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Post by Patrick (Forumerly Known As) on Nov 30, 2005 15:54:58 GMT -5
My aunt and uncle has asked me to to send them a list of things I might like for Christmas. From: (Patrick' email here) Subject: Christmas 2005 Body: I finally remembered! =D From: (Aunt & Uncle's email address here) Subject: RE: Christmas 2005 Body: Uh…………………..too bad you didn’t attach the friggin thing!!!!! Do you have alzheimers? Well do u? ... Whoops
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Post by Cow-winkle on Nov 30, 2005 21:02:12 GMT -5
Mrs Fenner: *Sigh* Does ANYONE know what an adverb is? Student: Uh, a word that describes a noun? Mrs Fenner: No. Me: *Raises hand* A word that modifies an verb, an adjective, or another adverb. Class: *Applauds*
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Post by bag on Nov 30, 2005 21:08:12 GMT -5
This really isn't a quote, but oh well. This was from a guild post when my friend said he was quitting neopets. It started as... "Noooo! Nathan please don't leave!!!" But then, this part: First, I put by accident, then by accident, and finally, as the correct one.
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Post by Patrick (Forumerly Known As) on Nov 30, 2005 21:21:45 GMT -5
Mrs Fenner: *Sigh* Does ANYONE know what an adverb is? Student: Uh, a word that describes a noun? Mrs Fenner: No. Me: *Raises hand* A word that modifies an verb, an adjective, or another adverb. Class: *Applauds* That happens here all the time. Teacher: *drops his pen* Class: *applauds* ---- These aren't THAT funny ---- Mrs. D: *shows a video on sexual reproduction* Video: (all that stuff about sex cells, chromosomes) Class: *gigglegiggle* (after school) Me: You know, Biology today was the hit of the day, you would've sworn that China dropped a laughing gas bomb... Mrs. D: And why is that? Me: Oh, take a wild guess... Mrs. D: Oh, of course... See, I've passed that stage in my life... Me: Oh, I'll bet you have... ----- There was a competition for the Food Pantry to see who could bring in the most. Mrs D had a measly 5 cans or so, Mrs E, my homeroom, had about 30. Mrs D: *to random students* We need food! Bring that can in! here!!!Me: (on term paper): Hey, Mrs D, you could use that robot deer as your food if you don't mind gutting it... Reply: I have enough trouble cooking hamburgers!
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Post by Deleted on Nov 30, 2005 21:44:19 GMT -5
(Discussing Oscar Wilde) Emily: So, he's sad, but gay people... Connor: They don't have feelings, right?
Ellie: Hey, bebes, would you like to go up my shirt? Erika:...That could mean one of 3 things. Mildred: AH! THE RAT IS IN MY SHIRT!! Erika: That could meqan one of 3 things. Ellie: NO! RATTIES< GET OFF OF EACH OTHER! Erika and Mildred (in usion): That could mean 1 of 3 things. (It went on like this for awhile.)
Science teacher: If you're winter prince or princess, you get cutsies in the lunchline for a month, you get some free movie passes, and you get a crown. Erika: Wait, is the crown...SHINEY!?! Science teacher: A shiney crown. Erika: SHINEYSHINEYSHINEY!!!
Teacher: Erika? Erika: Baloba...wha??? Everyone: BALOGNA!!!
Teacher: Here's Cory's test...he did better thsn I expected! Cory: Thanks...hey, wait, what's THAT supposed to mean!?!
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Post by Deleted on Nov 30, 2005 21:54:10 GMT -5
Vikki: *singing* To the windows! To the kitchen! Put hot sauce on my hi Sammy. Me: Xanthe, you so wish you are Lauren. Xanthe: Me: I'm going down. *falls off the stage* Micaela: Who's that? *referring to my Queen of DP picture* Me: Oh, that's me. You see, I named myself the Queen of DP since I'm like the only one who watches Danny Phantom in this school. Micaela: I watch Danny Phantom. Me: Then you can be my princess. Micaela: Cool. ^__^ Me: But, just remember. I adopted you. Micaela: ...
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Post by Elcie on Dec 1, 2005 17:16:50 GMT -5
Mrs. D: *shows a video on sexual reproduction* Video: (all that stuff about sex cells, chromosomes) Class: *gigglegiggle* That happened in my class too. XD Oh, and today in band: Andrew: I'm tired of talking about love, sex and romance... Chris: *turns around* What was that? Andrew: Sex, sex, sex, sex! Megan: Oh, yeah! We're seniors, we can say it all we want! >D
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Post by Patrick (Forumerly Known As) on Dec 1, 2005 17:46:59 GMT -5
I won a little award thing... Mrs S: Congratulations, Patrick! Me: Thank you =D Mr. A: Congratulations, Mr. -----! Me: Thank you! Mrs D: (same one as before) Congratulations, Patrick! Me: -_- Congratulations to you for being the third person to congratulate me in ten seconds... Mrs D: XD I take it all back, then... Me: You conformist, you... Mrs: XDDD I don't want to be a conformist, though... (next day) Me: (in passing) *coughconformistcough* (today) Me: C- Mrs D: No! I'm a... erm, survivalist. Is that a word that's not a word... We'll make it a word.... Me: Why not? *pulls out thesaurus* Antonyms for conform- differ, disagree... You'll be a differential... ----- XDD Yeah, that's about as funny as the "Trouble cooking hamburgers? You'll be getting a George Foreman grill for Christmas"
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Post by Cow-winkle on Dec 1, 2005 18:52:30 GMT -5
Mrs Fenner: *Sigh* Does ANYONE know what an adverb is? Student: Uh, a word that describes a noun? Mrs Fenner: No. Me: *Raises hand* A word that modifies an verb, an adjective, or another adverb. Class: *Applauds* That happens here all the time. Teacher: *drops his pen* Class: *applauds* Me: You know, Biology today was the hit of the day, you would've sworn that China dropped a laughing gas bomb... Mrs. D: And why is that? Me: Oh, take a wild guess... Mrs. D: Oh, of course... See, I've passed that stage in my life... Me: Oh, I'll bet you have... Yeah, but I was the only one who was actually right. And to think all my friends teased me for watching Schoolhouse Rock! I kept reading that second one as "Mrs D'oh"... I have to stop watching The Simpsons! And now onto the quote(s) of the day... Olivia: I'll never need math in life! Mr McKinnon: Yes you will! Olivia: No I won't! Me: It depends. What job do you want to have? Olivia: I want to be a flight attendant. Flight attendants don't need to know math, because they have those calculators with them! Me: Actually, you would have to know the... Olivia: And don't start with the smart comebacks! --- Keehan: Ben! Me: (My first name is "Ben", incase you didn't know) Yes? Keehan: I need a pen. Me: Yes? Keehan: I said, I need a pen! Me: Yes? Keehan: PEN, not BEN! Me: Oh, sorry. --- Mrs Fenner: Remember to study for the test *looking especially at me* so that you don't get a lousy score. ((I didn't think it was so funny at the time, of course...))
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Post by bag on Dec 1, 2005 20:37:51 GMT -5
Kevin, a freind of mine (in a gangsta-like voice): Yo, playa! What is up? (I find this hysterical.)
My cousin (commenting about omnipresent radio host Delilah): It's Delilah for the next month and a half! (Equally as hysterical).
My sister: A cyst is this lump that grows and then pops, grows, then pops, grows then pops, and it keeps on growing and pooping...
Weird board topic title: Meet my pooka!
My psychotic semi-friend Barbra: Are you menopausal? (She said this when I told her I had stomach cramps, I had no idea why she though I had menopause.)
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Post by rmuecke on Dec 2, 2005 0:19:18 GMT -5
(These were from my Fibres and Fabrics class today.)
Henrietta: Hey look! We’re in a… a… what’s that thing called? You know, like a line where you’re, like, producing stuff? Me (sarcastically): A production line? Henrietta (excitedly): That’s it!
(Bear in mind that she’s asked that same question at least once a week)
(Vic was drawing a really, really random picture for me)
Me: What on earth is that – a J? Why are you drawing the letter J on my picture? Vic: That’s not a J! It’s a worm! Me: With arms? Vic: No! That’s its head. Me: Riiiight. And what are those? Vic: They’re wings! Me: What, a flying worm? Vic: Yep! Mister Wormie FLYING! Me: And… what’s that? Vic: A starfish with an iPod! Me: You should have it listening to the Jaws theme! Vic: Righto! *draws “Jaws theme” next to the iPod* Me: You know, this picture really ought to have a name… Vic: Mm, yeah, you’re right. How about, “The life beyond the sand”? Me: It should be, “The REAL life beyond the sand!” Vic: And the underwater world needs a sign… Me: It should say, “Welcome to Freakville!” Vic: *writes Freakville as Freekville* Oops… well, let’s have a fish doing graffiti over the F so it says, “Welcome to Reekville!”
This went on, and on, and on…
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Post by Deleted on Dec 2, 2005 2:06:39 GMT -5
Random kid: omg IT'S SNOWING!!! Everyone (except me and Ellie): *Scream bloody murder.* Mr.H: OK. ANYONE WHO SCREAMS OR TALKS ABOUT THE SNOW, GETS AN NTO. Some kid who I forgot who they were:...SNOW. Mr.H: THAT'S ONE NTO!!! Connor:...SNOW. Mr.H: TWO NTO'S, WHO'S NEXT!?! Everyone one: *S'sTFU.* - Everyone: Chatter about who our guest speaker was.* Erika: *Stands on chair and cups hands over mouth.* ATTENTION PEOPLE. THE GUEST STAR IS GOD, AND GOD IS GUEST STARRING. Ian: XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD Mr.L:*Comes in.* Erika: Eh, not God but close enough... - Mr.H: *Does something.* Everyone: *Laughs.* Mr.H: STOP LAUGHING! D: Jack: We're not laughing at you, we're laughing with you! Erika: No, Mr.H, he's lying, we ARE laughing at you. Don't listen to him. - Darcy: OK, Rachel, just pretend like you're working, and I'll take a picture of you. - Mr.V: Now, Basketball is cancelled, and the glass fusing class after school is cancelled. The other class is still going to be held today, though. And lastly, we want you all to have a great afternoon in the snow. That is all. Larissa:...They totally payed him to say that last bit. Everyone who heard: *Agrees.* - Ellie: HOLY CRAP. HOW LONG HAVE YOU HAD AN IPOD!?! Erika: 1 year. Ellie: *Puts ipod on pause and plays with the click wheel.* (Note: I'm wearing the headphones.) Erika: Just...don't press play.... Ellie: Ok. *Plays with clickwheel and accidently presses the pause/play button.* Erika: ASDFGHJKL;'*Jumps and screams. Then rips earbuds out.* Mildred: XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD Ellie: *Laughing and whining at the same time>* Oh my God, Erika!!! I'm so sorry, I didn't know what that'd do!!! Erika: I FREAKING TOLD YOU NOT TO PRESS PLAY. >=O
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Post by ecicca on Dec 2, 2005 9:11:37 GMT -5
Mrs. D: *shows a video on sexual reproduction* Video: (all that stuff about sex cells, chromosomes) Class: *gigglegiggle* That happened in my class too. XD Oh, and today in band: Andrew: I'm tired of talking about love, sex and romance... Chris: *turns around* What was that? Andrew: Sex, sex, sex, sex! Megan: Oh, yeah! We're seniors, we can say it all we want! >D The teacher was sorting out the sexual reproduction thingy video, and she rewinded past a naked woman... Half the class: WOO! Teacher: I'm sorry, but the video won't work, so we can't watch it. Half the class: NOOOOOOOOOO! awww...
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Post by Cow-winkle on Dec 2, 2005 10:36:54 GMT -5
That happened in my class too. XD Oh, and today in band: Andrew: I'm tired of talking about love, sex and romance... Chris: *turns around* What was that? Andrew: Sex, sex, sex, sex! Megan: Oh, yeah! We're seniors, we can say it all we want! >D The teacher was sorting out the sexual reproduction thingy video, and she rewinded past a naked woman... Half the class: WOO! Teacher: I'm sorry, but the video won't work, so we can't watch it. Half the class: NOOOOOOOOOO! awww... Me ((In a class debate)): I think that people of both genders should be able to have most jobs, but in the cases of, for example, clothing models or doctors dealing with sexual organs... Rest of the class: *Gigglegiggle* Me: Oh, grow up! --- Garret: I like some of those old NES and Famicom games, especially Final Fantasy IIIj. Me: I've always liked Tetris as well. Garret: Nothing can be compared to Tetris. Tetris rocks, it's in a league of its own. --- Adam: I wonder what "FOX" stands for... Me: I guess it's just a name they thought of. Adam: Why did they call it "20th Century Fox"? Me: I guess it's just a really advanced fox.
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Post by Patrick (Forumerly Known As) on Dec 2, 2005 15:26:06 GMT -5
Cow you reminded me:
Mr G: You will need math in life. Amanda: No, I won't! Mr G: What do you want to be, then? Amanda: A math teacher.
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