More "Things People Say"

[rmuecke]

Me: *Brandishing a rolled-up poster* I have a lethal weapon of lethalness here, and I'm not afraid to use it!

[bag]

See, never ask me to explain how I broke my leg...

Friend's brother (kidding around): So, how'd you break your leg?

Me: I was walking my dog down the street when a drunk pizza driver with a collie in his car came zooming by. Out of his drunkness, he threw the collie at me, and it sratched so deep into my leg it broke the cyst and my bone was broken.

FB: What kind of collie?

Me: Does it matter?

***

Another one just because:

Me: Knock knock.

Friend: Who's there?

Me: *starts laughing hysterically*

Friend: Huh? What's going on? What's so funny?

[Spot]

Lady at the museum to her kid: See those dinosaurs? If you don't brush your teeth, they'll turn brown too.

[Elcie]

Tehehe, on the phone with Rain last night playing KH. ^_^

Rain: Fangirling Axel is like... fangirling Sephiroth. They're demented!
Me: ... Demented people need love too.

Me: Shinies. ^_^
Rain: Shinies?
Me: Yeah. Shinies. They make me happy.
Rain: The shinies don't make me happy. They make me sad. ;_;

Rain: Cute little HP Balls...
Me: What? ;
Rain: *ignores me and starts singing* Cuuute little HP ballls... all they want is loooove...

Rain: *starts laughing maniacally as she's fighting some Heartless* >D
Me: ; And you said Axel was demented.
Rain: Well... he is.
Me: You're demented too... XD You act like Axel sometimes.
Rain: Yesss! >DDDD I'm demented!

Rain: Yeeheehee DIE you are killing my MINIONS!
Me: Yes, Axel. ^_^
Rain: X3

(I don't really know what Axel is like or anything, but Rain's started playing Chain of Memories and she calls him demented. So yes. XD)

SOME KH1 SPOILERS:







Rain: Oooh, cloaky guy. I think it's Ansem.
Me: Oh, yeah?
Rain: Yeah, I mean, who else would be telling Riku "be consumed by the darkness!"?
Me: Good point. xD






END SPOILERS

Rain: So after Hollow Bastion, everything gets harder?
Me: Apparently.
Rain: I guess this means I should go, quick! kill Hercules!
Me: XDDDD Yeah, probably.

Rain: So if I look like Riku, sound like Shigure, and act like Axel, what does that make me?
Me: You're a... you're... wait for it... a Rigurexel!
Rain: XDDDD HAHAHA I AM RIGUREXEL!

[Deleted]

Jake needs to die.

Me: Can you turn down the sound?
Jake: No.
Me: Please?
Jake: No. HOLY CRAP IT'S RIKU.
Me: ... YOU uranus!

He's playing KH2, btw.

[bag]

At Water Country:

Me: *dunks friend in water*

Friend: PEDOPHILE!!!

[Deleted]

Family conversations at dinner are so pleasant.

Me: Hey dad.
Dad: Yeah?
Me: Well today at the pool, I kept on doing handstands in the water, and everytime I went to the surface my hair would be in my face, like this. *does the sadako thing* So then these two boys come by and the first one says "Hey look she looks like that girl from that movie" so I'm like "yeah and which movie would that be?" and then he says "Uhm... Scary Movie 3..." And they have a parody of The Ring in that movie, so I was all glad that someone recongized me as Sadako.
Dad: Sadako?
Me: Yeah, I prefer Sadako to Samara.
Mom: How do you know about The Ring?
Me: Oh I read it.
Mom: What?
Me: They had a manga of it at the library so I borrowed it and read it. But I think it was Ringu because it was a manga.
Mom: What's Ringu?
Dad: The Japanese version of The Ring. It's supposed to be really scary. I saw some clips of it. It's...
Me: steamy dung-in-your-pants scary.
Dad: Yeah. Basically.

[puzz]

Introducing...the Breanna files!

Breanna: I'd like to go to Italy...
Me: I am going to Italy. On the school Europe trip.
Breanna: Europe's in Italy?

Breanna: I'm moving to Calgary this summer.
Jena: Really? You're moving to Alberta?
Breanna: Wait, what? Calgary's in Alberta?
Jena: What kind of marks do YOU get in socials??

Breanna (talking to some guy she doesn't know on the phone): My name is Monica Suzie. I live in Portugal.
Me: Do you even know where Portugal is?
Breanna: No...

And there's a lot more where that came from. XDD

[bag]

puzz said:

Introducing...the Breanna files!

Breanna: I'd like to go to Italy...
Me: I am going to Italy. On the school Europe trip.
Breanna: Europe's in Italy?

Breanna: I'm moving to Calgary this summer.
Jena: Really? You're moving to Alberta?
Breanna: Wait, what? Calgary's in Alberta?
Jena: What kind of marks do YOU get in socials??

Breanna (talking to some guy she doesn't know on the phone): My name is Monica Suzie. I live in Portugal.
Me: Do you even know where Portugal is?
Breanna: No...

And there's a lot more where that came from. XDD

Good god, that's funny.

[lemmykoopa300]

Me: *sneezes viloently*
Aunt: Bless you!
Cousin: MODERN DAY SALAD! *pause* ...What?

That's become a big inside joke with the two of us. XD

*after I had a conversation/argument with the clerk at a chocolate store about They Might Be Giants (the band) hating kids*
Same cousin: You think THEY <They Might Be Giants> hated themselves when THEY were kids?!

[bag]

Me and my sister were playing a game:

Me: The category is Famous German Landmarks.

Sister: I don't know! Um...

...

...

Nova Scotia?

[bag]

I really hate to post a bathroom joke here, but it is pretty funny.

Cousin: It doesn't matter whether you wipe your butt with your hand, just who you touch after you do it!

[spiritwolfforever]

Warning: slightly suggestive humor

Guy lecturing us (on rape, internet abuse, and you!): At 14, you can legally have sex here. Now, the age down in the US is 18. keep that in mind if you're traveling.

En route to Drama meetup...

Mollie: *jokingly* Hey baby, what's your sign?
Me: *sleepily* ...um, Viagra?
Mollie and friends: *bursts out laughing*
Me: Virgo! I meant Virgo!

Kyle: *playing a match-making minigame on my DS* Let's see...who should I match?
me: How about Kyle and Thomas the Tugboat?
Kyle: What?!
Me: He does have twin-engines and a mighty big smoke stack ^_^
Kyle: o__________o Oh gosh...

[lemmykoopa300]

On AIM the other night:

Friend: What's up?
Lemmy:p/b] Nothin' much, listening to music. TMBG and R.E.M. = Geek rock. =D
Lemmy: GEEKS NEED LOVE TOO.

That last quote is in her AIM buddy profile. XDDD

[Deleted]

Radio: Did you PLJ today?
Me: No but I PMS'd.
Mom: XDDDD
Jake: What?