Post by DanDan on Jun 30, 2014 14:58:04 GMT -5
Hi y'all. So, a friend and I wrote a series for the NT, but it keeps getting refused for the following reason:
But the problem is -- it doesn't matter how much I read the series, I can't find what's wrong with it (I must be dumb). That's why I need your help. I need someone to read my series and point out the mistakes, so I can correct them. Any help is appreciated.
Five hundred feet below Moltara’s surface, two Kacheeks quietly plotted their overly rehearsed plan. The youngest of them, Rhoman, felt uneasy, with his belly queasy.
“Are you sure?” he asked his master.
“Aren’t you?” the master replied. “We’ve been through all this trouble to get what we wanted and you wanna back down?” his tone implied that he didn’t do well with cravens.
“No, not at all my master,” Rhoman lowered his head.
Vaughn, the master, however, felt like nothing could beat him today. Finally, after years of planning, the day to put things in motion had finally come. His dearly beseeched revenge was upon him, and nothing would be able to stop him now.
“Pass me the key, Rhoman,” he ordered.
Rhoman carefully picked up the golden key from the case in which it was kept. The gilded surface had sculptures all over it: old drawings of ancient, magical Neopians. Grabbing hold of it, Vaughn felt a surge of power like never before. It really is magical, he thought, with his hands shaking. Without hesitating, he approached the shiny machine before him and placed the key on the lock. Every single obsidian on the five-feet-tall device started emanating a bright, sparkly light. Vaughn cackled.
“It’s working, Rhoman!”
Carefully, he turned the key. A churning sound filled the Kacheeks’ ears. The white light grew so strong it hurt their eyes. From the gap on the top of the device, dry ice smoke started vaporizing its way up, entering the pipes above through the fend Vaughn had created on them earlier.
“Now what?” Rhoman’s voice was soft, a quivering whisper.
“Now we wait,” Vaughn’s determination showed on his ambitious tone. “And after that, we get back what’s rightfully ours.”
***
Jon woke up feeling extremely happy. Today’s the day, he thought, joyfully. He jumped out of bed and reached for the calendar atop the bedside table. With a red sharpie, he crossed the 24th day of the month of Storing, today, his birthday and the day he would finally receive his long awaited gift. Flapping his wings out of his room, he straightly ran into his parents’. They were still asleep, but Jon’s excitement shouts did a good job waking them up.
“Son, it’s 6 a.m.,” complained the Kougra.
“I know dad, but we gotta go! You know I want to spend my birthday looking just like you!” he jumped on their bed, the mattress sinking.
“Don’t you worry, darling,” he felt his mom’s Kougra paws soft touch drawing him in and getting tighter by the second. “You are already like us.”
“No, mom, I’m not. I’m green and you guys are Magma! I wanna be like you!”
His dad chuckled.
“Happy birthday, my boy.”
Jon rejoiced that moment with his parents. It still looked like incredibly unreal that only one year ago, he was suffering at the pound without anyone to tend to him. When they told him a family wanted to take him home, he didn’t even believe it. By then, he was miserable enough to deem himself unworthy of love and caring. But their foster parents proved him wrong. They brought him all the way down to Moltara and started raising him the best way possible.
When Jon first arrived in Moltara, ten months ago, he felt like he didn’t belong. The walls were damp and cavern-y, it was always too hot and people weren’t that gentle, especially to him, a green Shoyru, but, as the days went by, he learned about their culture, their history and, most important, felt for the first time of his life like he belonged. Then, he knew he needed to take one step further to truly becoming a Moltaran - he needed to take a dip into the lava pool and be reborn as a son of Magma.
He’d been nagging at his parents to take him there for months now, but they kept avoiding it because they didn’t want him to lose what made him stand out. However, Jon’s insistence finally broke on through, and they agreed that on Jon’s tenth birthday, they would take him down there and let him go through with it.
“So, when are we going?” he asked anxiously. He couldn’t wait to see how he would look like covered with Magma.
“Well, how about after birthday breakfast?” his dad got out of bed, smiling. “I’m gonna make us something delicious, you wait here with your mom. We eat, and then we go. Is that okay with you?”
“More than okay! I want Magma Blaster Cereal! And a magma slushie! Ohh, and...”
“Don’t worry,” his dad tranquilized him. “I’ve got it covered!”
When Gale left, Jon looked up to his mother. She was giving him the greatest of smiles. Jenna couldn’t believe how lucky she was that she adopted such a beautiful son, a son so brave, with a lot of strength of character, honest and tender. It felt like winning the lottery. It was her desire that they adopted a kid from Neopia Central, the land where her and Gale grew up. Upon Moltara’s discovery, they moved in to escape from their lives and start fresh.
Gale came back with a tray filled with goodies: a bowl filled to the top with crunchy cereal that resembled lava rock, a magma slushie, coffee, fruits, bread and eggs. Jon wolfed down his breakfast, washing it with long gulps of the hot beverage he liked so much. Actually, he ate so fast that when he was done, he felt dizzy and about to explode.
“Okay, now can we go?”
Jenna and Gale exchanged a longing look, and nodded together.
It took no more than five minutes for Jon to get ready and wait for his parents at the door. He looked at the house across the street, the Turner’s house. Sarah and Paul Turner were his Draik best friends. He wished they were awake to see him transform. Well, why not wake them up?, he thought cheerfully. Crossing the street rapidly, he rapped his closed fist against their door six times.
Their mom, Mrs. Luna Turner, opened up, groggy and scratching her eyes. She was wearing a pink robe and her hair was completely disheveled.
“Jon? Is everything alright?” she harrumphed twice to fix her hoarse voice.
“Yeah! Are Sarah and Paul awake? I’m going down to the Magma Pool and I wanted them to come with me. It’s my birthday today, Mrs. L!”
“Oh, sweetheart, I didn’t know that. Do you want to come on in? I’ll get them ready.”
“No, I actually have to wait out here for my parents. Can you hurry them up, please?”
Luna smiled, “Of course.”
When Jon’s parents came out of the house, locking it, they were surprised to find their son sitting on the neighbor’s lawn. Jon hurried back across the street to explain himself.
“Hi! I decided that I want Sarah and Paul to watch me do it!” he smirked.
“Ooh, that’s nice, dear,” said Jenna, caressing her son’s head.
The Turners didn’t take long. Jon was surprised to acknowledge that their mom was tagging along with them. Luna was wearing a different and more sophisticated robe, a brown, leather one and her usual half-moon glasses. Sarah and Paul wore the same, white outfit. They were twins and they loved looking alike.
Two parties were instantly formed: the children’s one that took the lead, and the adults that guarded the rear. Jon trotted cheerfully through the streets he already knew by heart, telling his best friends all about his days in the pound. What better moment to recollect the worst parts of life than the one when you feel complete?
When the Magma Pool came into view, Jon started jumping around and hooping in the air. Luna giggled at the sight of it. His flipping happiness was so engrossing no one could look away or not feel contaminated. Every step closer made the little Shoyru’s heart thump faster against his chest. It was finally here, the moment he would truly feel like another person. He would emerge another person, letting his troublesome past sink far enough, burning all the way down. It was time.
“Finally gonna take a dip, Jon?” asked the magma pool guard. Everyone knew about Jon’s desire to do it, he was a big blabbermouth.
“Yes! I will!”
“You deserve it, buddy,” the guard patted him on the back. “Happy birthday!”
“Thank you. Can I pass, please?”
“Well, you do know only true Moltarans at heart can get through, right?” the guard’s stern voice almost made Jon’s heart stop. “And no one deserves it more than you do,” he grinned and cleared the path.
Jon stood at the border. The lava wasn’t bubbly today as he remembered, but it didn’t matter. He looked up and took a deep breath.
“Go Jon!” cheered his parents.
“Go for it, buddy!”
“You go, dear, go!”
Feeling blessed and overjoyed, he leaped into the pool. He instantly sunk down, but the whole ride was nothing like he expected. Somehow, the lava felt colder than he would have thought. The liquid didn’t seem so dense and not at all that orange underneath. Puzzled, he came back up for air, and he was greeted with gasps from his friends and confused mutterings. The first person he saw was the guard. His countenance was severe and quizzical, whereas his parents, now on the edge of the pool, looked worried.
“What?”
“Jon...” Paul began, shifting closer to the edge as well. He didn’t know how to finish.
Knowing something was obviously off he looked down, staring at his own hands. They were still green.
“It didn’t work!” he muttered to himself, tears streaming down his cheek. “Mom, dad,” he looked up, tearing up. “It didn’t work!”
The way back home was every bit as different. Jon forced himself to keep on walking, even though everything he wanted to was sit and cry. He had no idea why he didn’t turn Magma. Everyone who jumped in did. He feared this was yet another refusal. Somehow, Moltara didn’t want him the same way he wanted it. Those looming fears stroke his heart once again and despair and loneliness kicked in. Even with Paul and Sarah trying hard to cheer him up, he felt empty inside.
When he got home, away from his best friends, he finally allowed himself to bellow, put it all out and have the tantrum he was containing all along.
“Why did that happen to me, mom?” he shouted. “What have I ever done to deserve this much suffering?”
“Sweetie, it is not your fault,” his mom hugged him. “It is not. Maybe the whole place is jinxed in some way, I don’t know...”
“You’re telling me lies!” he tried to break himself free from Jenna’s embrace. “You heard the guard. I’m not a true Moltaran, I don’t belong here!”
“Jon, listen to me,” his father was standing next to him. “You belong with us. And this is your home as much as it is ours. We came from Neopia as well, remember? The pool didn’t reject us! There’s something wrong going on here, and we’re going to fix it.”
“Are we, dad?” whenever he got too mad, Jon turned to sarcasm to try and shield himself from pain. “Do tell me how we are ever going to do that!”
“Hey, don’t lash out on your dad,” Jenna warned him. “This is no one’s fault, especially not ours,” she stroke his head.
“Well, mom, I beg to disagree. Had you taken me there sooner, maybe it would have worked. But no, you had to wait for no reason at all! You had to punish me!”
He finally thrashed himself free and ran to his bedroom. Locking the door, he crammed himself beneath the layers of blankets and cried himself to sleep.
When he woke up, night had fallen. Feeling embarrassed, he ran out of his bedroom to apologize for his childish and overall ungrateful behavior, but his parents were nowhere to be found. He checked their bedroom, the kitchen and the bathroom, but didn’t find them anywhere. The only place left to check was the dungeon, but he saw no reason for them to be down there. When he opened the door, a sweeping chilly breeze flustered him and made him dizzy. The dungeon was literally freezing. The walls were covered by a moss-like ice layer that sparkled. He ventured one step down the stairs, but he felt his legs starting to freeze. The steps, also covered in ice, felt so wintry to the touch it threatened to burn Jon. He instantly jumped out of there and closed the door.
“MOM! DAD!” fear was dominating him. Why was the dungeon frozen? Things don’t freeze in Moltara. Not here. The place was completely absent from the likes of seasonal weather. “MOM! WHERE ARE YOU GUYS?”
Afraid and with nothing else to do, he ran outside and across the street to enlist Luna’s help. He slammed his fist on the door so strongly that his hand hurt.
“Jon?” Luna’s eyes were engorged. “What’s going on?”
“My parents disappeared!”
“What?” she sounded high-pitched.
“They simply disappeared! I woke up and they were nowhere to be found. And besides, the dungeon... It is freezing!”
“What do you mean by that?” she scoffed.
“The dungeon... It is completely covered in ice, like there was a snow storm in there, I don’t know, Luna... But I’m worried and I need your help.”
“Come on in, we’ll think this through.”
She closed the door behind him. Sarah came running into the living room.
“Thought I heard your voice, Jon!” she smiled.
“Sweetheart, can you go on the bedroom and get me everything we bought for that Terror Mountain tour we went to last year?”
“You mean coats?” she asked, bewildered.
“Yes, please.”
“Why do we need coats?” Jon asked.
“Well, if your dungeon’s frozen we need to go down there and see what caused it. Most likely we’ll be needing coats.”
“Yeah, you’re right... Luna, would you mind checking your own dungeon?” Jon had this feeling that the weird occurrence was not a random event or anything of the like. His intuition was telling him that there was more to the story.
First the cold lava, now icy walls... Definitely there was more. He wanted badly to find his parents and apologize. They were right all along. Something needed to be fixed.
“Oh my God!” Luna exclaimed.
Sarah and Paul came running into the room.
“What?” they asked in unison.
“The dungeon’s frozen!”
Jon approached. It looked just like his house’s.
“Cool!” Paul tried to run in, but his mom blocked his way.
“Oi! You’re not going there,” she smirked. “The same thing’s happened to Jon’s house, and his parents are missing. We have no idea what’s going on, so, for now, let’s try and stay away from this mysterious blossoming snow, ok?”
“Get me the coats,” Jon demanded.
“What are you going to do?” Luna inquired.
“I’m going down my house’s dungeon to see if my parents are down there.”
“You’re not going! Jon, don’t you see that we have no idea what this is? You’ll be getting yourself into trouble.”
“Luna, I appreciate your concern, but I need to know.”
He dressed himself in fur, sweatpants and Snowager-shaped slippers. He went back to his house with Luna, Sarah and Paul on his trail. To his surprise, some small parts of the tiles were already icy-white. The freezing process was slowly progressing. He opened the door once again, and the breeze now felt like a tornado of chills. He looked back to his friends once more.
“Wish me luck…”
“I want to go down with him!” Paul protested.
“Yeah, but you’re not!” Luna held him steady.
On the fifth step, Jon started shaking so violently that he lost balance and fell. Rolling down the flight of steps, he ended up face down on the ice block that used to be a magma rock. However, when he tried to stand up, he couldn’t. His entire body was glued to the surface, and the icy started to grow on top of his body, sealing him to the stone.
“Help!” he pleaded.
His neck was the only part of his body he could still move. He looked left and had a horrifying surprise: his parents freezing statues, beneath one of the pipes. They were both looking up the minute they froze, and Thom noticed that pipes were parted halfway. From there, steam was oozing. He thrashed against the rock, but it was no use. The ice wouldn’t give way and there was no way of breaking free.
Suddenly, Jon felt something break through frost, enough to set him free. It was Paul, holding an Obsidian dagger. Both of them raced upstairs and locked the door behind them. Luna was looking flabbergasted and breathless:
“Paul, I...”
“I wasn’t about to let my friend freeze to death, mom!”
“I saw them,” tears were once again rolling down Jon’s face. This was definitely the worst birthday ever. “My parents. They froze.”
“Did you see anything else?”
“Yeah. The pipes. It’s in the pipe. It is this very dense smoke. If it’s gotten to the city’s piping system it’ll probably hit all houses.”
Sarah came running from the kitchen, panting.
“It’s on the kitchen floor, guys! It’s contaminating everything and freezing the entire house!” she shrieked.
“What if...” Paul began, but kept quiet.
“What if what?” Luna demanded.
“It was so cold down on the dungeon that everyone who stays there for more than thirty seconds freezes... What if everything becomes the dungeon?”
Jon still couldn’t put the pieces together.
“It’s not just freezing...”
“What do you mean?” Sarah asked.
“This isn’t ice,” he concluded.
“Well, if it isn’t ice, what else could it be?” Luna puzzled.
“Look, when I fell into that iceberg, I just didn’t feel shivery... It was different. It was like something alive was eating me.”
“Like a... Monster?” Sarah joked.
“Exactly. I felt it creeping up on me... It was very uncanny.”
“Well... At least we know what defeats it,” Thom picked up the Obsidian dagger from the floor. “I used this to break through and it seemed to melt. I agree that this is not your regular ice.”
“That’s a start.” Luna scratched her forehead. “Jon, look to me, don’t worry, we’re going to bring your parents back, alright?”
“I wanna know how...” the emptiness on his chest had hit major levels.
“Because if we don’t stop this, and our remarks are correct, we’re all going to freeze to death. We have clues, now we dig it up. Whatever it is that is assaulting Moltara, we have to stop before it kills us all,” Luna said.
“And how do you plan on doing that, mom?” Sarah held her hand. “Because whatever you say, I’m with you.”
“I plan on finding out what we’re dealing with. And then burn it to the ground.”
The Turner’s library is a gigantic room stocked with books on shelves that seem to go on forever. Jon, who had never been here before, felt small compared to the greatness of it. Luna, on the other hand, had no time for admirations, and started to look for something on the upper rows with the help of a sliding ladder.
“Don’t worry, buddy,” Paul sat down next to Jon on a beanbag. “We’re gonna bring them back. We’ll avert this.”
“I just feel so guilty,” Jon confessed, trying hard to hold the tears in.
“Why would you feel guilty?”
“Because I’m an idiot! Earlier today, we had this huge fight and I blamed them for whatever it is that happened at the pool... And I wasn’t able to recognize that, for these past ten months they’ve done nothing more than to please me. I was disrespectful and rude and if they’re gone... I don’t know if I can handle feeling like this forever. I need to apologize.”
Sarah scooted over and hugged Jon.
“We’ll bring them back. Rest assured. You’ll have plenty of time to apologize and celebrate with them once this is all over.”
“Yeah, mate!”
“Thank you guys. You’re my best friends, do you know that right?”
“Yeah, we do,” Sarah giggled. “And we love you very much.”
Their emotional moment was interrupted by Luna.
“Here,” she showed them a hardcover book the color of obsidian. It was thick and about one thousand pages. “Uses of Obsidian.”
“Are you sure this will be useful, mom?” Paul wondered. “I mean...”
“This features every single use Obsidian has, such as the classic ones like lighting up and stuff and more mythological ones. I’ve read this a long time ago for a history essay I had to write but I remember it most clearly that some references are made to a certain ice entity.”
“An ice entity?”
“Yeah,” Luna explained. “Here: 'Obsidian can also be used to fight forces of darkness. It is believed that about one hundred years ago, before the Neopian civilization was built, this was the main weapon used on Terror Mountain by the ice caves men to protect themselves from the Icy entity.'”
“Does it say exactly what it is?”
“No,” despite the negative response, Luna doesn’t slow down. “But, lucky for us, I bought a look of books on Terror Mountain’s history when we went there last year, so we’ll have a lot to read.”
She guided them to a section about ancient history. Jon was impressed by how organized everything was, categories and subcategories. Each one of them picked up and book and started reading about how was life years and years ago, when darkness monsters still roamed the earth and governed lands. They stayed up reading all night long, not without noticing, however, the frosty layer that started to substitute the marble floor polished brightness. It seemed as though it didn’t matter how many books they read, the answer was nowhere to be found. Mentions of the icy monster were frequent, but information about it was scarce and relatively useless.
Sarah was the one to break through.
“YES!” she jumped out of the beanbag. Morning was dawning and the room was already cold enough to force them to wear strong wintry clothes. “Found it!”
“What?” Luna asked. She had a cup of coffee on her hands.
“Read it for us then,” Paul dropped his book and looked up to his sister.
“'Of all the darkness forces that assailed the earth, the Icy Entity was perhaps, the worst. No one knows how exactly it came to be, but some believe it was created by a powerful icy witch that decided to lash out on her own land after newcomers threatened her. The Icy Entity attacked Terror Mountain natives during the night. On their sleep, the Entity, a dense steam monster, created ice and controlled it in a way that it enveloped people and froze them into a coma. On daytime, it just simply hid as a mist atop the Mountain, lurking, picking its victims. Natives started to suspect and kept watches to prevent this sort of happenings. During those watches, one of them discovered that Obsidian was able to break through the frost created, a hailed discovery, since fire didn’t work. Despite their attempts to save the townsfolk, nothing worked and the Entity progressed day by day, contaminating more and more people and objects, turning every single village into a frozen realm, indifferent to heat or any other weapon besides the Obsidian. But, if anyone grew close enough to try and threaten the lively ice, they would freeze them as well and scatter the threat.'”
“Is that it?” Jon demanded. “No way to stop it?”
“No, there’s more, I just really needed to breath,” Sarah laughed. “Ok, hmm... 'The icy monster managed to crystallize over 30 villages on Terror Mountain, but the ice caves man atop the mountain suspected the mist and started to plot ways to put an end to that nasty monster. Aware that obsidian was dangerous to the Entity, they built a machine that managed to trap the steam inside. Since there was no known way of actually killing it, they opted to imprison it. The machine, made of obsidian rocks, had at its center a device created by a powerful witch that lived with them. The device worked as a vacuum cleaner, and it sucked in the Entity, trapping it in there. The machine, about six feet tall and heavy managed to trap every bit of the Entity, thus leading to the unfreezing of villages and people. It is known that the Entity can’t cross obsidian, that way it is trapped in there forever. The machine was sealed with a magical gilded key sculptured by the ice cave men. Both machine and key were buried on different places of Neopia to never be found again. The Icy Entity easy powers of reproduction could mean the end of Neopia as we know if unleashed again, since the majority of the population is unaware on how to defend themselves from it.'”
They all fell silent after Sarah finished reading.
“Well... I’ll call it a lucky guess that I randomly decided to poke at you with the first thing I saw, and call it an even more random one that the first thing I saw was an Obsidian dagger!” Thom bragged.
“What are the chances this machine was buried under Moltara? It would explain the fact that it is coming through the pipes,” Luna pondered.
“Yeah, but someone used the key to open it,” Sarah pointed out.
“Isn’t that risky? I mean, how did that people survive the eye-bulging cold?” Jon doubted. “And why would someone use the machine? What’s the point if it’s gonna end up dooming everyone themselves included?”
“Maybe they found a way to protect from it,” Paul suggested.
“Well, isn’t it clear?” Luna scoffed. “As for the reasons, I’m not sure, but whoever set this up is probably using some sort of obsidian-made hazmat suit.”
“We need to stop it. We need to go down there and stop it,” Sarah urged.
“You guys are not going anywhere.”
“And what would you have us do, mom? Stay here and freeze to death? If you haven’t noticed, the whole floor is crystallized, and I think we should get the hell out of here before it creeps up our legs,” Thom pointed out.
“He’s right,” Jon said. “I don’t know what you guys are going to do but I’m going down the caves and I’m gonna find this machine wherever it is. You’ve heard the story. It will reverse everything, and it is the only chance I have to bring my parents back!” Jon stood up. “I’m gonna get myself one of those obsidian-made hazmat suits, wherever they are!”
“I’m coming with you,” Luna hurried.
“Well, if you are, so are we!” Paul and Sarah demanded in unison. Talking in unison was indeed their thing.
Together, the four of them set out to Obsidian Quarry. Once they reach the outside, they noticed something altogether unexpected - it was snowing.
“No one mentioned snow on the books,” said Sarah.
“It doesn’t matter,” Luna stopped. “Guys, the steam is probably on the ventilation system by now. Moltara will be done for in less than hours now. Snow will probably freeze everything it touches.”
Way above them, the rocks at the ceiling of Moltara were already turned into dangerous and pointy icebergs. Snowflakes were looming ever closer.
“We really need to run before it freezes us.”
“If it freezes us, it’s over. We’re the only ones who know about this,” Jon noticed.
“That’s unwise,” Luna explained. “If we get frozen doing this, no one else has a clue. We need to alert other people.”
“We don’t have time, Luna! You’re the one who said these are the super snowflakes of doom. We can’t get it wrong. The stakes are high here,” Jon debated, harsh on his voice tone. “We need to start running.”
“Where?” Luna asked.
“The only safe place,” Jon breathed out, but he needn’t answer.
“The Obsidian Quarry," said Paul and Sarah, in unison.
Jon assumed the lead in running up a mountain of stacked obsidian. Though his feet hurt, he wouldn’t dare stop and get hit by a snowflake. From up here, he could testify to Luna’s theory about the snowflakes: they were, in fact, deadly. He saw one of them hit the roof of a home causing the tiles that compose it to freeze almost instantly, the frost spreading into the house itself and down the walls to congeal everything it could find.
Behind, Sarah and Paul tripped their way up the pointed rocks, with Luna bringing up the rear. They reached the peak, and the fall down the obsidian pile would be an awful one. Ten feet down, they saw a frozen house, but its surroundings were untouched.
“We need to slide down,” Jon prompted them. “Be careful.”
He was the first to jump in, rolling down the rocks with fierce speed. He collapsed with the dusty sand floor and started running looking for shelter. Snowflakes were falling like feathers, slow but steady, and they needed somewhere safe to plot their next moves. When they reunited, they continue to run through the quarry, making their way through the labyrinth of obsidian stacks.
Finally, they found an awning made of obsidian. Below it, the snowflakes wouldn’t be able to reach them.
“What do we do now?” Paul panted.
“We need to find a way down the caves,” Luna began explaining. “I’ve studied some maps of Moltara and I know for a fact that the quarry has an entrance to the piping system. If we find the pipes, we can follow it down to wherever it is that Entity is permeating through.”
“Great plan, but we need apparatus,” Jon said, rubbing his hurt forehead. “We can’t just go down there, we’ll freeze.”
“That’s the point,” Luna ventured a walk past the awning’s limits, looking for something. “If we fail, no one else knows how to stop this we need to have a backup plan! I know, Jon, the stakes are high and I agree with you. The whole town’s probably iced up by now, but we already know for a fact that there are ways of bringing them back! Hurrying up will only be prejudicial to us.”
“Yeah, Jon,” reasoned Sarah. “We know you’re eager to get your parents back and so are we. But we need to tread lightly here.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right. What do you suggest?”
Suddenly, out of nowhere, a small obsidian fragment hit Paul in the head.
“OI!”
“What was that?” Luna yelled, angered.
“Hey, right here!” from the stack opposite them, through a small opening between two obsidians, there were two pair of eyes. A hand appeared through the fence and signaled them to come over.
“Should we?” Jon hesitated.
“I think these are quarry workers... Maybe they noticed the same thing we did: obsidian saves lives,” Luna smiled. “Let’s go, they look like they’ve got a nice shelter going on.”
Together, they ran across the obsidian, dodging impending snowflakes. Some parts of the dust-covered floor were already frosted. To their surprise, when they reached the workers, they simply opened a door to let them in.
Inside, it looked like a small office room, with a bathroom, a refrigerator, some desks and cabinets.
“How’s this even...” Jon began.
“Possible?” began the agitated Magma Krawk. “Yeah, we noticed these little flakes of cold, nightmarish death, and we also noticed it didn’t freeze through obsidian so we decided to build ourselves some shelter, you know, until someone solves it!” the Krawk smile broadly. “Can I get you anything, Neocola, coffee?”
“Actually, we’re the ones who set off to stop it,” Paul grinned. “And yeah, I’ll take a can of Neocola, please!”
“Hey, Mord, help him out here with that Neocola can! Come on guys, make yourselves comfortable and tell me all about stopping it.”
“Actually... How would you guys fancy playing the hero as well?”
“Us?” the Krawk was giggling. He looked really dorky.
“Yeah!” Luna smiled broadly.
“Luna, what are you doing?” Jon mumbled.
“Well, guys... We need your help, desperately, but you’ll need to be brave. Besides, if you do it, everyone will remember your name, because, believe me, they’ll be talking about this for ages! Ages!”
The Krawk looked at Mord, a gigantic red Skeith, and started croaking.
“Let’s do it, Mord! Let’s do it, Mord! What should we do, Lady?”
“Run. Back to the Neopia Central, reach the Defenders and tell them about what’s going on here.”
Jon understood at once what Luna’s plan was. Very crafty indeed.
“Tell them everything. The freezing snow, alive ice, about how obsidian can break through and tell them that the Icy Entity is causing it all. They’ll probably know what this is all about,” Jon completed.
“Going to Neopia Central?” Mord jumped. “LET’S GO, UNI!”
“Uni?” Jon asked.
“That’s my name,” replied the smiling Krawk.
“So, what do you say?” Luna insisted.
“Why don’t you go?” Uni eyed them suspiciously.
“Because we’re going down the caves to see what is going on. We’re really setting off to stop this. It could take weeks for the defenders to get here, but we at least need the guarantee that if we fail, someone will come for us and take care of this. If people don’t stop this, in less than a semester Neopia will freeze entirely. We’re all going to enter a state of nothingness and it will last forever.”
“Until the sun comes out,” Uni pointed out.
“No. This is dark magic, Uni,” Sarah tried to look frightening “Sun won’t melt it.”
The workers shared a glance. Then started laughing altogether.
“We’ll do it!”
“Great!” Luna exclaimed. “Now, we need apparatus.”
“Lady, that we have,” Mord laughed and opened the cabinet.
And indeed, some stuff in there Jon had never seen in their entire life.
“Wait,” Luna scooted over to the cabinet “Are these obsidian-made hazmat suits?”
“Yeah!” Mord smiled. “Pretty cool, huh? I love how shiny and purple-y they look, they are so cute I’m gonna wear them.”
“Why did you start producing this?”
“Uh, some guy requested,” Uni explained.
“Some guy... Who?”
“A Kacheek,” said Uni while dressing up.
Luna looked like she was struck by a lightning.
“Was he white, really old?”
“Yeah, how d’you know?”
Jon eyed Luna, waiting for answers. Sarah and Paul were also confused. As the workers dressed up to leave towards Neopian Central, Luna searched through some weaponry found inside the cabinet. She picked up two hammers made of something Jon couldn’t identify, five potion flasks and two needles.
“What are these for?”
She didn’t answer.
Without giving off suspicions, she paced the room and stopped behind her own children. Then, she whispered. “I’m sorry,” and pinned the needles to the back of their heads. Paul and Sarah instantly blacked out and fell to the floor, unconscious.
“WHAT THE??” Jon backed three steps, afraid.
“Lady... Did you...” Uni’s mouth was open.
“You two need to go now! You need to get to the defenders as fast as you can and you tell them everything I ordered you too but add the fact that Vaughn is here!”
“Who’s Vaughn?” Mord asked.
“It doesn’t matter, please, go now!” Luna’s eyes were jumping out of its sockets. Her Draik wings were shaking.
“You really are afraid,” Jon noticed how weird Uni looked without the broad smile he carried with him all the time. “Come on, Mord. We have a long voyage ahead of us.”
They left.
“Care explaining?” Jon asked, crossing his arms in front of his body.
“Help me sort through the weapons, Jon. We’ll need them. This whole thing... It goes further than I thought.”
“Why? Who’s this Vaughn freak and why did you knock out your children?”
“Exactly because they are my children!” said Luna, her voice high-pitched. “Thom, don’t you see this is dangerous? I can’t put them through it. I was going to accept their tagging along because I thought that we’d be safe with these suits, but we won’t! When it comes to Vaughn, we’ll not ever be safe and the chance of getting out of it alive is minimum.”
“Then why are we going? Let’s wait for the defenders!”
“Because there’s no time,” Luna explained. “Vaughn probably has an agenda, he always has. If he’s doing this, he has motive. He wouldn’t base his revenge on freezing people and living alone... No...”
“Revenge?”
“Yeah, look Jon, remember, no time left! We need to sort through weaponry.”
Together, they selected hammers, swords, potions. Unfortunately, since they couldn’t hide big apparatus inside the hazmat suits’ pockets, they had to go with small but useful things. Obsidian-breaking hammers, healing potions, smoke bombs. They filled their pockets to the brim with it.
“We gotta go,” Luna nodded towards the door.
Jon opened it, and looked back one more time to his best friends lying on the floor, unconscious. Once again, he felt like crying, but he needed to be brave in order to be fair to his parents, to repay them for everything they’d done for him. It was useful to keep in mind that he was doing this because of them.
Luna knelt down besides her children’s bodies and kissed each one of them on the cheek. Jon heard her promise that she would go back, that they would all reunite once again. Then, they left.
Outside, snowflakes were crumbling to the pavement way quicker. He wondered whether Mord and Uni were out of Moltara by now, and how were things outside. Together, Jon and Luna continued pacing the quarry, looking for the entrance to the caves where the piping system awaited them. Where Vaughn awaited.
“Hey, Luna... Who’s this Vaughn?”
“Do you know anything about Atlas of the Ancients?”
“Must have skipped that class.”
“The adventurers who discovered Moltara, four years ago?”
“Yeah, heard of that,” Jon nodded.
“Then you must know that prior to that, things were very different in Moltara. Thankfully, I wasn’t here to see it, I managed to escape when my children were only babies... But it was horrible, Jon...”
She seemed lost in recollection.
“Well, that seems apocalyptic.”
“Indeed it was,” Luna agreed.
“But I still don’t get it, who’s this Vaughn character?”
“He was the emperor of cruelty... Vaughn, the Slayer.”
The entrance to the caves was hidden behind a small pile of gigantic obsidian rocks. They had to crawl to enter, and once inside, they were forced to snake through causing the end of history time. Jon kept thinking about what he heard while he snaked through the dusty sand tunnel. For the first time today he wished there was ice here. It’d be a lot easier if they could just skid their way through.
The tight tunnel opened up on a completely frozen cavern. The icy floor was already breaching into the tunnel. The stalactites loomed so close that they looked almost threatening.
“Back to storytelling?” Jon suggested.
“Actually, I think we should follow really quiet and try not to raise any alarms.”
“Yeah, that’s probably smarter.”
They continued on dodging congealed stalagmites and avoid slipping. Contrary to Jon’s preconceptions, the hazmat suits were actually easy to wear and not heavy at all. It still felt incredibly risky to be stepping on evil ice like that, but he grew accustomed to it and accepted the fact that Obsidian was in fact a most powerful shield.
“If you see a pipe, warn me.” Luna instructed him.
It took a while until they found the first pipe. Completely frozen, as expected, it plunged vertically up towards the city about twenty feet above them. They followed the horizontal parcel of it. Every five meters, another vertically ramification boosted up, but surely the gap that allowed the Entity in was in its horizontal branch, provided the Machine was buried below them. But since they need to make a decision, that seemed like the most plausible one.
They descended further and further into the core of Moltara, following the pipes as the plunged down, took turns for the left or for the right. Sometimes, when met with bifurcations, they signaled it with a pen Jon found inside one of his pockets and chose a path. Splitting up was not at all an option.
“Look,” Jon pointed out. “The path ends.”
Luna checked out, and it turns out he was right. The cavern continued up to a point, but there was this gigantic cliff between two halves of the underground section. The pipe, of course, continued through.
“What do we do now?” Luna asked.
“Maybe try another path?”
“No, I’m pretty sure we’re on the right track.”
“And why’s that?” Jon’s skepticism was showing.
“Well, yesterday morning no one felt a tad bit cold, but the Magma Pool wasn’t working anymore which means it was starting to freeze, but no other place was, that means the Entity reached the pool first. We entered through the Obsidian, so surely we must go all the way north towards the Magma pool, and not further down south. If we go back, we’d be going past the Obsidian and past the Town Hall. If we want reach the pipe that reaches directly into the Magma Pool, we need to continue this way.”
“Nice geography skills,” Jon praised her.
“Well, what we have to do now is the contrary of nice, though.”
“You’re not actually suggesting we...”
Before he could finish his question, Luna was already sitting atop the pipe, both her hands firm on its icy surface. She started sliding front, slowly. Jon observed her actions and did the same, but not with the same calm. He was fully aware of his legs dangling off a precipice, and he imagined what the fall would be like.
It seemed as though the pipe went on forever. Jon tried to keep his mind off things, thought of his parents and thought of shared moments with his best friends... And then, out of the blue, he thought of his days on the pound. The nightmare it was. His grip on the pipe loosened and he felt himself sliding sideways.
“WHOAH!” he yelled.
Wrapping both his hands around the pipe for dear life, Jon found himself entirely hanging. His hands were sliding on the ice, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to move or hold on for very long.
“JON!” Luna cried.
“Help me, please!”
Jon wasn’t that far from the border, but it was still long enough to try and leap.
“Balance your body forward!” Luna instructed.
“I can’t, Luna... My hands are skittering, the ice is too wet!”
“Wait a minute!”
Luna disappeared into the darkness. Left alone, Jon tried to calm down by counting to ten, but it only served to make him more nervous. He tried scratching the obsidian on the frost in order to break it, but the layers of ice were tightly woven there and he needed more strength in order to break the chunks. He also tried lifting himself up, but he the slippery surface made that impossible.
When Luna came back, she was holding a thin but long stalagmite. She held one end of it and carefully stood on the edge of the precipice, stretching her arms so that Jon could hold the other hand.
“Keep one hand on the pipe and hold the stalagmite with the other!”
He did so, and Luna started pulling. It worked just like a sheave, and then Jon was close enough for her to help him up.
“That was close,” he had tears on his eyes and his heart thumped strong.
“We need to get going.”
They continued their adventure further into the iced caves for what seemed like an hour. The piping system was never ending. They took the care of stepping lightly because of the strong echo reverberations, but stealth was never manageable.
Without warning, they heard a cackle. Instantly they stopped.
“We’re close,” Luna mouthed.
Jon nodded, trying to keep his breathing still.
“What do we do?” he asked, completely silently.
“The only possible plan is to try and break his hazmat suit. We have no chance on a fight. Besides, I bet he has far more weapons then we do.”
“And how are we going to do that?”
“We find him, we pray that we aim well and we throw these little hammers at Vaughn. If we succeed, we wait for him to freeze, switch the machine back on so it sucks the Entity back and we steal the key.”
“But then Vaughn will be awake again.”
“Yeah, but he will be a bit perplexed. We run with the key and throw it off that big cliff we passed.”
“He will catch up to us eventually...” Jon pointed out. “What will we do then?”
“YOU DIE!” A voice so stern and old filled their ears, so loud and powerful it made them flinch. Vaughn came walking out of the shadows, smiling devilishly. “I sensed your presence about one hour ago, when that silly one fell off the pipe. You should really scream less, kid.”
Jon and Luna didn’t know what to say.
“Nice plotting skills you have. A lot of holes on it, though... Well, not everyone can be perfect, right?” he turned to the shadows. “Rhoman, pass me the magical ropes, please.”
From the darkness, another Kacheek emerged; Jon could sense Rhoman was the weak link. He was afraid, probably coerced. Maybe they could use that for their benefit. Carrying a thick, black string with him, Rhoman stopped before his master, who picked up the rope hastily. Vaughn approached Luna and tied her first, then, when he got close enough to Jon, the Shoyru lifted the hammer against him and broke through the thigh part of his hazmat suit.
“Oh, so nasty of you,” he flickered. Then, he grabbed hold of Jon’s wrist and wretched the hammer free. “But you know what they say, payback’s awful!”
Vaughn broke the left foot sole of Jon’s suit and then tied him up.
“Come on, both of you up, you’re coming with me," Vaughn said. "Rhoman, drag them, please.”
Rhoman, the other Kacheek, grabbed hold of the ends of both ropes and started pulling them forward. Jon could touch his left feet to the ground and equilibrium was hard to achieve. He knew he was only prolonging the unavoidable: he would end up frozen.
“Wouldn’t you know, Rhoman? It is your lucky day, you won’t have to sacrifice yourself anymore. We got two very bold and unwise citizens to do that for you!”
They continued down a path of ice until they reached the place Jon and Luna had been looking all along: the place where the machine was.
Jon admired it - it was a big, monumental, purple and sparkly, cylindrical construction. He noticed the gilded key plugged in. He imagined that closing the device would cause the vacuum effect to go on. All they needed to do was get to the key, but how were they going to do that when bound by magical ropes like these?
“You’ve been hiding out here all along?” Luna asked, drawing Vaughn’s attention.
Vaughn scoffed.
“Let them go, Rhoman. You both can sit down.”
Rhoman dropped the ropes and Jon fell to the floor, relieved for making it through.
“So, Draik... You’ve studied your history books, uh?”
“Actually, there’s no mention of you anywhere, Vaughn. But I was here when you rose to power. After the discovery, Roxton made sure no one would discover what was going on down here. You were officially forgotten.”
That seemed to infuriate him.
“Good... How they like me now, huh? They’re all freezing to death while I’m here, the only one capable of saving all of their lives.”
“To death?” Jon scoffed.
“Well, this one, on the other hand, hasn’t been studying his books. Yeah, son, to death, who do you think I am? Roxton Colchester IV?
“No. Once the machine is turned on again, it sucks the snow back in and everyone one who’s frozen simply unfreeze,” Jon persisted.
“Yeah, you’re quite right... Up until a point, that is. I mean, for how long do you think they can handle being frozen? Don’t you know that, after a while, they just succumb?”
Jon’s mouth fell open. Were his parents dead? No, that could be happening. He thrashed against the ropes, and accidentally stepped into ice. He instantly began freezing.
“Wow, kiddo, you’re a fast believer. Trust yourself more next time,” Vaughn started laughing hysterically. “Freezing to death is just an expression, chill... Well, but I guess it is death for you,” he looked straight into Jon’s eyes, ignoring Luna’s shrieks all the while. “because I’m never unfreezing you.”
Exactly two hours later, Vaughn decided it was time to finish his master plan. Luna, hungry and afraid of being the next in line to get iced, decided it was time to discuss.
“Please, Vaughn...”
“No, lady. Don’t please me. I don’t have time for excuses. This Moltarans, they deserve to suffer for what they did to me.”
“What they did to YOU? You ruled over them based on threats! You had a bomb planted under Moltara and threatened to kill us all if we didn’t follow your orders!”
“BUT I WAS KIND! I gave you all. We prospered! And then, two ridiculous explorers came along and outed Moltara to Neopia. Then, your people turned on me, and I’m sure you weren’t here to see it, but they did! They called in the Defenders, they came and destroyed everything I’ve achieved, gave power to some commoners! We were fine without Neopia knowing about us and the minute we were put under the spotlight, you used to take me down! The Defenders still look for me! They don’t reckon I’ve been hiding in these caves for the past four years, no.”
“You’ve been out here the whole time?”
“Yes, love, I have!” he was so angry his white fur and becoming redder. “Until I stumbled upon this beauty right here. That’s when I decided to get in touch with those on the cities that were still loyal to me.”
“Loyal to you?” Luna snorted. “Who would be loyal to you if all you’ve done was enslave these people and govern their lives for them? Heavily punishing those who’d dare to cross you even in the slightest of ways? Who could be loyal to a monster LIKE YOU?”
“My faithful servant Rhoman, if you want an example,” Vaughn pointed out. “I got in touch with him, escaped those caves to contact him, and he gathered a group of admirers and went after the key. Only he returned... His love for me is so great he was willing to sacrifice himself for my mission.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah,” Vaughn smiled. “But now he won’t have to, because you’ll do that for me.”
“I won’t do anything,” Luna spat.
“You won’t have a choice, love,” Vaughn giggled, as though mocking her innocence. “I need someone to destroy the machine once I’m far away, in order to ensure the Entity will have no way of ever being trapped again. Witches of this age can’t perform this sort of powerful magic anymore, so my monster will continue to be out there.”
“And what’s your plan? Rule a kingdom of frozen things?”
“Quite the contrary. Rule a kingdom where every living Neopet thanks me for their lives. I will supply these hazmat suits to them, production has already started with those nifty workers at the quarry that, by the way, are on my side and aren’t going to tell the Defenders squat, sell to them at the highest price possible, and rule Neopia from Kreludor, where I’ll have freedom to be out of these suits. In order to keep their suits, everyone will have to pay me taxes. How much do they consider their lives to be worth? We’ll find that out. I will not be king of Moltara anymore. I’ll be king of the world!”
Silence fell. Luna noticed there was no way out. Her only beacon of hope has just been destroyed: the quarry workers were working undercover for Vaughn. The Defenders weren’t coming. There was no way out.
Vaughn returned holding a box.
“Let’s talk schemes: this box contains the explosives you’ll be setting up. When? Don’t worry, the explosives will tell you when. Set them up, explode the whole thing, your work’s done! I would program them to explode by themselves, but I don’t how much time I’ll need to strip everything from Moltara, so I need someone down here ready to do so.”
“And what makes you so sure I’ll do it?” bragged Luna.
“The fact that I have your children,” Vaughn shrugged. “Unless you want them to freeze for eternity, you’ll do what I tell you to.”
Luna started sobbing and shrieking. Grief struck her and so did pain.
“Oh, you really trusted Uni and Mord, didn’t you? They’re great actors! Well, on my way out of here, I’ll be picking up your son and your daughter. Mord and Uni took them out of Moltara. I’ll make sure they’re safe. If you don’t explode the machine when I tell you to, I’ll then arrange for you to receive a very nifty gift. Are we understood?”
“Yes,” Luna lowered her head.
“Great,” Vaughn smiled. “Then I think I’ll get going, tons of stuff to do. Shall we, Rhoman?”
“Yes, Lord Vaughn,” Rhoman responded mechanically, miserably.
Luna watched Vaughn walk away when something uncanny happened. He suddenly stopped. Rhoman turned to look at him, completely puzzled. He then fell on his back, completely immobile.
“Lord?”
“RHOMAN?” Luna started yelling. “RHOMAN, I can feel you don’t want to do this. You agree with us that what Vaughn is trying to do is crazy, right? He’s going to take everyone’s free will... Rhoman, listen to me,” she noticed that the Kacheek was looking intently at her. “He doesn’t care about you! If we hadn’t showed up, he would’ve been keen to let you sacrifice yourself. I understand what is like to be manipulated by someone but you’ve been given the chance to break free from Vaughn’s grasp. Before whatever happened loses its power, you need to untie me, please!”
Rhoman started moving on Luna’s direction.
“Please... Don’t tell anyone!”
“I won’t tell anyone Rhoman, rest assured I won’t. You need to believe me, I want to work with you to stop this madness.”
Hesitantly, Rhoman unlaced the rope and Luna was set free.
“Do you know how to operate this thing?”
“You have to turn the key backwards to turn it on. It’ll siphon the Entity back in and lock the device.”
Luna thanked him and held the key. She felt power surging through her veins. Carefully, she rotated it backwards. Instantly, riot began. All the frosty covering that dominated every single surface started to magically dissolve and prickle back into its steam form, hastily getting imbibed by the machine. A strong, cold wind started to blow, making Luna shiver. When Jon unfroze, he watched the steam getting sucked in, spiraling everywhere. He could imagine every single person on Moltara retrieving their lives, trying to understand what was going on. For the first time in the past hours, he felt truly happy.
As soon as Luna noticed that Jon had came back to life, she started to jump around him to celebrate. They embraced. Rhoman watched from a distance as the Entity wrestled against the churning force that kept attracting it like a magnet.
“Hey, help me out!” Jon started running to where Vaughn lied paralyzed. He tried to pick him up. As soon as the other two understood what he was trying to do, they helped him.
Together, they climbed up a small rock, from atop which they could throw his body directly into the machine. The white mass that generated on and around it made it harder, but they got it right anyway. Vaughn fell with a strong thud into the machine. From that higher spot they watched as the smoke got sucked in. The whole process took about twenty minutes. Then, finally, it stopped.
“Is it over?” Luna asked, panting.
“I think so,” Jon responded.
The machine closed itself with a loud BOOM. Light started emanating from inside. The whole chamber darkened.
“We need to dispose of the key, forever!” Rhoman noted.
“Yeah, we do,” Jon agreed. “Thank you, Rhoman, by the way.”
“Jon, you had to be here to see it. Vaughn almost won! I really don’t know what happened, he simply stopped.”
“Well, I might have something to do with that,” Jon winked.
“What do you mean?”
“Come on, do you really think I’d try hitting him on his thigh with that hammer? If I was serious about freezing him, I’d hit him on his foot. But freezing him, as we came to agree, was no solution. He’d wake up as soon as the machine siphoned the Entity in and we would be left with a very angered ninja killer slayer whatever! So, while you were discussing and he was tying you up, I sipped paralyzing potion on the hammer. When I went for it, I made sure to get the potion into his system by hurting him with the hammer, hurting his skin. That’s what I did. I took a long while because of the small quantity, I guess.”
Luna was perplexed, her mouth open, gazing at Jon.
“You are a true genius!”
“Well, I do my best!” Jon shrugged, laughing.
“It isn’t over yet,” Luna remembered. “And we need to get going. There’s a town’s worth of explanations to do, a key to dispose of and my children may be in danger!”
“Why?” Jon frowned.
“Mord and Uni, they were Vaughn’s followers and according to Vaughn, they took them away from Moltara!”
“Oh my, Luna, we need to run, NOW!”
Together, they started sprinting their way back.
With the key in his possession, Jon slithered on the dirty floor, emerging seconds later on the Obsidian Quarry. He looked around - no more possessed snowflakes, no more frozen rooftops. Moltara was up and about. He disposed of his Obsidian hazmat suit and undressed, those winter clothes weren’t for Moltara.
“Rhoman, do you have any idea where they might have taken them?” Luna asked.
“No, I’m sorry,” Rhoman sighed. “But your children are fine. They were given orders to protect both of them. When you showed up at the quarry claiming to be heroes, they contacted Vaughn and they plotted everything. I heard him saying that no harm should come to the children because they’d be useful.”
“Yeah, but that’ll probably change once they realize that the Entity is not with us anymore,” Jon scratched his head. “What do we do now?”
“I’m not sure, but we need to figure something out. Where could they be?” Luna looked at the hidden house beneath the obsidians. “Maybe we’ll discover something in there?” she pointed.
“Yeah, it’s worth the shot.”
Inside, they found nothing. The cabinet was completely empty and there was sign of struggle because some of the desks were broken.
“What happened here?” Luna’s voice quivered.
“We went on our own adventure!” answered Paul, jumping out on them. “How did you do it?” he asked enthusiastically.
“How did you escape?” Luna asked. “I injected you with a sleeping potion that supposedly lasts 24 hours.”
“You injected us the sleeping potion that lasts one hour, mom,” Sarah yawned.
“I can’t believe it,” said Luna, flustered.
“Yeah, epic fail, actually, very rude of you to inject us with something without further warning. But I guess it was for the best in the end. Did you know those weird guys worked for that Vaughn freak? Yeah, turns out they were going to take us to Faerieland!”
“Yeah, how did you know?”
“When we woke up, they were here,” Sarah began. “But the pair of you weren’t. We talked to each other quietly and then decided to pretend we were still out. When they got close enough, Paul hit them in their chin, I stood up and sacked the weapon cabinet... It was messy, but we won in the end.”
“If you won, where are they now?” Luna eyed the place suspiciously.
“Believe it or not, they ran away after we beat them up... And, of course, after they noticed that the snow was getting sent to wherever it is it came from.”
“So they escaped?” Jon sounded bitter.
“You can’t win all the time, but cheers mate! Let’s go find your parents!” Paul grabbed him by the hand and they started running down the quarry.
When Jon got home, his mom and dad were pacing on the living room, utterly bewildered and nervous. The minute he entered they stopped to look at him as though he was some painting in a museum.
“Guys,” Jon began. “I love you so very much, and I’m so, so sorry for everything I said the other day... I just really want you to know that.”
“Jon!” his mom hugged him tightly, and his father hushed to do the same.
It was one of those moments that could last forever. Jon felt whole again, with his parents here, by his side. Loved. All the fears and pain dissipated once again, giving way to peace and tenderness to settle down inside him.
Later that day, there was a Moltara assembly at the front of the Town Hall. The Mayor gathered everyone to talk about the incident and Jon was invited to talk alongside Luna, Paul and Sarah. Together, the four of them told everything, from beginning to end, but Jon’s was the bigger praise.
“Everything I did, I did for my parents. When they froze, I didn’t know what would happen to me, how I would survive. All I knew is that I had to undo it. Because that’s what true love is about. It is about making sacrifices for the people you care. Is about giving yourself entirely to that feeling. And that is what they’ve been doing to me ever since they took me out of the pound and gave me a new life here. Today, I truly feel like a Moltaran and I’d like to say that there is no other place on Neopia that I’d rather be with. This is my home!” they all cheered him. Sarah and Luna cried and Paul flew around him throwing confetti. “And I’ve realized this town... It is just like me. Know why? Because it has a dark past it tries to hide but somehow it just keeps coming back. I know what it is like. I’ve know suffering before just like you, but we pushed through and we’re all here now. We are victorious. And, it doesn’t matter how hard it is to leave the past in the past, we need to do it. I’m starting today and I’d like to invite you to do the same.”
Applause roared through the entire town.
“Well, in name of our Victory and of course if the mayor allows, I’d like to invite you all to a pool party, down at the Magma pool!”
The mayor’s nod was the confirmation they needed to start the festivities.
“Come with me, please,” Jon whispered to Sarah, Paul and Luna.
Before heading down to the magma pool, the four of them stopped by Jon’s house. In his bedroom, hidden beneath his pillow, they found the key.
“You didn’t dispose of it yet?” questioned Sarah
“No, but I’ve already decided where to put it.”
“And where’s that?”
“Well, a place only true Moltarans can enter: the magma pool. And I wanna be the one to do the honors, dip deep, place it at the bottom and, hopefully, emerge Magma!”
“Looks like a plan,” Paul smiled. “Now, LET’S GO!”
The magma pool was crowded when they arrived there and even the guard allowed himself a break to go for a swim. Jon met up with his parents near the edge, noticing from a distance that Rhoman was having fun on the pool as well with some others Kacheeks he didn’t recognize.
“You guys are the best, you know that?” he asked, smiling.
“No, you are. You save us all, son. You were very brave and smart!”
They hugged once again.
“What’s that on your hand?” asked Gale.
“Oh, that’s the key that sets free the Entity. I’m gonna put it deep into the Magma Pool, that way, only true Moltarans will have access to it. Not that anyone will know it is here, it is a big secret. That machine is too dangerous.”
“Our big hero,” boasted Jenna.
“Well, let’s dive headfirst together, shall we?” suggested Gale.
“Yeah!”
“One... Two... Three!”
They jumped. This time, it was completely different. The heat engrossed Jon’s body and he felt the changing happen. He opened his hand and allowed the gilded key to sink further and further and emerged. He was Magma.
“OHH, look at him all magma!” Sarah chuckled, jumping in.
“You look good that way, Jon,” Luna didn’t feel like swimming, so she sat up on the edge of the pool, with her feet dangling inside the lava.
“Know what I never understood, Luna?”
“What?”
“Why you helped me. I mean, I’ve came to you all desperate and you were so supportive, geez... Thank you, really. It was you who saved us all. Sorry to involve you in something you didn’t need to be involved.”
“I’m an adventurer, Jon. I travel a lot, I like to get myself in danger. That’s just me,” she giggled. “Of course this kind of danger was too much, but I’m happy I helped you. I’m feeling really good about myself right now.”
“So am I,” Jon nodded. “We do make a good team, don’t we? I mean, I think we should start going on dangerous travels, uncovering treasures...”
“Maybe someday,” Luna smiled. “I think some rest is overdue.”
“Tell me about it... Well, next travel you take with my best friends, count me in and we’ll all explore Neopia together! Except of course if you want to go to Terror Mountain. I’m never going to that place!”
Sarah and Paul approached.
“What are you discussing?” inquired Sarah.
“Future travels we’re making,” Luna answered.
“YAY!” the twins exclaimed in unison.
Jon signaled his parents to come over. When they did, he mounted on his father’s back and started waving at people. Everyone praised him that night for overcoming not only a darkness force from the past but also a great enemy of Moltara’s. In fact, he didn’t care for the fame or the praise. He only cared for that moment, in the pool with his best friends and his parents. The people that he loved the most in life. Despite the thrills, the recognition wasn’t the payoff: that moment was. He looked around trying to memorize everything: the way the obsidians shone down on them from the mountains surrounding them, the color of the lava, his mom’s bathing suit, the way Luna’s half-moon glasses were crooked... Of this night, he wanted to remember everything.
He wouldn’t bear missing a thing of the happiest day of his life.
Okay, so, when copying&pasting in here, I did another review and found some mistakes. But I still want you guys to look into it, to find any possible mistakes and that I didn't. I really want this to be published!
Thank you.
Dear Dan,
Your Neopian Times submission (Moltara's Winter) was rejected because your submission was found to have significant punctuation errors or would require too much reformatting. We suggest asking someone else to look over your submission to make sure you are using proper punctuation, such as commas, periods, and quotation marks. Please separate each character's spoken words into a new paragraph.
Your Neopian Times submission (Moltara's Winter) was rejected because your submission was found to have significant punctuation errors or would require too much reformatting. We suggest asking someone else to look over your submission to make sure you are using proper punctuation, such as commas, periods, and quotation marks. Please separate each character's spoken words into a new paragraph.
But the problem is -- it doesn't matter how much I read the series, I can't find what's wrong with it (I must be dumb). That's why I need your help. I need someone to read my series and point out the mistakes, so I can correct them. Any help is appreciated.
Five hundred feet below Moltara’s surface, two Kacheeks quietly plotted their overly rehearsed plan. The youngest of them, Rhoman, felt uneasy, with his belly queasy.
“Are you sure?” he asked his master.
“Aren’t you?” the master replied. “We’ve been through all this trouble to get what we wanted and you wanna back down?” his tone implied that he didn’t do well with cravens.
“No, not at all my master,” Rhoman lowered his head.
Vaughn, the master, however, felt like nothing could beat him today. Finally, after years of planning, the day to put things in motion had finally come. His dearly beseeched revenge was upon him, and nothing would be able to stop him now.
“Pass me the key, Rhoman,” he ordered.
Rhoman carefully picked up the golden key from the case in which it was kept. The gilded surface had sculptures all over it: old drawings of ancient, magical Neopians. Grabbing hold of it, Vaughn felt a surge of power like never before. It really is magical, he thought, with his hands shaking. Without hesitating, he approached the shiny machine before him and placed the key on the lock. Every single obsidian on the five-feet-tall device started emanating a bright, sparkly light. Vaughn cackled.
“It’s working, Rhoman!”
Carefully, he turned the key. A churning sound filled the Kacheeks’ ears. The white light grew so strong it hurt their eyes. From the gap on the top of the device, dry ice smoke started vaporizing its way up, entering the pipes above through the fend Vaughn had created on them earlier.
“Now what?” Rhoman’s voice was soft, a quivering whisper.
“Now we wait,” Vaughn’s determination showed on his ambitious tone. “And after that, we get back what’s rightfully ours.”
***
Jon woke up feeling extremely happy. Today’s the day, he thought, joyfully. He jumped out of bed and reached for the calendar atop the bedside table. With a red sharpie, he crossed the 24th day of the month of Storing, today, his birthday and the day he would finally receive his long awaited gift. Flapping his wings out of his room, he straightly ran into his parents’. They were still asleep, but Jon’s excitement shouts did a good job waking them up.
“Son, it’s 6 a.m.,” complained the Kougra.
“I know dad, but we gotta go! You know I want to spend my birthday looking just like you!” he jumped on their bed, the mattress sinking.
“Don’t you worry, darling,” he felt his mom’s Kougra paws soft touch drawing him in and getting tighter by the second. “You are already like us.”
“No, mom, I’m not. I’m green and you guys are Magma! I wanna be like you!”
His dad chuckled.
“Happy birthday, my boy.”
Jon rejoiced that moment with his parents. It still looked like incredibly unreal that only one year ago, he was suffering at the pound without anyone to tend to him. When they told him a family wanted to take him home, he didn’t even believe it. By then, he was miserable enough to deem himself unworthy of love and caring. But their foster parents proved him wrong. They brought him all the way down to Moltara and started raising him the best way possible.
When Jon first arrived in Moltara, ten months ago, he felt like he didn’t belong. The walls were damp and cavern-y, it was always too hot and people weren’t that gentle, especially to him, a green Shoyru, but, as the days went by, he learned about their culture, their history and, most important, felt for the first time of his life like he belonged. Then, he knew he needed to take one step further to truly becoming a Moltaran - he needed to take a dip into the lava pool and be reborn as a son of Magma.
He’d been nagging at his parents to take him there for months now, but they kept avoiding it because they didn’t want him to lose what made him stand out. However, Jon’s insistence finally broke on through, and they agreed that on Jon’s tenth birthday, they would take him down there and let him go through with it.
“So, when are we going?” he asked anxiously. He couldn’t wait to see how he would look like covered with Magma.
“Well, how about after birthday breakfast?” his dad got out of bed, smiling. “I’m gonna make us something delicious, you wait here with your mom. We eat, and then we go. Is that okay with you?”
“More than okay! I want Magma Blaster Cereal! And a magma slushie! Ohh, and...”
“Don’t worry,” his dad tranquilized him. “I’ve got it covered!”
When Gale left, Jon looked up to his mother. She was giving him the greatest of smiles. Jenna couldn’t believe how lucky she was that she adopted such a beautiful son, a son so brave, with a lot of strength of character, honest and tender. It felt like winning the lottery. It was her desire that they adopted a kid from Neopia Central, the land where her and Gale grew up. Upon Moltara’s discovery, they moved in to escape from their lives and start fresh.
Gale came back with a tray filled with goodies: a bowl filled to the top with crunchy cereal that resembled lava rock, a magma slushie, coffee, fruits, bread and eggs. Jon wolfed down his breakfast, washing it with long gulps of the hot beverage he liked so much. Actually, he ate so fast that when he was done, he felt dizzy and about to explode.
“Okay, now can we go?”
Jenna and Gale exchanged a longing look, and nodded together.
It took no more than five minutes for Jon to get ready and wait for his parents at the door. He looked at the house across the street, the Turner’s house. Sarah and Paul Turner were his Draik best friends. He wished they were awake to see him transform. Well, why not wake them up?, he thought cheerfully. Crossing the street rapidly, he rapped his closed fist against their door six times.
Their mom, Mrs. Luna Turner, opened up, groggy and scratching her eyes. She was wearing a pink robe and her hair was completely disheveled.
“Jon? Is everything alright?” she harrumphed twice to fix her hoarse voice.
“Yeah! Are Sarah and Paul awake? I’m going down to the Magma Pool and I wanted them to come with me. It’s my birthday today, Mrs. L!”
“Oh, sweetheart, I didn’t know that. Do you want to come on in? I’ll get them ready.”
“No, I actually have to wait out here for my parents. Can you hurry them up, please?”
Luna smiled, “Of course.”
When Jon’s parents came out of the house, locking it, they were surprised to find their son sitting on the neighbor’s lawn. Jon hurried back across the street to explain himself.
“Hi! I decided that I want Sarah and Paul to watch me do it!” he smirked.
“Ooh, that’s nice, dear,” said Jenna, caressing her son’s head.
The Turners didn’t take long. Jon was surprised to acknowledge that their mom was tagging along with them. Luna was wearing a different and more sophisticated robe, a brown, leather one and her usual half-moon glasses. Sarah and Paul wore the same, white outfit. They were twins and they loved looking alike.
Two parties were instantly formed: the children’s one that took the lead, and the adults that guarded the rear. Jon trotted cheerfully through the streets he already knew by heart, telling his best friends all about his days in the pound. What better moment to recollect the worst parts of life than the one when you feel complete?
When the Magma Pool came into view, Jon started jumping around and hooping in the air. Luna giggled at the sight of it. His flipping happiness was so engrossing no one could look away or not feel contaminated. Every step closer made the little Shoyru’s heart thump faster against his chest. It was finally here, the moment he would truly feel like another person. He would emerge another person, letting his troublesome past sink far enough, burning all the way down. It was time.
“Finally gonna take a dip, Jon?” asked the magma pool guard. Everyone knew about Jon’s desire to do it, he was a big blabbermouth.
“Yes! I will!”
“You deserve it, buddy,” the guard patted him on the back. “Happy birthday!”
“Thank you. Can I pass, please?”
“Well, you do know only true Moltarans at heart can get through, right?” the guard’s stern voice almost made Jon’s heart stop. “And no one deserves it more than you do,” he grinned and cleared the path.
Jon stood at the border. The lava wasn’t bubbly today as he remembered, but it didn’t matter. He looked up and took a deep breath.
“Go Jon!” cheered his parents.
“Go for it, buddy!”
“You go, dear, go!”
Feeling blessed and overjoyed, he leaped into the pool. He instantly sunk down, but the whole ride was nothing like he expected. Somehow, the lava felt colder than he would have thought. The liquid didn’t seem so dense and not at all that orange underneath. Puzzled, he came back up for air, and he was greeted with gasps from his friends and confused mutterings. The first person he saw was the guard. His countenance was severe and quizzical, whereas his parents, now on the edge of the pool, looked worried.
“What?”
“Jon...” Paul began, shifting closer to the edge as well. He didn’t know how to finish.
Knowing something was obviously off he looked down, staring at his own hands. They were still green.
“It didn’t work!” he muttered to himself, tears streaming down his cheek. “Mom, dad,” he looked up, tearing up. “It didn’t work!”
The way back home was every bit as different. Jon forced himself to keep on walking, even though everything he wanted to was sit and cry. He had no idea why he didn’t turn Magma. Everyone who jumped in did. He feared this was yet another refusal. Somehow, Moltara didn’t want him the same way he wanted it. Those looming fears stroke his heart once again and despair and loneliness kicked in. Even with Paul and Sarah trying hard to cheer him up, he felt empty inside.
When he got home, away from his best friends, he finally allowed himself to bellow, put it all out and have the tantrum he was containing all along.
“Why did that happen to me, mom?” he shouted. “What have I ever done to deserve this much suffering?”
“Sweetie, it is not your fault,” his mom hugged him. “It is not. Maybe the whole place is jinxed in some way, I don’t know...”
“You’re telling me lies!” he tried to break himself free from Jenna’s embrace. “You heard the guard. I’m not a true Moltaran, I don’t belong here!”
“Jon, listen to me,” his father was standing next to him. “You belong with us. And this is your home as much as it is ours. We came from Neopia as well, remember? The pool didn’t reject us! There’s something wrong going on here, and we’re going to fix it.”
“Are we, dad?” whenever he got too mad, Jon turned to sarcasm to try and shield himself from pain. “Do tell me how we are ever going to do that!”
“Hey, don’t lash out on your dad,” Jenna warned him. “This is no one’s fault, especially not ours,” she stroke his head.
“Well, mom, I beg to disagree. Had you taken me there sooner, maybe it would have worked. But no, you had to wait for no reason at all! You had to punish me!”
He finally thrashed himself free and ran to his bedroom. Locking the door, he crammed himself beneath the layers of blankets and cried himself to sleep.
When he woke up, night had fallen. Feeling embarrassed, he ran out of his bedroom to apologize for his childish and overall ungrateful behavior, but his parents were nowhere to be found. He checked their bedroom, the kitchen and the bathroom, but didn’t find them anywhere. The only place left to check was the dungeon, but he saw no reason for them to be down there. When he opened the door, a sweeping chilly breeze flustered him and made him dizzy. The dungeon was literally freezing. The walls were covered by a moss-like ice layer that sparkled. He ventured one step down the stairs, but he felt his legs starting to freeze. The steps, also covered in ice, felt so wintry to the touch it threatened to burn Jon. He instantly jumped out of there and closed the door.
“MOM! DAD!” fear was dominating him. Why was the dungeon frozen? Things don’t freeze in Moltara. Not here. The place was completely absent from the likes of seasonal weather. “MOM! WHERE ARE YOU GUYS?”
Afraid and with nothing else to do, he ran outside and across the street to enlist Luna’s help. He slammed his fist on the door so strongly that his hand hurt.
“Jon?” Luna’s eyes were engorged. “What’s going on?”
“My parents disappeared!”
“What?” she sounded high-pitched.
“They simply disappeared! I woke up and they were nowhere to be found. And besides, the dungeon... It is freezing!”
“What do you mean by that?” she scoffed.
“The dungeon... It is completely covered in ice, like there was a snow storm in there, I don’t know, Luna... But I’m worried and I need your help.”
“Come on in, we’ll think this through.”
She closed the door behind him. Sarah came running into the living room.
“Thought I heard your voice, Jon!” she smiled.
“Sweetheart, can you go on the bedroom and get me everything we bought for that Terror Mountain tour we went to last year?”
“You mean coats?” she asked, bewildered.
“Yes, please.”
“Why do we need coats?” Jon asked.
“Well, if your dungeon’s frozen we need to go down there and see what caused it. Most likely we’ll be needing coats.”
“Yeah, you’re right... Luna, would you mind checking your own dungeon?” Jon had this feeling that the weird occurrence was not a random event or anything of the like. His intuition was telling him that there was more to the story.
First the cold lava, now icy walls... Definitely there was more. He wanted badly to find his parents and apologize. They were right all along. Something needed to be fixed.
“Oh my God!” Luna exclaimed.
Sarah and Paul came running into the room.
“What?” they asked in unison.
“The dungeon’s frozen!”
Jon approached. It looked just like his house’s.
“Cool!” Paul tried to run in, but his mom blocked his way.
“Oi! You’re not going there,” she smirked. “The same thing’s happened to Jon’s house, and his parents are missing. We have no idea what’s going on, so, for now, let’s try and stay away from this mysterious blossoming snow, ok?”
“Get me the coats,” Jon demanded.
“What are you going to do?” Luna inquired.
“I’m going down my house’s dungeon to see if my parents are down there.”
“You’re not going! Jon, don’t you see that we have no idea what this is? You’ll be getting yourself into trouble.”
“Luna, I appreciate your concern, but I need to know.”
He dressed himself in fur, sweatpants and Snowager-shaped slippers. He went back to his house with Luna, Sarah and Paul on his trail. To his surprise, some small parts of the tiles were already icy-white. The freezing process was slowly progressing. He opened the door once again, and the breeze now felt like a tornado of chills. He looked back to his friends once more.
“Wish me luck…”
“I want to go down with him!” Paul protested.
“Yeah, but you’re not!” Luna held him steady.
On the fifth step, Jon started shaking so violently that he lost balance and fell. Rolling down the flight of steps, he ended up face down on the ice block that used to be a magma rock. However, when he tried to stand up, he couldn’t. His entire body was glued to the surface, and the icy started to grow on top of his body, sealing him to the stone.
“Help!” he pleaded.
His neck was the only part of his body he could still move. He looked left and had a horrifying surprise: his parents freezing statues, beneath one of the pipes. They were both looking up the minute they froze, and Thom noticed that pipes were parted halfway. From there, steam was oozing. He thrashed against the rock, but it was no use. The ice wouldn’t give way and there was no way of breaking free.
Suddenly, Jon felt something break through frost, enough to set him free. It was Paul, holding an Obsidian dagger. Both of them raced upstairs and locked the door behind them. Luna was looking flabbergasted and breathless:
“Paul, I...”
“I wasn’t about to let my friend freeze to death, mom!”
“I saw them,” tears were once again rolling down Jon’s face. This was definitely the worst birthday ever. “My parents. They froze.”
“Did you see anything else?”
“Yeah. The pipes. It’s in the pipe. It is this very dense smoke. If it’s gotten to the city’s piping system it’ll probably hit all houses.”
Sarah came running from the kitchen, panting.
“It’s on the kitchen floor, guys! It’s contaminating everything and freezing the entire house!” she shrieked.
“What if...” Paul began, but kept quiet.
“What if what?” Luna demanded.
“It was so cold down on the dungeon that everyone who stays there for more than thirty seconds freezes... What if everything becomes the dungeon?”
Jon still couldn’t put the pieces together.
“It’s not just freezing...”
“What do you mean?” Sarah asked.
“This isn’t ice,” he concluded.
“Well, if it isn’t ice, what else could it be?” Luna puzzled.
“Look, when I fell into that iceberg, I just didn’t feel shivery... It was different. It was like something alive was eating me.”
“Like a... Monster?” Sarah joked.
“Exactly. I felt it creeping up on me... It was very uncanny.”
“Well... At least we know what defeats it,” Thom picked up the Obsidian dagger from the floor. “I used this to break through and it seemed to melt. I agree that this is not your regular ice.”
“That’s a start.” Luna scratched her forehead. “Jon, look to me, don’t worry, we’re going to bring your parents back, alright?”
“I wanna know how...” the emptiness on his chest had hit major levels.
“Because if we don’t stop this, and our remarks are correct, we’re all going to freeze to death. We have clues, now we dig it up. Whatever it is that is assaulting Moltara, we have to stop before it kills us all,” Luna said.
“And how do you plan on doing that, mom?” Sarah held her hand. “Because whatever you say, I’m with you.”
“I plan on finding out what we’re dealing with. And then burn it to the ground.”
The Turner’s library is a gigantic room stocked with books on shelves that seem to go on forever. Jon, who had never been here before, felt small compared to the greatness of it. Luna, on the other hand, had no time for admirations, and started to look for something on the upper rows with the help of a sliding ladder.
“Don’t worry, buddy,” Paul sat down next to Jon on a beanbag. “We’re gonna bring them back. We’ll avert this.”
“I just feel so guilty,” Jon confessed, trying hard to hold the tears in.
“Why would you feel guilty?”
“Because I’m an idiot! Earlier today, we had this huge fight and I blamed them for whatever it is that happened at the pool... And I wasn’t able to recognize that, for these past ten months they’ve done nothing more than to please me. I was disrespectful and rude and if they’re gone... I don’t know if I can handle feeling like this forever. I need to apologize.”
Sarah scooted over and hugged Jon.
“We’ll bring them back. Rest assured. You’ll have plenty of time to apologize and celebrate with them once this is all over.”
“Yeah, mate!”
“Thank you guys. You’re my best friends, do you know that right?”
“Yeah, we do,” Sarah giggled. “And we love you very much.”
Their emotional moment was interrupted by Luna.
“Here,” she showed them a hardcover book the color of obsidian. It was thick and about one thousand pages. “Uses of Obsidian.”
“Are you sure this will be useful, mom?” Paul wondered. “I mean...”
“This features every single use Obsidian has, such as the classic ones like lighting up and stuff and more mythological ones. I’ve read this a long time ago for a history essay I had to write but I remember it most clearly that some references are made to a certain ice entity.”
“An ice entity?”
“Yeah,” Luna explained. “Here: 'Obsidian can also be used to fight forces of darkness. It is believed that about one hundred years ago, before the Neopian civilization was built, this was the main weapon used on Terror Mountain by the ice caves men to protect themselves from the Icy entity.'”
“Does it say exactly what it is?”
“No,” despite the negative response, Luna doesn’t slow down. “But, lucky for us, I bought a look of books on Terror Mountain’s history when we went there last year, so we’ll have a lot to read.”
She guided them to a section about ancient history. Jon was impressed by how organized everything was, categories and subcategories. Each one of them picked up and book and started reading about how was life years and years ago, when darkness monsters still roamed the earth and governed lands. They stayed up reading all night long, not without noticing, however, the frosty layer that started to substitute the marble floor polished brightness. It seemed as though it didn’t matter how many books they read, the answer was nowhere to be found. Mentions of the icy monster were frequent, but information about it was scarce and relatively useless.
Sarah was the one to break through.
“YES!” she jumped out of the beanbag. Morning was dawning and the room was already cold enough to force them to wear strong wintry clothes. “Found it!”
“What?” Luna asked. She had a cup of coffee on her hands.
“Read it for us then,” Paul dropped his book and looked up to his sister.
“'Of all the darkness forces that assailed the earth, the Icy Entity was perhaps, the worst. No one knows how exactly it came to be, but some believe it was created by a powerful icy witch that decided to lash out on her own land after newcomers threatened her. The Icy Entity attacked Terror Mountain natives during the night. On their sleep, the Entity, a dense steam monster, created ice and controlled it in a way that it enveloped people and froze them into a coma. On daytime, it just simply hid as a mist atop the Mountain, lurking, picking its victims. Natives started to suspect and kept watches to prevent this sort of happenings. During those watches, one of them discovered that Obsidian was able to break through the frost created, a hailed discovery, since fire didn’t work. Despite their attempts to save the townsfolk, nothing worked and the Entity progressed day by day, contaminating more and more people and objects, turning every single village into a frozen realm, indifferent to heat or any other weapon besides the Obsidian. But, if anyone grew close enough to try and threaten the lively ice, they would freeze them as well and scatter the threat.'”
“Is that it?” Jon demanded. “No way to stop it?”
“No, there’s more, I just really needed to breath,” Sarah laughed. “Ok, hmm... 'The icy monster managed to crystallize over 30 villages on Terror Mountain, but the ice caves man atop the mountain suspected the mist and started to plot ways to put an end to that nasty monster. Aware that obsidian was dangerous to the Entity, they built a machine that managed to trap the steam inside. Since there was no known way of actually killing it, they opted to imprison it. The machine, made of obsidian rocks, had at its center a device created by a powerful witch that lived with them. The device worked as a vacuum cleaner, and it sucked in the Entity, trapping it in there. The machine, about six feet tall and heavy managed to trap every bit of the Entity, thus leading to the unfreezing of villages and people. It is known that the Entity can’t cross obsidian, that way it is trapped in there forever. The machine was sealed with a magical gilded key sculptured by the ice cave men. Both machine and key were buried on different places of Neopia to never be found again. The Icy Entity easy powers of reproduction could mean the end of Neopia as we know if unleashed again, since the majority of the population is unaware on how to defend themselves from it.'”
They all fell silent after Sarah finished reading.
“Well... I’ll call it a lucky guess that I randomly decided to poke at you with the first thing I saw, and call it an even more random one that the first thing I saw was an Obsidian dagger!” Thom bragged.
“What are the chances this machine was buried under Moltara? It would explain the fact that it is coming through the pipes,” Luna pondered.
“Yeah, but someone used the key to open it,” Sarah pointed out.
“Isn’t that risky? I mean, how did that people survive the eye-bulging cold?” Jon doubted. “And why would someone use the machine? What’s the point if it’s gonna end up dooming everyone themselves included?”
“Maybe they found a way to protect from it,” Paul suggested.
“Well, isn’t it clear?” Luna scoffed. “As for the reasons, I’m not sure, but whoever set this up is probably using some sort of obsidian-made hazmat suit.”
“We need to stop it. We need to go down there and stop it,” Sarah urged.
“You guys are not going anywhere.”
“And what would you have us do, mom? Stay here and freeze to death? If you haven’t noticed, the whole floor is crystallized, and I think we should get the hell out of here before it creeps up our legs,” Thom pointed out.
“He’s right,” Jon said. “I don’t know what you guys are going to do but I’m going down the caves and I’m gonna find this machine wherever it is. You’ve heard the story. It will reverse everything, and it is the only chance I have to bring my parents back!” Jon stood up. “I’m gonna get myself one of those obsidian-made hazmat suits, wherever they are!”
“I’m coming with you,” Luna hurried.
“Well, if you are, so are we!” Paul and Sarah demanded in unison. Talking in unison was indeed their thing.
Together, the four of them set out to Obsidian Quarry. Once they reach the outside, they noticed something altogether unexpected - it was snowing.
“No one mentioned snow on the books,” said Sarah.
“It doesn’t matter,” Luna stopped. “Guys, the steam is probably on the ventilation system by now. Moltara will be done for in less than hours now. Snow will probably freeze everything it touches.”
Way above them, the rocks at the ceiling of Moltara were already turned into dangerous and pointy icebergs. Snowflakes were looming ever closer.
“We really need to run before it freezes us.”
“If it freezes us, it’s over. We’re the only ones who know about this,” Jon noticed.
“That’s unwise,” Luna explained. “If we get frozen doing this, no one else has a clue. We need to alert other people.”
“We don’t have time, Luna! You’re the one who said these are the super snowflakes of doom. We can’t get it wrong. The stakes are high here,” Jon debated, harsh on his voice tone. “We need to start running.”
“Where?” Luna asked.
“The only safe place,” Jon breathed out, but he needn’t answer.
“The Obsidian Quarry," said Paul and Sarah, in unison.
Jon assumed the lead in running up a mountain of stacked obsidian. Though his feet hurt, he wouldn’t dare stop and get hit by a snowflake. From up here, he could testify to Luna’s theory about the snowflakes: they were, in fact, deadly. He saw one of them hit the roof of a home causing the tiles that compose it to freeze almost instantly, the frost spreading into the house itself and down the walls to congeal everything it could find.
Behind, Sarah and Paul tripped their way up the pointed rocks, with Luna bringing up the rear. They reached the peak, and the fall down the obsidian pile would be an awful one. Ten feet down, they saw a frozen house, but its surroundings were untouched.
“We need to slide down,” Jon prompted them. “Be careful.”
He was the first to jump in, rolling down the rocks with fierce speed. He collapsed with the dusty sand floor and started running looking for shelter. Snowflakes were falling like feathers, slow but steady, and they needed somewhere safe to plot their next moves. When they reunited, they continue to run through the quarry, making their way through the labyrinth of obsidian stacks.
Finally, they found an awning made of obsidian. Below it, the snowflakes wouldn’t be able to reach them.
“What do we do now?” Paul panted.
“We need to find a way down the caves,” Luna began explaining. “I’ve studied some maps of Moltara and I know for a fact that the quarry has an entrance to the piping system. If we find the pipes, we can follow it down to wherever it is that Entity is permeating through.”
“Great plan, but we need apparatus,” Jon said, rubbing his hurt forehead. “We can’t just go down there, we’ll freeze.”
“That’s the point,” Luna ventured a walk past the awning’s limits, looking for something. “If we fail, no one else knows how to stop this we need to have a backup plan! I know, Jon, the stakes are high and I agree with you. The whole town’s probably iced up by now, but we already know for a fact that there are ways of bringing them back! Hurrying up will only be prejudicial to us.”
“Yeah, Jon,” reasoned Sarah. “We know you’re eager to get your parents back and so are we. But we need to tread lightly here.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right. What do you suggest?”
Suddenly, out of nowhere, a small obsidian fragment hit Paul in the head.
“OI!”
“What was that?” Luna yelled, angered.
“Hey, right here!” from the stack opposite them, through a small opening between two obsidians, there were two pair of eyes. A hand appeared through the fence and signaled them to come over.
“Should we?” Jon hesitated.
“I think these are quarry workers... Maybe they noticed the same thing we did: obsidian saves lives,” Luna smiled. “Let’s go, they look like they’ve got a nice shelter going on.”
Together, they ran across the obsidian, dodging impending snowflakes. Some parts of the dust-covered floor were already frosted. To their surprise, when they reached the workers, they simply opened a door to let them in.
Inside, it looked like a small office room, with a bathroom, a refrigerator, some desks and cabinets.
“How’s this even...” Jon began.
“Possible?” began the agitated Magma Krawk. “Yeah, we noticed these little flakes of cold, nightmarish death, and we also noticed it didn’t freeze through obsidian so we decided to build ourselves some shelter, you know, until someone solves it!” the Krawk smile broadly. “Can I get you anything, Neocola, coffee?”
“Actually, we’re the ones who set off to stop it,” Paul grinned. “And yeah, I’ll take a can of Neocola, please!”
“Hey, Mord, help him out here with that Neocola can! Come on guys, make yourselves comfortable and tell me all about stopping it.”
“Actually... How would you guys fancy playing the hero as well?”
“Us?” the Krawk was giggling. He looked really dorky.
“Yeah!” Luna smiled broadly.
“Luna, what are you doing?” Jon mumbled.
“Well, guys... We need your help, desperately, but you’ll need to be brave. Besides, if you do it, everyone will remember your name, because, believe me, they’ll be talking about this for ages! Ages!”
The Krawk looked at Mord, a gigantic red Skeith, and started croaking.
“Let’s do it, Mord! Let’s do it, Mord! What should we do, Lady?”
“Run. Back to the Neopia Central, reach the Defenders and tell them about what’s going on here.”
Jon understood at once what Luna’s plan was. Very crafty indeed.
“Tell them everything. The freezing snow, alive ice, about how obsidian can break through and tell them that the Icy Entity is causing it all. They’ll probably know what this is all about,” Jon completed.
“Going to Neopia Central?” Mord jumped. “LET’S GO, UNI!”
“Uni?” Jon asked.
“That’s my name,” replied the smiling Krawk.
“So, what do you say?” Luna insisted.
“Why don’t you go?” Uni eyed them suspiciously.
“Because we’re going down the caves to see what is going on. We’re really setting off to stop this. It could take weeks for the defenders to get here, but we at least need the guarantee that if we fail, someone will come for us and take care of this. If people don’t stop this, in less than a semester Neopia will freeze entirely. We’re all going to enter a state of nothingness and it will last forever.”
“Until the sun comes out,” Uni pointed out.
“No. This is dark magic, Uni,” Sarah tried to look frightening “Sun won’t melt it.”
The workers shared a glance. Then started laughing altogether.
“We’ll do it!”
“Great!” Luna exclaimed. “Now, we need apparatus.”
“Lady, that we have,” Mord laughed and opened the cabinet.
And indeed, some stuff in there Jon had never seen in their entire life.
“Wait,” Luna scooted over to the cabinet “Are these obsidian-made hazmat suits?”
“Yeah!” Mord smiled. “Pretty cool, huh? I love how shiny and purple-y they look, they are so cute I’m gonna wear them.”
“Why did you start producing this?”
“Uh, some guy requested,” Uni explained.
“Some guy... Who?”
“A Kacheek,” said Uni while dressing up.
Luna looked like she was struck by a lightning.
“Was he white, really old?”
“Yeah, how d’you know?”
Jon eyed Luna, waiting for answers. Sarah and Paul were also confused. As the workers dressed up to leave towards Neopian Central, Luna searched through some weaponry found inside the cabinet. She picked up two hammers made of something Jon couldn’t identify, five potion flasks and two needles.
“What are these for?”
She didn’t answer.
Without giving off suspicions, she paced the room and stopped behind her own children. Then, she whispered. “I’m sorry,” and pinned the needles to the back of their heads. Paul and Sarah instantly blacked out and fell to the floor, unconscious.
“WHAT THE??” Jon backed three steps, afraid.
“Lady... Did you...” Uni’s mouth was open.
“You two need to go now! You need to get to the defenders as fast as you can and you tell them everything I ordered you too but add the fact that Vaughn is here!”
“Who’s Vaughn?” Mord asked.
“It doesn’t matter, please, go now!” Luna’s eyes were jumping out of its sockets. Her Draik wings were shaking.
“You really are afraid,” Jon noticed how weird Uni looked without the broad smile he carried with him all the time. “Come on, Mord. We have a long voyage ahead of us.”
They left.
“Care explaining?” Jon asked, crossing his arms in front of his body.
“Help me sort through the weapons, Jon. We’ll need them. This whole thing... It goes further than I thought.”
“Why? Who’s this Vaughn freak and why did you knock out your children?”
“Exactly because they are my children!” said Luna, her voice high-pitched. “Thom, don’t you see this is dangerous? I can’t put them through it. I was going to accept their tagging along because I thought that we’d be safe with these suits, but we won’t! When it comes to Vaughn, we’ll not ever be safe and the chance of getting out of it alive is minimum.”
“Then why are we going? Let’s wait for the defenders!”
“Because there’s no time,” Luna explained. “Vaughn probably has an agenda, he always has. If he’s doing this, he has motive. He wouldn’t base his revenge on freezing people and living alone... No...”
“Revenge?”
“Yeah, look Jon, remember, no time left! We need to sort through weaponry.”
Together, they selected hammers, swords, potions. Unfortunately, since they couldn’t hide big apparatus inside the hazmat suits’ pockets, they had to go with small but useful things. Obsidian-breaking hammers, healing potions, smoke bombs. They filled their pockets to the brim with it.
“We gotta go,” Luna nodded towards the door.
Jon opened it, and looked back one more time to his best friends lying on the floor, unconscious. Once again, he felt like crying, but he needed to be brave in order to be fair to his parents, to repay them for everything they’d done for him. It was useful to keep in mind that he was doing this because of them.
Luna knelt down besides her children’s bodies and kissed each one of them on the cheek. Jon heard her promise that she would go back, that they would all reunite once again. Then, they left.
Outside, snowflakes were crumbling to the pavement way quicker. He wondered whether Mord and Uni were out of Moltara by now, and how were things outside. Together, Jon and Luna continued pacing the quarry, looking for the entrance to the caves where the piping system awaited them. Where Vaughn awaited.
“Hey, Luna... Who’s this Vaughn?”
“Do you know anything about Atlas of the Ancients?”
“Must have skipped that class.”
“The adventurers who discovered Moltara, four years ago?”
“Yeah, heard of that,” Jon nodded.
“Then you must know that prior to that, things were very different in Moltara. Thankfully, I wasn’t here to see it, I managed to escape when my children were only babies... But it was horrible, Jon...”
She seemed lost in recollection.
“Well, that seems apocalyptic.”
“Indeed it was,” Luna agreed.
“But I still don’t get it, who’s this Vaughn character?”
“He was the emperor of cruelty... Vaughn, the Slayer.”
The entrance to the caves was hidden behind a small pile of gigantic obsidian rocks. They had to crawl to enter, and once inside, they were forced to snake through causing the end of history time. Jon kept thinking about what he heard while he snaked through the dusty sand tunnel. For the first time today he wished there was ice here. It’d be a lot easier if they could just skid their way through.
The tight tunnel opened up on a completely frozen cavern. The icy floor was already breaching into the tunnel. The stalactites loomed so close that they looked almost threatening.
“Back to storytelling?” Jon suggested.
“Actually, I think we should follow really quiet and try not to raise any alarms.”
“Yeah, that’s probably smarter.”
They continued on dodging congealed stalagmites and avoid slipping. Contrary to Jon’s preconceptions, the hazmat suits were actually easy to wear and not heavy at all. It still felt incredibly risky to be stepping on evil ice like that, but he grew accustomed to it and accepted the fact that Obsidian was in fact a most powerful shield.
“If you see a pipe, warn me.” Luna instructed him.
It took a while until they found the first pipe. Completely frozen, as expected, it plunged vertically up towards the city about twenty feet above them. They followed the horizontal parcel of it. Every five meters, another vertically ramification boosted up, but surely the gap that allowed the Entity in was in its horizontal branch, provided the Machine was buried below them. But since they need to make a decision, that seemed like the most plausible one.
They descended further and further into the core of Moltara, following the pipes as the plunged down, took turns for the left or for the right. Sometimes, when met with bifurcations, they signaled it with a pen Jon found inside one of his pockets and chose a path. Splitting up was not at all an option.
“Look,” Jon pointed out. “The path ends.”
Luna checked out, and it turns out he was right. The cavern continued up to a point, but there was this gigantic cliff between two halves of the underground section. The pipe, of course, continued through.
“What do we do now?” Luna asked.
“Maybe try another path?”
“No, I’m pretty sure we’re on the right track.”
“And why’s that?” Jon’s skepticism was showing.
“Well, yesterday morning no one felt a tad bit cold, but the Magma Pool wasn’t working anymore which means it was starting to freeze, but no other place was, that means the Entity reached the pool first. We entered through the Obsidian, so surely we must go all the way north towards the Magma pool, and not further down south. If we go back, we’d be going past the Obsidian and past the Town Hall. If we want reach the pipe that reaches directly into the Magma Pool, we need to continue this way.”
“Nice geography skills,” Jon praised her.
“Well, what we have to do now is the contrary of nice, though.”
“You’re not actually suggesting we...”
Before he could finish his question, Luna was already sitting atop the pipe, both her hands firm on its icy surface. She started sliding front, slowly. Jon observed her actions and did the same, but not with the same calm. He was fully aware of his legs dangling off a precipice, and he imagined what the fall would be like.
It seemed as though the pipe went on forever. Jon tried to keep his mind off things, thought of his parents and thought of shared moments with his best friends... And then, out of the blue, he thought of his days on the pound. The nightmare it was. His grip on the pipe loosened and he felt himself sliding sideways.
“WHOAH!” he yelled.
Wrapping both his hands around the pipe for dear life, Jon found himself entirely hanging. His hands were sliding on the ice, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to move or hold on for very long.
“JON!” Luna cried.
“Help me, please!”
Jon wasn’t that far from the border, but it was still long enough to try and leap.
“Balance your body forward!” Luna instructed.
“I can’t, Luna... My hands are skittering, the ice is too wet!”
“Wait a minute!”
Luna disappeared into the darkness. Left alone, Jon tried to calm down by counting to ten, but it only served to make him more nervous. He tried scratching the obsidian on the frost in order to break it, but the layers of ice were tightly woven there and he needed more strength in order to break the chunks. He also tried lifting himself up, but he the slippery surface made that impossible.
When Luna came back, she was holding a thin but long stalagmite. She held one end of it and carefully stood on the edge of the precipice, stretching her arms so that Jon could hold the other hand.
“Keep one hand on the pipe and hold the stalagmite with the other!”
He did so, and Luna started pulling. It worked just like a sheave, and then Jon was close enough for her to help him up.
“That was close,” he had tears on his eyes and his heart thumped strong.
“We need to get going.”
They continued their adventure further into the iced caves for what seemed like an hour. The piping system was never ending. They took the care of stepping lightly because of the strong echo reverberations, but stealth was never manageable.
Without warning, they heard a cackle. Instantly they stopped.
“We’re close,” Luna mouthed.
Jon nodded, trying to keep his breathing still.
“What do we do?” he asked, completely silently.
“The only possible plan is to try and break his hazmat suit. We have no chance on a fight. Besides, I bet he has far more weapons then we do.”
“And how are we going to do that?”
“We find him, we pray that we aim well and we throw these little hammers at Vaughn. If we succeed, we wait for him to freeze, switch the machine back on so it sucks the Entity back and we steal the key.”
“But then Vaughn will be awake again.”
“Yeah, but he will be a bit perplexed. We run with the key and throw it off that big cliff we passed.”
“He will catch up to us eventually...” Jon pointed out. “What will we do then?”
“YOU DIE!” A voice so stern and old filled their ears, so loud and powerful it made them flinch. Vaughn came walking out of the shadows, smiling devilishly. “I sensed your presence about one hour ago, when that silly one fell off the pipe. You should really scream less, kid.”
Jon and Luna didn’t know what to say.
“Nice plotting skills you have. A lot of holes on it, though... Well, not everyone can be perfect, right?” he turned to the shadows. “Rhoman, pass me the magical ropes, please.”
From the darkness, another Kacheek emerged; Jon could sense Rhoman was the weak link. He was afraid, probably coerced. Maybe they could use that for their benefit. Carrying a thick, black string with him, Rhoman stopped before his master, who picked up the rope hastily. Vaughn approached Luna and tied her first, then, when he got close enough to Jon, the Shoyru lifted the hammer against him and broke through the thigh part of his hazmat suit.
“Oh, so nasty of you,” he flickered. Then, he grabbed hold of Jon’s wrist and wretched the hammer free. “But you know what they say, payback’s awful!”
Vaughn broke the left foot sole of Jon’s suit and then tied him up.
“Come on, both of you up, you’re coming with me," Vaughn said. "Rhoman, drag them, please.”
Rhoman, the other Kacheek, grabbed hold of the ends of both ropes and started pulling them forward. Jon could touch his left feet to the ground and equilibrium was hard to achieve. He knew he was only prolonging the unavoidable: he would end up frozen.
“Wouldn’t you know, Rhoman? It is your lucky day, you won’t have to sacrifice yourself anymore. We got two very bold and unwise citizens to do that for you!”
They continued down a path of ice until they reached the place Jon and Luna had been looking all along: the place where the machine was.
Jon admired it - it was a big, monumental, purple and sparkly, cylindrical construction. He noticed the gilded key plugged in. He imagined that closing the device would cause the vacuum effect to go on. All they needed to do was get to the key, but how were they going to do that when bound by magical ropes like these?
“You’ve been hiding out here all along?” Luna asked, drawing Vaughn’s attention.
Vaughn scoffed.
“Let them go, Rhoman. You both can sit down.”
Rhoman dropped the ropes and Jon fell to the floor, relieved for making it through.
“So, Draik... You’ve studied your history books, uh?”
“Actually, there’s no mention of you anywhere, Vaughn. But I was here when you rose to power. After the discovery, Roxton made sure no one would discover what was going on down here. You were officially forgotten.”
That seemed to infuriate him.
“Good... How they like me now, huh? They’re all freezing to death while I’m here, the only one capable of saving all of their lives.”
“To death?” Jon scoffed.
“Well, this one, on the other hand, hasn’t been studying his books. Yeah, son, to death, who do you think I am? Roxton Colchester IV?
“No. Once the machine is turned on again, it sucks the snow back in and everyone one who’s frozen simply unfreeze,” Jon persisted.
“Yeah, you’re quite right... Up until a point, that is. I mean, for how long do you think they can handle being frozen? Don’t you know that, after a while, they just succumb?”
Jon’s mouth fell open. Were his parents dead? No, that could be happening. He thrashed against the ropes, and accidentally stepped into ice. He instantly began freezing.
“Wow, kiddo, you’re a fast believer. Trust yourself more next time,” Vaughn started laughing hysterically. “Freezing to death is just an expression, chill... Well, but I guess it is death for you,” he looked straight into Jon’s eyes, ignoring Luna’s shrieks all the while. “because I’m never unfreezing you.”
Exactly two hours later, Vaughn decided it was time to finish his master plan. Luna, hungry and afraid of being the next in line to get iced, decided it was time to discuss.
“Please, Vaughn...”
“No, lady. Don’t please me. I don’t have time for excuses. This Moltarans, they deserve to suffer for what they did to me.”
“What they did to YOU? You ruled over them based on threats! You had a bomb planted under Moltara and threatened to kill us all if we didn’t follow your orders!”
“BUT I WAS KIND! I gave you all. We prospered! And then, two ridiculous explorers came along and outed Moltara to Neopia. Then, your people turned on me, and I’m sure you weren’t here to see it, but they did! They called in the Defenders, they came and destroyed everything I’ve achieved, gave power to some commoners! We were fine without Neopia knowing about us and the minute we were put under the spotlight, you used to take me down! The Defenders still look for me! They don’t reckon I’ve been hiding in these caves for the past four years, no.”
“You’ve been out here the whole time?”
“Yes, love, I have!” he was so angry his white fur and becoming redder. “Until I stumbled upon this beauty right here. That’s when I decided to get in touch with those on the cities that were still loyal to me.”
“Loyal to you?” Luna snorted. “Who would be loyal to you if all you’ve done was enslave these people and govern their lives for them? Heavily punishing those who’d dare to cross you even in the slightest of ways? Who could be loyal to a monster LIKE YOU?”
“My faithful servant Rhoman, if you want an example,” Vaughn pointed out. “I got in touch with him, escaped those caves to contact him, and he gathered a group of admirers and went after the key. Only he returned... His love for me is so great he was willing to sacrifice himself for my mission.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah,” Vaughn smiled. “But now he won’t have to, because you’ll do that for me.”
“I won’t do anything,” Luna spat.
“You won’t have a choice, love,” Vaughn giggled, as though mocking her innocence. “I need someone to destroy the machine once I’m far away, in order to ensure the Entity will have no way of ever being trapped again. Witches of this age can’t perform this sort of powerful magic anymore, so my monster will continue to be out there.”
“And what’s your plan? Rule a kingdom of frozen things?”
“Quite the contrary. Rule a kingdom where every living Neopet thanks me for their lives. I will supply these hazmat suits to them, production has already started with those nifty workers at the quarry that, by the way, are on my side and aren’t going to tell the Defenders squat, sell to them at the highest price possible, and rule Neopia from Kreludor, where I’ll have freedom to be out of these suits. In order to keep their suits, everyone will have to pay me taxes. How much do they consider their lives to be worth? We’ll find that out. I will not be king of Moltara anymore. I’ll be king of the world!”
Silence fell. Luna noticed there was no way out. Her only beacon of hope has just been destroyed: the quarry workers were working undercover for Vaughn. The Defenders weren’t coming. There was no way out.
Vaughn returned holding a box.
“Let’s talk schemes: this box contains the explosives you’ll be setting up. When? Don’t worry, the explosives will tell you when. Set them up, explode the whole thing, your work’s done! I would program them to explode by themselves, but I don’t how much time I’ll need to strip everything from Moltara, so I need someone down here ready to do so.”
“And what makes you so sure I’ll do it?” bragged Luna.
“The fact that I have your children,” Vaughn shrugged. “Unless you want them to freeze for eternity, you’ll do what I tell you to.”
Luna started sobbing and shrieking. Grief struck her and so did pain.
“Oh, you really trusted Uni and Mord, didn’t you? They’re great actors! Well, on my way out of here, I’ll be picking up your son and your daughter. Mord and Uni took them out of Moltara. I’ll make sure they’re safe. If you don’t explode the machine when I tell you to, I’ll then arrange for you to receive a very nifty gift. Are we understood?”
“Yes,” Luna lowered her head.
“Great,” Vaughn smiled. “Then I think I’ll get going, tons of stuff to do. Shall we, Rhoman?”
“Yes, Lord Vaughn,” Rhoman responded mechanically, miserably.
Luna watched Vaughn walk away when something uncanny happened. He suddenly stopped. Rhoman turned to look at him, completely puzzled. He then fell on his back, completely immobile.
“Lord?”
“RHOMAN?” Luna started yelling. “RHOMAN, I can feel you don’t want to do this. You agree with us that what Vaughn is trying to do is crazy, right? He’s going to take everyone’s free will... Rhoman, listen to me,” she noticed that the Kacheek was looking intently at her. “He doesn’t care about you! If we hadn’t showed up, he would’ve been keen to let you sacrifice yourself. I understand what is like to be manipulated by someone but you’ve been given the chance to break free from Vaughn’s grasp. Before whatever happened loses its power, you need to untie me, please!”
Rhoman started moving on Luna’s direction.
“Please... Don’t tell anyone!”
“I won’t tell anyone Rhoman, rest assured I won’t. You need to believe me, I want to work with you to stop this madness.”
Hesitantly, Rhoman unlaced the rope and Luna was set free.
“Do you know how to operate this thing?”
“You have to turn the key backwards to turn it on. It’ll siphon the Entity back in and lock the device.”
Luna thanked him and held the key. She felt power surging through her veins. Carefully, she rotated it backwards. Instantly, riot began. All the frosty covering that dominated every single surface started to magically dissolve and prickle back into its steam form, hastily getting imbibed by the machine. A strong, cold wind started to blow, making Luna shiver. When Jon unfroze, he watched the steam getting sucked in, spiraling everywhere. He could imagine every single person on Moltara retrieving their lives, trying to understand what was going on. For the first time in the past hours, he felt truly happy.
As soon as Luna noticed that Jon had came back to life, she started to jump around him to celebrate. They embraced. Rhoman watched from a distance as the Entity wrestled against the churning force that kept attracting it like a magnet.
“Hey, help me out!” Jon started running to where Vaughn lied paralyzed. He tried to pick him up. As soon as the other two understood what he was trying to do, they helped him.
Together, they climbed up a small rock, from atop which they could throw his body directly into the machine. The white mass that generated on and around it made it harder, but they got it right anyway. Vaughn fell with a strong thud into the machine. From that higher spot they watched as the smoke got sucked in. The whole process took about twenty minutes. Then, finally, it stopped.
“Is it over?” Luna asked, panting.
“I think so,” Jon responded.
The machine closed itself with a loud BOOM. Light started emanating from inside. The whole chamber darkened.
“We need to dispose of the key, forever!” Rhoman noted.
“Yeah, we do,” Jon agreed. “Thank you, Rhoman, by the way.”
“Jon, you had to be here to see it. Vaughn almost won! I really don’t know what happened, he simply stopped.”
“Well, I might have something to do with that,” Jon winked.
“What do you mean?”
“Come on, do you really think I’d try hitting him on his thigh with that hammer? If I was serious about freezing him, I’d hit him on his foot. But freezing him, as we came to agree, was no solution. He’d wake up as soon as the machine siphoned the Entity in and we would be left with a very angered ninja killer slayer whatever! So, while you were discussing and he was tying you up, I sipped paralyzing potion on the hammer. When I went for it, I made sure to get the potion into his system by hurting him with the hammer, hurting his skin. That’s what I did. I took a long while because of the small quantity, I guess.”
Luna was perplexed, her mouth open, gazing at Jon.
“You are a true genius!”
“Well, I do my best!” Jon shrugged, laughing.
“It isn’t over yet,” Luna remembered. “And we need to get going. There’s a town’s worth of explanations to do, a key to dispose of and my children may be in danger!”
“Why?” Jon frowned.
“Mord and Uni, they were Vaughn’s followers and according to Vaughn, they took them away from Moltara!”
“Oh my, Luna, we need to run, NOW!”
Together, they started sprinting their way back.
With the key in his possession, Jon slithered on the dirty floor, emerging seconds later on the Obsidian Quarry. He looked around - no more possessed snowflakes, no more frozen rooftops. Moltara was up and about. He disposed of his Obsidian hazmat suit and undressed, those winter clothes weren’t for Moltara.
“Rhoman, do you have any idea where they might have taken them?” Luna asked.
“No, I’m sorry,” Rhoman sighed. “But your children are fine. They were given orders to protect both of them. When you showed up at the quarry claiming to be heroes, they contacted Vaughn and they plotted everything. I heard him saying that no harm should come to the children because they’d be useful.”
“Yeah, but that’ll probably change once they realize that the Entity is not with us anymore,” Jon scratched his head. “What do we do now?”
“I’m not sure, but we need to figure something out. Where could they be?” Luna looked at the hidden house beneath the obsidians. “Maybe we’ll discover something in there?” she pointed.
“Yeah, it’s worth the shot.”
Inside, they found nothing. The cabinet was completely empty and there was sign of struggle because some of the desks were broken.
“What happened here?” Luna’s voice quivered.
“We went on our own adventure!” answered Paul, jumping out on them. “How did you do it?” he asked enthusiastically.
“How did you escape?” Luna asked. “I injected you with a sleeping potion that supposedly lasts 24 hours.”
“You injected us the sleeping potion that lasts one hour, mom,” Sarah yawned.
“I can’t believe it,” said Luna, flustered.
“Yeah, epic fail, actually, very rude of you to inject us with something without further warning. But I guess it was for the best in the end. Did you know those weird guys worked for that Vaughn freak? Yeah, turns out they were going to take us to Faerieland!”
“Yeah, how did you know?”
“When we woke up, they were here,” Sarah began. “But the pair of you weren’t. We talked to each other quietly and then decided to pretend we were still out. When they got close enough, Paul hit them in their chin, I stood up and sacked the weapon cabinet... It was messy, but we won in the end.”
“If you won, where are they now?” Luna eyed the place suspiciously.
“Believe it or not, they ran away after we beat them up... And, of course, after they noticed that the snow was getting sent to wherever it is it came from.”
“So they escaped?” Jon sounded bitter.
“You can’t win all the time, but cheers mate! Let’s go find your parents!” Paul grabbed him by the hand and they started running down the quarry.
When Jon got home, his mom and dad were pacing on the living room, utterly bewildered and nervous. The minute he entered they stopped to look at him as though he was some painting in a museum.
“Guys,” Jon began. “I love you so very much, and I’m so, so sorry for everything I said the other day... I just really want you to know that.”
“Jon!” his mom hugged him tightly, and his father hushed to do the same.
It was one of those moments that could last forever. Jon felt whole again, with his parents here, by his side. Loved. All the fears and pain dissipated once again, giving way to peace and tenderness to settle down inside him.
Later that day, there was a Moltara assembly at the front of the Town Hall. The Mayor gathered everyone to talk about the incident and Jon was invited to talk alongside Luna, Paul and Sarah. Together, the four of them told everything, from beginning to end, but Jon’s was the bigger praise.
“Everything I did, I did for my parents. When they froze, I didn’t know what would happen to me, how I would survive. All I knew is that I had to undo it. Because that’s what true love is about. It is about making sacrifices for the people you care. Is about giving yourself entirely to that feeling. And that is what they’ve been doing to me ever since they took me out of the pound and gave me a new life here. Today, I truly feel like a Moltaran and I’d like to say that there is no other place on Neopia that I’d rather be with. This is my home!” they all cheered him. Sarah and Luna cried and Paul flew around him throwing confetti. “And I’ve realized this town... It is just like me. Know why? Because it has a dark past it tries to hide but somehow it just keeps coming back. I know what it is like. I’ve know suffering before just like you, but we pushed through and we’re all here now. We are victorious. And, it doesn’t matter how hard it is to leave the past in the past, we need to do it. I’m starting today and I’d like to invite you to do the same.”
Applause roared through the entire town.
“Well, in name of our Victory and of course if the mayor allows, I’d like to invite you all to a pool party, down at the Magma pool!”
The mayor’s nod was the confirmation they needed to start the festivities.
“Come with me, please,” Jon whispered to Sarah, Paul and Luna.
Before heading down to the magma pool, the four of them stopped by Jon’s house. In his bedroom, hidden beneath his pillow, they found the key.
“You didn’t dispose of it yet?” questioned Sarah
“No, but I’ve already decided where to put it.”
“And where’s that?”
“Well, a place only true Moltarans can enter: the magma pool. And I wanna be the one to do the honors, dip deep, place it at the bottom and, hopefully, emerge Magma!”
“Looks like a plan,” Paul smiled. “Now, LET’S GO!”
The magma pool was crowded when they arrived there and even the guard allowed himself a break to go for a swim. Jon met up with his parents near the edge, noticing from a distance that Rhoman was having fun on the pool as well with some others Kacheeks he didn’t recognize.
“You guys are the best, you know that?” he asked, smiling.
“No, you are. You save us all, son. You were very brave and smart!”
They hugged once again.
“What’s that on your hand?” asked Gale.
“Oh, that’s the key that sets free the Entity. I’m gonna put it deep into the Magma Pool, that way, only true Moltarans will have access to it. Not that anyone will know it is here, it is a big secret. That machine is too dangerous.”
“Our big hero,” boasted Jenna.
“Well, let’s dive headfirst together, shall we?” suggested Gale.
“Yeah!”
“One... Two... Three!”
They jumped. This time, it was completely different. The heat engrossed Jon’s body and he felt the changing happen. He opened his hand and allowed the gilded key to sink further and further and emerged. He was Magma.
“OHH, look at him all magma!” Sarah chuckled, jumping in.
“You look good that way, Jon,” Luna didn’t feel like swimming, so she sat up on the edge of the pool, with her feet dangling inside the lava.
“Know what I never understood, Luna?”
“What?”
“Why you helped me. I mean, I’ve came to you all desperate and you were so supportive, geez... Thank you, really. It was you who saved us all. Sorry to involve you in something you didn’t need to be involved.”
“I’m an adventurer, Jon. I travel a lot, I like to get myself in danger. That’s just me,” she giggled. “Of course this kind of danger was too much, but I’m happy I helped you. I’m feeling really good about myself right now.”
“So am I,” Jon nodded. “We do make a good team, don’t we? I mean, I think we should start going on dangerous travels, uncovering treasures...”
“Maybe someday,” Luna smiled. “I think some rest is overdue.”
“Tell me about it... Well, next travel you take with my best friends, count me in and we’ll all explore Neopia together! Except of course if you want to go to Terror Mountain. I’m never going to that place!”
Sarah and Paul approached.
“What are you discussing?” inquired Sarah.
“Future travels we’re making,” Luna answered.
“YAY!” the twins exclaimed in unison.
Jon signaled his parents to come over. When they did, he mounted on his father’s back and started waving at people. Everyone praised him that night for overcoming not only a darkness force from the past but also a great enemy of Moltara’s. In fact, he didn’t care for the fame or the praise. He only cared for that moment, in the pool with his best friends and his parents. The people that he loved the most in life. Despite the thrills, the recognition wasn’t the payoff: that moment was. He looked around trying to memorize everything: the way the obsidians shone down on them from the mountains surrounding them, the color of the lava, his mom’s bathing suit, the way Luna’s half-moon glasses were crooked... Of this night, he wanted to remember everything.
He wouldn’t bear missing a thing of the happiest day of his life.
Okay, so, when copying&pasting in here, I did another review and found some mistakes. But I still want you guys to look into it, to find any possible mistakes and that I didn't. I really want this to be published!
Thank you.
It sounds like it has good potential, and you should stick with it.