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Post by Deleted on Jul 18, 2007 23:19:06 GMT -5
Hmmm. I'm very confused, but this involves my big brudder, so SOMEONE needs to get to the bottom of it! 8O
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Post by Ikkin on Jul 18, 2007 23:45:14 GMT -5
SOMEWHERE WHERE STAL CAN'T FIND ME >_> A surprising new development has come up in regards to the Stal situation. Through some unknown means (read: Ikkin's too lazy to come up with a real excuse), all of the forumers who had been imprisoned in Administrative Review by Stal were freed and are currently on the run from the crazed dictator, hiding out in... you really thought I'd say, didn't you, Stal? The gathering of the imprisoned, which is most certainly not an attempt to plot the downfall of Stal, is not the only interesting thing that's going on, however. Tabloid Town itself is in chaos, with a run on brain bleach creating the most unstable situation yet. This was caused by a sudden surge in the demand of brain bleach due to certain pictures that were uploaded into the giant banner screens that hang over Tabloid Town. Since the sellers were too busy bleaching their own brains, they were unable to properly compensate for the added demand, and... Well, let's just say that the situation's the kind of thing that would make someone who wasn't Stal interested in economics. As for the pictures themselves, they are so horrible that even a description in writing would probably cause the reader to want to claw their own eyes out to get rid of the images, but, the reader has a right to know. Don't read this if you just ate, are about to eat, or ever plan on eating again, period. You have been warned. The images in question are ten-foot tall pinup-style photographs of Stal wearing the newest in his "Stalor Moon" line, which is even more horrifying than the original Stalor Moon was. The skirt, which was barely there as it was, seems to have been reduced in length by several inches, and the rest of the costume was similarly modified.
Add that to the insane expression on the dictators face and... well, you get the picture. No one is quite sure what to do about this situation, but then again, no one is able to get close enough to the screens without immense damage to themselves to even attempt a solution. From... I'M NOT TELLING YOU, STAL, this is Ikkin Winterstone.
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Post by Amneiger on Jul 19, 2007 3:08:50 GMT -5
And I assume you'll be giving economics classes to those who are interested in the topic? Where will they be, exactly? And when? *acts innocent*
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Post by Crystal on Jul 19, 2007 3:33:46 GMT -5
JUST OUTSIDE ECONOMISTS HEADQUARTERS, 1612: Stal, the much rumored and much feared new dictator of Tabloid Town, has declared official war upon the rebels who opposed his regime.
"My dictates are reasonable," he proclaims. "This Ikkin Winterstone is blowing everything severely out of proportion! Not to mention I've never seen more biased things in my life than the articles she writes. The mods were only imprisoned for a short time, and there were plans to free those who agreed not to cause further chaos... as who else but Winterstone herself is doing? Plus, did I mention that NSQ painted the walls of Admin Review pink and flowery awhile back? It's not much in the way of a dank dungeon!"
In fact, the dictator mod, dressed smartly in a skirt and padded glowy bra (the most recent in the MoonMoonStal line of fashion) called publicly today for his devoted followers to stay calm and throw anyone who approached them 'in a subservient, cowardly, rebel-like way, afraid of even stating where they were hiding out' into the Economics Pit of DOOM. He hinted at the presence of Staleks (new, improved versions of Daleks) in the pit... surely a fitting punishment for people who would even want to oppose the mighty Stal.
"Ikkin Winterstone is one of few," Stal advised in a private interview after his official speech. His legs were crossed demurely and he was sipping tea, stirring it with a dainty little teaspoon while his Stalor Moon cloak billowed out dramatically behind him. "In fact, if you'd believe it, the reason she's blowing this vendetta completely beyond Neopia is because she tried to seduce me awhile ago!"
He nodded, smoothing back his hair. "I refused her of course... why, she babbled about finding out that her husband was a female, and wanted me to rescue her from... her! But really now, how could I have done that to my Spot?"
"So, naturally," he sighs, "Now she's just trying to make this dictator thing bigger than it actually is." He lowers his voice, confidentially. "In fact, I even have reports that she was the one who arranged for those particular pinups in Tabloid Town to be, well, pinned up. That's because they were only supposed to be released in August."
Stal believes that the people Madam Winterstone writes about as dying at the sight of the new posters are actually, up close, tabloiders fainting in glory and delight at the 'stupendous' new designs.
"Do not feel afraid, Bloiders of the NTWF!" he shouts at the end of his official speech. "The rebels are fewer than you think... so many mods, and Bloiders, and Neopians, are standing by me or staying neutral! Soon, my army of Staleks will crush the rebels' pathetic hiding place, which isn't half as well hidden as they think, and we will all live in Wonder! and Peace! and Tabloids!!
"WHO IS WITH ME?!?"
And the crowd I am standing in responds by a huge scream of "WE ARE!"
This is Crystal Tumbleweed, slightly deafened and crushed, signing out on the latest news from Tabloid Town.
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Post by Dan on Jul 20, 2007 0:02:45 GMT -5
In fact, the dictator mod, dressed smartly in a skirt and padded glowy bra (the most recent in the MoonMoonStal line of fashion) If we continue to get advertisement this good, I'm all for supporting Stal. >_>
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Post by Deleted on Jul 20, 2007 0:49:00 GMT -5
*pauses for a moment*
Crystal? I think you should have spoiler-tagged the whole article. >_> I just spat all of the food I ate in the last twelve hours back into my bowl. D: And because of that, Stal... *ignores Stal*
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Post by phoenixblessed on Jul 20, 2007 13:28:20 GMT -5
*snirk*
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Post by Ebil on Jul 20, 2007 13:35:33 GMT -5
0_0 ...this is extremely interesting. I think I'll watch everything from an ivy-coated balcony somewhere with a bowl of popcorn.
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Post by Killix on Jul 20, 2007 14:19:44 GMT -5
*pops in* *reads title* Wait, Stal was nice before?
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Post by KitClairvoyance on Jul 22, 2007 6:33:14 GMT -5
He nodded, smoothing back his hair. "I refused her of course... why, she babbled about finding out that her husband was a female, and wanted me to rescue her from... her! But really now, how could I have done that to my Spot?" ..wait, wha? D: Okay, this does it. *hoists up anti-Stal banners* .. THE RESISTANCE SHALL PREVAIL! Really, it will. Look at Star Wars, the Rebels won. And um.. LOTR! The resistance shall always win. >> ..this calls for a campaign. =D
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Post by Deleted on Jul 22, 2007 7:03:33 GMT -5
*pops in* *reads title* Wait, Stal was nice before? It was only a matter of time before someone would post just that xDDDD
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Post by Draeroz on Jul 22, 2007 7:32:01 GMT -5
*pops in* *reads title* Wait, Stal was nice before? It was only a matter of time before someone would post just that xDDDD *wishes he had done that since it was in his mind for a looong time* *emo*
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Post by Spot on Jul 24, 2007 19:50:52 GMT -5
ATTENTION! The Lord of the Splatterboard has issued a new decree, and a warning for all the fools that would choose to oppose him! For all of his loyal followers, he bestows the name of Death Adder upon thee. Ye shall be as the symbol for which you are named; quick to strike, poisonous and fatal to your enemies, and mathematical wizards. For his most trusted followers, he graces you with a mark, with which to show your allegiance for him, use to call him, and signal in the skies of victories for his cause. I present it to you here: For all who would foolishly refuse the great Stalmort's rule, consider this your last warning! Resistance shall be crushed with formulas and economic graphs! He is not without his merciful ways, though; should you change your ways to follow him, he will look upon you in a kinder light. There shall be no great hero for you, no childish character to rise to victory against him. You should revere the Lord of the Splatterboard as your hero! No one will step forward to 'save' you, as you say. And we will not tolerate spoilers! So even any willing heroes cannot step forward, for your actions against Lord Stalmort may reek of spoilerific things, and as such, shall be smited by the Lord of the Splatterboard . =3 (And as such, we have loopholed our way into extending his great reign!) Priestess of Lord Stalmort, ~ Spot Le Strange He nodded, smoothing back his hair. "I refused her of course... why, she babbled about finding out that her husband was a female, and wanted me to rescue her from... her! But really now, how could I have done that to my Spot?" ..wait, wha? D: Okay, this does it. *hoists up anti-Stal banners* .. THE RESISTANCE SHALL PREVAIL! Really, it will. Look at Star Wars, the Rebels won. And um.. LOTR! The resistance shall always win. >> ..this calls for a campaign. =D All resistance shall be CRUSHED. >O *throws a math book at Kit*
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Post by Ikkin on Jul 24, 2007 19:58:53 GMT -5
Great Dark Lord, I would be most pleased if you would accept my allegiance in these, the most trying of times. I would be honored to help bring about your reign of logic and mathematics, and will proudly wear your mark.
I have a wonderful position right next to Ikkin, and she trusts me with her own life. I imagine I could be useful, if you desired to make me so.
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Post by The Wanderer on Jul 24, 2007 20:10:30 GMT -5
Great Dark Lord, I would be most pleased if you would accept my allegiance in these, the most trying of times. I would be honored to help bring about your reign of logic and mathematics, and will proudly wear your mark.
I have a wonderful position right next to Ikkin, and she trusts me with her own life. I imagine I could be useful, if you desired to make me so. Stal, if you kill Wanderer-- Fox. ... Whatever. I'll make your take over permanent.Kyu, you-- *punches Kyu in the man-land* >_O *realizes he's still in control* He's not helping you... and I'm going to go lay down for a while... Good day.
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