Issue 216 Reviews

[Buddy]

Heh, I really liked this week's Editorial! It was much funnier than it usually tends to be! I mean, I like how they answer our questions - but I also like how they do it in funny, light way. Makes these Neopets Staff Members who come off as almost uber-human seem really normal and down to Earth!

Droplet, who did this week's Editorial? Donna or Adam? Whoever it was, tell them to keep it up! I loved it!

[Star]

Hey! Could anyone please, please review my short story Gelert Diaries 2? I finally got something in again! =D

[Yuka]

star said:

Hey! Could anyone please, please review my short story Gelert Diaries 2? I finally got something in again! =D

More short story reviews!

Gelert Diaries Two

This was a fun little story. I lost the thread a few times, but that's probably because I'm tired. The way it ended suggested a sequel - I hope so, because I really enjoyed this story and I'm curious now! Great job.

The Long Road Home

Another great story. This issue's been a good one thus far. I loved the eccentric Cooper, and how it took time for Allens feelings about him to shift. Well done! ;D

(Reviews for Legend Seekers: Destiny Discovered, which finished this week, are still very welcome! )

[Tashni]

Some Comic Reviews

C.H.A.O.S. - Cute! I've always wondered just how JubJubs got along without arms. Minor punctuation thing that isn't really wrong, just unnecessary. "How was the lab ray, today?" I don't see the need for that comma. It just made the sentence a little odd in my opinion. But that's just me, and I'm a freak. But I liked it!

Meridellian Mayhem - It took me awhile to get it, but after I did, it was really funny! I think it took me so long because the art needed to be more expressive. I didn't quite catch what that bump was in the first frame the first time around, I'd suggest making it bigger and redder so that it's obviously a wound. You may also have shown the Yurble actually hitting the Lupe, but that's not a big deal. Overall, once I got it, I really liked it! The art was nicely done, except for what I mentioned above. The coloring and outlining is great, although there isn't really any shadowing.

LupedeLupe - The art is SPECTACULAR! Fantastic, wonderful, I'm green with envy here. The one thing I can possibly say against it is the lack of background. It would be nice to get something other than negative space. The joke's really good too. I wonder what candy corn Geb tastes like?

Sanity Obsolete - Cute. The art was okay, the joke was pretty good. It was an original punchline, and that goes a long way with me. But overall, nothing that special. (Don't hurt me! I did like it, it just didn't 'wow' me.)

[Tyrannitar]

tashni said:

Sanity Obsolete - Cute. The art was okay, the joke was pretty good. It was an original punchline, and that goes a long way with me. But overall, nothing that special. (Don't hurt me! I did like it, it just didn't 'wow' me.)

Welcome to your average comic series.

[Ikkin]

tashni said:

Meridellian Mayhem - It took me awhile to get it, but after I did, it was really funny! I think it took me so long because the art needed to be more expressive. I didn't quite catch what that bump was in the first frame the first time around, I'd suggest making it bigger and redder so that it's obviously a wound. You may also have shown the Yurble actually hitting the Lupe, but that's not a big deal. Overall, once I got it, I really liked it! The art was nicely done, except for what I mentioned above. The coloring and outlining is great, although there isn't really any shadowing.

I guess I should have made the bump bigger (I was kind of afraid of the violence rejection-it was kind of dependant upon being published during the plot, so I didn't want to risk it) I couldn't really see how I'd have the Yurble hit Jeran without obscuring one of them (I liked the Yurble's expression), though. But, I'll make sure to be more careful about things like that next time.

I shouldn't be lazy about shading anymore...

Thanks for the review! (Creative) Criticism is always welcome.

[w 2 . Sparky]

Just wondering, does anyone get the jokes of the mushroom comic series (Guiding Light)?

[Tyrannitar]

Tyrannitar's Mega-tacular Comic Reviews
Okay, so here's the criteria:
Twitch: Was mildly amusing; consider it a 'point'.
Snort: Worth 3 twitches.
Laugh: Worth 2 snorts.
So, if I gave your comic 6 twitches, I laughed. If I gave your comic 5 twitches, I snorted twice and twitched. If I gave your comic three snorts then that's equivalent to four and and a half laughs.

Good luck understanding! ^_^

Guilding Light - Artwork as interesting as ever. First time I read it I understood the joke, but it is mildly amusing all the same. 3 twitches!

Lenny Sack - I like the artwork; it reminds me of Stone's pencil-crayoninstic things. However, the joke isn't that funny, and the 'Eww' face looks like he's constipated. XD 2.5 twitches!

C.H.A.O.S. - A classic joke with good artwork. 2 twitches!

Meridellian Mayhem - I like the artwork, even if the lineart is a bit thick so it makes it a bit hard to see... also, the white could use a bit of filling-in too, but if the colour made it over the allotted image size then that's acceptable too. It also brings some kind of impending doom upon a character - classic! I give it 2.75 twitches.

Sanity Obsolete - 1,000,000,000,000,000 laughs just because it was made by the almighty evanescent_pudding! XD Okay, so maybe we're NOT supposed to review our own comics...

[Deleted]

tashni said:

C.H.A.O.S. - Cute! I've always wondered just how JubJubs got along without arms. Minor punctuation thing that isn't really wrong, just unnecessary. "How was the lab ray, today?" I don't see the need for that comma. It just made the sentence a little odd in my opinion. But that's just me, and I'm a freak. But I liked it!

Hehe, I apologize for the comma. ^^; Sometimes I get comma-happy and put them in unecessary places.

tyrannitar said:

C.H.A.O.S. - A classic joke with good artwork. 2 twitches!

Yay. ^^


Reviews:

Survival: a Guide to Neopian Camping by puppy200010

This was an amusing article with some rather conflicting advice (direction wise ). I really enjoyed reading it, but there were a couple sentence errors I noticed. Like starting with "or" and "but". I think you should become more familiar with our good friend the semicolon if you want to add onto your sentences like that. Overall, it was a good article, though a little short. I would have like to hear more of your camping tips.


I'll do more later, I just got home from work and I'm tired. xD

[ICKessler]

schefflera said:

Lenny Sack by ICKessler
Ewwwww! I agree. Ew.

tyrannitar said:

Lenny Sack - I like the artwork; it reminds me of Stone's pencil-crayoninstic things. However, the joke isn't that funny, and the 'Eww' face looks like he's constipated. XD 2.5 twitches!

Thanks for the reviews. Well... you win some, you lose some. I keep telling you guys I don't have a good sense of humor, now maybe you'll believe me.

[Czenko]

ickessler said:

schefflera said:

Lenny Sack by ICKessler
Ewwwww! I agree. Ew.

tyrannitar said:

Lenny Sack - I like the artwork; it reminds me of Stone's pencil-crayoninstic things. However, the joke isn't that funny, and the 'Eww' face looks like he's constipated. XD 2.5 twitches!

Thanks for the reviews. Well... you win some, you lose some. I keep telling you guys I don't have a good sense of humor, now maybe you'll believe me.

I don't believe you. I will never believe you. You have the art skills and the sense of humor I wish I had.

[Tay - Sock Eater]

I would appreciate any of my two things being reviewed:

ARTICLE: A Hasee Bounce Novel
SERIES: Purple Pebble: Part Two

[Tiger]

If anyone wouldn't mind reviewing the LAST part of my series, Avalon and The Emerald Noil Gem: Avalon's Apprentice? Phew, gotta say, I'm glad I don't have to write all that again.

Any reviews. or even comments on the whole thing, are rewarded with fake Emerald Noil Gems!!

[Deleted]

Thanks for the review, Yuka. ^^

[Komori]

ickessler said:

Thanks for the reviews. Well... you win some, you lose some. I keep telling you guys I don't have a good sense of humor, now maybe you'll believe me.

Pfft. As if. You have a great sense of humor, and the skills to match it. Actually, as I recall, you said you had majored in Illustration in school. It shows. ^__^ You can say a lot with only a few pictures.




Mkay, now I'll do some comic reviews! And I don't pull any punches, people! And I'm an art student, so this might get a little.... picky.


Sanity Obsolete

... Hm. I can't say I understood the joke at first. I had to actually go back and reread it. I think the problem is that the object the Tooth Faerie is handing the Poogle is unclear. I can tell now that it was supposed to be some sort of Tooth-faerie themed cupcake, but I could only tell from the Neo item picture in the upper right corner. Originally to me, it looked like a stack of toothbrush bristles with toothpaste on them. I think it would've been much clearer if the tooth faerie had mentioned the name of the item. Like "Here you go, young Neopet: a [item name]!" Alternatively, the poogle could've said "A [item]! Thank you, Tooth Faerie!" The problem is that most Neopians are unfamiliar with that particular item, having no interest in Tooth Faeries. Actually, that's the problem with using Neopian items. Unless they are very common, like sand bottles or spooky foods, you have to tell the reader what the item is.

As for the art. The layout and design is fine for the type of joke. I applaud you for taking the time to redraw each character in the second panel, rather than copying the images from the first panel. That shows more dedication, I think, and makes the comic less static. The poogle's reaction to the cupcake is nice, though I think it could've been more exaggerated. ^__^

All in all, it's a nice comic.



Komik Releef

Hehe, it's a cute comic, and especially good for your first. Bravo for not putting the horrendous first-comic afternote! How I loathe those things! The joke was not particularly new, but it was still nicely executed. The timing was quite good. That second panel really helped slow the pace of the comic down. Without it, the reader wouldn't have felt the length of the slorg's trek. I think perhaps if you had zoomed out a little on the slorg in the first panel, to show a bit more empty space behind him, the reader would've felt that the slorg had been traveling even longer.

The art is quite nice. The details are a nice touch, like the lacing on the owner's shoes, and the shine in the window of the house. The little cartoony spiral sun is a tad distracting, but it's all right. I love the shadow cast on the slorg. It's used quite effectively. ... Oh, and looking at the slorg's eyes, I immediately thought Gary from Spongebob. ^_^

One thing I might suggest, though, is use a clearer text. It's easy enough to read, but it's a far too playful font to put in a comic. If any of your dialogue had been longer, the text would've been difficult to read. I know it's tempting to use fun fonts, but simple is best. Comic Sans, though a bit overused, is a good simple font. You can also look for other fonts. Keep them sans-seriff, if you could. Alternatively, you can write the text yourself. That has the benefit of matching better with the drawing style, but it can easily become illegible if you're not careful.

All things considered, it's a very charming comic.



Meridellian Mayhem

Gyah, you almost gave away the punchline of your comic with the comic title! Jeran and Kass don't usually have a connection with the Lost Desert or the current plot, so if you didn't mention a Yurble, nobody would be thinking about the Desert. The punchline would've come as more of a surprise. The foreman is the only significant Yurble in Neopia, so the mentioning of a Yurble immediately brings him to mind. Especially when the title is "Evil Yurble." Additionally, I don't think Jeran needed to say 'Stupid Yurble.'

I think Kass's dialogue could've been reworded better. On the first read, it doesn't sound like a response to Jeran's request for a sword. It sounds like a completely different issue. I expected the third panel to be a totally different character, complaining of a totally different issue, and go on in a pattern from there. There needed to be more of a connection between the dialogue of the first panel and the dialogue of the second. Jeran's request for a sword makes Kass think the Desert War has begun. So perhaps after Jeran says "I need a sword...", Kass could respond with something along the lines of "Why, has the war started?" ... or even just change one word of Kass's line: "Has the war started already?" The difference between 'yet' and 'already' is a subtle but significant one.

The art is very clean and pleasant to look at. Done in Flash, I assume? I agree about the bonk on the head in the first panel. I didn't even notice that little bump until the second read. It isn't really an essential element to the comic, but it could've been larger if you wanted it to be noticable. Also, the lines are too thick in the thought bubble. The foreman and Jeran's mouths are a bit too cluttered. It might've been clearer with thinner lines.

But altogether, it's quite a beautiful comic.

sparky63428 said:

Just wondering, does anyone get the jokes of the mushroom comic series (Guiding Light)?

Is that a review request or just a question? I got the punchline of this week's comic, though it is a rather odd one. It can take a couple of reads to really understand it. I don't know. I find the use of Neopian mushrooms a strange but unique one. Mushrooms aren't really capable of much of a range of action, so the comics rely on verbal jokes. I dunno, they're usually quite nice.