Ashamed of your age

[Torey]

All through my life I've always noticed how people tend to celebrate their birthdays when they're young and dread them as they get older. My parents dread theirs. My mom's going to be 43 in April and my dad will be 49 in April. They're already saying how they wished they were weren't getting older. But why? Why should people be so ashamed of being old? It's natural. We're meant to live our lives out, we're meant to age and then die. It's life.

I often wonder if it's because of all the things that come with age. There's alzheimers disease which is awful, there's the loss of responsibilities and there's the loss of independence. But usually that doesn't start until you're in your 70's and onwards. I don't see how dwelling on that when you're in your 30's and 40's is appropriate because many still have years left.

Another reason is because every day is one step closer to death. I think that's the main reason to tell you the truth. It's a scary thought to think that there's no way to stop death. It will happen and you're getting nearer and nearer to the day that you will eventually die. Thinking about it, that's the thing that scares me, even though I'm still young.

Anyway, what are your thoughts on this?

[Rachel]

I think people fear getting old because they are not sure what to expect. Between when you're born and your twenties you have parents to take care of you. Still into your thirties you're usually new at work, new at having a child, so people help you.

Getting into your forties and up the help seizes, and it confuses you. Some things you might still need help with but who do you turn to. Your eight-year-old daughter? Your working-twelve-hours-a-day husband?

These are my thoughts.

[Orginalcliche]

Death for me doesn't scare me, even though I don't beilive in god. I suppose it's my family. My dad's an intellectual and my mom is miss nature and they have never really instilled a fear of death within me. They probably worry about getting over but they never really showed it to me. Death is something inevitable, and for me that is almost comferting. There is an end, so that means that no matter what happens it to will pass and that even when I die (hopefully) I will be remembered. The only thing that does scare be about death though is the fact of other people dieing. Having someone all of sudden just not be there is really frightening to me.

[Killix]

Well, the older you are, the closer to death you are. Plus, our bodies tend to lose their functions when we get older thins like: memory loss, movement problems, arthritis, loss of bladder control etc.

Nobody looks forward to it.

[Princess Ember Mononoke]

Mmm, I just read The Picture of Dorian Gray,, so I've been thinking about this.

Almos everyt psychological trait that's found throughout most of society is generated, or at least fueled, by society to start with. It's a vicious circle sort of thing: they say it's true, so I know it is, and someday I'll perpetuate that belief in others.

Youth has been worshipped since Ancient Greece, and probably before that. Back then, people were living and dying young. There was no retirement, no looking forward to the Golden Years, if glory and other desirable things were not achieved in youth, you would be void of them for the rest of your life. It's been like that throughout most of history, and, to a lesser extent, even to this day.

Youth is considered beautiful. It's when the human body is in it's prime, fully developed, but without being worn by time. Humanity, partly to its credit and partly to its shame, is obsessed with beauty. Losing your youth means losing your beauty, which in turn means losing your desirability, in more than one sense of the word.

True, extreme old age means losing much more than just your physical attractiveness, but, as has been pointed out, it's 40 and not 60 or 70 where the age panic first starts to kick in.

[TK]

An amusing thing I've noticed is that most of the people over ninety I've met aren't ashamed of their age - in fact, they tend to proclaim it as a conversation-starter.

Hell, to live to ninety - I know that I'd be proud.

[Deleted]

Hmm... I agree with you Ginger, old age isn't something people should dread.

But like Meowth said, as people get old they also get weaker, be in a wheelvhair possibly and have sight problems. But like TK said, alot of REALLY old people are proud that they lived that long!

My goal is to live to see the 22nd century (2100). Call me crazy, but it's what I'm shooting for! ;D

[Lord of the Frogs is Yellow]

I wanna join some of the debates here, so I thought this would be a good thread to start on... Has anyone here ever read Tuesdays with Morrie, because it talks a lot about this sort of subject. People really shouldn't worry about aging, because there's nothing they can do to stop it, and it'll just make them more unhappy about it. ...That's what the book says, anyway, and I agree. Everyone has their time to be a certain age, and you always keep a little part of an age with you, so it's really pointless to worry about how old you are or envy the age of others. Besides, you wouldn't want to stay young and ignorant all your life, would you? Getting older can be a good thing, too, people just don't really look at that part of it.

[Princess Ember Mononoke]

LOTF said:

I wanna join some of the debates here, so I thought this would be a good thread to start on... Has anyone here ever read Tuesdays with Morrie, because it talks a lot about this sort of subject. People really shouldn't worry about aging, because there's nothing they can do to stop it, and it'll just make them more unhappy about it. ...That's what the book says, anyway, and I agree. Everyone has their time to be a certain age, and you always keep a little part of an age with you, so it's really pointless to worry about how old you are or envy the age of others. Besides, you wouldn't want to stay young and ignorant all your life, would you? Getting older can be a good thing, too, people just don't really look at that part of it.

I read that! it was really more about death than age, unless you mean extreme old age, which, as has been pointed out, is often less dreaded and shameful than fourties and fifties.

[Buddy]

I think it has to do with death - people fear death. And every year you grow older is a year closer you are to death.

There's also the feeling of not having done enough. Like, studiying for a test - you can study for hours the night before, then sit down to take the test and feel you still haven't studied enough. You still feel that you've not done enough - that there's something you've missed. But its too late now - you can't go back and redo it.

People fear the future and regret the past. Perhaps they fear the future because, when it becomes the past, they know they will regret it? Or, perhaps people regret the past because they spent too much time fearing the future?

However, I can say this - if I lived to be ninety, I sure as hell would be proud!

[Gav]

Then there's the thing about what kind of 'group' you're in. As a child, you want to grow up fast so you can use all that flashy stuff and go out with your friends and stuff.

Teenage years could either mean either being content with your age (no worries, no taxes...), wanting to grow up (in case you wanna be really mature) or being really philosphical (like me) and looking back at the freedom you get when you were a child and wishing you could experience it again...

Adult years, you yearn for your childhood becuase, well, it's the adults that do all the worrying. Children don't hafta pay taxes, worry about paycuts, etc. And adults start to worry about growing old and turning ugly or dying (that's really stupid, though). Or there's the rare ones who are already content.

Old ones are content. They know their time is up, so they don't care about their age.

Meh, I rambled...

[scrufflewhompus]

No matter what you do, you absolutely CAN NOT prevent yourself from becoming a year older. Therefore, make the best of it and celebrate!

[Patjade]

I am 47. I will be 48 in May.

I am the oldest person in the NTWF.

I am older than most of your parents.

I am not ashamed of that. It is a fact of life. However, I have the heart of a 16 year old. I keep it in a jar on my desk. ;D

[Torey]

Patjade said:

I am 47. I will be 48 in May.

I am the oldest person in the NTWF.

I am older than most of your parents.

I am not ashamed of that. It is a fact of life. However, I have the heart of a 16 year old. I keep it in a jar on my desk. ;D

Pat, we KNOW that you're not ashamed of your age You're probably the most wackiest 40-odd year old I've met. My mom comes a close second though

And she'll be 43 in April by the way. She dreads her birthdays though...she shouldn't.

[Jessica Coconut]

The way I see it, I want to live LONG. And, by living that long, someone (or maybe me) will come up with a way to keep people like me from going senile or dependant on every last dang working person out there. That's all that really matters to me. Of course, if someone found out how to keep the beauty thing going without having to put on a pound of makeup every day, that'd be nice.

See, when I get that old, all my friends and people like that will all be old with me. I wont need to really worry about young people anyway.