Issue 256 Reviews

[plasmashadow]

If you'd like, I wouldn't mind anyone reviewing my article, "The Origins of Achyfi."

[Deleted]

Article reviews! *because I always do them in this order*

Beauty Contest Greens by dark_goddess_rising
From the start, this dragged me into it. I couldn't help but laugh wide-eyed when I read this:

Good paper is too expensive for the millions of copies the Times that have to get printed. They can't afford to pay their writers as it is. But, I digress

This next part also threw me into a fit of laughter:

By the time the contest is over, your signature will, no doubt, be incredibly sore and require a few weeks of healing time, but hearing it complain will be worth all those votes it earned you. Again, I digress.

This article was fast-placed and flawless. Most importantly, it was fun to read and really entertaining. I really enjoyed reading this. *gives cookie*

Where ARE They Now? by stopthespamming
This was one CRAZY article, but I mean that as a compliment!
This was fast-paced and incredibly...eager, even though I know that makes no sense to call an article eager. I enjoyed reading it and it was a lot of fun to read. Points five and ten were too similar, though. But, overall, this article was great.

Though...do Lutaris really not go to the pound when abandoned?

The Origins of Achyfi by plasmashadow
What is Achyfi? I guess I'll find out...
So... now I know... bad soda makers...

This was a nice article. I noticed a few flaws in grammar, but nothing that was detrimental to the piece as a whole. You raise good points and everything is understandable. It all makes sense logically as well. I happen to believe the same thing of actual soda companies, but no one believes me. Of course, I also believe it of many other companies, too, but that's besides the point.

Your ending, as well, was priceless.

[Auto Run]

Thanks for the review

[plasmashadow]

I appreciate you taking time out to review my piece.

[Deleted]

plasmashadow said:

I appreciate you taking time out to review my piece.

No problem. I enjoy doing this.

It is simply sad that as school begins tomorrow...I will have much less time for reading.

[Deleted]

Short story reviews, and these look so good this week!

Home by dan4884
"Yeah! Woohoo!" *couldn't resist*

I loved NeoQuest II; it was an awesome story and an awesome game.
But it pales in comparison to this.

"Home" was an awesome story, flawlessly written in every manner. It told a simple story, but that simplicity made it so great. I would love to see what happened to the other crew members when they went back into simulation, yet this story will be a hard one to top.

And though it has nothing at all to do with this, when he first mentioned his mother, I gasped in remembrance and shouted, "Scuzzy!" *lol* This brought back a bunch of fond memories of playing NeoQuest II. I genuinely enjoyed this, Dan, a lot.

Castles by nimras23
I love swow, too! *again, couldn't resist*

It started off slowly, but then again, I was also a bit distracted (fond memories often inspire me, or at least distract me - so you can blame Dan for that *lol* - and, for some unknown reason, I am feeling a bit gleeful at the moment, and that often preoccupies my mind). As I read on, though, I noticed that you have an awesome sense of description and that is great. The story did not move as quickly as I might have hoped (I like things fast), but in the end, it was still awesome. I particularly liked Brenden's last line. ^_^

The Believer by horsesrocktkw
This was an awesome story. Mechanically, it was flawless. In everything else, it was astounding. The ending made me smile. Yet, that is not to say that I did not enjoy the rest. I enjoyed this whole story quite a lot.

We Got a Neomail! by sweetie_me274
An entirely cute story! A good moral lesson, too! *decides on ways to get brothers to read story* ... *nah, they'll never read it anyway* *my brothers read very little* Well, I enjoyed it quite a bit. It was simple and well-written and quite fun to read.

[Nimras]

The Believer
by horsesrocktkw

I do believe in water faeries. I do! I do! *claps hands*

… Sorry.

I really like the idea of this story, how the one Faerie that obviously can’t live with the others (how do the healing springs faerie and the rainbow fountain faerie do things like shopping in Faerieland) being considered a myth.

Other than a couple times when the tenses didn’t seem to quite line up, (which could be entirely in my head… I’ve been moving boxes all day and I’m exhausted) I liked the imagery you used.

My favorite part of the whole story would have to be:

I suppose that I must look a bit weird when I go on my daily beach walks. I would think it strange if I saw an elderly Kacheek, with grey streaked fur, splashing about in the waves and hobbling down the shoreline with a wooden cane in hand.

That rocks.

[Nimras]

We Got a Neomail!
by sweetie_me274

On the inside, I wanted to be saying, "SPEND IT ALL, SPEND IT ALL!", but I knew I had to play the part of the responsible adult here. Even if I wasn't one.

Don’t you just hate that? Darn responsibilities….


Aww, I really liked the ending. There was a couple times when I was a little confused on the tenses…

“We are sorry to announce that due to a technical error, the previous letter we sent you has incorrect data. It stated that as winner of the lottery, you will receive 1,000,142 Neopoints. The correct prize money you will receive is 1,142 Neopoints. We are terribly sorry for the mix up and any troubles it has brought you. As a consolation, we are giving you a week's worth of free lottery tickets. We apologize sincerely.
Sincerely, the Neopian Lottery “

It may be just me, but I’d have maybe written it… “We are sorry to announce that due to a technical error, the previous letter we sent you had incorrect data. It stated that as winner of the lottery, you would receive 1,000,142 Neopoints. The correct price money you will receive is 1,142 Neopoints. We are terribly sorry for the mix-up and any trouble it may have caused. As a consolation, we are giving you a week's worth of free lottery tickets. We apologize.
Sincerely, the Neopian Lottery

That’s the main one the tenses bothered me about, because sometimes it was hard to see which letter it was talking about. What the old one did say, or what it should have said. If that makes sense?

Other than that, I loved it.

...and would have smack those three pets across the nose with a rolled up Neopian Times Issue #3

[Nimras]

The Origins of Achyfi
by plasmashadow

Achyfi is scary. First of all, how the heck to you pronounce it?

I love the conspiracy theory atmosphere and history you set up. (Which reminds me, did you know Starbucks and Seattle’s Best are actually owned by the same parent-company?)

“Flavors such as Dirt, Chocolate and Asparagus, Strawberry and Lime, Prawn Cocktail, and Blueberry and Chokato were created.”

… Some of those actually sound kind of good…

I don’t really have anything negative to say about this one. Other that that it made me thirsty… and I have no soda in the house. And it’s all your fault!

[Nimras]

Notions and Nonsense
The Best Things by patjade art by jerk_head

I’ve noticed I say one thing a lot of the time to Patjade’s comics… It’s funny ‘cause it’s true. ;D

I really like the way the Ixi was drawn. Something just seemed a little… off.. on the Kacheek, but I sure can’t tell you what it was. My artwork isn’t anywhere near that good.

[Nimras]

Little Orby
by tashni

Poor Orby.

And poor Jhudora. ;D

I love how he just wanders off, oblivious.

[Nimras]

Dream On
by autoc007

I love the expressions in panel one. The Slorg is so happy – and the Florgs so… not. ;D

…Run Florgies! Run!

[jillian]

My friend Kaitlyn read the reviews and she is very thrilled. She says thanks. ^^

[Beanie Morton]

Thanks for the reviews. ^^

[Dan]

micrody said:

Short story reviews, and these look so good this week!

Home by dan4884
"Yeah! Woohoo!" *couldn't resist*

I loved NeoQuest II; it was an awesome story and an awesome game.
But it pales in comparison to this.

"Home" was an awesome story, flawlessly written in every manner. It told a simple story, but that simplicity made it so great. I would love to see what happened to the other crew members when they went back into simulation, yet this story will be a hard one to top.

And though it has nothing at all to do with this, when he first mentioned his mother, I gasped in remembrance and shouted, "Scuzzy!" *lol* This brought back a bunch of fond memories of playing NeoQuest II. I genuinely enjoyed this, Dan, a lot.

Castles by nimras23
I love swow, too! *again, couldn't resist*

It started off slowly, but then again, I was also a bit distracted (fond memories often inspire me, or at least distract me - so you can blame Dan for that *lol* - and, for some unknown reason, I am feeling a bit gleeful at the moment, and that often preoccupies my mind). As I read on, though, I noticed that you have an awesome sense of description and that is great. The story did not move as quickly as I might have hoped (I like things fast), but in the end, it was still awesome. I particularly liked Brenden's last line. ^_^

The Believer by horsesrocktkw
This was an awesome story. Mechanically, it was flawless. In everything else, it was astounding. The ending made me smile. Yet, that is not to say that I did not enjoy the rest. I enjoyed this whole story quite a lot.

We Got a Neomail! by sweetie_me274
An entirely cute story! A good moral lesson, too! *decides on ways to get brothers to read story* ... *nah, they'll never read it anyway* *my brothers read very little* Well, I enjoyed it quite a bit. It was simple and well-written and quite fun to read.

Thank you for the review, I really appreciate it. ^^