Brooke
Frequent Visitor
Hmm....
Posts: 117
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Post by Brooke on Oct 18, 2011 18:35:35 GMT -5
Rikku, your writing is beautiful! I almost cried when the soldier was talking about his family. :')
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Post by Deleted on Oct 21, 2011 16:31:06 GMT -5
Rikku, your world and your mythology and your characters and your writing and this story and everything - it is all so beautiful. If this is just a taste I can hardly wait to see what the whole thing is like. I hope you find your motivation soon.  |
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Post by Rikku on Oct 23, 2011 16:49:51 GMT -5
*beams thankfully at everyone*
... And. Yes. =D Much happier now because yesterday I lay in bed for hours in that sort of twitchy energetic GETTING IDEAS WANTING TO DO THINGS state, y'know the one? The kind of state I love to hate because it means that things are working! Um, granted I was twitchy and energetic for the wrong things, but. xD It all helps! So yeah right now I am kind of like thoroughly in love with TV shows and movies - movies <3 - and musicals and plays and spoken word poetry so very very much and not particularly books at all which is terribly unusual for me! I was like 'oooh in Script Frenzy I can write either an awesome quirky movie' (I watched the end of Hot Fuzz again recently. Also Betelgeuse is playing soon. Also Shaun of the Dead which I've been wanting to see forever) 'OR a series I could turn Wind City INTO A SERIES if I do not find it publishable as a book!!' which is an exciting thing to thing about. xD I ought to try writing a play, really, but then there might be the off-chance of it being vaguely feasible to actually do it, which would involve Showing It To People and I am still rubbish at scripts. >.> Right now I am gleefulest about movies because of all those things and because I've remembered that Weta is awesome. It's encouraging actually - if this book does not turn out rightly I can steal chunks of the storyline and make a series out of 'em and that in turn, if I don't like the series, will be helpful for reworking the book; figuring out what's essential and what's not and making the characters better.
It'd probably be helpful to get in that mindset even now actually, because my characters sure do need work. xD Oh gods there's less than a week left aaaaaargh. OKAY! Whai, I need Whai or some equivalent Whai-character to be there and be awesome. He's one of the patupaiarehe and his role in the story is to ... what? I DO NOT EVEN KNOW HELP. I like him 'cos he runs the Hikurangi Cafe - which became a cafe because Brooke insisted. Brooke by the way he found when she was quite young? and quite confused and possibly tangled in a net. xD It was her first time turning all taniwha, see, and she lost her memory and stuff so he basically adopted her EXCEPT that dynamic doesn't work because basically it's a copy of the Ken-Mynah dynamic which means it isn't new which means I'm not getting any ideas for it, no idea how they work at all. So I need to work on that. I like the Hikurangi because it's a refuge, because it's a foresty place in the midst of the city; it also shows how the atua feel about this whole thing, it's a good contrast of the whole old-new do we change do we not change theme. I think. I think that's the theme? I mean that's a theme that'd ... make sense. And be relevant! To life! To life and the environment.
So yeah Whai makes no sense~! I called him Whai because it's the name of games with string that children play and I think he is fond of that sort of thing. Games, and weaving; such pretty nets he makes ...
I have this vague mythstory in mind that I stillll haven't fleshed out yet, which is about why some patupaiarehe have red hair - it doesn't make sense for them to, they hate the sun and fire, and red ochre can drive them away. Plainly there needs to be a reason here. SO it'll be a nice excuse for me to try and write a mythstory. <3 Which'll definitely add something to the feel of the book, overall, if it fits in it. It'd be why they have red hair, and I think it's a trick that Maui played, and it's to do with going to the patupaiarehe to get their help to make nets with which to catch the sun (to slow it; it goes too fast across the sky, you see, people do not have the time to do all they need to in a day). And presumably Whai would be involved somehow, getting tricked or something, being arrogant and then getting tricked; which'd be fun because it'd be an explanation for why he hates Maui as well (didn't know he did until right then. It'd be helpful though! We could use a Maui-hater) and a backstory for him, maybe why he's basically the only one of his people here, why he's banished to the city and all he can do is weave thin shreds of pretend forest and hide behind them, and pretend that it's to help people, pretend that it's not hiding.
Okay, we need to have a scene where Maui-through-Saint confronts him about that. xD Oh so much conflict there! <3 Yessss
And I have this idea where um. =D I have had this idea from the story's very beginning, I think, though originally it took place at the end and now I suppose it'd be in the middle somewhere. It is where um. Whai ... calls his people down. Summons them with flute and song, and I had reasons to drive him to that! but I've forgotten them! but it doesn't matter because it's epic no matter what excuse I find, all those sharp fae people coming into the city, oh, that's ever so dangerous.
And. Yes. I like Whai and Saint being all conflicty because I have this vague idea that at the end - when Saint'll be all broken, I imagine, poor fellow, that's whatcha get for stealing the story! Ha! - they are talking and Whai hires him, basically. Because Brooke's not gonna be helping out at the cafe as much and he needs some humanish hands around, seeing as he can't handle cooked food and all. xD And Saint is like 'what' seeing as he more expected killing to take place. I don't know, it made more sense before I wrote it.
But I do not have any idea who Whai actually is, I'm not getting any of the 'experimental little sections of dialogue or plot ideas!' thing that I ought to be getting here, and not about Hinewai and Brooke either, except Hinewai eats pigeons which I like. She is timid I think, terrifyingly confident about some things but horrible at human life; so because we ought to have contrast between here and Whai he should be ... different? Cheerful, I was thinking, but we have plenty of cheerful folk in here already. Cheerful in the sharp kind of way? Maybe, but he'll feel like Noah. Sigh. They all need to have different feels! Argh! Why don't they!
AND. Yes. =D Haaa there is so many different things in this story how am I going to keep track of them all aargh. Family! I need to fix the family, I need to figure out firm characters for the sons of sky and earth, definitive characters, like ... like the Endless, a bit. So I'll need appearances as well. And figure out how they all fit into the story (Rongo doesn't, not in this one; Haumia probably doesn't either but most of the others do I think?) and and yes
*bounces and jitters* Gah, I hope I can do justice to this. xD Fun either way! In that torturous, vaguely painful way.
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Post by Rikku on Oct 23, 2011 18:45:49 GMT -5
Also, how do I not have a proper cafe in this story, howI have just discovered this fanfic you see and it is amazing: gyzym.livejournal.com/47843.html It is an Inception AU where Eames owns a coffee shop and I've only just started but gah it is insanely bright and warm and it feels of coffee and friendship and brilliantness and there's a fantastic soundtrack - a soundtrack! - and basically it has me wanting to go 'gah gah WRITE SOME CAFES PROPERLY' which is tricky because the Hikurangi is not exactly a warm and cosy kind of place, what with all the monsterthings hangin' out there and Whai owning it (because he's scary occasionally, I guess? Also because he's rubbish at food) and also there's disembodied hands and heads that you never-quite-see hanging around in the trees because that was a description in some James Cowan text or other and I rather loved it. xD I'd brush it off with a line like "GAH DISEMBODIED HEADS" "Oh, those? Yeah, you get them sometimes" and with no further explanation than that because that'd be hilarious. I dunno. Maybe Saint will be all, "Hey, no, this is what cafes should be like--" and fixes it! I would like that. I have this dialogue-fragment from a while back actually. Sorta like something like this I suppose "... And you don't even do coffee. You have an expresso machine. One. ANd it doesn't even work. How can you call yourself a café when you don't even have coffee? You're a lamé." "Oh yes? And you're an expert in business practices as well as burning things down, are you? How thoroughly versatile." “A friend of mine used to have a café. I worked there ‘til we found out I had an allergy.” “To what?” Work, Saint thought. “… Edible ball bearings,” he said. “The guy loves them, seriously. It’s hilarious.” Hee yes I had forgotten. xD This story should be all café-feel how had I forgotten that, all smelling-of-caffeine thick and strong and art on the walls and music playing people talking taste the sweetness of the ambience on your tongue. Tricky! But I can manage it. While I am doing quotations here is from where I was trying to figure out Whai and Brooke's interaction dynamic. (Brooke is talking to Hinewai here however. Just to clarify.) “Whai? Oh. Well. As parental figures go …” Brooke hovered her hand in the air in a so-so sort of gesture. “How to say this? For my twelfth birthday, when we were still sort of nervous around each other and trying to figure out how this would work, he hung my pet rat. He was trying to teach me knots, see? He was like, ‘Better cut Sniffter—’ that was my rat’s name, Sniffter, he said, ‘Better figure out a way to untie this before Sniffter chokes!’, but I didn’t.” Hinewai stared, speechless. “Yes, I know,” she said. “And I couldn’t look at any rodents without crying for weeks, too. But.” She shrugged. “It’s not every man who’ll make a miniature gallows just for you.” HInewai said, weakly, “I’m starting to think I should’ve chosen someone else to teach me how to be human.” “Oh, I don’t know. If you want anyone gotten down out of a gallows in a hurry, I’m your girl.” ... See? Amusing enough but there's nothing new in it and the characters don't come through and gah. *scowls* Maybe I'll find a last-minute song that fits Whai's character (will probably need to rename him; too similarfeel to Hinewai, maybe. Possibly I 'ship them, I'll have to wait until I figure out who the heck Whai is) and then I will be able to write him? Songs help so very much. And. Yes. *beams* NaNoNaNoNaNo yes |
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Post by Rikku on Oct 23, 2011 21:37:16 GMT -5
Whai has short hair!
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Post by Rikku on Oct 24, 2011 0:20:35 GMT -5
I - I think I want to write the sequel more than this. xD It's not terribly wrong, I don't think, and I do not know what is in it, except possibly Halloween, and it is what the Hikurangi is like a few months later and what Saint is like a few months later (much more disreputable. Also kind of a much nicer guy) and cafe things happen, I suppose. I'd try and fit it into this one, but it definitely has to happen after the main plot-thread-climax-resolution in this, so I wish I had a better idea of what that was. Actually no I don't want to write the sequel more than this, because I kinda really want to find out what happens. Hopefully Steam Pressother people will as well.
So I remember: singalongs! A singalong would be fun and also zany. Brooke or Saint would both be the kind of person to initiate that. xD There's several scenes they're both in, isn't there? So. DO THAT.
... I forget if I was going to say anything else, I got distracted by reading through those 10k I already have again. xD I like Saint, does it show? Okay. SO LONG AS I STAY ON TRACK THIS WILL BE EXCELLENT. <3 Yes. I believe in me. Oh gods I'm going to fail at writing forever and Steam Press will laugh at me and not in the good way
THIS IS EXCITING <3
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Post by Rikku on Oct 27, 2011 20:48:24 GMT -5
Hrmm, I need more distinct characters. xD Whiro and Maui-Noah and Whai all feel way too the same, it'd be fine if I had one of that sort of character but three? I need distinctness! My characters always turn out rubbish when I'm just being like 'okay we need to have a character here for such and such a reason', they only work when they grab me, and I am not being grabbed, here. Grabbing is Not Taking Place. Soooo. *frowns doubtfully* I do not actually know what to do about that. Speech patterns being distinct helps but that's mainly when they're actually distinct characters already. It is mainly Whai I'm worried about, I think, maybe I should rethink him - ooh, he'd be ever-so-much prettier if he was living a nearly human life, that'd make his sharp fae strangeness all the better. <3 Yessss
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Post by Rikku on Oct 29, 2011 4:59:00 GMT -5
On the contemporary fantasy thread in the NaNo forums I rambled this, which I rather like, really: Huh, 'contemporary fantasy' had never even occurred to me as a less city-focused term for urbanfantasy-ish things. Makes a lot of sense!
... What I'm writing this year, though, is urbantastic urbany urban fantasy with side orders of urban. xD A love song to cities, really, or hopefully it'll end up like that - it's gone a bit wonky now and I love the main character's storyline (already have 10k of it, actually. Um. What a renegade rapscallion rulebreaker I am?) but alllll my side characters are, like, rubbish, I don't feel particularly compelled to tell their stories, which means that the reader won't care one fig about 'em, obviously. What I need to do is boil down to the essentials of it, I suppose, and then just run from there?
So, basically, it's pretty standard urban fantasy, masquerade and all, various supernatural whatnots scattered around the place hiding out of plain sight - the main thing making it unique is that it's New Zealand urban fantasy! Yay! Because I haven't read much of that, and New Zealand has both massive, massive amounts of mythology to draw on and some truly interesting cities. SO. This takes place in Wellington, and all the old creatures, the ancient things, the spirits of forest and tree and ground, the mist-fae with their music, the giants, the taniwha ... they're hiding away, sulking, really, not much liking this stupid new world; entirely too many cars, entirely too few trees, they feel. But then the trickster Maui (long dead, but like he'd let THAT stop him) starts stirring up trouble; mostly by talking to the sons of sky and earth, to make earthquakes, to make storms. Not out of any particular altruism or cruelty but mostly because he's bored, and dead, and death tends to mess with your motivations a bit.
He also causes trouble by hanging around one man in particular, a cheerfully unemployed man named Saint. Why? Well, it could be because Saint's good company, fond of flirting and jokes and egotism and doing whatever occurs to him at the time. It could just be that Saint has an odd enough mind that he can actually see Maui.
It could be either of those things.
But actually, it's because Saint is far, far too easy to persuade that all these supernatural beings - the iwi atua, they're called, the spirit people - are monsters, and should be slain, and, well, monster-slaying sounds awfully fun. Just like in all his favourite shows, where the heroes slay demons and fight bad guys and save the world and still have plenty of time to spare for witty banter.
But he's the bad guy this time, and the worst part is that he doesn't even know it.
... Huh. That turned out longer than I meant it to. >.> Oh well. And ... yeah. Need me some side characters! Iwi atua ones, obviously. I SHALL WORK ON THAT. AND HOPEFULLY HAVE SOME SLIGHT DEGREE OF SUCCESS. As summaries go. Gah, I keep on losing the point of this. xD Maybe I'll just have to settle down and think coffee, coffee and wind and safe-places-inside and it is raining outside and you are inside and with beautiful people and warm inside and out and there are things to make and places to be and people to see or you can just sit here, for a while, sit here in the safe and listen to the wind and free-write from there! That - that could actually be really fun, in some ways. I'd just need to read up on all my mythology notes and try and make fresh characters completely as I go along oh gods help there's only a day to go aaargh. ... Eh. This is fun. <3 This is a fun adventure. I do quite like Hinewai, though perhaps in a more minor role. She's fun, with her fluting and odd mix of sharpness and shyness, and habit of eating pigeons. Good way to show the iwi atua being rubbish at this whole human thing. xD And ... hm. Saint's side-characters aren't terribly important, y'know; Benny and Eliza, I just stuck 'em in there when I thought he was a side arc and he needed someone to talk to, but they aren't important, exactly, and they don't exactly fit here (though gods know I could use some actual normal people. >.>), so I could maybe ... gah. Be more to the point there, in some way. I could always have the cafe or bar he's always hanging out in BE THE HIKURANGI but that'd be quite weird. He works with Benny, though, so he can have monies and whatnot, but if I do that I'll need to cut him off from them at some point, in some clear resolved way. I don't know. YAY STORY YAY. <3 This is a story of change, and dealing with change; of being human, and not being human, and whether or not it matters. Most of all this is a story about wind, but as wind is about change and aliveness anyway, you could maybe have figured that out. |
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Post by Rikku on Oct 31, 2011 5:01:58 GMT -5
This is Hinewai's theme song now. Does it suit her? Nope. =D Not even slightly! But it's gorgeous and I love that guy. And it's funny! Haha, geddit, because she's the woman of rain. Because. Storm. ... yyyyeah. HEY HEY do you know what would be fun? =D I need lots of fun escapism to keep my mind from miserably depressing school-things (like 'oh gods why am I not working on exams I will regret this for the rest of my life'. True, I will, but I'd regret being made near-suicidally miserable by stressing horribly even more, brain, jeeze, get your priorities sorted out there) SO WHAT I SHOULD DO what I should do is do more than one story! yes? That'd make up for my 'I have already started this book! and also it is not at all new! and help!' guilt, so. ALSO it would be helpful because then what I wrote of it would be sure to actually drive it forwards. >.> Instead of just being irritating fluff for example. SO. What to do.
*bounces*
Something perky! Or horrorfluff, I've been meaning to write horrorfluff. (I think I coined that term. I'm very proud.) Ummm. Right now I really love movies. xD So maybe something movie-feel. Or people MAKING A MOVIE! Yes! A rubbish one! And then things happen and just I really like movies right now! because they are fun and eccentric and I saw the last bit of Hot Fuzz again recently and just saw Shaun of the Dead and darn can movies be awesome but books can be awesome too, I know that! I just haven't had any 'gah this is so beautiful I need to make beautiful awesome things like this' moments with books lately, whereas I've had lots with movies and shows. *fretbounces* Well I'm definitely doing Script Frenzy! And in the mean time. Yes. OTHER STORY TO WORK ON AT OTHER TIMES I SUPPOSE BUT this is a bad idea but I shall chatter about it anyway because I am bored currently and annoyed with myself for not doing this properly. xD
I should write a new genre. =D Like non-fantasy! Or fantasy with a different feel than I normally do. Or fantasy like I normally do, but more so. I've been wanting to write something called A Midsummer Knight's Dream which I think involves some ridiculously noble knight-guy accidentally drinking a love potion or something that makes him fall in love with a big bad-guy sorceress lady, to the intense displeasure of the sorceress lady. Because it's amusing is why! I've also been playing with the idea of a post-apocalyptic heist story.
...
No, I have no idea what that'd be, but wouldn't it be awesome? xD And yeah. The frantic-ness of writing two books would kind of be a really welcome distraction and creativity-ness. And it wouldn't matter, see? Wind City matters an insane amount, which means I'll be all fretful and mess it up until I remember not to take it seriously. So it'd be handy to have a something else to tinker with.
Okay. So - anything but musicians! Wind City has an absolutely insane amount of musicians, it's absolutely insane! Which is a pity because I have this cool idea I've been fiddling with where, like, people have instruments linked to their souls. I have no idea how that'd work but you could do a huge amount with it, I'm thinking.
One of these days I need to write a story to fit the feel of Viva la Vida. xD Maybe I could do that! No. Hrmmm.
... *scowls* I wouldn't be flailing off on some random tangent an hour before NaNo if I had a proper writerfriend to talk about all these NaNo-things in depth and length, y'know. If I was any more Shade-deprived I would be wilting. Seriously. WILTING. People would look at my leaves and go, "Oh look at that poor wilting person PLAINLY SHE IS NOT GETTING ENOUGH SHADE. I guess that happens when it is SUMMERTIME BECAUSE THAT IS STUPID, except for the strawberries because strawberries are delicioustastyloveliness."
Hrm. If I can keep up my nonsense-writing that goodly during NaNo I'll be fine. xD
I DO NOT KNOW. Suggestions about fun insane side-stories to write if I feel so inclined? =D Could be fun! But is probably stupid. but could be fuuuun
no it is pretty stupid, I am just twitchy.
siiiigh. xD; I should be so much more psyched for this than I am.
...
maybe I should just make things blow up? |
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Post by Rikku on Oct 31, 2011 5:19:26 GMT -5
I could always do that assassin story, the one with Braze all bright and happy and inexplicably an assassin and her friend she christens Ralki, who she thinks is just a crow but is actually the lord of the underworld. um.
(It occurred to me a while back to steal the Jeeves and Bertie dynamic for them. This amuses me far, far too much. "Is there something wrong with my clothes, Ralki?" "They're ... they're awfully bright, ma'am." "WELL I CAN KILL PEOPLE IN BRIGHT CLOTHES IF I WANT TO. HMPH.")
It'd be fun to have something with necromancy AND ROBOTS in it. xD Like this -
"How many times do I have to tell you this? I'm not a necromancer. I do SCIENCE."
"Black science!"
"... Sure. Fine."
(I don't want to write necromancerstuff again already, it's too soon. xD still.)
pirates! Post-apocalyptic whodunnit. er.
... There's always the obvious last-resort solution, of course. xD
He's a bookish moralistic vagrant looking for a cure to the poison coursing through his veins. She's a cosmopolitan kleptomaniac snake charmer who inherited a spooky stately manor from her late maiden aunt. They fight crime!
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Post by Rikku on Nov 1, 2011 1:12:55 GMT -5
It's still not letting me update my wordcount. Hrmph. xD That's startlingly discouraging.
I ... I think I'm back on track, though? I mean it is seeming all yay and fun and I am getting ideas and stuff. Er. This book is going to suffer from a severe amount of Saint, though. >.> Folk who do not like Saint will really not like this book. At all. But yeah! Making sense again better! <3 Currently and probably not for long but still!
thank you Rachel Aaron
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Post by Shadaras on Nov 1, 2011 16:10:08 GMT -5
... *scowls* I wouldn't be flailing off on some random tangent an hour before NaNo if I had a proper writerfriend to talk about all these NaNo-things in depth and length, y'know. If I was any more Shade-deprived I would be wilting. Seriously. WILTING. People would look at my leaves and go, "Oh look at that poor wilting person PLAINLY SHE IS NOT GETTING ENOUGH SHADE. I guess that happens when it is SUMMERTIME BECAUSE THAT IS STUPID, except for the strawberries because strawberries are delicioustastyloveliness." I love you too, dearheart. xD We need to have more time online at the same time, seriously. (which mostly means I should be online more in my-evenings, doesn't it. yeah, right. maybe that will happen?) |
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Post by Rikku on Nov 1, 2011 23:22:13 GMT -5
... *scowls* I wouldn't be flailing off on some random tangent an hour before NaNo if I had a proper writerfriend to talk about all these NaNo-things in depth and length, y'know. If I was any more Shade-deprived I would be wilting. Seriously. WILTING. People would look at my leaves and go, "Oh look at that poor wilting person PLAINLY SHE IS NOT GETTING ENOUGH SHADE. I guess that happens when it is SUMMERTIME BECAUSE THAT IS STUPID, except for the strawberries because strawberries are delicioustastyloveliness." I love you too, dearheart. xD We need to have more time online at the same time, seriously. (which mostly means I should be online more in my-evenings, doesn't it. yeah, right. maybe that will happen?) Yes. xD Indeed we do. 'course, I'll be getting a whole lot of free time in ... let's see ... basically from next week onwards. Insane amounts of free time. So we could work out what time was most convenient to your time zone, if we needed to. |
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Post by Rikku on Nov 2, 2011 3:56:29 GMT -5
Hello NaNofolk. Do you want an excerpt? Of course you do. ... It's weird. There's going to be quite a lot of Brooke-Saint interaction in this, way more than I was expecting, not that that's hard when I wasn't expecting any, but anyway yeah they get at least one more scene together after this and - don't get me wrong, they're fun, and I think I might end up 'shipping them which amuses me, but. xD; They're both. They're both the kind of character who I can just - write whatever comes to mind (often without conscious thought being involved. >.> Which I imagine shows?) and it works, and that's fun, but having them both in the same scene is surreal. See, they both talk a lot like me, in some ways, and it's like - gah! How do I keep these two distinct! But mostly I am too busy being like 'heehee, this is such a bizarre conversation' to really mind. xD So that's alright. ‘Still Alive’ was playing, and he hummed along absentmindedly as he sauntered to his favourite seat and settled there. The word ‘settled’ here means ‘thumped the bar with a fist and ordered, “ALE, barkeep!” in an amusingly low-pitched voice and then sat down’.
“Ale?” said Brooke, right next to him. “They sell ale here?”
Saint yelped and almost fell off his stool, scrambling at the counter for balance. He pulled himself back into the land of the vertical and adjusted his coat, then took Brooke’s hand gallantly and kissed it. “M’lady,” he said politely. “I beg for the sunshine of your pardon or whatever; your radiance must have been so intensive that my mind blanked you out so I didn’t lose my senses from your sheer loveliness!” He paused. “By which I mean," he added, "that I didn't see you there."
Brooke grinned. She looked very much like she had before; impish smile, pink gumboots, too-big coat. Saint approved of the coat – it was old and battered, yes, but still a coat, even if it was a coat of a duffelish persuasion. And she was of course very pretty. “No, yeah, I can definitely see that. Nice save. Very smooth. Suave. Definitely not hilariously fail at all.”
“This is the Brooke you needed to save?” said Noah, peering critically at Brooke from about two inches away. Saint managed not to look at him, but it was tricky. “She’s a little … coarse.”
“Coarse?” said Saint, forgetting himself.
Brooke blinked in confusion. “Eh?”
“I meant,” said Saint, wanting to headdesk but not quite wanting to risk his forehead on the dubious hygiene of the bar counter, “of course it was, smooth and suave is my middle name. Middle names. Er. Middle phrase.” He grinned. “... My entire middle phrase is, of course, much more dramatic and eloquent. Presumably it involves rhyming."
“‘Ode to Saint-ness’,” Brooke said.
“Actually, I can’t decide whether I’d rather it be a Homeric-style epic or a limerick of some sort. Could you do both?” He scratched his chin. “There once was a guy named Odysseus, who … wanted to get back to his miss-ius …”
“Or how about no,” Brooke said. “Oh, hey, actual ale. Cool?”
Saint lifted up the tankard. “My thanks, barkeep,” he intoned gravely, and Benny gave an uncomfortable smile and went off to polish something. Saint tried to take on a noble generic-fantasy sort of pose and took a sip of ale, and swilled it around in his mouth thoughtfully, swallowed, smiled, and said, “I think ale is actually the foulest thing ever invented. If you took a vulture, drowned it in crude petroleum, resurrected it with unholy arts and then—”
“Do I want to hear that metaphor?” said Brooke.
“No,” Noah told her, “his metaphors never make sense.”
“—and then made it prepare you, er. What’s something unpleasant?”
“Your metaphors?”
“Something unpleasant that’s edible. Also, if my metaphors were edible they would be the equivalent of fluffy, delicious cupcakes. Cupcakes with sprinkles. And jam in the middle. And little hearts drawn on them with pink icing.”
“Oh, God, he’s making meta-metaphors now, we're doomed,” Brooke remarked to the world at large.
“I did warn you,” Noah said.
“Um,” said Brooke, not hearing him, of course, “um, gross foody thing.” She clicked her fingers. “Avocado!”
“Really?” said Saint, delighted and diverted. It was fun to find out small details about a person; then you could piece them together into a rough picture of Who They Were. (It wouldn’t work for Saint, of course, because you couldn’t piece together an idea of someone from small details like ‘rolls cans down hills’ or ‘is rubbish at trying to impersonate Jack Sparrow’. Unless you could.) “You don’t like avocado?”
“I once tried to make a song about how much I hated avocado, but I couldn’t think of anything that rhymed with ‘slimy green snotty dreaded hell-fruit’," said Brooke.
“Timey mean knotty headed bell-flute,” said Saint.
“Listening to you two talk is making me mourn all that time wasted learning your language,” said Noah. ... See? xD Seriously. They talk so much like me. Um. Oh well, it makes things fun. But next story I am going for dialogue distinctiveness. Srsly. |
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Post by Trilly (18426 words) on Nov 2, 2011 23:00:58 GMT -5
Oh banter, how I love thee. =D No seriously. I love this conversation right here, with it's flowing-ness and realistic-ness while being the sort of conversation you really wish you could hear in real life.
And funnily enough, the metaphors. It was actually the first thing I noticed about your writing when I first started reading your Neopets stuff, and you're still brilliant at them. ^^ Glees. I'd love to read this story all together when you're done, if you'll be circulating this one.
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