Post by calvinseviltwin on Feb 13, 2003 19:29:31 GMT -5
I thought I'd post this here... it's a story about a group of my friends... the laungage is a bit strong... but I think the opening is funny
“STOP THAT!” Melissa yelled attempting to stab Alex with a spork as his hand attempted to steal a french-fry.
It was another day at my sanity challenged lunch table. Melissa was talking about Bon Jovi’s ass and Alex was happily singing about Spam. I sighed and poked Melissa.
“Melissa, can you answer a question for me?”
“Yeah dude?” she asked.
“Why can Mrs. Fork and Mr. Electrical socket,” I began
“Be friiiiiiiiends?” the three of us concluded cracking up.
“That one never gets old,” I grinned.
“I’ve lost my mind!” Alex grinned, sounding like B.E.N. from Treasure Planet.
“What mind? You have one?” Melissa, his girlfriend, asked.
“She’s right!” I added in, with a sly grin.
“Shut up,” Alex sighed.
“Gnomes,” I taunted.
“What about them?”
“Male gnomes with no on/off buttons,” I grinned. Both Alex and Melissa twitched.
“WOULD YOU STOP TALKING ABOUT THE GNOME?” Melissa yelled.
“Ok then… I’ll sing the doom song!” I laughed.
“I think I’d prefer the gnomes,” Melissa sighed banging her head on the table.
“Ok… let’s all change the subject,” Alex finally suggested.
“darn it… I gotta go check some stuff out at the library for Lit class,” I remembered suddenly.
“Dude, I’ll come with you,” Melissa nodded. “So long as I don’t have to baby-sit my lil bro again.”
“Eeep! I think Sasha burning in hell would be much more pleasant,” I said.
“With his banana! Can’t forget the banana!” Alex chimed in.
“Shut up Alex!” Melissa and I hissed together.
“Shutting up!” Alex laughed.
“Can I poke his on/off button?” I asked.
“NO! That’s my job!” Melissa snapped quickly. Alex and I starred in mute horror for a moment,
“That is SO wrong,” I blinked.
“I’ll agree with that,” Alex nodded.
“It’s not ‘cocking his hammer’,” Melissa grinned mischievously.
“THAT WAS FOR A STORY THANK YOU!” I yelled back.
“Uh-huh. Whatever Meg.”
“Anyway, Melissa, Alex you’re still coming with me for the movie marathon right?” I asked.
“So long as we get to watch LOTR!” Alex laughed.
“Fine,” I grumbled.
“I am pretty! Oh so pretty!” Melissa said in a sing-song voice.
“That is still disturbing,” I sighed. “I got Treasure Planet on DVD, since you guys never saw it in theatres.”
“Spiffy!” Melissa grinned
“I’m not leaving my buddy behind!” Alex grinned resuming his B.E.N. voice.
“BYE JIM!” we all chorused together, going back up into laughter.
“Josh is hot!” Melissa began to sing. “He’s very hot! Josh is hot! Hot! HOT!”
“I KNEW I shouldn’t have showed you his picture,” I grumbled as the lunch bell rang, and we all departed for our next classes.
“Oh and Melissa,” I grinned. “Jim Hawkins and Mr. Shankly clad in swimming trunks and flare pants running around in flower fields.”
Melissa threw a binder at me, giving me the look of doom.
AT THE LIBRARY
“Ugh! This is so boring!” I moaned shutting a book about Emily Dickinson.
“Yeah… school bites,” Melissa sighed.
“I am pretty! Oh so pretty!” Alex laughed hysterically, skipping around our table.
“Alex, shut up, go to hell, stay there, run Satan out of office for all I care… just SHUT UP!” I yelled.
“Awwww,” Alex sniffled playfully.
“Anyway, let’s go exploring this dusty old place,” Melissa suggested. The library was two stories full of books. I made a beeline for the second floor’s paranormal section. I usually wanderer there for a bit, waiting for a book to ‘call me’ from a shelf.
“Spiffy!” I grinned as an old leather-bound book stood out from the shelves. I ran my fingers over the
“STOP THAT!” Melissa yelled attempting to stab Alex with a spork as his hand attempted to steal a french-fry.
It was another day at my sanity challenged lunch table. Melissa was talking about Bon Jovi’s ass and Alex was happily singing about Spam. I sighed and poked Melissa.
“Melissa, can you answer a question for me?”
“Yeah dude?” she asked.
“Why can Mrs. Fork and Mr. Electrical socket,” I began
“Be friiiiiiiiends?” the three of us concluded cracking up.
“That one never gets old,” I grinned.
“I’ve lost my mind!” Alex grinned, sounding like B.E.N. from Treasure Planet.
“What mind? You have one?” Melissa, his girlfriend, asked.
“She’s right!” I added in, with a sly grin.
“Shut up,” Alex sighed.
“Gnomes,” I taunted.
“What about them?”
“Male gnomes with no on/off buttons,” I grinned. Both Alex and Melissa twitched.
“WOULD YOU STOP TALKING ABOUT THE GNOME?” Melissa yelled.
“Ok then… I’ll sing the doom song!” I laughed.
“I think I’d prefer the gnomes,” Melissa sighed banging her head on the table.
“Ok… let’s all change the subject,” Alex finally suggested.
“darn it… I gotta go check some stuff out at the library for Lit class,” I remembered suddenly.
“Dude, I’ll come with you,” Melissa nodded. “So long as I don’t have to baby-sit my lil bro again.”
“Eeep! I think Sasha burning in hell would be much more pleasant,” I said.
“With his banana! Can’t forget the banana!” Alex chimed in.
“Shut up Alex!” Melissa and I hissed together.
“Shutting up!” Alex laughed.
“Can I poke his on/off button?” I asked.
“NO! That’s my job!” Melissa snapped quickly. Alex and I starred in mute horror for a moment,
“That is SO wrong,” I blinked.
“I’ll agree with that,” Alex nodded.
“It’s not ‘cocking his hammer’,” Melissa grinned mischievously.
“THAT WAS FOR A STORY THANK YOU!” I yelled back.
“Uh-huh. Whatever Meg.”
“Anyway, Melissa, Alex you’re still coming with me for the movie marathon right?” I asked.
“So long as we get to watch LOTR!” Alex laughed.
“Fine,” I grumbled.
“I am pretty! Oh so pretty!” Melissa said in a sing-song voice.
“That is still disturbing,” I sighed. “I got Treasure Planet on DVD, since you guys never saw it in theatres.”
“Spiffy!” Melissa grinned
“I’m not leaving my buddy behind!” Alex grinned resuming his B.E.N. voice.
“BYE JIM!” we all chorused together, going back up into laughter.
“Josh is hot!” Melissa began to sing. “He’s very hot! Josh is hot! Hot! HOT!”
“I KNEW I shouldn’t have showed you his picture,” I grumbled as the lunch bell rang, and we all departed for our next classes.
“Oh and Melissa,” I grinned. “Jim Hawkins and Mr. Shankly clad in swimming trunks and flare pants running around in flower fields.”
Melissa threw a binder at me, giving me the look of doom.
AT THE LIBRARY
“Ugh! This is so boring!” I moaned shutting a book about Emily Dickinson.
“Yeah… school bites,” Melissa sighed.
“I am pretty! Oh so pretty!” Alex laughed hysterically, skipping around our table.
“Alex, shut up, go to hell, stay there, run Satan out of office for all I care… just SHUT UP!” I yelled.
“Awwww,” Alex sniffled playfully.
“Anyway, let’s go exploring this dusty old place,” Melissa suggested. The library was two stories full of books. I made a beeline for the second floor’s paranormal section. I usually wanderer there for a bit, waiting for a book to ‘call me’ from a shelf.
“Spiffy!” I grinned as an old leather-bound book stood out from the shelves. I ran my fingers over the