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Post by Rikku on Nov 2, 2011 23:35:38 GMT -5
Oh banter, how I love thee. =D No seriously. I love this conversation right here, with it's flowing-ness and realistic-ness while being the sort of conversation you really wish you could hear in real life. And funnily enough, the metaphors. It was actually the first thing I noticed about your writing when I first started reading your Neopets stuff, and you're still brilliant at them. ^^ Glees. I'd love to read this story all together when you're done, if you'll be circulating this one. xD How on earth that conversation can be described as realistic is beyond me, but that's glee-inducing anyway, so yay. Flow is good. And being something you'd want to hear is definitely good. And. Yeah. >.> Definitely a thing I do, the metaphors. Whiiiich is fun and excellent but that doesn't mean that it needs to be a thing that every single one of my characters does! But eh. xD Brilliance! Brilliance is good. Thank you. <3 And chyeah, 'course! Well. I mean. If the remainder of it turns out horrid then no, but otherwise yes. xD; I. Er. Sort of want to try and get this published one day? NOT NECESSARILY. But. Yes. Flailing it at lotsa folk to get opinions would have to be a part of that, so. Yeah. ... Right! Writing. >.> Should do a bit of that today. Right. Er. Yesss. |
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Post by Rikku on Nov 2, 2011 23:37:25 GMT -5
Also: so much grinning.
Characters, WHY DO YOU KEEP GRINNING. Are you SKULLS OR SOMETHING. Do you just REALLY WANT TO SHOW OFF YOUR TEETH.
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Post by Trilly (18426 words) on Nov 2, 2011 23:56:58 GMT -5
Oh banter, how I love thee. =D No seriously. I love this conversation right here, with it's flowing-ness and realistic-ness while being the sort of conversation you really wish you could hear in real life. And funnily enough, the metaphors. It was actually the first thing I noticed about your writing when I first started reading your Neopets stuff, and you're still brilliant at them. ^^ Glees. I'd love to read this story all together when you're done, if you'll be circulating this one. xD How on earth that conversation can be described as realistic is beyond me, but that's glee-inducing anyway, so yay. Flow is good. And being something you'd want to hear is definitely good. And. Yeah. >.> Definitely a thing I do, the metaphors. Whiiiich is fun and excellent but that doesn't mean that it needs to be a thing that every single one of my characters does! But eh. xD Brilliance! Brilliance is good. Thank you. <3 And chyeah, 'course! Well. I mean. If the remainder of it turns out horrid then no, but otherwise yes. xD; I. Er. Sort of want to try and get this published one day? NOT NECESSARILY. But. Yes. Flailing it at lotsa folk to get opinions would have to be a part of that, so. Yeah. ... Right! Writing. >.> Should do a bit of that today. Right. Er. Yesss. =) I didn't mean it was necessarily realistic in the sense that you could walk by a couple of people on the street and hear them talking about petroleum vultures, but what I always notice about your banter is the... flow? I don't know. Maybe the way the conversation progresses. It's not awkward or disjointed, and if I met people like the characters in real life then they'd be talking about things exactly the way you have them written down. XD So yeah. I think it'd be a cool story to try and get published. ^^ Now that the vampire craze is starting to shrink a little in teen and young adult literature, fairy tales and interesting twists on nature spirits seem to be a pretty good market. And your story is neat because it has mythology attached to it that I have barely seen anywhere around here, and myths from Greece and such are always very popular. =) I heard my first ever New Zealand myth yesterday, and it would be awesome to hear more. Man do we ever need the variety in books. If I see one more sparkly vampire I might throw something. XD |
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Post by ♥ Bre on Nov 3, 2011 5:41:08 GMT -5
Your idea sounds positively lovely, Rikku! =D Is it by any chance based on Maori mythology? Just guessing, because we're studying that and a lot of the names sound familiar. ^^
Good luck, dear, it sounds like you'll certainly have a whole heck of a lot to write about! =3
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Post by Rikku on Nov 7, 2011 18:31:55 GMT -5
Thank you guys muchly and inexplicably belatedly! <3 And yep, this is all drawn from Maori mythology. Basically my concept is: what would those creatures and beings and so forth look like in the modern world?
(It makes me happy, because it means I have Themes. xD It means that it is a metaphor about New Zealand Culture. That makes me happy because having Themes means I don't have to worry about trying to make it all important because that happens automatically, so I can just go on and write fun stuff!)
... Except. Er.
Um.
This is ... really not going even remotely well.
I mean. I'm a few days behind, which is fine, I'm going to have terrifyingly massive amounts of free time this November, I can catch up. But. I don't want to. xD; I could do it easily, I could churn out the words, but - I hate where this story is going, I do. It's not going anywhere, it's not saying the things I assumed it would say and wanted it to say, it is not. Good. Enough. And yes, I know it's a first draft, but if I love the story enough and it's going right then the first draft and the latter drafts ought to be fairly close. xD I mean. It's be a bit silly to keep on writing because 'it is a first draft and so it does not matter' when you know that it's severely off-track and you'll have to write all this over again anyhow.
... This is why you shouldn't write important books for NaNo, I guess. >.> Or ones that you've written part of for already.
Gah. I don't knowwwww. xD; Maybe if I just sort of leave it for a bit I'll get ideas. I definitely still love the 'verse - got an awesome idea for a short story! - so, I don't know, I think it's just most of the characters in this. (Love Saint, love Noah. The others? BLECH. They do not accurately achieve what I want to be achieved, so screw them.) And. Hrmph.
*scowls*
I can get on-track again, maybe. I'll try.
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Post by Rikku on Nov 7, 2011 22:39:48 GMT -5
Guess who's on track again? I am. I am like anything. *grins like an idiot* ... Maybe. xD Here's hoping, neh? So all I needed to do for things to feel right again was to fit the Hikurangi in earlier, apparently. At least that was my theory and it seems to be right, judging that the first Brooke-Hinewai scene has gone from, like, two thousand words to nearly five thousand and had to be split up (I'm definitely going to have to work on what goes before where, in this book. Right now it's messy) and actually feels like it's doing something. I don't quite like the ending, but I'll fix it later - right now I think I should stop writing for a bit, see if I can figure out what happens next. I'll need to rework a bit of the stuff that happens afterwards to account for this, and for that I'll need to figure out how that scene ends actually, and for that I need to get away from the computer for a bit. Things I've learned: - Whai is ... kinda OCD. This amuses me. Right now it's not amusing because he's a bit scary in this chapter, but later I'll find ways for it to be amusing, trust me. - Brooke swears a lot. A lot. - Hinewai can occasionally be hilarious, and also, in some ways, scary as all hells. - This song fits the feel of some parts of this book really rather astonishingly well. Hang on, I'll just go check and see if anything's excerpt-worthy. xD I don't think anything is, but I'll post one anyway 'cos excerpts are Fun Times and I'm sorta giddy about being properly prolific today. My sister's at, like, 27k, I think I will try to race her. Ha! Here, this'll do. I don't know of I've made Hinewai properly fae. xD; My feel of her is odd. But meh, whatever. I've had fun today. <3 “Now, then. You’re very stupid, which is regrettable, but you might do well enough.” She cocked her head to one side, curious. “Provided, of course, that you’re reasonably adequate at the courtship rituals and practices of your people?”
“At the …? I mean, yes? Um? I mean, well, guys and stuff, that’s pretty easy. This really nice guy took me out just the other day, actually,” she added, beaming again, dear gods did she never stop. “We wandered around and held hands and—”
“That is enough. Please don’t start talking again.” She’d do nicely. She’d know. She could help.
“So, uh. If you don’t mind me asking, why are you …? I mean, what’s with the. I mean. Why do you ask?”
“I need to find true love,” Hinewai said, matter-of-fact. “My sister found it very fast upon descending to the human world; a man saw her bathing and true love happened between them and they were wed. I’ve been here nearly a month and I haven’t fallen in love yet. I think …” It was irritating to have to confess failure to this stupid human girl, but she didn’t have much choice if she wanted her aid. “I think that I am doing it wrong.”
“… You’re doing love wrong?”
Hinewai nodded seriously.
Brooke giggled. “Well,” she said. “That’s, uh. Have you tried gossip magazines? They have quizzes and stuff. Nice helpful quizzes of helpfulness. Or you could watch romantic comedies, that’s always fun, or—”
“Enough,” Hinewai said, and she played a song of binding.
She played a song of slavery and bending-wills and your-mind-beneath-mine, she played a song of forcefulness and control and I am your master, and then she chanted a karakia, and then it was done.
The girl watched her during this process with an amused sort of look on her face, like she was the one tolerating Hinewai’s eccentricities rather than the other way around.
“Firstly,” Hinewai said, almost letting herself smile, “I would like you to stop laughing at me.”
“But you’re ridiculous.”
Hinewai concentrated a little, and the girl winced and paled. She put a hand over her mouth. “… How did you …” she whispered, no longer looking inclined to laugh.
“Your will is bound to mine now. You’ll do as I say, to an extent.” She paused. “It’s not as though I dictate your every action,” she clarified, “but I wouldn’t advise doing anything I tell you not to. Doing the things I tell you to is wise. You won’t die if you don’t, but your mind would break.” She paused again. “… That would not be enjoyable for you, incidentally.”
The girl started to look angry. It was strange on her. “I’m not your slave!”
Hinewai shrugged, and was proud of herself for remembering the body language. “You are now,” she said. “Now, about finding love—”
“You can’t just enslave me!” Brooke said, her face darkening with anger. “You can’t, that’s wrong, that’s not legal or right!”
They were standing on a street corner in Wellington, near a light; it was windy and cold and still dark, and there were not many people around. Hinewai took a step forward, then another, so she was close to the girl, so the friendly golden glow of the streetlight was left behind her, so the darkness swallowed her up. With a thought she made it start to rain, not much, but enough to hiss quietly against the ground and make the girl flinch as the wind threw it into her face.
Hinewai put her lips to the girl’s ear, enjoying the girl’s surprised shudder when she spoke; with weak human eyes the girl could probably barely see her now, could surely only see a hint of a white face and dark dark eyes in this dimness. “Girl,” Hinewai whispered into her ear, kindly, “you’re a stupid human, and you don’t matter, and no one will notice, and no one will care. I’ll make you do whatever I want to whether or not you want to, and there is nothing. You. Can. Do.” (... Er. Hinewai wants Brooke to help her find some guy to fall in love with, incidentally. xD Could be kind of ambiguous in that snippet, I suppose.) |
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Post by Robyn on Nov 8, 2011 0:12:36 GMT -5
robyn what is wrong with you
i'm going to chalk up me not having commented on your lovely nano thread by now to a childish sense of shyness in the presence of such a talented writer as yourself rikku, i honestly don't know why i haven't said anything before now because i HAVE been following your excerpts and everything
hinewai is terrifying. oh my goodness. this exchange and the dynamic between her & brooke was enough to send chills down my everything. i'm finding that a lot of the more excellent excerpts i've been reading have been giving me chills XD that first extension of the control hinewai placed over brooke is captured perfectly
you're doing a FANTASTIC job rikku :3 keep up the great work!!!
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Post by Rikku on Nov 8, 2011 4:29:00 GMT -5
robyn what is wrong with you i'm going to chalk up me not having commented on your lovely nano thread by now to a childish sense of shyness in the presence of such a talented writer as yourself rikku, i honestly don't know why i haven't said anything before now because i HAVE been following your excerpts and everything hinewai is terrifying. oh my goodness. this exchange and the dynamic between her & brooke was enough to send chills down my everything. i'm finding that a lot of the more excellent excerpts i've been reading have been giving me chills XD that first extension of the control hinewai placed over brooke is captured perfectly you're doing a FANTASTIC job rikku :3 keep up the great work!!! *beams* Ee, enthusiastic exclamation marks and everything! <3 I. Thank you. Thank you much lotsly. And. Gah. *bounces* OFF TO DO MORE WRITING~ |
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Post by Trilly (18426 words) on Nov 8, 2011 14:17:32 GMT -5
I love the entire concept of this, with Hinewai calmly placing a controlling spell over Brooke just so that she'll help her find love. It's just very callous and creepy and you carried it off so well! =D (And then that shiveryness combined with the humour of Hinewai thinking she's "doing love wrong" just because she hasn't fallen in love in a month makes it even better.)
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Post by Rikku on Nov 9, 2011 3:02:44 GMT -5
I love the entire concept of this, with Hinewai calmly placing a controlling spell over Brooke just so that she'll help her find love. It's just very callous and creepy and you carried it off so well! =D (And then that shiveryness combined with the humour of Hinewai thinking she's "doing love wrong" just because she hasn't fallen in love in a month makes it even better.) *beams* Callous and creepy was definitely what I was going for. With that humour, yeah. xD I'm never quite sure with my humour 'cos it always sneaks into scenes that are meant to be scary, somehow. Horrorfluff. I write horrofluff. ... And. Er. Folks I wrote nothing today. >.> And I don't even have any reasons! I wasn't having any story trouble or anything, I don't think, I just need to get into the feel of it so I can be like 'whee yay writing' or some such I guess. I mean, I did plenty of other stuff today, I mucked around with Wintec stuff and played cello a lot, but writing. TOMORROW I WILL DO WRITINGS. I WILL HAVE WRITING TIMES. |
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Post by ♥ Bre on Nov 9, 2011 3:45:38 GMT -5
Gah, I hope that I can get back on-track like you did (even though you spent a day playing cello, I'm sure you'll get to work again XD) ... I've got like a 3450-some word-debt. =(
Your idea's amazing, so I'm sure that you'll find inspiration for it eventually. <3
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Post by Rikku on Nov 9, 2011 4:36:49 GMT -5
Gah, I hope that I can get back on-track like you did (even though you spent a day playing cello, I'm sure you'll get to work again XD) ... I've got like a 3450-some word-debt. =( Your idea's amazing, so I'm sure that you'll find inspiration for it eventually. <3 Er. Haha. *grins sheepishly* Actually as soon as I settled down to try and do a bit of writing I found things going excellently. Funny how that works. And hey. You'll totally find it. <3 I mean, the word-debt's not the important thing, the wordcount goal is only there so you have enough urgency that you have a chance at finding the pulse of your story, tapping into the blood and beat of it and dancing to its rhythm and seeing where it takes you. The amount of words you write doesn't matter anywhere near as much as the fun of writing them, really. (... Though. Well. I mean. It's NaNo so it sort of does. xD And the point is to write regardless of whether you want to, sorta, but I like to think that the point is to write until you want to.) ... My favourite line for today is probably: "(...)and I’m not even good enough for you, and you passed the ‘now leaving mortality, we hope you enjoyed your stay’ sign several hundred kilometres back!”, even coming as it does slap-bang in the middle of some Saint-angst, of which there is a surprisingly large amount in this story. xD I'll have to do some tweakin' later. Still. Even angsty he gets the best lines. He so very does. |
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Post by Rikku on Nov 12, 2011 5:06:58 GMT -5
I've written nothing todaaaaay. xD It's irritating. I'm well aware that as soon as I actually start writing it's my very favourite thing in the whole world, so it's, like, the starting that's the issue.
... No, I'm not gonna start at eleven. That's a bit silly. I do not do my best writing at eleven. >.> On Monday I shall plunge enthusiastically in, I suppose. You've gotta keep the story moving so you don't stall.
Er. Unrelatedly. *grins sheepishly* This book is at. Like. 40k. I mean, that's not what I've written in NaNo, obviously, I had a big chunk of it done before November. BUT. That's. Beside the point. It's at 40k! It is at 40k and thus far I don't hate it. I still get sort of warm and glowy when I think about it - I mean, so long as I'm far enough away from the computer at the time and am not in any danger of actually having to work. xD Erm. Yes. Pleased about this. (... Though it's been 40k for, like, three days now. *coughs* Writing! Yes! I will do that on Monday. Yes. Absolutely.)
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Post by ♥ Bre on Nov 15, 2011 7:36:19 GMT -5
40K is awesome!  (Even if you are procrastinating ... *nudges you into beloved work*) It sounds like your novel is going fantastically, and even if you don't write all that often or much, as long as you love it, that's all that matters. ^_^ Hope you keep up the enthusiasm! Best of luck! <3 |
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Brooke
Frequent Visitor
Hmm....
Posts: 117
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Post by Brooke on Nov 15, 2011 11:02:26 GMT -5
40k? Woo! That's awesome!
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(Even if you are procrastinating ... *nudges you into beloved work*) 