into Neopia. Thanks, Nimras! But...well...salubrious doesn't exactly mean healthy, as it means promoting health...but I can understand how hospitals aren't necessarily promoting of health, as disease spreads fastest in hospitals...odd how that is... And, yes, I am particularly fond of my allusions to real-life superstitions as well. *sly grin* The Return...Vampire Flowers...Needed Adventure and Beauty of the Snow... *cry* my monitor is being messed-up today, and everything is pink. It's blinding to read anything... I'm afraid I won't be able to get reviews done today, but hopefully it'll be fixed by tomorrow. (If anyone has any idea of what might be causing this, I will be very appreciative of any assistance.) |
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Post by Ice on Sept 26, 2006 14:28:23 GMT -5
Secrets of Neopia: 73h N0013by ice_creema876 and Tamia_Silverwing … You mentioned the Jelly Boards in a comic and it was accepted? I’m impressed. For some reason, the purple haired n00b brings to mind that Cyclops girl from Futrarama… I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s the art style and the hair color. I totally forgot about restrictions, but it got by. I should've probably said invisible boards or something, but oh well. You're right, she does! The Futurama chick has a green shirt on sometimes too, I think. |
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Post by Tdyans on Sept 26, 2006 20:57:58 GMT -5
Needed Adventure: Part Fiveby tdyans Okay, first a mention of the Jelly boards and now Tdyans floors me with a Chia Cop. Man, maybe I’m writing too conservatively. Another beautiful part, of course *grin* I love the cops way of helping Enzo, my sister kept giving me odd looks as I sat in my chair giggling away. Nim, you are one of my "wow, look at what she gets away with!" inspirations who gave me hope for this series. There are so many elements of it that I was worried would be its doom. Mind you, when I came up with the story, they were things that would have been allowed no problem. But over the time it took me to write it, one thing after another became one of those "NT no-nos". But I decided to just write it and see what would happen. I was as suprised (and pleased) as anyone that it got accepted with so little trouble. Anyway, I'm glad it made you laugh. ;D I'm sorry I haven't been posting any reviews lately. I'm very grateful to those of you who've been reviewing my series part by part-- it's far more than I expected or hoped for. Life has just put me in a mood lately where I can't motivate myself for this. But when I can rouse myself, I will do my best to return the favor. |
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Post by Huntress on Sept 28, 2006 12:11:05 GMT -5
Woah, I haven't reviewed stuff for aaaages... prolly because I haven't been in the Times for ages. Shoot me for being egotistical. But due to the fact that my dorm internet has no access to the NTWF (a fact I keep stressing again and again and again and will soon need a tranquilizer) I'm planning to spend the upcoming weeks reviewing Times stuff and post the reviews when I get into the forum again, whenever that may occur. Watch me forget that promise next week x3;
But I need my reading practise one way or another... *wonders if the Times pieces would count in the Text Analysis course* So I'm gonna gnaw through everything I see in this issue. Ready, set, go =3
ARTICLES
A Lime-a-licious Countdown
Hehe, a really entertaining article indeed ^^ And the subject is original, not to mention the title (yeah, I always have trouble coming up with good titles, so I should know). Aaaand it has pictures =3 As for the article, it's nice and compact, gives a relatively general overview, with all the basic info. It did get a little... commercial from time to time though, felt like some of those telemarket advertisements. But at least you kept the same style throughout the whole article ^^ Better put, a style of someone who's currently hopelessly high on sugar. Eh, lime. One way or another, it indeed added to the feeling. All in all, well done ^^
Ahnnilator's Guide to the Care & Feeding of a Zomutt
Ah, the zomutt. I don't really know much about them, there isn't much info and I don't have any of those petpets either to have been working on their personality so the article was a really nice and original piece to read. The layout was classic, yes, covering the basic points of taking care of a petpet - or any pet for that matter - but it had so many original touches referring to the stinky nature of zomutts. The questions and answers part at the end was something new, well done with that ^^ Even if that part could've been longer.
Some of the paragraphs could perhaps have used going a little more indepth as well, like the "Zomutt Hygiene" part - and the "Where to buy a Zomutt" part would maybe have needed the semi-compulsory and semi-overused guide to the Shop Wizard and Trading Post along with estimated prices and such. Good for the newbies and the sentence "there are several places to buy a zomutt" would expect, well, describing several places to buy a zomutt. But it's just me. Nice article altogether.
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Post by Huntress on Sept 28, 2006 12:15:46 GMT -5
SHORT STORIES
The Return
Woah. Just... woah. It sure was different from most stories I've read in the Times. Reminded a little of those Lord of the Rings appendixes which gave an overview on the whole Middle-earth's history - which I never bothered to read fully as it was so daggone long and boring but it was impressive nevertheless. You describe many things that happen throughout a lot of time, and nothing remains hazy or confusing. Never got boring either; and I always had a clear picture of what's going on and what the scenery looks like. The Defenders of Neopia actually got a purpose, I've always seen them more as spandex-clad sissies who don't participate in Neopia's life much. Sloth actually wasn't portrayed as a girly pink-lover for a change, that one's been so overused that Sloth being a merciless ruler is already more original... The way how the beginning and the end bracketed the whole story, creating a sort of a deja vu, was neat as well.
Not sure if the solution was the best result though, felt a bit deus-ex-machina-ish. Unexpected twists are nice but better to be avoided at the very end - besides, the end wouldn't have changed even if you had left Adylene's double-agency out. But still, an awesome story and dontcha dare to say that you're not happy with the way it turned out >.> That was one of the best short stories I've read in a while.
Poison Doll
Ooh, I could smell an intriguing story as soon as I read the title, despite the fact that Neo phails at giving stories matching pictures - which is why I've started illustrating mine - and an intriguing story it was. Slaine's worry for her grandmamma set the mood and it continued throughout the story. The title kept the storyline a bit predictable though, Poison Doll hinted both to the illnesses and the nature of the Faerie Doll but as I already mentioned, it was a good and catchy title so there wasn't much to be changed there... There could've been some insight into how the granny got the poisoned doll, but maybe it's just me. And some insight into the salt mote's purpose would've been nice as well.
As for the grammatical side, I couldn't help but to be kinda bothered by the pronouns. You used either "she" or "Slaine" which got a little one-sided in the end. There would've been atleast the words "yellow Aisha" and "Neopet" to add a little variety... But still, all in all, I enjoyed that story :3
Vampire Flowers
Dang, so it wasn't a horror story in which the little Usul gets attacked and drained lifeless by a bunch of insane daisie-*whack'd* Sorry, I have a sick brain x.X; Okay, so it was a nice, fun and surprisingly light story, despite the title and all the horrific assumptions throughout the storyline. There were many funny moments, especially Sappy's salesman attempts, and many tedious moments, like Pansy stealing the bombs. And those moments switched really quickly.
A relatively cliché result and at the same time relatively unpredictable. How did you guys pull it off? o0 One way or another, well done ^^
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Post by Huntress on Sept 28, 2006 12:21:25 GMT -5
COMICS
No Game Here: Web Of Spyder
Eh, yeah. The idea is funny but not laugh-out-loud funny. Actually it feels ripped out of context, kinda asking for one or two panels extra comics to explain the situation. The art is nice though, especially for Paint, or atleast Paint-style pixelization. And the frame of those Web-of-Vernax-game ropes is a really nice touch ^^
Spooky
Seeing that the 101 Negg Recipes book is roughly 10k and he went through five books that meal only... OMG UR RICH WIL U GIV ME- *slapped* See, this is why I shouldn't review stuff when suffering from flu. Hazy brain >>
Once I skip the usual praise to your pwnsome artistic skills, gotta note that your comics have lately had a lot more detail. No more blank spaces all over the panel. Go you =3 And the joke is really good.
Echos aura kinda makes me wonder how far he can actually reach with that... it was a little strange that the aura was behind the cauldron and the cup of sugar above it, plus the cup was clear, not hazy like everything else seen through the aura. Technically the cup should still be inside the aura as I understand... yeah, I'm being nitpicky. Great work as always ^^
The Gallion Ranch
Now that was a good one x3 The are is great, with many details and good shading, especially loved the Kou-Jong panel with the glowly lanterns and the overall peaceful atmosphere. Only those three greyish falling lines in the last panel bothered me; once there are those falling lines, you'd expect to see the Scorchio aswell. But the joke is awesome and you pulled it through with no speech bubbles or redundant sidenotes or something like that. Well done, you two ^^
Popular Misconceptions
Ooh, the classic pet-being-smaller-than-petpet-idea *glances at all the Pea Chia comics* A popular misconception indeed, though if you're planning to make this comic into a series then you may very soon fall into overused ideas... The art is nice, even if the background is a little blank, especially seeing that a Baby Nimmo should be in water. I like the placement of the panels, something new by the side of all the square one-after-another boxes. Nice work altogether.
Secrets of Neopia: 73h N0013
A nice comic, even if a bit confusing because of all the overlapping panels and speech bubbles. The n00b is hysterical x3 I think you could've skipped the last round panel with the Zafara head as well as the orange arrow, they just added to the confusion. But the art is really awesome and expressive ^^ I do hope there's more to come, this looks like it'll make a good comic series.
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Post by Ice on Sept 28, 2006 14:20:20 GMT -5
Thank you, Huntress! Glad you like the n00b p:P
Arialaina's head was supposed to be by the author's note >_> It was going to be my author's note image thinger but.. I guess that wasn't too clear ^_^;
And yes, hopefully there'll be more.. as soon as I can get an artist xD
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Post by Komori on Sept 28, 2006 15:46:23 GMT -5
SpookySeeing that the 101 Negg Recipes book is roughly 10k and he went through five books that meal only... OMG UR RICH WIL U GIV ME- *slapped* See, this is why I shouldn't review stuff when suffering from flu. Hazy brain >> Once I skip the usual praise to your pwnsome artistic skills, gotta note that your comics have lately had a lot more detail. No more blank spaces all over the panel. Go you =3 And the joke is really good. Echos aura kinda makes me wonder how far he can actually reach with that... it was a little strange that the aura was behind the cauldron and the cup of sugar above it, plus the cup was clear, not hazy like everything else seen through the aura. Technically the cup should still be inside the aura as I understand... yeah, I'm being nitpicky. Great work as always ^^ ^_^ Thanks a bunch! And heheh, I'm surprised you noticed all those little inconsistencies with Echo's aura. I had messed around with putting the aura in front of the cauldron, and it looked a bit odd. Similarly, I was considering putting the hazyness over the object too, but opted against it for clarity's sake. I guess it should've been hazy, hm? Well, I guess he'll be handling more clearish objects in the future, but I'll fiix all the ones after those. ^^ Thanks again! |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 28, 2006 18:46:19 GMT -5
Short stories!
The Return by phsycoticdancer
That was...awesome!
At the beginning, I liked how you told it as a story -- and then told it as if it had already happened and the history was being recounted. Then again at the end, how it was being told as if it were happening now. Such shifts in tense can be risky, but you managed to pull it off, and wonderfully at that. Oh, and the twist at the end! It was so shocking, but so good, too. I just must wonder, though, if the neglected species, were, say, skieths, how quickly Neopia would be overrun...
When I read the line, " "The Grundos are revolting," he sputtered weakly, before collapsing at Judge Hog's feet.", I instantly thought, "There's a troll...in the dungeons," so said by Professor Quirrel before he, too, collapsed to the floor.
An awesome story, one that I really enjoyed reading. Great job.
Vampire Flowers by rainbow_mist_wave and elvenmirror24
I found it slightly predictable from the beginning till the end, but nevertheless, I really enjoyed reading this story. It kind of reminded me of the Rugrats in a weird sort of way, but I loved that show and intend that as a compliment. Overall, good piece of writing and I really enjoyed reading it!
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