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Post by Deleted on Sept 29, 2009 9:44:30 GMT -5
Yeah, it's that time of the year again...
I have no idea what I'm doing.
If anything, I'll probably attempt the City Never Sleeps again.
This time with some more to it. Switch things around. But on the other hand, that story sucks.
Maybe I'll actually attempt Thief by Night?
Probably not.
I'll figure something out, y'know.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 29, 2009 16:32:43 GMT -5
okay, ideas.
i may attempt to do thief by night after all.
don't plan on winning this year. i never do.
but it's worth a shot, eh?
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Post by Deleted on Oct 1, 2009 16:02:05 GMT -5
so have you ever considered using golden turkey blasters as a plot device
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Post by Deleted on Oct 1, 2009 16:06:20 GMT -5
Okay, I've decided.
I'm officially doing Thief by Night as my NaNoWriMo story. And it works, too, because what I originally wrote for it is completely irrelevant to the plot. I changed it, like, entirely. xD
SO. Ideas, ideas, ideas.
The plot is pretty simple. Straightforward. Not too much craziness.
Alycie Orazi is your every day Princess. Pretty, skinny, blonde... But certainly not stupid. She is incredibly intelligent, and incredibly bored (huh, what does this sound like...), with politics, corporations, her royal life in general. But one night, an old friend walks back into Alycie's life. Kelli (the friend), is now a renowned thief living in the gutters of Vitadel City, but she's accidentally uncovered one helluva secret. And when days later, Kelli is found dead and Terra (Kelli's accessory Imdesida Ultima... I'll go into this later) Alycie immediately suspects foul play from Damien Syzoi, head of the corrupt Syzoi Corporations. Now Alycie's given a chance to find the truth, uncover what really's going on underneath the helpful facade, and make things right in the dirty city. Alycie dons her friend's thief identity, the Mistress of the Night, to let the legend live and to protect her own safety, and before she knows it, thieving is the thrill in her life she's looking for. But the deeper she goes into Syzoi's headquarters, the farther she falls for Syzoi's son, and the clearer the blurred past of a young girl named Devi becomes... Can she make things right before it's too late?
I've got the first part of the story all figured out. I know exactly what I want to do. But the rest of it is still a little blurred. The whole deal with Devi, Ryuu, everything is heavily under construction. But I'll get it figured out. That's what October is for, no?
Oh, and I downloaded an awesome program called FreeMind. It's like those brainstorming webs I used to have to do in school... It's pretty cool, but I was just wondering if anyone's got any useful, organization downloadable programs for a Mac? yWriter5 was amazing, but it's only for Windows. =( So, yeah. if anyone's got any suggestions, they're very much appreciated. <3
edit; KIRBY. lolwut? xD
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Post by Deleted on Oct 1, 2009 16:31:50 GMT -5
Concept Art, old drawings, whatever page.  Ooh, crazy Devi ftw. She's definitely going to have that freak spazz attack and kill like everyone at the end. deff. [/img] moar old art of Devi... Though I think this is the only image I have of Alycie. xD She definitely looks different from this. Doesn't really dress that way... Whatever. But Devi hasn't changed very much. She's the same, for the most part.[/spoiler]  Ah, Ryuu. So I guess he still looks like this. He's Asian. And has long hair. Really doesn't have much to him. xD tu sabes. don't have really anything else. i think i've finally got an idea for how i want Terra to look. for the most part. but i still need to come up with some sort of look for syzoi. first i need to see how old i want him to be. he's either going to be a "nerdy"-looking type of guy, muttonchops ftw, or a really scary Dr. Drakken kind of guy. xD haha. |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2009 17:29:25 GMT -5
okiedokie. character development tiem. Devi Anna Rose was born sometime before Ryuu was adopted by Damien Syzoi (still need to figure dates and everything out). She was the only daughter to Naomi and Able Rose, and their family was part of the Espen Mountains clan of the Badlands. (location, location. the Rockies got renamed as the Espen Mountains, and the Badlands are the Great Plains and desert areas of the United States. Since they were deemed as uninhabitable, the civilizations never bothered past the fruitful east coast, until one future Admen brought a colony over the country to settle on the Atlantic coast. anyway, getting offtopic...) These clans are a bit like Native American tribes as that they are cut off from the rest of civilization and are very primitive in their habits, very much a contrast from the advanced cities of the New World. The big thing and difference with the clans of the Badlands is that they believe heavily in curses, blessings, demons, and angels. (as science became the leading logic in the New World, and especially when the Ancient World's God was proved to be nonexistent, religion and spiritualism and all that yummy stuff fell apart) When Devi was born, the Clan Leaders told her Naomi and Able that their daughter had a curse on her. The Leaders warned them that if they did not dispose of the child, she would bring death and destruction to the clan. Naomi refused to give up her only child, and for years they lived as outcasts and a feared family. Sure enough, on the eve of Devi's tenth birthday, a troupe of men in white jumpsuits invaded the clan, killing of individuals one by one. Devi awoke that night to find her mother being gunned down, with her father right by her mother's side. The anger, sorrow, and loneliness bubbled inside her tiny body, and as the troupe went to continue on with their search, the demon inside of Devi woke up. She was so close to attacking the troupe leader before he ordered to euthanize her, and Devi was gone. One day, many years later, Devi wakes up in a white room on a white bed in a white dress. She has no clue about anything -- where she is, how she got there, who she is. She does not remember her past. All she knows is the name that comes into her mind -- Devi Anna Rose -- and that's all. Frequently men will come in to check on her. See how she's doing, examine her body, read her books to see if she's retained any information. Eventually, an older man comes in and explains something to Devi. His name is Damien Syzoi. She got into a nasty accident, and now he is helping her get better. Devi does not question. But Devi feels as if she is not getting better. She doesn't even know if she was sick, hurt, or anything in the first place. All she wants is to go home... Wherever home is. And then one fateful day, a stranger bursts into Devi's room. Apparently the intruder, who introduces herself later on as Mistress, was looking for something called 'Experiment 667', but instead managed to find Devi. Mistress would've left Devi by herself, but she later confesses that something inside her head was sending off an alarm. That something wasn't right. So when the REAL alarm in the headquarters goes off, Mistress takes Devi with her. Devi then finds out that the thief, Mistress of the Night, is really Princess Alycie Orazi! Except that Devi doesn't know the significance to that. She doesn't know anything about the world she's living in, but she does seem to take knowledge very well. Using Terra's cloaking device, Alycie is able to disguise Devi as a maid in the castle to keep her around. not sure what happens next but i'll dwell on that another timeeee ~ so anyway, Devi and Alycie bond very closely. Alycie treats Devi like the little sister she never really had (considering how much Alycie dislikes her real little sister, Kylie). But as their time together continues, some interesting things about Devi become apparent. One, her pupils are very different, in which instead of them being circles they're squiggles. Also, Devi's skin is able to regenerate at a lightning-fast speed. Cuts, scrapes, and wounds heal almost instantaneously. And thirdly, Devi is sometimes able to make magical things happen, like being able to pick up things without touching them, or making her hands glow. eventually, the end comes around, some nasty drama and whatever.
somehow, alycie and devi and terra are in the deepest level of the archives in Syzoi Corporations Experimentation Headquarters, where they find a copy of 'Devi's memories'. They play the file, and it shows a montage of life through someone's eyes… Devi's. And the last thing to happen was the last thing Devi ever saw -- her mother being killed, and Devi going crazy. and that's it.
Devi realizes what has happened. Once upon a time, she was a normal girl living out her life. And then Syzoi and his team came and ripped her village apart. They killed her friends, her family, and even her. Devi realizes that she's nothing more than a zombified superweapon. another Syzoi experiment. and that's when the curse in her body takes its full effect.
Devi goes insane with the overwhelming power of her curse, and goes off on a rampage. She eventually finds Syzoi in his office, but not before plowing through tons of security and almost harming Ryuu, and kills him. this part here is pretty sketchy, because i don't know what's really going to happen. what the problem is. whatever.
But anyway. Once she realizes what's happened, Devi calms down… Only to find that she's dying. The curse (magicality, really), was something that her body could handle. but when Syzoi implanted her with tons of upgrades, power that was too much for a fragile girl of ten… she fell apart. Devi dies in Alycie's arms, finally being able to return to her mother and her father. Where she truly belongs. craziness. there's a lot i still need to figure out, too. =P |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2009 19:09:04 GMT -5
characterssss ~
(as of right now)
Princess Alycie Elizabayeth Orazi ; our protagonist. Princess of Vitadel, bored with royal life. takes over the persona 'Mistress' to uncover the truth that Kelli accidentally discovered.
Princess Kelli Estelle Antoinette ; former Princess of New France, disowned and thrown out of the region for reasons unknown. a childhood friend of Alycie, she lived for years in the gutters of Vitadel City, taking up the persona 'the Mistress of the Night' for her thieving career. accidentally uncovered a secret over Syzoi Corporations, subsequently killed. her death throws the plot into motion.
Terra ; an Imdesida Ultima, version 05 (the last one made). resembles a kitsune from Ancient World mythologies, he was deactivated in 2005 by Syzoi. activated again by Kelli when she stole him from the HQ. was given instructions to have Alycie be his owner if anything was to happen to Kelli. is able to contain infinite amount of knowledge, hold conversation, recognize and receive information by looking at a person's eyes, and has a cloaking device that can effect one other person.
Devi Anna Rose ; found by Alycie in Syzoi Corporations Experimentation Headquarters, was the secret that Kelli accidentally uncovered -- Syzoi was creating a superhuman weapon... but for what reason? Devi was rescued and taken to the Orazi House to live.
Ryuu Matsuda Syzoi ; adoptive son of Syzoi, he was rescued from an orphanage on the other side of the world (where Japan would be... considering he's Japanese xD) ten years prior. now twenty, ryuu is the Junior Chief of the Police Force, and heir to the Syzoi Corporations throne. gives a tough facade, but inside he just wants to be loved... which he eventually gets from Alycie. it's just too bad that it's his job to kill the Mistress of the Night.
Damien Josef Syzoi ; the antagonist, although his entire corporation could be considered the antagonist... a very suave, persuasive gentleman. used to always get his way, until one day he got onto Lord Orazi's bad side. the two have been political rivals ever since, and Orazi has been denying Syzoi on everything. for a spoiled brat like Damien, that certainly shouldn't end well...
Lord Xavier Isaac Orazi ; Lord of Vitadel, father to Alycie. he really doesn't have ALL that big a role in the story, but he does oversee everything in their region, so he's a pretty vital character in that sense. also, he's the reason why Syzoi's a pissy little brat during the story.
Axel / Lolita ; Terra and Devi's disguises, respectively. they act as servant and maid to the Orazi House in order to be around Alycie. Axel proves to be a very hardworking butler (it IS in his programming to obey, after all), while Lolita is distracted and tired very easily.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 8, 2009 21:11:14 GMT -5
 Devi's maid disguise, Lolita. Can anyone say Ms. Fanservice? haha. I'll edit this page later, when I add moar tekteks. 8D  Regular Devi.  Princess Alycie Orazi, regular attire.  Princess Alycie, royal attire. wears this to the Gala where she meets Ryuu.  Kelli Antoinette as the Mistress of the Night. Alycie doesn't find her outfit very practical, which is why she later changes it.  Alycie as the Mistress of the Night. Upgraded the outfit, added a practical mask, face guard, and gloves.  Ryuu Syzoi, police uniform.  Ryuu, normal attire.  Damien Syzoi, normal attire.  Damien Syzoi, fancy attire. wears an outfit similar to this to the Gala. |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 9, 2009 16:49:12 GMT -5
Alright, this is me just rattling off ideas. Back stories. Whatever comes to mind. So here's the deal. I know Alycie's modus operandi. and I sort of know Syzoi's. i need to figure out the fuzzy little details. Alycie takes up the persona of Mistress to infiltrate Syzoi Headquarters. what is the first thing she does? i'd say the very first mission is her entering the headquarters, the research facility, and she scopes something out. what information does Kelli leave her with? not much, i'd assume. all she says to Alycie is she found something big. like... maybe some kind of document that tracks Devi's progress? or maybe the official record file of Devi? or maybe Kelli saw Devi herself? so Alycie knows that Syzoi's up to something... oh, i know! the very first mission, she stakes out the headquarters and overhears something about a superweapon. but before she can learn anything more...
brilliance! alycie meets ryuu towards the beginning of the story, at some sort of conference meeting... won't know she's syzoi's son until the middle of the story. she's inside of syzoi headquaraters, and i suppose terra triggers an alarm? or syzoi knows she's there, so he sets off the Police on them. they fight and whatever, and when the team has them cornered, ryuu makes an appearance. ohnoes! conflict. alycie's boyfriend is trying to kill her! awesome. so they fight, lalala, and alycie gets away by the skin of her teeth. all she knows is that syzoi is planning something big... and she only has a matter of time to stop it.
problems, problems, problems. why can't she get to devi right away? why is it delayed? i don't know. i'll figure something out, though. i'm just happy i got that figured out. =) i need a timeline... alycie finds pleasure in thieving. otherwise bored with life. but with all the things happening, she forgets about her task. eventually she is blinded by ryuu to think that syzoi is doing nothing wrong. eventually terra gets her to infiltrate the HQ. learns about devi, fights ryuu. tries to infiltrate again, syzoi sets up an emergency meeting about mistress to stop her that night. he gets orazi to pass a law for him to shoot mistress and kill her. nonetheless, alycie breaks in and steals devi.
Okay. What I get from that is the first bit of conflict in this story. Alycie becomes so involved with the Mistress persona that she forgets about the task at hand. Terra takes her to where Kelli is buried and reminds her why she's become Mistress. Alycie, in a fit of guilt, storms Syzoi Headquarters to prove that there's nothing going on... But then she cracks the system, and learns that Syzoi is plotting something. His experiment 667 is a deadly weapon that he's planning on something. Alycie has no time to finish the log before the alarms go off and the police flood the office and headquarters.
INSPIRATION. Alycie was constantly battling with a masked (well, more like helmeted) police leader as Mistress. brilliant. and then it is here that she finds out that it is Ryuu she has been dueling with this entire time.
Alycie falls into a pit of denial. She doesn't know who to trust, but she quickly realizes that Kelli did die for a reason. She immediately goes off to infiltrate the HQ again, but is stopped when her father calls her down to an emergency meeting with Damien Syzoi. He says that Mistress has broke into his HQ, and he requests special permission to euthanize her if he catches her. Orazi, disgusted by such scum, allows Syzoi to do so, and Alycie is stuck. If she's caught, she'll surely be killed. And that could mean so much worse...
Still, Alycie swallows her pride and goes ahead to stop Syzoi. It is here that she finally meets Devi. okay. so this has nothing to do with the plot advancement, but it does have to do with how alycie meets devi.
Alycie storms the HQ finally, and finds out where Syzoi is keeping the secret experiment. She heads to the room, thinking that it's finally over, and she's about to expose Syzoi for the monster that he is -- until she kicks open the door and sees a girl standing there, instead. The girl turns around and says, "You're not Mr. Syzoi." Alycie replies: "And you're not his experiment..."
Alycie: Syzoi's keeping a kid around here? Something's not right here... What's your name?
Devi: ... Devi.
Alycie: How long have you been here for?
Devi: I don't know.
Alycie: Why are you here?
Devi: ... I don't know.
Alycie: This is messed up... Terra, come here! Look, he's keeping a kid here. I mean, I knew he was a creep, but come on... Check the rest of the rooms. Devi, listen to me. My name is Mistress. Mistress of the Night. Have you heard of me?
Devi: No.
Alycie: Good. Have you ever been outside this building?
Devi: No, not even outside this room...
Alycie: Cripes, this is wrong. Terra, did you -- NO, TERRA, NOT THAT ONE!
*alarms go off*
Alycie: Oh no. oh no oh no oh no YOU. Devi. Come on, follow me, you're coming with me.
Terra: Miss Alycie, what are you doing?
Alycie: I dunno where this experiment is, but I'll have to find it another time. I'm rescuing this girl, that's what I'm doing.
or something to that effect. it sounded cooler when i was in the shower. after alycie rescues devi, syzoi backs off. she has taken his illegal superweapon and he can't draw attention to it. syzoi instead uses ryuu to see it alycie will fess up, and also to see devi in the palace.
alycie distances herself from ryuu after she rescues devi and learns that he is her rival. one night, he shows up at the Orazi House, and they get into an arguement. she smacks him on the arm and hits the recording device. they fight even more, and then syzoi's men storm the castle. it is a race against time now, with alycie running from the police. she races to her room and changes into her mistress persona, just in time for her family and the police to see her.
"where's alycie?!"
"... i'm sorry."
she jumps, terra catches her with devi on his back, and they fly off into the distance. now it's time. they go to syzoi to get to the bottom of this disaster. |
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Post by Sammy at school on Oct 14, 2009 13:20:51 GMT -5
posting this here for my own benefit; programs like yWriter5 to check out.
Storymill
Storyist
Jer's Novel Writer
Bean
Ulysses
Pages
MS Word for mac
Writeroom
CopyWrite
WriteItNow
Mac Journal
and definitelyyyyyy Tiddlywiki. it looks awesome!
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Post by Deleted on Oct 22, 2009 17:10:19 GMT -5
alright. so now that i've pretty much gotten the entire plot figured out, here is a timeline and a full description of the events of this story. as a rule, this post will contain major spoilers for it, so if you don't feel like learning the ending, then don't read on. Day 1; the beginning. a look into alycie's life. she attends a conference with syzoi and some other CEOs. that night, she has her run-in with kelli.
Day 2; kelli is found dead. terra comes after alycie, saying that he is now under her possession. takes up the mistress persona and figures out how to get terra to stay in the castle.
Day 4; the very first heist. alycie infiltrates syzoi hq and steals an infodoc on 'the mistress of the night'. syzoi had been watching her for a while, recording what she had been after, but when she stole something related to experiment 667, syzoi ordered her arrest. alycie steals the infodoc and gets away by the skin of her teeth, and this thrill excites her and starts something new.
Day 7; alycie goes another heist, but this time not to syzoi corporations. she has a run-in with the police (this is where terra flies down a hallway and tears through the throats of a dozen policemen and alycie feels a bit burdened, but later on that night, they return to the scene and learn that these policemen aren't real men, but an army of androids. and their creator? damien syzoi.) alycie meets her rival, the head of the police force, and duels him. he becomes her rival.
Day 17; the thefts continue. alycie watches a newsreport on it in the morning, but then spends the rest of the evening getting ready for the royal gala. this is where alycie meets ryuu and falls for him.
Day 19; alycie was going to go out to find information out from syzoi h.q., but instead ryuu surprises her and they spend the evening together. terra, disguised as axel, keeps trying to tell alycie to go out, but she's too stricken in love. they end the evening on the balcony, where alycie and ryuu share their first kiss.
Day 20; terra finally speaks up. syzoi is plotting something horrible, he feels, and she is completely ignoring what kelli died for. he takes her to kelli's grave to remind her. with the mention of kelli and her death, alycie is brought back to reality, and that night she sets off to infiltrate syzoi's h.q. once again. she wants to believe in ryuu, and believe that there's nothing wrong, but at the same time she wants to find out the truth. so she goes to the h.q. and pumps some employees/databases for info -- finally, she pulls up syzoi's personal infodocs and learns about experiment 667. it is his prized possession, an illegal superweapon that he's spent years upon years creating. she then learns where the experiment is being kept and rushes to find it, except that she forgets about the alarms she was trying to avoid and she's on the run once again. but this time, as she's fighting her helmeted rival, she knocks his cover off and learns the ugly truth -- her rival is her boyfriend, ryuu syzoi, the head of the police force. she gets away by the skin of her teeth, but is crushed.
Day 21; alycie knows that there isn't enough time, so she prepares herself to break into the h.q. once again. however, she's thwarted by syzoi himself, who sets up an emergency conference. he tells how the night prior, mistress broke in and escaped. he says that he's had trouble with thieves before, but she seems to have an obsession with him as this is the umpteenth she's broken in, and he requests special permission to euthanize her (as she is one of the most wanted criminals) if she attempts another heist. and lord orazi grants him this permission. alycie is scared for her life. if she tries to break in again, she'll most likely get caught, and she'll surely but killed. but she remembers kelli. she asks terra to take her to the grave, and she contemplates. finally, she comes to the conclusion that kelli shall not die in vain. she swallows her pride, and comes up with a plot.
Day 22; the big night. alycie spent all of the day before coming up with a plan, and now it's thrown into motion. after a bit of a search, they find the vaults, and they approach the room in which experiment 667 is in. alycie breaches the tripwires and terra overwrites the door code. alycie kicks it open… and instead of an experiment, there's a child standing in the room. alycie starts talking to her and orders for terra to check the other rooms, but before she realizes what a bad idea that is, terra opens another door and sets off an alarm. alycie, scared for her life, tells devi to come with her -- they're getting out of there. and once again, she gets away with her life…
Day 23; the next morning. alycie decides to allow devi to stay in castle, using terra's spare cloaking device. there are messages from ryuu on her phone. she ignores them, ignores him. he's the last thing on her mind.
Day 25; alycie spends some time with devi, they talk about things. alycie gives some background information about herself, devi is no clue about anything in her life. they talk, and alycie shows that she really cares about devi.
Day 32; ryuu, after going days without hearing from alycie, finally decides it's time to pay her a visit. he stops by randomly one day, and asks her why he hasn't heard from her. she says she's been busy, he doesn't believe her. he wants to talk it out, but instead they get into an argument, and alycie smacks him across his arm. she hits something, and ryuu finds out that he has a recording device strapped to his shoulder. he's just as surprised as alycie is, but she's panicking because she knows exactly what's happened. syzoi used his son as a recording device to find out info on her, and devi's been in the room the entire time. as if on cue, police storm the castle, and alycie's on the run once again. terra takes devi and runs off, while alycie makes a dash for her room. she changes into her mistress outfit, and her family and the police enter the room just in time to see her drop from the window. terra catches her with devi, and they venture down to the Underground.
Day 33; the next day, alycie reads about what happened -- she's under arrest for suspicion of possession of illegal weaponry, but mistress is even more wanted for the suspected kidnapping of the princess. with this, alycie decides that it's finally time to get to the bottom of this. with devi and terra, she storms the h.q. one last time, this time venturing into the archives. they find the memory room, where they uncover devi's old memories and play them on the device. when devi learns about who she really is, she starts to go crazy and overwhelmed by the curse, she starts to go after syzoi. alycie chases after her, but is stopped by ryuu, who picks a fight for taking the woman he loves. he's ready to kill her, and alycie is about to reveal that it's really her, when an explosion rattles the entire building. terra flies in and brings alycie and ryuu to what's happened… devi has destroyed most of the building, most of the police androids, and now she's gone after syzoi. they get into the room just in time to see the two of them dueling, and then devi decimates him. ryuu is heartbroken over his father's death and attacks devi, but alycie then attacks ryuu to protect her. devi, looking around at the death and the destruction, collapses to the floor. overwhelmed by all the power syzoi had implanted her with, she dies in alycie's arms. alycie, overtaken with grief, cannot stop her hair and eyes to return to their natural colors. ryuu learns the truth, and although he is crushed by his father's death, he feels that this is his chance to live. they go to bury devi's body, next to kelli, and then they escape.
the end. |
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Post by Deleted on Nov 6, 2009 18:46:32 GMT -5
yeah boy, over 10k wordssssss. doing pretty good. =) this is exciting.
no excerpts for a little while because the writing is terrible. xD haha. i don't want human eyes to see this just yet.
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