My rejected Christmas Story..

[Lappi]

This is my rejected Christmas Story. Meep...

Noelle: The Christmas Aisha

The snow floated gently from the puffy grey clouds from above and flew onto the aisha’s small, invisible nose. She squinted her eyes and sighed. The December air was cold, and frost had frozen the ground under her. The grass was solid, wet and freezing from the weather, but it was the only place she could feel relaxed away from the other cheery neopets, excited about Christmas coming up.
A girl with long, swaying hair was walking closer to her. She was dressed in a full winter outfit, but she was angry at something. Her face was angry and furious, all but her eyes. Her eyes were sad, and it looked as though she were going to cry.
As soon as she reached the aisha, she stopped in her tracks. The girl looked at her. The aisha looked at the girl.
The aisha stared at her for a moment. She looked at her eyes and thought that she may have gotten in a fight with someone, and she pretended to be angry but was mostly upset.
“Meow, meow,” said the aisha, imitating a cat. She was quite fond of them. “Mew, mew, purr.”
The girl couldn’t help herself from giggling. She looked at the little aisha, her fur full of dirt and grass stains. Then she looked sorry for her and picked her up. The aisha smiled and purred softly.
“Hello, little aisha. My name is Erika, and I’m a neopet owner. Who are you?”
“I’m an aisha,” was all the she could say, for she never had a name. “Me have no name,” she added, remembering.
“Aw, you poor little thing! Would you like to some home with me this Christmas, or do you have someone to stay with?” Erika asked with concern in her eyes.
“Me want stay with you,” replied the aisha. “Me need name, too.”
Erika smiled. “Let’s decide that when we get to my neohome, alright, little aisha? It’s getting really cold out here; I don’t know how you can possibly stand it.”
The aisha nodded. A name! she squealed to herself quietly. A neohome, and an owner, a family and my first Christmas!
Erika carried her in her arms, and the aisha cuddled to her body. Her jacket and scarf were very warm; she could almost sleep there. Erika wrapped her scarf around her after a while of walking. She had walked far, thinking about things until she saw the aisha, but now they were almost home.
Erika trudged through the snow with her boots until they reached it; they reached her neohome. She was sure Edan and Elan would be happy to see her, yet again they were much older than the little aisha.
Erika opened the door, and the warmth of the heating system made her feel much better. She took off her coat, hat, scarf, mittens, and other winter clothes and sat herself at their classic dining table. The little aisha rested in her arms.
“How did the meeting go?” was the first thing Elan, an eyrie, asked as he came into their dining room.
“Oh, it was horrible,” she sighed, petting the aisha. “But I found her on my way from thinking in the streets.”
“An aisha?” said Elan, looking at her in awe. “But she’s not yellow!”
“It doesn’t matter what colour she is,” giggled Erika. So far she had chosen two yellow neopets, and they both had wings. “She’s blue and she’s finally going to have a home at Christmas.”
“She’s hardly even a month old,” said Elan. “She can’t be more than a year, because I’m not even that old!”
“Right, right,” replied Erika. “Where’s your brother? I made lunch.”
Elan ran into the other room and shouted up the stairs for his brother. Edan, a scorchio, flew down and sat at the dining table. Elan followed and they both looked at the aisha.

[Lappi]

“Hi,” she said, blushing and rubbing her eyes.
“Oh, hello there,” chorused Edan and Elan. “I’m Edan,” said the scorchio, pointing at himself. “And I’m Elan,” introduced the eyrie, flapping his wings.
Erika got up and took out the meal she had made earlier. It was homemade fried chicken, and she set the large plate in the center of the table. Then she got four other plates, although much smaller, and put them each in front of them. After that, she took an even smaller plate, put tomato sauce in it, and set it near the chicken.
“Mm,” said Edan, grinning and rubbing his hands together, ready to eat.
“That reminds me,” said Erika. “We all have to wash our hands first.”
Edan and Elan mumbled complaints, washed their hands and began eating. The aisha stared at them, blinking her eyes very often.
“Christmas is coming up,” said Erika through the noises of her two neopets chomping down the food. “What would you like to have?”
“I’m happy enough here,” stated Edan, gobbling a chicken wing covered in red tomato sauce. “A nice neohome, a nice owner, great food and great siblings — what more can I ask for, other than a yo-yo?”
“Yo-yo,” mumbled Erika, taking out a small notepad and writing it down. “And you, Elan?”
“Battle items!” he cried. “I haven’t had another battle item in ages.”
Erika thought for a minute. “Let’s see, you already have an eyrie rainbow gun, a velvet eyrie cloak, lots of poison snowballs, an evil snowball, cheap air ring, cheap fire ring, cheap earth ring, and what else? Well, you also have many shields and swords, a plastic butter knife, and an Invisihat…”
“Okay! I get it, I get it,” sighed the eyrie. “But I share a lot of that with Edan, and I lost that Invisihat!”
Edan laughed out loud. “It turned invisible on you! I can’t believe you didn’t notice you tripped on it about a billion time already!”
“Alright!” said Elan, annoyed at all the tormenting. “Alright, alright. I’d like either a yellow eyrie plushie, a book or something like that.”
“Okay,” smiled Erika. “Now we need a name for our little aisha here,”
“Ellen!” said Edan. “We all should have names that start with an ‘e’”
“Erika doesn’t care about having the same names or colours in our family,” said Elan, remembering her reply when he said the aisha wasn’t yellow.
“How about Christy, since it’s almost Christmas?” suggested Erika.
“I like ‘e’!” cried Edan. “I like ‘em.”
“How about Noelle then?” Erika tried again.
The aisha smiled and blinked again. She really liked that name. “Me like Noelle,” she said, making sure they knew that.
They all seemed satisfied, then Erika asked, “Do you think you like battling?”
Noelle didn’t answer. She had never done so before, and didn’t know if she could now. Perhaps she could do it when she was older, like her brothers were.
“Do you like toys?” said Erika, ready to write something in her notebook.
Noelle nodded. “Toys!” she squealed, jumping onto Erika when she finished writing.
Erika laughed, then asked another question. “Do you like keyrings, plushies, wooden toys, or what?”
“Plushies,” Noelle decided, then knew what her new owner was going to ask next. “Poogle or cybunny or usuki doll,”
“Okay, thanks a bunch Noelle!”
Later on that day, Noelle spent her time in the living room, playing board games with her new family, watching Edan and Elan doing mini-battles, playing with their old toys, and chatting with them.
When dinner arrived, Erika told them about her guild council meeting. “It was so tough,” she said, gritting her teeth. “And I was sure they were going to kick me out!”
“What happened?” asked Edan.
“Well, I was talking about our plans about Christmas, and they disagreed. It took me ages to think of it! They wouldn’t let me change their site either, even though I’m the site designer,” she sighed, and patted Noelle, whom rested on her lap.
“What’s a guild?” she asked, purring and making other cat noises.
“A guild is like umm,” began Erika. “It’s like a group where you do stuff, and the members there are supposed to be your friends and if they have a disagreement, they would tell you politely that it isn’t a good idea.”
“Oh,” replied Noelle, mewing softly.

[Lappi]

The next day, Erika arrived late. She would usually come early in the morning to check up on her pets and cook, but today she did not arrive.
“Maybe she’s busy,” said Elan, as Noelle’s eyes streamed with tears of worry.
“She probably is,” said Edan, not wanting to mention that she would tell them beforehand. “Don’t worry little Noelle,” he comforted. Then he set her on their tiger couch and headed to the refrigerator. “I’ll go see if there is something to eat,”
Elan looked at her. She was crying nonstop, and he knew that he would soon if Erika didn’t come.
“Oh! There’s some yummy apples in here, and even a forest fruit baby food right here for Noelle,” said Edan, attempting a smile.
When they ate silently at the table, Noelle stopped crying. There was a soft ‘tap, tap’ at the door, and she was curious of what it was. She pawed the door, mewing again, until it opened in front of her.
She fell backwards, and it front of her was a man, or a teenage boy; both were very large to her.
“Davis!” yelled Elan in awe. “What are you doing here?”
He looked irritated, perhaps because Elan had seen through his costume — full black clothing with a mask, hat and a suit that covered all of his body but his eyes.
“I’m hacking, you little idiot!” he shot back. “And I’m abandoning you all!”
“Isn’t that against the Neopian law?” questioned Elan, with a puzzled look on his face.
“It is, and I know that, you little punk eyrie!”
“Punk!?” yelled Elan, stunned with surprise. “I’m not a punk! Punks are bad! Erika says I shouldn’t be a punk.”
“Well, you are a punk, and Erika is always wrong.”
Noelle began crying again, and she cuddled close to Edan. “Don’t worry,” he assured. “Elan has really good social skills for his age.”
“Why are you hacking Erika’s account?” questioned Elan, whom was growing tense.
“Because, she’s an idiot and she deserves it!”
“Why, how?”
“She’s always acting smart and kind, but I know she really isn’t. And I hate her, that’s why. She thinks she takes care of her pets so well, and shows off everyday, and is so rich and always buys stuff,” he growled.
“And what’s wrong with that?” asked Elan. “And tell me again why you want to send us to the adoption techo guy?”
“Because I want to teach her a lesson! Neopets are pets, not humans, and she thinks she’s so smart with all her little items.”
“Okay, I understand. If you leave now I will let you go and we can forgot this, but if you stay then we will be forced to battle you.”
“I’m not going anywhere!” Davis said, kicking Elan aside.
“Oof!” he said, getting up. “You certainly don’t know how to socialize!”
Davis called for his fake, robotic mutant buzz, which he controlled, and he forced him to attack them. Elan fought back helplessly without his BattleDome weapons, and he fell back onto the floor.
Edan jumped up and down with Noelle, dodging the attacks easily without effort. Then the mutant buzz took out a snowball and threw it in his face, injuring him but not Noelle. The aisha fell onto the ground and growled and hissed.
“Ah, who are you?” sneered Davis, lifting up the aisha’s delicate head with his hand. “Are you another one of Erika’s stupid pets?”
Noelle hissed some more and bit his finger. Davis screamed in terror and tried to get it off, but Noelle’s teeth and grip were stronger than his running around wildly.
Davis picked up his remote control for his robotic mutant buzz and made him use his claw. Before he did so, Noelle jumped off, did a flip and scratched Davis on her way to landing on the classic dining table.
Davis tried to grab her, but she dodged and chased him until he was out of their Neohome. Then she, too, went outside, and bit and scratched him and his “neopet” until he screamed home in terror. It was especially easy because Noelle was used to the cold, while he was weak and stiff while she attacked.
Davis was gone in a few seconds, and Noelle was sure he was not going to come back. She returned inside, closed the door, and a second later, Erika came in.
“What happened?” she exclaimed, as Noelle went rummaging for a potion. “Oh, Noelle, Elan, Edan! Are you all alright?”

[Lappi]

Noelle nodded and continued searching. Elan got up and was silent, while Edan scratched his forehead and answered, “Yes, but I wouldn’t have been without Noelle, and neither would our neohome; almost everything is wrecked in here!”
“Oh, you know that doesn’t matter; as long as you’re all safe. Did someone hack? Was is Davis?” she asked, worrying.
“Yes and yes,” was Elan’s reply.
“We had better go to Faerieland,” said Erika, picking up Noelle. “Thanks a bunch, Noelle. I’m sure you’re ready to battle already!”
After the visit to the water faerie, they headed to the Lost Desert and to Coltzan’s Shrine.
When they were in front of the shrine, Erika dropped Noelle and urged her to walk up to it. She obeyed and walked slowly and cautiously, her body trembling. She was a bit weak from the battle, not physically but mentally; she was very scared of hackers.
As she neared, a bright light shone. It was white, and in front of Noelle was the face of Coltzan.
“Hi,” she squeaked, her body trembling some more.
“Hello, Noelle, the young aisha. What brings you here?” asked Coltzan, his voice strong and echoing.
“Erika said you would help me somehow, and that you were very kind.”
Coltzan smiled and said, “You are very lucky to have such an owner. I will give you a gift, but make sure you use it wisely. First, you will be healed.”
Suddenly, Noelle’s body stopped trembling and she mouthed a “thank you” to the figure and waited.
“Your second gift will appear in the area in which my crown is,” he said, then the light disappeared, and he did too.
Noelle leaped and held the gift in her mouth. She carried it back to her new family, as they all awaited her arrival. They marveled at her gift and said how lucky she was, and all she could do was smile in delight.
When Christmas arrived, the Christmas tree was shining in bright, colourful lights as they ate a wonderful Christmas dinner together; turkey, pudding, Neocola, and lots more wonderful food made by Erika.
Soon, they gathered around the tree and opened the presents. Elan received an eyrie sweater from Edan, a book from Noelle, and a yellow eyrie plushie from Erika. Edan received wing shields from Elan (they wanted to have better battles with each other), a new, shiny yo-yo from Erika, and a homemade plushie made by Noelle herself, from Noelle. Erika received flowers and billions of cards from Elan, a calendar and a purple scarf from Edan, and a pair of skates from Noelle. For Noelle, they have her lots of toys, books, cards, and a few battle items, but Erika insisted on wrapping her present from Coltzan, and waiting until Christmas to use it.
Noelle removed the wrapping, and took it out. Together, they went outside of their home to the rainbow pool, in which Noelle, whom already looked like a baby aisha, was painted with the Christmas Paintbrush.
“Merry Christmas,” whispered Noelle to the world of Neopia. “Have a merry Christmas, and a happy new year.”

[Lappi]

I know, it's very quick. I hated the hacker part. Argh. I messed up. Maybe that's why it didn't get in.

[sollunaestrella]

It's a good story, thouh!

[pichuthegreat]

I can't see why that story didn't get in

[sensei]

Some ideas for this specific story:

-Try to focus a little more on details. You seem to have it go on for so long... with the amount of facts you provided, a continuing series could've been made that ended and bgan in the same spots.

-If you didn't like the hacker, try to add either a little mystery or a little fear behind him. Usually hackers don't tell anyone they're hacking an account... maybe have the hacker not talk? Or maybe have him very abruptly walk in and grab one of the pets.

-Great idea, and wondeful use of names. Good use of the meaning of Christmas, too.

Hold on to it, and maybe try again for Christmas '03. For now... keep up the good work!

[Lappi]

Hrm... I'm actually planning to write it like Peachifruit... like a series but in the short-stories section... *sigh* Me gonna change it... a lot. Someday. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe not. Who knows. I dunno. I'll shut up now. Yes. I'll do that. Uhh... Ok. SSSHHH...

[peachifruit]

Cute story! I wonder why it didn't get in.

Heh...what a coincidence. We both have Aisha characters named Noelle, Lapin.

[Lappi]

Yeah, I thought of that while reading your story.. HMMM... yeah... I think you can tell what I'm thinking. It's obvious, isn't it?