Thank you, NTWF, for helping me through it
Dec 10, 2023 19:43:18 GMT -5
Killix, Huntress, and 13 more like this
Post by Gelquie on Dec 10, 2023 19:43:18 GMT -5
So I've been wanting to make this post for a while, and half was looking for the right words and half procrastinated.
So basically, you probably heard a lot last month of how I got sick with Covid. Like, really sick. Or at least sick enough that I was seriously worried for my heath and long-term well-being. And even before that, my mental health hasn't been the greatest. I won't promise it'll be good from here on, but... well, I'll get into that.
Anyway, I talked about it a lot on the Discord and in my diary. And for the former, I would've totally understood if you told me to stop. But a lot of you were very supportive, or at least not anti-supportive. I was given well wishes in text while not going too hard on medical opinions (I get it, but we're all different and not doctors, which you understood). When people were pushing on either help for that or something else, it was all with the intent of wanting to help me get better, while also listening and understanding where I was coming from.
And there were voice chats where people were helpful. When I had a coughing fit when it was my turn to talk, people were very patient. When I couldn't say a line in the acute phase of my illness, people stepped up and said it for me, and it was really fun to hear their takes on how they said the line. In casual chats, we were able to, well, talk casually about it, and still be able to make light so it wasn't All Gloom. And you pushed me to seek medical care when it was clear I needed it and was procrastinating purely out of habit or unwarranted fears. Again, while still listening to me and understanding where I was coming from, and not being condescending.
Or for less acute moments, the casual chats helped get my mind off of things, but I was still able to bring up a thing and have it be treated casually and with understanding, and still being able to shift back to the regular programming of random chats. It's good flexibility.
Basically, I felt extremely supported and listened to; I felt like I had a community. I felt there were people I could trust. That's something that's hard for me, be it from myself or from too many or significant bad experiences. Going back to the mental health thing, I feel like I really learned from that. I can't promise I won't go back to old habits or forget that. Heck, I'm feeling myself going back to old habits right now. (It's why I wanted to post this now.) But for those who were supportive, this would be a good reminder of that. I don't think I would've ever brought myself to see a doctor and therapist anytime soon without that consideration and support, because honestly, I know myself. I'm still in the middle of that, and obviously it's not as acute as I'm mostly recovered and just regaining strength. But some of you are still reminding me, and I know it's from a place of support. Maybe one day I'll be better about it without needing the pushes, but for now.
Thank you. So much. This really meant a lot to me. I'm just disappointed that I may not be able to give the same level of support in return, especially during the acute phase and even in beginning recovery when I know some of you were struggling too and just did not have the energy at the time. But it doesn't mean I can't try.
(And I know friendships aren't necessarily transactional. But I feel bad if I don't try to show support with support.)
Anyway, I can't make promises on something so loose. But I do want to try. And I can start by thanking you. Whether it was in Discord, on the forum, or even some other message on some other place. Hearing it from you all meant so much to me.
And people who weren't part of that, well, you also didn't get onto me in a non-constructive way during that time, and I'll take that too! Community is an atmosphere of an array of types, not solely made up of one type of person. If the atmosphere is generally supportive and with most people listening to me or at least not being a detriment, that overall adds to a positive.
I'm stubborn as a mule. And I have no talent in how to people beyond learning that intellectually. Those are just flaws I have. I've had bad experiences and lessons in life I can't forget, and I'll definitely go back to some old habits and forget things. I'm already starting to. But maybe by writing this down and communicating this to you all, I can help this stand, at least as a light in my general sea of Drama. And believe me when I say that having even that one light is significant. Especially for this story in progress.
Enough of me.
Thank you.
(Don't feel an obligation to reply if you wouldn't otherwise! I just wanted to say it. Have a lovely day.)
So basically, you probably heard a lot last month of how I got sick with Covid. Like, really sick. Or at least sick enough that I was seriously worried for my heath and long-term well-being. And even before that, my mental health hasn't been the greatest. I won't promise it'll be good from here on, but... well, I'll get into that.
Anyway, I talked about it a lot on the Discord and in my diary. And for the former, I would've totally understood if you told me to stop. But a lot of you were very supportive, or at least not anti-supportive. I was given well wishes in text while not going too hard on medical opinions (I get it, but we're all different and not doctors, which you understood). When people were pushing on either help for that or something else, it was all with the intent of wanting to help me get better, while also listening and understanding where I was coming from.
And there were voice chats where people were helpful. When I had a coughing fit when it was my turn to talk, people were very patient. When I couldn't say a line in the acute phase of my illness, people stepped up and said it for me, and it was really fun to hear their takes on how they said the line. In casual chats, we were able to, well, talk casually about it, and still be able to make light so it wasn't All Gloom. And you pushed me to seek medical care when it was clear I needed it and was procrastinating purely out of habit or unwarranted fears. Again, while still listening to me and understanding where I was coming from, and not being condescending.
Or for less acute moments, the casual chats helped get my mind off of things, but I was still able to bring up a thing and have it be treated casually and with understanding, and still being able to shift back to the regular programming of random chats. It's good flexibility.
Basically, I felt extremely supported and listened to; I felt like I had a community. I felt there were people I could trust. That's something that's hard for me, be it from myself or from too many or significant bad experiences. Going back to the mental health thing, I feel like I really learned from that. I can't promise I won't go back to old habits or forget that. Heck, I'm feeling myself going back to old habits right now. (It's why I wanted to post this now.) But for those who were supportive, this would be a good reminder of that. I don't think I would've ever brought myself to see a doctor and therapist anytime soon without that consideration and support, because honestly, I know myself. I'm still in the middle of that, and obviously it's not as acute as I'm mostly recovered and just regaining strength. But some of you are still reminding me, and I know it's from a place of support. Maybe one day I'll be better about it without needing the pushes, but for now.
Thank you. So much. This really meant a lot to me. I'm just disappointed that I may not be able to give the same level of support in return, especially during the acute phase and even in beginning recovery when I know some of you were struggling too and just did not have the energy at the time. But it doesn't mean I can't try.
(And I know friendships aren't necessarily transactional. But I feel bad if I don't try to show support with support.)
Anyway, I can't make promises on something so loose. But I do want to try. And I can start by thanking you. Whether it was in Discord, on the forum, or even some other message on some other place. Hearing it from you all meant so much to me.
And people who weren't part of that, well, you also didn't get onto me in a non-constructive way during that time, and I'll take that too! Community is an atmosphere of an array of types, not solely made up of one type of person. If the atmosphere is generally supportive and with most people listening to me or at least not being a detriment, that overall adds to a positive.
I'm stubborn as a mule. And I have no talent in how to people beyond learning that intellectually. Those are just flaws I have. I've had bad experiences and lessons in life I can't forget, and I'll definitely go back to some old habits and forget things. I'm already starting to. But maybe by writing this down and communicating this to you all, I can help this stand, at least as a light in my general sea of Drama. And believe me when I say that having even that one light is significant. Especially for this story in progress.
Enough of me.
Thank you.
(Don't feel an obligation to reply if you wouldn't otherwise! I just wanted to say it. Have a lovely day.)
