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Post by Deleted on Dec 9, 2005 0:21:14 GMT -5
Ellie: ERIKA. MILLIE MISSED THE BUS. Erika; AGAIN!?! Ellie: Yeah. So, when she comes here, we're to call her Frankie and nothing else. Got it? Erika: Wait...can I call her a d*mb*ss first? Ellie: Call her D*mb*ss Frankie. Erika: YAY. =D
Erika: Wait, what? Kelsie: Yeah, actually, it's true... Mom: GIRLS STOP FIGHTING. Erika: We're not. Mom: ...Huh? Kelsie: We're talking. Mom: Oh...Keep it up girls. Erika: XD
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Post by Cow-winkle on Dec 10, 2005 16:25:17 GMT -5
Mom: Wow, that's a good drawing. I didn't know you did dogs! Me: Neither did I...
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Colin: I don't like girls who threaten me. Amanda: You don't like girls, PERIOD. Me: No one likes girls' periods!
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Keehan: So, in my picture, these guys are supposed to go down into that cave where there's... Mrs Trussler: (To me) Ben, be quiet! Keehan: *Snicker snicker*
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Me: I have reason to believe that I have perfect pitch. Adam, what's this note? *Whistle what I think is a C* Adam (Who definitely has perfect pitch): B flat. Me: Darn, so close!
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Garret: You're scared of girls! Me: Yup, I am. Garret: Why? Me: Because they're scary.
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Post by Elcie on Dec 10, 2005 22:03:22 GMT -5
Quotes from orchestra in the musical we had today... Mr. Tague: There have been attacks on Hong Kong, the Philippines, and Guam. Steve: THEY ATTACKED GUAM! Me: XDDDDDDDD (when Mrs. Slagle is making her speech before the musical) Steve: If you want to kill someone, please take it outside. Anthony: If you wish to be killed by a real marine, please stand up. $5 fee. Me: *thinking* XD so wrong.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 10, 2005 22:43:04 GMT -5
Zac: *comes on as Mrs. Bascom* Someone in the audience: *whistles at Zac* Everyone in the wings: *dies laughing*
^__^
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Post by Ikkin on Dec 13, 2005 18:52:10 GMT -5
My sister: "I'm a Sumerian mailman!" (her teacher told her that letters in ancient Sumer must have weighed 60 lbs...)
My mom (singing): "I saw daddy kissing Santa Claus..."
Note in the "Monster" class of my programming assignment: "And have you ever stopped to think that maybe the reason that monsters are generally so mean is because we call them monsters? Perhaps the so-called "monster" would be quite friendly if we didn't label them with the name "monster" and fear them and attack them. "So feel free to come up with a different name than Monster if you're afraid of unruly classes that might get mad at you and start causing your code to crash at random times. :-)"
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leXa
Talkative Reader
Posts: 444
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Post by leXa on Dec 13, 2005 20:54:00 GMT -5
*Dominique is reading my poem and suddenly takes on an indian accent* Lexa: What's up with the Indian accent? Dominique: I don't know. I can't do it, but my neighbors can. Maybe that's because they're Indian.. Holly: Possibly..
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Post by Cow-winkle on Dec 15, 2005 0:27:47 GMT -5
Some of my favourite quotes from the best math teacher I've ever had:
Student: I forgot my calculator. Mr McKinnon: You came to math class without your calculator? When you go swimming, do you go without your bathing suit?
Mr McKinnon: Why were you late? Student: ... I don't know? Mr McKinnon: Well, don't ask me! If I knew everything, I'd be a millionnaire living in the Carribean. But I don't, so I'm stuck being a math teacher here.
Mom: I got my sons some advent calendars with chocolates in them. Do you think they believe in Santa, or do they just like the chocolates? McKinnon: What do YOU think?
...
I guess you had to be there.
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Me: *Shoveling snow* Old Woman: It's snowing. Are you a skier? Me: Nah. Old Woman: You are? Me: No. Old Woman: Then you must love this weather! Me: *Sigh*
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(In Foods class, we were baking Christmas cookies... or Winter Holday cookies, to be politically correct...)
Sid: Those should be in the oven by now. Me: YOU should be in the oven by now!... Hey, that actually made sense! Keehan: Yeah, good burn! Me: Yes, "burn".
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Me: Here's a trick question. If I have three apples, and you take two apples, how many apples do you have? Garret: One, because a worm eats one of them. Me: How could a worm eat an apple that quickly... Let's suppose worms don't exist. Sid: How would soil be composted? Me: Let's suppose worms never existed, and therefor had no effect on evolution... wait, we all evolved from worms... okay, scratch that. Let's suppose we're in an air-tight room, in a vacuum. But we can breathe for some reason. Garret: How is that possible? Me: I HAVE CHANGED THE LAWS OF REALITY AS WE KNOW THEM. The only things that exist in the universe are you, me and five apples. I have these five apples. You take two of them. Garret: Why would I want to take apples if there's nothing else in the universe? Why couldn't I just kill you and get all five of them? Keehan: Why don't you ask me the question? Me: Fine. If I have five apples, and you take two apples, how many apples do you have? Keehan: Let me think... *long pause*... What was the question again? Me: *Sigh* I have five apples, you take two of them, how many do you have? Keehan: Two. That's an easy question, what's the point? Me: Well, it's supposed to be a trick question, most people wouldn't... nevermind.
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Garret: ...Ben doesn't count. He's God! Me: Yeah, I wish...
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Post by Deleted on Dec 15, 2005 3:14:32 GMT -5
Mrs. T: Erika, what does your poem say? Erika: Uhh...don't kiss, because you will get an allergic reaction. AND DIE. Mrs. T: Nice try. Wanna give it another shot? Erika: I don't know I'm REALLY sorry. Mrs. T: OK, anyone want to help her? Henry: Her poem says...I forgot. ; Mrs. T: Ok, Mr.H has one. Mr.H: Yes I do. Her poem says if you're close enough to get your togune in her mouth, you should know if she's got allergies. Everyone: XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD Mkaela(After two class discussions in a row):...Mrs.T likes having discussions, doesn't she? Mrs.K: Didn't you hear me read Chicken soup for the soul on Friday? Erika: I HAVE NO SOUL. WHat would the chicken soup do for me? Guy in the hallway (to another girl): I am NOT wearing your pants! Erika: O___o I am NOT going there. Peyton: Can we do secret santas tomorrow because I won't be here Friday? Everyone: Awwww, but...we don't haff your pressies...;_; (Speaking of which, I gotta borrow 20 bucks from my ma. ;;; ) Ellie: Do you want one of those mango books for Christmas? Erika: ... Ellie: I MEAN MANGA. ><;;;
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Post by william on Dec 15, 2005 15:03:28 GMT -5
Me (to Henry, who is ginger): Henry, are your parents ginger? Henry: No. Me: Your grandparents? Henry: No. The milkman's ginger though. Both of us: *burst out laughing*
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Post by Deleted on Dec 15, 2005 18:00:52 GMT -5
Melissa: I love F.O.B.! Maria: What's F.O.B.? Melissa: Fall Out Boy. I'm saying bands now as their ancronyms. Maria: Cool! I love F.O.B.! Matt: What's F.O.B.? Me: Federation of Boys. Matt: Ew. Maria: I love G.D.! Nicola: Did you just say that you love JD?! Me: Maria: No, GD. Green Day. Me: omg thank god. XD Me: *to Nicola* Hey look, no bikes at the bike rack. I'm not surprised. Whatever's in [brackets], I'm thinking. Nick: Aw, look Brian! JD's walking home with his girlfriend! Me: I'm not his girlfriend! [At least, not yet.] Me: *waves to JD* Hi. JD: Hi. Katie: Hey, are you okay? JD: Yeah, why? Katie: Your face is red. Me: *starts blushing* Olivia: Like you're running from somewhere. Mme Chukrallah: Matt! Matt: What?! Mme Chukrallah: How do you say that it's cold out? Matt: Uhhh... Mme Chukrallah: Aha! Why don't people pay attention? Patrick: Because they aren't paying attention? Mme Chukrallah: Exactly!
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Post by Deleted on Dec 15, 2005 19:14:22 GMT -5
Erika: *Opens present* omg I NEVER SAW IT COMING! Ellie: OMG! XDDDD (Note; I went and picked the above present out along with Ellie yesterday.) Erika: (Looks at present Peyton got me.) That is so true. (It says "I have issues.") Random girl: So that was a secret santa gift exchange? Millie: YEAH! ANd everyone was crowding around and was like "OOOOOOOOOOH." I can't blame them. Our gifts flowed down half the table. XD Maddie: ERIKA! Erika: Maddie...STOP WITH ALL THE CRACK! ><;; Maddie: Yaaaah...XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD Mr.L: Erika, how do we measure mass? Erika: (Thinking.) Mr.L: Erika? Errrrikaaaaaa... Erika: I'MTHINKINGHOLDONASDFGHJKL;' Mr.L: Oh. o-o;;; Mr.L: Kay, so she got a single. Erika: YAY. *Sits in a chair in the middle.* Mr.L: (about a munite later) Kay, so that was 3 outs, switch. Erika: Awwww...but I wanna sit in the special peoples chair. ;____; Mickey: HA! Now I can sit in the special people chair! Erika: NOOOOOOOOOO! ToT Mildred: oh, good, you didn't run off with my slippers! Erika: You know, I should run off with them now. Mildred: NO. NOT WITH MY BUMBLE YOU DON'T. (I wore Ellie's new slippers 3rd and 4th periods, and Millie's new slippers though lunch, 5th, and sixth period. Quite comical, really. XD) Ellie :OMG PEYTON I'M GONNA MISS YOU. *Sobbing on her shoulder.* Peyton: Erika, Millie, please help... Erika: *Goes over and starts fake crying on Peyton's shoulder.* Millie: XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD Ellie: WHY CAN'T WE STAY DOWN IN MR.L'S ROOM!?! Erika: Because it's full of peanuts. A room full of nuts, I can handle, but...O___O Mildred: XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD *Rolling on the floor.* Erika: Well, now I know why a lot of my friends are guys. ^_^;;; Ellie: *Hits me with slipper* YOU SICKO!!! XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDd Mildred: *Laughing so hard.*
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Post by Deleted on Dec 15, 2005 20:31:43 GMT -5
Kevin: Hey Sammy dawg. Me: ...Hi? Kevin: Are you wondering why I'm saying 'dawg' dawg? Me: Yeah. Kevin: Jennifer let me look at her magazine dawg. I took this test and it said I have to end all my sentences with 'dawg' for the next hour dawg. Me: ...
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Post by Czenko on Dec 15, 2005 21:03:58 GMT -5
I have no idea why this one was so funny.
Setting: Beach person: Look at me, I'm pale. Me: You're not the only one. I'm even paler. other person: Yeah, we are all pretty pale. Person: Yeah, except for Blaze (Blaze is a black Chihuahua) other person: *bursts out laughing* Me: Huh, what's so funny? Other person: Blaze is...black. *continues laughing like crazy. person: ... *giggle* Me: Yeah, and Jinx is the palest (my west highland white terrior). other person: *laughs even harder* Me and person: ...(she's gone crazy)
Why was that funny? I have no clue.
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Post by Cow-winkle on Dec 17, 2005 11:57:51 GMT -5
Mom: Good job in the piano recital tonight! Dad: Yes, you have a good ear. Me: What? Dad: I said you have a good... D'OH, I walked right into that one!
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Post by Spot on Dec 17, 2005 14:41:20 GMT -5
Spot: *hiccup* Dad: Drunk! Spot: why the fail? XD *hiccup*
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