Help with my protagonist's motivation!

[Komori]

Yeah, Komori's better at the drawrin' than the writing. XP I'm working on my second 30-pg comic, and it needs some help. Honestly, this is the same problem my first comic had, and it's the biggest reason the story's a mess.

I've got her somewhat sorted, but I've come up with some major story beats (and even a chunk of the end), but I haven't actually gotten a firm grip on *why* she's doing any of this.


So my protagonist is Chloe. She's a (newbie) vampire, and doesn't want anyone at her high school to know. (No one really knows vampires exist) She just wants to have the normal high school experience: making friends, being popular, doing well. She has two friends: Rantz, the other vampire at the school, who no one else likes (because he's obnoxious); and Sammy, her cheery best friend who doesn't know Chloe's a vampire.


And my story beats are that she's just recently acquired the vampire power to "entrance" people, but vampire powers don't work in the daytime. She gets a special necklace from the science kid (who no one befriends because he's weird) that turn sunlight into moonlight (the source of a vampire's powers). The school's having a fundraiser, and whoever sells the most candy door-to-door will get to lead/host the homecoming pep rally. And Chloe wants to win this contest (for a reason I can't quite place). So she uses her hypnosis powers to get people to buy her candy, as well as using it on Sammy and other classmates to sabotage their chances. Chloe wins the contest.

But it also turns out her abilities were so overpowered that the entranced people are completely obsessed with her. During the pep rally, all these people burst into the gym like zombies, and Chloe's almost trampled by the hypnotized people (and scared students). She gets help from Rantz and the science kid to mass-hypnotize the whole crowd and sort it all out. (somehow)


My main problem is this: I'm not quite sure why Chloe's trying to lead this pep rally in the first place, and how that ties in with her trying to hypnotize people into doing what she says. I mean, I'm also introducing my jock-boy Drake in this story, but I don't want this to be the cliche that she's trying to win to impress a boy. Like, maybe people see her as strange, so she's doing this to prove she's a team-player, but I fear that's treading too much into Rantz's whole schtick about being the outcast. On the other hand, Rantz purposely puts himself against everyone, whereas Chloe would much rather go along with the crowd. Maybe Chloe's just not very confident, and this would be the jolt to her bravery that she'd need? But she just doesn't seem to me as a timid type. So maybe she's too aggressive? But how does that tie in with hypnosis and pep rallies? AUGH I don't knowww.



Sorry that's a jumbled mess. I guess my main problem is figuring out what motivates her to try and win this contest. Like, if you had the ability to hypnotize people to do your bidding, would you use it and why?

D:


Here are maybe the most pertinent examples of her personality I've been able to put down:
chaoskomori.deviantart.com/art/House-of-Mirrors-p3-404607566
chaoskomori.deviantart.com/art/House-of-Mirrors-p4-404798847
chaoskomori.deviantart.com/art/Vampire-Bites-Laws-of-Snacking-356676520
chaoskomori.deviantart.com/art/Vampire-Bites-Black-Friday-411674374
chaoskomori.deviantart.com/art/Vampire-Bites-Letters-to-Santa-417870209

(As you might be able to tell, most of these comics have been about the characters around her, rather than Chloe as the focus. It's why I want this October's comic to be more centered about her.)

[Twillie]

I'm ready for any challenge with story! Hopefully these ideas can help some. These are just some suggestions that may or may not sound useful to you, and they don't need to be taken to the last detail. They are open to any interpretation you choose.

From seeing Chloe's behavior and hearing the attitude she has towards being a vampire, perhaps you could have her without the drive or want to use her powers to their full potential, if at all. Maybe she doesn't want to flaunt her vampire abilities, leading Rantz to tease her into using her powers. Chloe could argue against him, and Rantz could rebuke with a challenge of using her entrancing powers at least once with the upcoming fundraiser. Then, after Chloe trances a customer the first time just to get Rantz off her back, she finds how useful her newfound powers really are, and takes them a bit too far. Thus, it's not so much winning the fundraiser that motivates her, but more using her powers at the initial moment, not thinking about what lies ahead in the future.

Or, another idea, perhaps this fundraiser and pep assembly somehow offers Chloe a chance of growing farther from Rantz. I don't know how close or estranged their relationship may be, so this could be out of character for her. Basically, though, perhaps if Chloe won this fundraiser and got to host the pep assembly, there would be a greater focus on her, or less on any suspicion of her being a vampire. This could also give opportunity for her to not be so dependent on Rantz's company, or it could make a better excuse for her to be more distant with him. The irony, however, comes when Chloe discovers that selling the candy is not so easy. The chances of her winning looking bleak, she has to resort to using her newfound vampire powers to win. As she starts taking a lead and the attention of the other students, she could be more distant to Rantz, who takes the treatment poorly. Then, when Chloe needs help with the pep assembly disaster, her resorting to Rantz's help could create a strength or new understanding in their relationship.

Basically when deciding a character's motivation, it helps to consider their current surroundings and situations. When a new scenario hits them, the character will usually become interested if it can help aid with a problem they're already dealing with. That also helps establish character, showing what the person cares and thinks about most of the time. It's also much easier and more realistic to have the character relate the new situation to themselves rather than just have the situation randomly capture their interest. The latter can work sometimes, though, like if the character enjoys perhaps dancing, and there's suddenly an opportunity to be part of a large dance show. There has to be a reason why the character enjoys dancing though, and them striving to be part of the show can show that they are dedicated or overzealous.

 

Hopefully some helpful advice for this and future storylines

[Komori]

That really is some helpful advice, Twillie! It's definitely a different way around the problem that I hadn't considered before, which I can definitely use, since this way around isn't helping any. XD Especially about motivating her with other things besides just winning the fundraiser. Hmmmmmm...

[Sabre]

You also said she wants to have a regular high school experience and be popular, make friends and do well, right? If she wants to be popular, what's a better way to do that than to win the contest? Perhaps her wanting to win this contest is a way to also complete those goals, along with Twillie's suggestions. :3

[Gav]

Popularity was one of my first thoughts, too.

Alternatives might be a possible fallout/jealousy with Sammy - maybe Chloe offered to help Sammy, but was rebuffed (whether good-naturedly or not) for some reason and decides to go up against her to prove a point? Or Sammy's just naturally gifted/charismatic and Chloe feels slighted by that during the pep rally. It might be able to tie in with the whole confidence-booster if you want to lean that way, and in the end after too much attention she decides she's okay with not being in the spotlight or naturally attracting people.

A hidden angle might involve Master Aras - maybe his challenge is to see how well she can attract attention, rather than just blending in all the time (for whatever vampiric subterfuge or espionage lesson). And maybe Rantz is doing better (because well, he's kind of an outcast), and Chloe has a competitive side that drives her to not lose to Rantz, and winning the pep rally would be exactly what she needs to bump her standing.

[Komori]

It does seem like the popularity aspect is the most reasonable reason. I guess I'm just paranoid about popularity being too cliche for a female character, maybe? I mean, it's something I have to tread carefully on, anyway.

[Twillie]

Popularity might work better as a secondary motivation rather than Chloe's first priority. It's all up to you on how faithful the story is to her character, as you know her best. The only thing I would say about popularity though is that since she doesn't want to be discovered as a vampire and doesn't want to stick out too much, becoming top of the fundraiser and directing the pep assembly would probably attract more than the desired amount of attention.

[Komori]

I thought about this a bit more, and I think instead of "popularity" as the driving force, I think it'd fit better if it were "fitting in." That way it doesn't run contrary to her flying-under-the-radar desires of the previous comic. It'll probably require me rethinking the fundraiser a bit, as well as what catalyst is going to drive her out of hiding to using her vampire powers in the daylight. If I can find that reason, then I think it should all work together. I think.