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Post by Zoey on Sept 22, 2015 20:01:52 GMT -5
Obtained enough feedback to know what to change now. Thanks so much, everyone!  *final product will be revealed whenever it's published, WHOOO!* |
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Post by Twillie on Sept 22, 2015 20:06:45 GMT -5
I think the joke comes across just fine  |
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Post by Rabbit ♠ on Sept 22, 2015 20:11:36 GMT -5
I think it'll be fine.
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Post by Zoey on Sept 22, 2015 20:11:53 GMT -5
I think the joke comes across just fine Thanks! I hope that's the general consensus. ^.^ |
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Post by Moni on Sept 22, 2015 20:27:55 GMT -5
Yes, yes she will, pretty easy to see.
CQ knows at least a bit of the *puts on nerd glasses* LOOOORE of the site, so the joke should be fairly obvious.
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Post by June Scarlet on Sept 22, 2015 20:30:37 GMT -5
Um, I mean, I get the joke, but I think it'd be both clearer and more funny if you had a panel inbetween showing them trading jackets or whatever. Maybe putting on fur dye, or whatever made their fur color switch. Or maybe not, maybe the punchline depends on not knowing what's coming before it happens, of trying to figure out why Nabile is wearing Hanso's hair. I'd have to think about it.
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Post by Zoey on Sept 22, 2015 20:33:06 GMT -5
MoniLOOOORE. Okee-dokes! June ScarletYeah, I was considering that and wondering if it was necessary or extraneous. Maybe I'll work on squeezing in another panel and seeing how it looks next to the original!
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Caylista
Frequent Visitor
Mooncalf
I can't believe you would argue in the face of Ultimate Reality.
Posts: 229 
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Post by Caylista on Sept 22, 2015 23:43:55 GMT -5
I personally found the pacing fine, in that I wouldn't say there would have to be a third panel in between, though it could be funny if you did a little doodle to illustrate the switch, or maybe even just a big 'SWITCH!' functioning as the in-between panel. But like I said, I still don't see any necessity for it, and the joke works fine without it, when I read it. In fact, the only thing that strikes me as odd is that while Hanso instigates the switch, he seems anxious about it in the second panel. So, I might just suggest (without knowing how this headcanon convo went down, of course) that Nabile be the one to say the first line, implying that she was the one to instigate it, even if Hanso was thinking the same. I hope that makes sense! And of course, it's just my two cents, so... yeah. x'D //shuffles off awkwardly and tries not to ruin other peoples' jokes ((Also, you might have missed drawnig their horns a few times, and Jazan's guyliner, but that's it! Otherwise, I definitely find the joke to be funny/obvious. )) |
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Post by Zoey on Sept 23, 2015 0:44:17 GMT -5
I personally found the pacing fine, in that I wouldn't say there would have to be a third panel in between, though it could be funny if you did a little doodle to illustrate the switch, or maybe even just a big 'SWITCH!' functioning as the in-between panel. But like I said, I still don't see any necessity for it, and the joke works fine without it, when I read it. In fact, the only thing that strikes me as odd is that while Hanso instigates the switch, he seems anxious about it in the second panel. So, I might just suggest (without knowing how this headcanon convo went down, of course) that Nabile be the one to say the first line, implying that she was the one to instigate it, even if Hanso was thinking the same. I hope that makes sense! And of course, it's just my two cents, so... yeah. x'D //shuffles off awkwardly and tries not to ruin other peoples' jokes ((Also, you might have missed drawnig their horns a few times, and Jazan's guyliner, but that's it! Otherwise, I definitely find the joke to be funny/obvious. )) Wowza, thanks for the detailed response! I'll look over the script again... my impression was that whoever instigated the idea didn't really matter, but that Hanso was nervous because he wasn't sure if Jazan would buy the disguise or not... but I can totally see how that doesn't flow. I do have an idea for an in-between panel, and it might end up being a quirky little extra for the comic. Oh, the horns. Hanso's I gave up on entirely because it didn't seem like they were all that prominent in the Faerieland Ruins comics, but Nabile's I missed. *sobs* And yes, forgot to put in Jazan's magically schwingy-ding guyliner. Thanks again! Think I'll take down the comic and re-title the thread now; feel like I've gotten sufficient feedback on what to change. ^.^ Final product will be revealed... whenever it's published! XD |
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*final product will be revealed whenever it's published, WHOOO!*
